It wasn't a reproach, it was just a concerned consolation, and I saw tears glistening in my mother's eyes. Since my father's death, my whole person has been haggard, and for three years it has been our mother and daughter who have depended on each other, and I am not so much concerned about me as dependent, we are dependent on each other.

Looking at my hurt eyes, my heart trembled, tears welled up, I threw myself into her arms and said desperately, "I'm sorry, Mom, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry." ”

I'm so sorry for my mother, we have become the whole of each other's lives for so long, I never dared to imagine if one day, I lose me, or if I lose me, what else can we do with our lives.

I cried desperately, and used my mother's weak and warm shoulders to wash away all the grievances and the feelings that had just sprouted, and then live again.

The center of my life is my mother, and I am the pillar of my life.

Mom put her arms around me, and although I couldn't understand why my daughter, who had always been strong, was crying over a few reproaches that weren't reproachful at all, I just ran my hand through my hair until I was determined to stop. I wiped away my tears, covered the quilt and said, "Sleep!" before turning around and picking up the empty bowl, turning off the lights and going out.

Because I was determined to forget, I fell asleep quickly, but An Shaoyang's face was still imprinted in my mind.

I was woken up early the next day by a knock on the door, it was Masako's voice, and I quickly came in with a thermos pot.

I was amazed to see that Masako had always been very bed-ridden, and I wouldn't get up until I had to, which is why I always showed up downstairs in my house fifteen minutes before class.

I leaned up and quipped, "Why did the lazy cat get up so early today!"

I glared at me and said, "It's not because of you!" I put the thermos on the low table, poured a bowl of chicken soup and handed it over, "Drink it quickly! ”

I took it and took a sip, it was a little hot, I couldn't help but be a little moved, and when I looked up, I was sitting on the edge of the bed and smiled at me.

I also smiled and said, "Thank you, Miss!"

I glared at me again, "Drink it, or it's going to be cold." ”

I drank it quickly, I filled me another bowl, I drank it again, put down the bowl, licked my lips, and was indeed very energetic, so I stretched out a long lazy posture and joked with me: "It seems that I will be sick often in the future, so that I will be blessed." ”

That was the third time I glared at me that day, and before I could reprimand me, my mother walked in and did the work for me: "You girl, how can you joke about this kind of thing and want to scare me to death?"

"I know it's a joke, and there's nothing to be angry about. "I had to be coquettish to persuade my overworked mother.

Mother handed over a glass of warm water and a few pills, turned to Masako and said, "Thank you so much yesterday, and today I bothered you to come early in the morning." ”

"It's okay, who called Qianqian my good friend!" Masako smiled sweetly, trying to alleviate my mother's sense of indebtedness.

I swallowed the pill and hurriedly interjected, "Actually, Masako has to thank me for helping me get rid of my bad habit of lying in bed." ”

This time it was my mother who glared at me, and Masako bent down and said very pretentiously, "Yes, thank you, Miss Zhuang." ”

Mom shook her head and walked out with a happy smile.

After chatting a few words, Masako got up to leave: "I'm going to class, you have a good rest!" After that, he turned around and walked out, just in time to meet his mother who came in to deliver the washing water.

"Leaving so soon?"

"I'm going to class. Masako smiled, turned around and pointed to the low table and said, "Then there is still half a bottle of chicken soup, I want to drink it at noon and heat it again, and I will come back in the evening." ”

Mom hurriedly said that there was no need to bother anymore, so she sent Masako all the way out.

I slept again in the morning when I was bored, and when I woke up, it was almost noon. I got up and stretched out, feeling much more relaxed, and looked back at the low table to see that the chicken soup that had been left over from the morning was already warmed up and put into the thermos that Masako had brought with me. Mom has gone to the knitting factory to work for the livelihood of our mother and daughter.

I walked to the door and washed away the fatigue of the past two days with the face wash that my mother had prepared a long time ago, and the whole person was much refreshed.

When I got better, I knew that I was hungry, and when I opened the thermos, a strong fragrance came to my face, which immediately made people have a great appetite.

