Qiao Nan's Diary - Excerpt from a Letter to Heaven

2007.2.17

It's been a few days since I've been back, and I feel like I can go back to school, but I'm working on training. If I was numb, I wouldn't miss you.

This is where I will serve in the future, and this is where I have always longed for. There have been many "firsts" in our army here, and everyone here is the best in the army. I was supposed to be here as a soldier, but now I'm at the bottom of everything, unconvinced, and powerless. If you're still around, you'll know how to comfort me.

But don't worry, I haven't served anyone. I'm still holding my breath that one day, I'm going to be the best here.

Since I returned from Hong Kong City, those Devil Sect leaders have been very kind to me, and the warriors who had been unconvinced by me have suddenly become close, which makes my heart furious. The reason for this is not because I train hard, but probably because of you!

In their eyes, I was a poor man who had lost his girlfriend, but I didn't want to be such a poor person.

I miss you.

2007.4.25

It's been more than a month since I returned to school, and I have to write my thesis and prepare for the graduation entrance examination. After the tempering a year ago, I was able to pass the graduation joint entrance examination with my eyes closed, and what gave me a headache was the thesis. It's incredible, I boast that I haven't tasted defeat in the examination room, and I used to take as many exams as I want in mathematics, physics and chemistry, but now I actually have a headache with papers.

I heard from the instructor that if we leave the school early, the defense will also be advanced. You once said that you should treat your dissertation as a gift to your alma mater. I would like to do that, judging from the results so far, I just want not to add to the blockage of my alma mater.

I used to be ambitious for my dissertation, and I felt heartache for my depravity. However, the supervisor said that you don't expect anyone to cite how valuable your undergraduate thesis is, right?

The dislike of the tutor made me feel at ease and boldly be an academic bastard. After all, I want to be a martial artist in the future, and no matter how well I write my thesis, it won't save my life on the battlefield.

But it's still sad to think about it, I really wanted to write it well, I didn't want to mix it up from the beginning, I still wanted to be the light of my alma mater, you know my feelings, right? (Actually, I hope you can laugh at me)

I still miss you today, come and see me in my dreams!

2007.5.25

Graduated today.

I took two degrees, said goodbye to a bar, and had two more stars on my shoulders. Looking at it this way, I have lived a very fulfilling four years.

After the award, I called you excitedly. Oh, I forgot, your phone is off forever.

I am approved in advance for the college entrance examination, and I am still approved in advance for graduation. The wave of our early departures took place in the small auditorium with a simple ceremony. It's really too simple, and the school is not afraid of us scolding it.

In fact, we used to scold the school in a fancy way, but we were only allowed to scold ourselves. Now that I'm leaving, I can't bear to scold him. I ran around the school one last time and remembered everything it looked like. It's never been so cute.

I'll be leaving in two days, and my dorm brothers will see me off at the station. Since then, he has been a scholar to a soldier guarding the frontier. From now on, we'll never run together, we'll never compete on the training ground, we'll never gag in the dorm room, we'll talk about all sorts of topics. (The topic of the boys' dormitory, you still don't know as well)

We are classmates and comrades-in-arms, and there is no need to say much about this feeling. I was the first to go, so I'm glad I came to think about it. If I send them away, I might be so uncomfortable that I shed tears. I'll go first, and I'll leave the matter of shedding tears to them! After all, Lao Tzu has always been chic, so he doesn't want to cry and chirp.

Dongmei, now I love this military uniform very much, more than I imagined. Especially a few days ago, I walked with my classmates in Orange Island, and the pride of wearing a military uniform has always lingered in my heart. I think there is only one poem that can describe this unforgettable military school career.

Just a young classmate, in the prime of life, a scholarly spirit, scolding Fang Xuan.

Pointing to the country, inspiring words, the dung was ten thousand households.

Have you ever remembered that when you hit the water in the middle of the stream, the waves curb the flying boat?

2007.6.10

Soon after I arrived, I was ready to participate in the exercise, and today I received the task, and I was as excited as a spirit monkey. But in front of the soldiers, I can't jump up and down, and I refrain from doing so now.

The moment I received the task, I had an idea, and I had to take my own equipment to investigate. It's a pity that this is not like our school, there is no electronic equipment library, and I may have to disassemble things and find parts again, but I hope I will not be punished.

My little universe is about to explode, and I hope I will be amazed!

Don't forget to come to my dreams and cheer me on!

2007.7.10

The past should not be brought up again.

If I meet that woman again, I'll ...... I'd better stay away from her.

Can't be provoked, can afford to hide.

2007.7.11

Am I a cautious eye? Why am I still haunted after all these days?

I didn't perform badly in school, and I also made a second-class meritorious service, and I could have been directly promoted to the deputy company, but there were too many capable people in this broken unit, and the chief still wanted to test me.

The drill was supposed to be a great opportunity, but it was disrupted by three stupid students, especially the girl who was crying and blowing bubbles.

It's just eliminated, and he was almost shot by the police. (This sentence was crossed out by Qiao Nan, and several were crossed)

After all, I am also a layman, if you see me like this, will you be disappointed?

I'm having a hard time anyway, so I'm just here to talk to you.

Good girl, come back to my dreams! I miss you especially at the moment.

2007.8.10

After running five kilometers, my thigh always hurts, will I lose my youth? Forget it, when I come to this broken unit, I don't care about my life, do I still care about one leg?

I went down the mountain and met a puppy, who was only one or two months old, and I didn't know how to run to the wilderness.

Covered in mud and dying. It suddenly occurred to me that we were crawling in the mud and were almost like this bear.

Ah, no, it's supposed to be this doggy.

I picked it up, bathed him, hey, the dog is called a handsome, majestic, good dog!

