Who can remember a few old childhood dreams?

Who hides a few broken youths?

Who is not a carrot whisker......

——Xu Song, "Carrot Whiskers"

Back in time, it was April 2011. After experiencing a violent emotional twist and turn, I was only eighteen years old and still in my second year of high school, and suddenly sank and degenerated.

Music, games, these things that used to be quite a distance away from me, suddenly came into my life. Just as death is an integral or indispensable part of life, they become inseparable from my life in an instant.

Music, if you talk about your favorite, it is undoubtedly Xu Song (Vae). His songs, "The Funeral of the Rose", "Gray Head", "Admiration", "Chengfu", "Hurt", "If At That Time", "Not Sensational", "A Solo Journey", "Our Love Is a Serious Waste of Life", "No Makeup", etc., soothed my extremely wounded soul at that time.

When it comes to games, we have to mention the Han-style "Fantasy Three Kingdoms". At that time, I was sitting in the classroom and had nothing to do, so I used my first mobile phone in my life to play a mobile game on the Internet. This game is the Han-style "Fantasy Three Kingdoms".

This is the first time I have played a mobile online game, and it is also the one I am most addicted to. Going to class, going out of class, and going home on the day off, I didn't leave my hands. It's like poppies, seducing the soul and devouring my whole mind!

Open up Hongmeng, who is the love species? It's all just for the wind and the moon......

In life, the first love is often the most beautiful, and the feelings invested are often the most sincere, but they are always the saddest.

When an infatuated person with deep affection encounters the first loss of love in his life, the blow he faces can be said to be unbearable.

Just because, with deep affection, love is very true.

In 2011, with all the showdowns, my friendship with someone for nearly five years broke down, and all hopes and thoughts were shattered.

Endless tears, endless loneliness, endless loneliness, endless sadness...... Like a rushing tide, it swept over my broken heart.

The most tiring thing in this world is to see your heart broken, and you have to glue it up by yourself; the most bitter thing in this world is to know that the broken and unbreakable heart can no longer be spliced together, and you have to keep tears and try to leave a memory for yourself; the most helpless thing in this world is to glue the broken heart with all your might, hold it in your hand, and then break it with your own hands!

There is no heart and no pain, and there is no pain without heart.

When the sadness reaches its extreme, death, which usually seems extremely distant and does not seem to have anything to do with oneself, cannot help but appear in front of you.

It's just that it takes great courage to choose death.

A person was born in the world, although he came naked and had no worries, but at the moment he landed, he was stained with many entanglements. Parents, relatives, friends, classmates...... These are the factors that you have to consider when you are discouraged and want to say goodbye to the world.

Because of the stumbling, so worried. And because of his concerns, he lost his courage.

And because of the loss of courage, there is naturally no urge to face death.

It's just that when something reaches a certain point, it will always explode. When the water is full, it overflows, and when the moon is full, it loses. Some things are depressed to the extreme, and they will always erupt like a volcano and boil at will. Just as Mr. Lu Xun said: If you don't explode in silence, you will perish in silence.

So, you need to find something to channel.

Games and music were undoubtedly my way of venting and diverting my attention at that time.

In real life, I don't usually take the initiative to talk to people, especially those who are not familiar with me, and I feel embarrassed. Because of her introverted personality, sometimes, when a strange girl stands alone in front of her, her face will involuntarily turn red. But virtual games, where no one can see anyone, will undoubtedly not have such a problem.

So, in the game, I put aside a large part of my shyness and timidity, and tried to chat and make friends with men and women who are also addicted to the game on their mobile phones.

The virtual world, many of the rules and regulations in reality, is no longer difficult to bind. Here, anyone can speak freely. Soon, I made a lot of friends.

Yuecheng Tian Ningxuan, Second Ear, Snow White Demon, Dream Xiaolang, Xiang'er, Xiaoxue, Broken Saucer...... One familiar name after another, representing different encounters and acquaintances.

Because Yuecheng and Second Ear are particularly popular in public chat groups, they can't attract attention if they want to, especially Ear, which is pursued by single men in countless games.

The demon is definitely the kind of domineering and exposed, and if you don't agree with each other, you will go on a killing spree, killing you and crying wolf.

Xiao Lang is my apprentice, but there is a saying that my relationship with her is absolutely true. That is the back wave of the Yangtze River pushing the front wave, one wave is stronger than the other, and the front wave dies on the beach. She is very diligent, she trains faster than anyone else, she seems to have money, and her equipment is definitely one of the best. Those guys who are just leveling up are not opponents in the first place.

Xiang'er, the wife in the first game in my life. Of course, it was also the first time in my life that I played an online game.