Maybe it was the morning illness that affected my sense of taste, so I didn't have any aftertaste for the two large bowls of chicken soup that I had consumed in the morning, and I really felt that it was a delicious dish that was about to be eaten.

However, the moment the bowl was close to the corner of my mouth, my tears fell into the bowl first, causing a circle of ripples.

When I saw the steaming chicken soup in the bowl, I thought of my mother, and there were a lot of chicken soup drops in the bowl, but my hard-working mother was reluctant to swallow a bite.

Three years ago, I kept the father of the boat engulfed by the flash floods on both sides of the Yangtze River, and I didn't even have the opportunity to see my mother and daughter for the last time. Facing the direction of my father's departure, my mother hugged me and cried for a day and a night, after which I wiped away my tears, guarded the little savings left by my father, and with my dexterous hands, I survived intact and healthy.

In the days without my father, my mother paid for the hardships, and I often spent the night in the dim light for the knitting factory clothes to tie the sleeves, sew buttons, and pull the trouser legs, allowing the sharp steel needles to pierce the ten fingers of my heart, but I only put my fingers close to my mouth and sucked them, and in addition to this, I had to endure the exploitation of the unscrupulous factory owner every once in a while, and withheld the meager living money, and I just endured it. As a woman who has no power, no power, and no one to rely on, what can I do but swallow my anger? Who told me that I lost my husband? Who told me that I needed to live? Who told me that I had a reason not to seek death for relief—my daughter!

I watched my mother rapidly grow haggard and aging under the pressure of such a life, and even though her temples and forehead were marked by wind and frost, her increasingly sunken eyes became more and more resolute.

In such a society, with only one woman's hands, you can imagine how embarrassing our mother and daughter's life is, but my mother pays more attention to my survival, perhaps it is God's sense of my strength and maternal love that has allowed us to survive so far, so that I can meet an enthusiastic mentor and successfully enter a new women's university to study and pursue my dreams.

I am grateful for my mother's strength, it is I who poured the strength of survival into my heart, so that I can face everything in the outside world with a bright smile, but as a daughter, how can I bear to be so dedicated to me?

……

The creaking of the stairs held back the rest of my tears, and there was a knock on the door. I wiped away a handful of tears and went out to open the door, and Masako rushed in and hugged me in a long circle, almost knocking me down. I was shocked, why did I get out of class so early?

After standing firm, I put my arms around me and asked, "Are you completely well? I'm so happy!"

I took me to the bedroom and asked me why I got out of class so early.

Masako fell heavily on my back on the bed that I had not yet made, and said, "In the afternoon, the teacher has something to do, so I will arrange for everyone to go sketching, and I will slip out." ”

My answer surprised me, as far as I know, Masako is the kind of girl who is very well-behaved, and she will never skip class unless she has to.

I fell beside me, leaned over and asked, "Skipping class doesn't seem to be your specialty!"

I didn't look at me, just stared at the ceiling and said, "People care about you!"

I said, "That really touched me." ”

Originally, I was just joking, but I didn't expect Masako to turn over and stare at me seriously and say, "Qianqian, you are my best friend and the only friend in my life, do you understand?"

I was suddenly confused, a little overwhelmed, how could I suddenly say such a thing, and ask such an inexplicable question for me to answer.

I stared at me, forgetting for a moment that I was still waiting for my answer, and then I leaned back and stared at the roof and stopped talking. After a long time, I fell on my back, and suddenly remembered to answer me, and I said, "I know!"

I turned my head to look at me when I didn't respond, and I turned my head to look at me as well, and we looked at each other and smiled and turned our heads to look at each other's ceilings. I remember the dimples on my face that day were beautiful and clear.

That afternoon, we talked a lot of brainless things, talking about the clouds in the sky, talking about our respective families, and our respective moods, I only knew that I kept An Shaoyang for me.

Masako went back after dinner at my house that day, and when I saw me at the door, I was surprised to see that the person who came to pick me up was An Shaoyang.

I hesitated for a second, then smiled generously, "Masako handed it over to you." ”

He gave me a characteristic smile in return: "I'll keep her safe." There was some playfulness in his tone, but I could tell that he was speaking very seriously.

"Why do you call me like some big man, as if someone really wants to assassinate me, a little woman. Masako protested with a smile.

