Love but can't, get but don't love, don't love and get, the world is nothing more than this.

Tan Yi often said that Qiao Xun was my fate.

I thought that everything would go according to order and follow a normal trajectory. However, I forgot that the world has never had a preset navigation route.

Our separation, some unforgettable, and some unexpected. My problem, in the end, God made a cruel decision for me.

Qiao Xun died.

Qiao Xun did die, before I was not sure what kind of feelings I had for him, and died in the second year of our meeting, in the spring when the grass grew and the warbler flew.

I have wondered more than once if I have already gotten too much, whether I shouldn't have even a little bit of greed for Qiao Xun. It is said that the human brain has a self-protection function, and after being violently stimulated, it will subconsciously dust a memory. But for me, I can't think of even the simplest years of quiet and good times with Qiao Xun. The fragments about Qiao Xun left to me by my memory are only met and separated. Is this a kind of protection? What kind of protection is this? I asked Tan Yi. Tan Yi told me that the more beautiful things are, the more painful they are to recall. A person, a bowl of extremely bitter Chinese medicine, if he drinks it until the end, he will not feel bitter due to numbness. When I drink Chinese medicine, I feel the most bitter, but when I just finish drinking it and put the honey in my mouth. A little sweetness, but what awakens the whole taste bud is the feeling of bitterness. Rather than this, it is better to continue to suffer from numbness. At the end of numbness, there is no feeling, there is forgetting, and there is healing.

However, now I only remember that I seem to have a different affection for a person, his name is Qiao Xun.

Qiao Xun died, from an immune system disease, or perhaps it happened to be a virus that inspired this sleeping Grim Reaper. This virus is not seriously harmful to normal people, but what we all don't know is that Qiao Xun has a special genetic defect, his immune system cannot recognize such surface antigens, and cannot produce corresponding antibodies to neutralize this virus. And it's him, it's this virus, it's he who is infected with this virus. As a result, the virus invades normal immune cells, and one by one, the immune cells lyse and die, causing other, more serious infections. A series of chain reactions, round after round of bacterial and viral infections, antibiotics and interferon have long been ineffective. I pleaded with F

iedma

, let him help, on the grounds of the rarity and special research value of this disease, mobilize top experts in this field to participate in research and research, and also worked hard to analyze the protein molecules that can be recognized by the coat of this virus, to modify the glycoprotein on the surface of Qiao Xun's immune cells, in an attempt to make Qiao Xun's immune cells recognize and stop the attack of this virus.

But God gave us too little time, and after only a few months, Qiao Xun's immune system completely collapsed.

After the onset of the disease, Qiao Xun refused to stay in the sterile warehouse. Qiao Xun said to me, Achu, I was originally a superfluous person, I have been fighting against the will of heaven for so long, and now I just want to obey the will of heaven and don't want to struggle meaninglessly.

Immunity, viruses, God seems to have played an incomparably big joke on me, killing the most important people around me in what I do best.

Qiao Xun was sick for a winter. At the end of his life, it was an early spring afternoon. It was a sunny early spring afternoon. At that time, his face had become extremely pale, and he said to me, "Achu, the winter in country M is too cold and gloomy, and I want to see the sun." I pushed him to the window in a wheelchair, and he seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, and turned his head to me with great difficulty and said, Achu, don't cry, forget me, laugh, love, explore, and live well in this world. There seemed to be a faint smile on his face. I carefully put my head on his shoulder, held his hand, and watched the sunlight outside fade and get cold a little, just like the temperature of Qiao Xun's palm. "Qiao Xun, Qiao Xun. I called him, he shouldn't, "The sun has set, let's go back, okay?"

I know that my Qiao Xun, the big boy who is optimistic, will never be able to go back with me again.

Qiao Xun's funeral was very simple, since he fell ill, his parents did not appear. I even felt that all this was just a dream, and Qiao Xun woke up from the dream and came back. F

iedma

Seeing that I was as if my whole soul had been drained, I didn't eat, drink, cry or laugh, and I couldn't help but sigh again and again. He said, Av

il, I'm afraid you're in love with Joe.

I, am I in love with Qiao Xun? I don't know. I just know that Qiao Xun is very important to me, very, very important. Love is different from liking, the word "love" should be a kind of commitment, a kind of dependence, a kind of appreciation and tacit understanding between two hearts. At this point half of the subject of the word has been lost, and we have never spoken of love.

I lived in a dazed state until the third day after the funeral, when a strange middle-aged man found me.