Xiaoxue is my younger sister in the game, delicate and naughty, but very obedient and clingy.

Broken disc: The sister I recognized in the game, broken discs are just my habitual name, every time I ask her about the real world, I always don't want to reveal more, it seems to be very mysterious. A mysterious girl with a story.

Ever since I had been hit hard in real life and felt like my life was bleak, and the game world was colorful, full of camaraderie and warmth, I threw all my emotions into it for no reason. No matter how exciting TV and anime are, we will get tired of watching them after a few hours, but games are different, they can directly hit the fatal wound of human weakness. So, it became my only safe haven from the cruel reality of indifference. As long as I have something to eat, I can live my whole life in it and never come out again.

It's just that everything in the world is not absolute. God, I always like to play a joke on you when you're happy.

Originally, I thought that the game was my place to get rid of sadness, get rid of loneliness, get rid of loneliness. But I don't want to, it's a wolf, it's a tiger!

When I was extremely vulnerable, it showed its snow-white fangs, saliva mixed with blood, and frantically bit at my flesh and blood, making my already scaly body more and more scarred.

If it's just a raging wind, that's fine, but if it's a rainstorm with a howling wind sweeping the world and overwhelming the world, it has to be a headache.

So, quietly, I changed a district and built a new number in the new district, named Longxiang.

The dragon soars in the sky. I hope to have a new start in a new place, and to be able to regain the joy and joy I had when I first started playing games.

So, I got to know her.

It's not unusual for us to know each other, just because we got along in a public group chat, we added friends to each other. And because of her fate, she became my sister in the game, and I love her very much. (ps: the kind of brother to sister)

And at the same time as her, there is also Xiaomei - Yan Xiaomei.

The three of us have a good relationship, and often chat in the big group in the district, games, singers, music, in short, all kinds of things. It was another fun time after I played Fantasy Three Kingdoms.

It's just that time has passed, which makes people helpless.

With the passage of time and the departure of one acquaintance after another, everything changes.

And as my phone broke down due to accidentally falling to the ground, after getting a new phone, I couldn't find the two districts before "Fantasy Three Kingdoms" after I was discouraged, and I haven't played it again.

Time flies, time flies, and now six years have passed in a hurry.

From the age of 18 to the age of 24, I went through the college entrance examination, graduated from high school, and graduated from university.

From the age of eighteen to the age of twenty-four, I slowly began to become mature and stable from the original youth, immaturity and shyness.

During this period, the friends who used to play games together could not escape the ruthless law of time, and finally gradually dispersed, each returned to their own lives, and each fought against the monster called reality for their own ideals.

Six years ago, there were frequent contacts, but six years later, there were only a few.

Time is like a flood of beasts, diluting the feelings between people and consuming the regretless and fearless that once existed.

The frivolity and persistence of the past, the sorrow and tears of the past, six years later, are just the ......

Emotional people are always sad and sad.

When one after another people who were once extremely familiar gradually move away from the trajectory of your life, it is inevitably embarrassing. Friends walk together all their lives, and in the days when they are getting farther away, I always want to hold a warmth, hoping to be able to hold their hands at the next intersection without telling the dead.

However, the ending was bleak......

In the past six years, if you say that you have always been close to me, there are only one or two friends who have played games together. And she was in the middle of it.

She was a poor girl. I've always thought so.

When she was playing the game Three Kingdoms, she told me about some of her experiences. It was a brutal youth.

She said she played the game just to escape the harsh reality. Only in the game can she find a little sense of security. She feels that the game is her life, that is, all she has!

Maybe it's a sympathy, or maybe it's sympathy, I love her. In the game, I was always afraid that she would be hurt and that she would be wronged too much. Even if the game comes out later.

And she is also very well-behaved, knowing that I am not in good health, and always tells me to rest well and not be too tired. Knowing that I don't eat breakfast all the time, I will also tell me to remember to eat breakfast, otherwise it will not be good for my health.

She, like me, doesn't seem to be in good health. Once she complained to me about her stomach and gave her all the comfort I could.

She knows that I am a good writer, writing novels, and constantly striving for my dreams, and she often comments on the journal I posted, saying how she feels after reading it, and giving some words of encouragement.

Once I re-posted "Friends" on QQ Space, and she asked me to cheer up, saying that she would always be there. I replied to her: Well, some people once they know each other, they are forever. When I replied, I was very serious and sincere. That's my affirmation of her weight in my life.

Sometimes, I would send her the novel I had just written. She always gave me what she really felt after reading it.

I have a lot of trust in her.

For me, there is no difference between online friends and real friends. She is just like my own sister to me, not much different.

I truly feel that it is an honor for me to meet such a trustworthy person in my life.