"It was Uncle Yi's boss who asked me to replace him because he had something to do," An Shaoyang explained, "but although you are not a big person, I still want to ensure your safety." He added, looking back at Masako, his flat tone full of irresistible concern.

When I laughed again, I was much calmer, and I said, "Let's play with Masako when I have time, although it's very simple." Of course, this is just a polite remark.

An Shaoyang glanced up at the small attic and said, "It's very good, at least it's a home." ”

Masako waved goodbye to me, and I watched the two people in front of me who had occupied my heart go away, and then took a long breath and went upstairs.

Since I wisely gave up what was not destined to belong to me, I could naturally live calmly and pretend to be easy. Although I have always had a vague feeling that this kind of renunciation is not necessarily a complete relief.

Many things later proved that my idea was right, as a girl, the first person to trigger my feelings was the god I was destined to identify. Like a red candle, once ignited by a little spark, it can't stop burning to release all its enthusiasm, until the wind blows or completely burns out its own life.

The girl's mood is really strange, she is so stubborn that she wants to spend her life watching the thing that she fell in love with at first sight but is not destined to belong to me. For those young girls whose hearts are budding, this kind of watch is a kind of happiness from the depths of the heart, so we would rather forget that it is even more sad.

Because of the desire for romantic feelings, most girls believe in fate, so we are obsessed. But not all women resign themselves to fate, although perhaps we are more obsessed. But I think I still belong to the former, because I am determined to accept whatever God has given me.

I don't know if Uncle Yi really had something to do to let An Shaoyang pick up Yazi, but I found that in the days after that, even when Uncle Yi was fine, An Shaoyang often came to pick up Yazi.

He is not shy about being at the gate of the school, and Masako will not mind greeting him and talking and laughing. Maybe that's the lucky thing about being an upper-class woman, but this lucky person happens to be my best friend. Although it is the person I love who gives me this kind of happiness, what can I say? Bless them! At the same time, I am also very satisfied with the brief relationship with An Shaoyang every day, for me, this may be enough.

Almost all of the classmates are talking about Masako's "boyfriend" intentionally or unintentionally, especially when this handsome and strong man appears, and he can't stop the noisy discussion of the girls, and he doesn't justify their jokes at all, but it doesn't seem to be a tacit acquiescence, I still live a peaceful life, sitting in the window seat and thinking about class.

To be honest, in fact, I have long been used to meeting An Shaoyang at the moment I walked out of the school gate, although he was not waiting for me.

He always reclined on the shiny classic car and stared at the door, waiting for "us" to come out of the moment, then bowed over, opened the door very gentlemanly, and let us get into the car.

He always silently watched the crowd of people, didn't care about the boys' curious looks, and didn't care about the envious eyes of the girls, in the current words, it was a bit "cool", it looked like an innocent big boy waiting for the little girl he liked, and he couldn't see that it was a rough man who was once with blood, and his temperament could completely make people believe that it was a famous son. Besides, he was such a handsome man, and he had inadvertently made the eyes of the little girls who came in and out glow, but we all knew like me that it was just a landscape that could be seen from afar, because it was clear that his spirituality had been enclosed in the territory of a lucky one, and that lucky one was Masako.

In fact, I am quite satisfied with the hurried glance at the school gate every day, although I know that I am an accessory, and only the moment his eyes meet Masako's vision as a background, and it may not leave any impression, I still have no regrets. So I was looking forward to that moment almost every moment, as if all the rest of the day had become dispensable, and I even wished that God could skip most of the day and leave only the happy moment I was looking forward to, as if I lived only for that moment. I think I'm really hopeless, but I can control my words and actions so that they don't overflow, but I can never control my heart. So that day, when I saw Uncle Yi coming out of the car and opening the door for us, I couldn't help but feel lost.

After getting into the car, I stopped talking, and Masako moved to a comfortable position and sat down, so I looked around and asked casually: "Uncle Yi, why didn't he come today?"

"He?" I saw the ambiguous smile on Uncle Yi's face through the mirror, "Who is he?"

"An Shaoyang!" Masako blurted out, not noticing the strong suggestive tone in Uncle Yi's words.

