What's worse is that Xia Chen'an keeps to himself. After learning this major, I had to hold on to the end. Later, Xia Chen pinned his desire to become a compound language talent on his students. It is already difficult to get good grades in this major, and it is even more difficult to strike a balance between two majors that require a lot of time. Dudot was a gifted student. Xia Chen liked this student very much. Once taught, one point can be understood. I like the classics, and I like English too. It's a good material for making compound language talents. Xia Chen poured all the things he had learned and prepared into Du Duo.

"Teacher, your writing is so good, have you read a lot of books?"

— "No, I haven't read a lot of books. Just love reading dictionaries. Such a text is just a flowery vocabulary, and there is nothing special. The more I wrote, the more I felt hollow, and the more I wrote, the more I felt that there was something wrong with me, and I couldn't change it. ”

Many people have said that she writes very well. She herself knows that this is a disadvantage. Because she pays too much attention to the external form of the engraving article.

After opening the gorgeous outer packaging, there is no profound meaning. The profound connotation of the article is composed of the author's experience and insight, which she does not have.

In a sense, she is not suitable for writing. Because she lacks affection for everything. Some are just feelings about things and people.

She couldn't understand people's motivations, and sometimes it was strange to see them crying or laughing. Since she began to study Russian literature, she has shied away from it. She preconceived that Russian literature was difficult and obscure, and further that the classics were difficult and obscure. She seems to have forgotten that her enlightenment books were a copy of the Analects and a copy of My University with translations. When she couldn't read them, she had a natural affinity for them, and felt that she belonged to them and the ideas they expressed. When she could read it, she chose to escape and stay away.

Or that she was originally a contradictory individual. She deified Lin Gu and deprived him of his right to be a normal person. She forcefully puts the model of idealized love between them. She explored all the privacy of Lin Gu, and felt that it was boring. She forced Lin Gu to live as a myth in her mind, and felt that there was no need to force it. At the end, she was no longer moved, but she still had to keep it.

"It was inevitable that he would leave me. At that time, my family was broken enough to provide him with financial assistance or power. I don't have any possessions, it's clean. What can be given is the most worthless love. But love, any girl can give, so what I give is not a necessity. What's even more terrifying is that I feel that I have changed my mind too quickly, for fear of affecting him and breaking his heart. Strangely, I don't seem to see the future at all, and I'm willing to work it. ”

At that time, Xia Chen's living expenses had just dropped from 60,000 a year to 10,000 a year. She's not used to it. When I was taking the bus, I arrived at a familiar stop and wanted to get off, but suddenly I remembered that I didn't need to go in. The clothes she was going to take for dry cleaning were neatly folded and sent back home, never to be worn again. When washing clothes, the skin on the joints of the hands was also rubbed more than once. It only took a year to walk ten steps from carrying three kilograms of milk to carrying ten kilograms of weight. During this period, there were many requests, but she turned them down. She was afraid that she would be distracted, and she was afraid that she would not be able to turn back once she wrote. There is an audience for any genre, and if you start now, you can only stay immersed in the fantasy of "I'm good" and stop moving, and you can no longer see your own shortcomings, and you can't see the gap between yourself and what you want to do.

"A really good article must not only be well-written, but also have a taste. It's just that you can't afford to keep looking at it, and every time you can have new inspirations, and every time you feel different. Although it is clear in front of you that book and that author. If you can meet such a standard, whether the writing is good or not is secondary. ”

Xia Chen has no feelings, but is full of sympathy for other things. It's not because she has a strong ability to empathize, it's because she always treats other people's stories as her own. She always comforts others, hoping that others can get a good ending, and she gets lost in the stories of other people's mouths, thinking that it is her own life.

Ah, no. "There is only one work, which can be regarded as a work that retains obsession. It is the Divine Comedy by the Italian poet Dante.

"The Divine Comedy" is a famous work of the Renaissance, and Xia Chen is obsessed with the "Divine Comedy", not because it is an outstanding representative of the Renaissance, but because of Lin Koo. Xia Chen likes works of monsters and spirits, as well as works with religious overtones and fantasy meanings. One day, Xia Chen happened to turn to the painting about Virgil in the album - "Dante and Virgil in Hell". At that time, she mistakenly thought that one of the two people who fought and scuffled was Virgil, and later learned in a more detailed and detailed explanation that the two most prominent onlookers were Dante and Virgil. In front of such a bloody and bestial picture, Xia Chen was very excited, and there was an excitement in her heart that had no reasonable explanation. She became interested in the expressive content of her paintings and the sources of inspiration for them.

The source of everything was the "Divine Comedy" that she wanted to read but didn't have the guts to touch. The original work is in Italian and is not part of Xia Chen's research area. At that time, Xia Chen had forty pages of translation materials on hand every day, and it was a luxury to be able to read things outside the field of study. It just so happened that Lin Gu had read the "Divine Comedy" in its entirety, and she wanted to ask Lin Gu if he had any good suggestions and opinions. After that, Xia Chen suffered the most unforgettable blow in his life.

"Do you really want to watch the Divine Comedy?" When his thoughts came to the word "sincerity", Xia Chen's heart stumbled. Is there a time when you don't really look at it? Or I, Xia Chen, don't deserve to study this kind of thing with sincerity. "Don't take it as your refuge. "Writing is my life, and I live more happily because I have the freedom to create. But writing can never be counted as my refuge, rather, it is my hell. For a new idea, I lost sleep all night long, and for a fictional character, I lost money and my mind was sluggish. It was a career that I knew was mediocre and hardworking, but I was willing to give my all. It turns out that my creation is a game in your heart, without sincerity, it is a gorgeous set built for you, and a beautiful dance drama performed for you alone? Xia Chen's anger turned red. She chose to be silent. Xia Chen is incompetent, in the face of attacks, in the face of doubts, in the face of her heart, she can't speak up for herself, more often, she chooses silence.