The fighters liked it very much, and I seriously reported it, hoping that it would become our true comrade-in-arms as soon as possible.

I took a picture, sent you an MMS message, and I expected you to compliment it a few words, but until now, you haven't responded.

It's me who is confused. Forget it, let's imagine you saw it.

2007.10.15

This time I went to the plateau and was scolded half to death, and to be a commander, I had to learn to be scolded first.

Even if you are scolded, you will be scolded in front of so many soldiers. Face is really worthless.

I'm a bit of a commander now, though. In the future, if I really encounter terrorists hiding in the mountains, I will definitely let them die without a place to bury. Think about this, face thing, I don't want it.

Also, I heard you calling me in the plateau. I picked a flower for you and came back, and I will give it to you next time I go to Port City.

2007.10.30

Who the invented the hunter camp

Lao Tzu's legs are really going to be wasted

How did Lao Tzu become a prisoner of war in a daze

God fucking setting

Those ruthless ones

Lao Tzu was almost killed by them

Lao Tzu will never be a prisoner in this life

rather die than submit

(This diary was crossed out by Qiao Nan throughout)

2007.12.10

Recently, I was revisiting "One Hundred Years of Solitude", and Marquez is a genius.

"Wherever you go, you should remember that the past is false and that memories are a road with no end. All the past springs no longer exist, and even the most tenacious and crazy love is, in the final analysis, only a fleeting reality. ”

The inevitable end for all is loneliness.

I loved you, but I'm lonely now.

2008.1.3

I used to be the most slippery way to climb over high walls, but now I often can't climb over them.

Today even dragged the group back.

Probably it's going to be scrapped.

2008.3.14

There are still a few hours to go.

The first time I took the body bag, I was fine, but I was as stiff as a corpse and couldn't move.

This time, the captain patted me on the shoulder: "Take it easy, this thing is basically useless." ”

I must have laughed worse than I cried.

Yes, this thing is basically useless, but once it is used, it means that I can't get out and never go back to this world.

But when I think about you in another world, a thoughtful and empathetic you. Even if you lie in this bag, it's not so scary.

"Only solve the battlefield and die for the country, why should the horse leather shroud be returned. ”

Dry!

2008.5.4

Frequent hallucinations and auditory hallucinations made me wonder if I was really mentally ill.

Being pointed at by others is not pleasant.

Fortunately, the psychiatrist said that I was just lonely.

I understand One Hundred Years of Solitude better now.

Human nature is loneliness, but if I had you, I would be better.

2018.6.1

I took the initiative to go to psychotherapy before.

It's been a few days since I came back from Wenchuan and I'm now undergoing forced psychological treatment.

This is very necessary, I have seen the rain of bullets, and I have seen the blood and flesh, but it is not as tragic as the scene of this earthquake.

The dead are all innocent people, many of whom have not been rescued, blaming themselves and heartache.

This time, I unexpectedly met the little girl with a bubbly nose again. Judging from this contact, she should be just innocent, not ignorant.

She's good when she's quiet, and she's singing well.

Anyway, after meeting her, I realized that I didn't blame her for a long time.

2008.8.26

Dongmei, I seem to be in love again.

It's that little girl with a bubbly nose, will you blame me?

She's more fun than I thought, and I love her a lot now.

I endured it for a long time to tell you, and I don't know whether I should tell you or not.

But I always want your blessing.

2008.10.10

I'm having a fight with my dad again, and I'm about to lose a lover again.

I may have been cursed by God.

2008.12.1

It turns out that it feels so unpleasant to be calculated.

I'm all about murder and arson right now, so come and persuade me.

I won't let him go.

I don't want to stay here anymore.

2009.7.10

Two days ago, I saw off Qiao Lin and Min Jia, and I felt very uncomfortable.

When I left home, they were both little girls, and in the blink of an eye, they had grown into slim big girls.

Not to mention, Jolene has grown up, and she is still beautiful. Min Jia is not to mention, from a small to a good to see big.

I just went to clean up a rat nest and it smelled of ammunition. But it's strange that when I see these two younger sisters, my heart is so soft.

I'll have to clean up more rat nests so that these flowery little sisters can grow up safely.

So, my work is still very meaningful, don't you say?

2009.9.9

I've been dating Huang Jinzi recently, and she's a good friend of yours, so you should be glad about it, right?

It just so happens that my mom likes her too.

This time, I'm going to get married, I'm used to seeing life and death, and I really want to have a home.

Ever since I read Mr. Lao She's "My Ideal Family", that kind of thought has never disappeared.

Dongmei, I'm in a burnout period now, maybe with a family, it will be much better.

2009.10.30

I broke up with Jinzi peacefully, because I owe her too much. She's so good and deserves someone better.

In fact, I felt very uncomfortable, but I didn't know who to talk to.

You should know the estrangement between me and my parents. Jolene doesn't understand anything, she can't make sense at all. The only people I can talk to are you, and my sister.

My sister is preparing for her doctoral defense, and judging from the video, she has lost a lot of weight. As a younger brother, I can't help anything, so I can only do it in a hurry.

If you have a spirit in the sky, bless the golden son too!

She's a good girl, it's just that we're not a good fit.

2010.1.24 (This is the last diary)

After being promoted, I was busy every day. I'm about to take a vacation, but I still have the possibility of going on a long trip, who will let me speak English well?

There is no way, the military situation is important, and I will obey the call at any time.

This time I went out mainly to fight, nothing serious, I can come back in two or three days, don't worry.

Also, I reconciled with the girl with the bubbles in her nose, more details, I'll tell you when I have time.

Dongmei, I'm pretty happy now, you should be happy for me, right?