I peeked at Masako, still looking around nonchalantly, and I frowned deeply, surprised at the undetectable sense of calmness and tone in my voice.

I don't understand more and more, do I take it for granted and don't need to hide it, or do I really don't have that feeling of admiration for An Shaoyang?

Uncle Yi smiled helplessly: "The boss took him to Boss Dou's side for a banquet, and it was probably late." ”

On that day, we still came to this street park, according to the usual practice to unfold their own drawing boards, this time Masako selected the scene is a rockery, because of the beginning of spring, there are no flowers, but close to the verdant, so that this dark gray strange stone is more abrupt, there is an awe-inspiring, cold and arrogant momentum.

I'm still trying to figure it out, but I'm almost done with my work, and I'm about to cast a veil of mist over it.

We were almost face-to-face, but we didn't know each other, because we were the same obsession when we were engaged in art.

After a long time, I clicked the last stroke, took a deep breath, and the moment I raised my eyes, my gaze passed through the mist veil of the dream, and captured the figure that fascinated me, and he was standing directly opposite me, behind Masako, silently watching Masako's extremely devoted creation in front of him.

Apparently Masako was too focused to notice that he had been being followed for a long time, his expression was flat, but full of serious tenderness, and his gaze was as sincere and deep as admiring a treasure.

The urge to speak was suppressed by the deep gaze that was out of reach, and it was stuck in my throat, and I could only stare at the person I had been trying to concentrate on with the same sincere but slightly envious gaze. I knew that this was the closest distance I had to him, and I felt a little bitter in my heart, but this gaze made me feel great happiness.

Finally Masako put away her pen and looked up at me, looking at me in confusion.

I smiled at me, "It's so happy to be silently watched by someone who really likes you!" I blurted out casually, and I felt a warm liquid surging in my eyes.

Masako pursed her lips, looked at me puzzled, and then blurted out: "It's also a great happiness to be able to silently look at the person you really like." I could see the seriousness in her eyes, and it was completely emotional.

I raised my eyes to look at An Shaoyang, and Masako noticed the strangeness in my eyes, and turned her head suspiciously, it was An Shaoyang. But I didn't seem to be half surprised, and smiled at him, and he smiled. While they were looking at each other, I wiped away the tears that were about to overflow.

Masako turned around and drew a few more strokes before she began to pack her things, and then the three of them walked side by side to the park gate.

"Didn't you accompany your uncle to the banquet?" I asked.

"I don't worry about you, so I'll come and pick you up first, and I'll go back in a while. An Shaoyang said very heartily.

"We're not children," Masako tugged at the wicker sticks on the side of the road, but let go before they broke, "You don't seem to be normal!" I glanced back at An Shaoyang.

Although An Shaoyang had the same incomprehensible attitude as me about my words, I just wanted to open my mouth to hold grievances for him, but he opened his mouth first: "Are all the people who care about you abnormal?" His tone was light, without the slightest anger but full of tenderness.

I hurriedly nodded in agreement, people came all the way to pick you up, but it was said to be "abnormal", which is too unfair, even if you are not moved, at least say thank you to show your heart!

"You're a man, aren't you?" Masako turned her head and smiled and turned back to my path, kicking a stone under her feet, and said, "As far as I know, you men are all keen on power and money, and regard power and status as more important than anything else. Masako said lightly, with an indifferent smile on the corner of her mouth, which made people unable to see through my thoughts.

An Shaoyang did not argue and continued to follow his path.

I finally couldn't help it, I couldn't stand Masako's stubbornness, which was extremely unfair to An Shaoyang, don't I know what kind of person he is? Shouldn't he be praised for not clinging to the powerful? Don't I know that he ran this trip all for me?

Although I can hear that Masako's words are not aimed at An Shaoyang, but more about my father, who has been rolling in Vanity Fair all his life, and holding grievances for my mother, it is An Shaoyang who is now receiving positive criticism, the almost perfect man in my mind. Although I also deeply sympathize with my Aunt Liu, who has been worried all my life, I still have to say something for An Shaoyang.

"Masako, it's not fair for you to say this, not all men are only keen on fame and fortune, at least An Shaoyang is an exception. ”

I glanced at An Shaoyang with a smile, although I tried my best to keep my tone in an objective position, but Masako still heard something, turned her head to look at the two of us, and smiled at me ambiguously.

I think at that moment my face must have been unstoppably crimson, and I was afraid of being pierced, although I knew that I couldn't hide it.

I was afraid that Masako would say something in front of An Shaoyang, but at the same time, in order to hide my weakness, I timidly said: "What do you see?

"No, you're right, I'm just kidding, what are you nervous about!" Masako's eerie smile made me uneasy again.

"How can I be nervous?" At that moment, even I could hear that my confidence was insufficient, Masako must be more able to understand everything, my only hope at that time was not to make An Shaoyang feel anything unusual, I didn't want him to be embarrassed.

Although I knew that even if he knew my intentions for him, he would not be embarrassed in the slightest, because all he cared about was Masako, and I could not be his bond, but I still cared about his impression of me and how I felt when I faced him.

I think at that time I was really carried away by the budding love, An Shaoyang is such a wise person, how could I always think that he can't see my heart for him, even if I hide it well in words and deeds, but a really keen person can penetrate everything with just a glance.

And I was really ridiculously confused at that point.

We then changed the topic, that is, I was a little puzzled, why didn't An Shaoyang defend himself?

Now I understand his silence.

We didn't know at the time that the reason why he was willing to blend in with this filthy and sinister group was not for fame or profit, but for Masako's sake. He was such a pure man that we could not expect him to tell the world that everything he had done was for the sake of a woman! Although he may not care to tell his heart to the whole world, but he could not let him personally express in front of Masako how great his sacrifice was! The most important thing he had to do was to maintain his image in Masako's mind, just as I did my best to keep it intact in his heart. But he had a better reason than I did to do that, and if what I did was destined to be a pointless struggle, then what he did was a struggle with great promise.

But maybe he didn't think about it or want to protect a beauty that was already in his heart, but I decided that they were destined to be together. Not only because of my parents' orders, but also because of my feminine sixth sense.

After An Shaoyang sent us home that day, he went back to the Dou family's mansion, and the three classic cars there were only the original one of the Dou family's left, and it was obvious that the other two who attended the banquet had left. An Shaoyang parked the car at the gate but did not get out of the car and entered Dou's house, he sat on his back in the driver's seat and waited quietly. He didn't like this state of life, but it was the path he chose, and he had no way back. But the most important thing is that he has no regrets, even if he has nothing left in the end.

Pondering the smiling face of Masako flashed in his mind, he smiled, and then shot a ray of light, the door of Dou's house opened, the wolf dog barked, Uncle Liu walked out accompanied by Boss Dou, An Shaoyang turned over and got out of the car to open the door, and he had already made other uncles with old friends got into the car, and on the way he asked: "Why didn't you go in when you came back?"

"I'm not used to that kind of big scene!" An Shaoyang's face was expressionless, and his uncle shook his head and smiled helplessly.

The earth has regained my full vitality, with the embellishment of flowers, the originally cold world seems a little confused, those colorful flowers trembling in the sun and breeze are as dazzling as the neon at midnight, the old trees that have been baptized by the harsh winter are no longer a few points of yellow than green in March, but are full of branches and eyes that cannot be hidden by the fiery love of dark green. I think this should be the most worthy of examination in Shanghai!

Stained with the warmth of this May, the alley where my house is located has been tightly embraced by the thick green snatched from the abandoned courtyards on both sides, refreshing and soft. The afternoon sun shone on the branches, but it was only a few mottled halos on the stone pavement. There was constant laughter and applause in the alley, and this kind of laughter in such an environment made my leaping and dancing shuttlecock more excited, it swam around me with my will, I gave it vitality with my feet and head, it completely absorbed this power, and took my youth in joy.

I love the feeling, especially in the innocent cheers of this group of children. I can be completely selfless, and put my whole person, my whole soul into that jumping shuttlecock, and enjoy all the joy and applause with it.

When I am with my brush, I can forget the existence of the whole world, and even expel the whole soul from my body, leaving only a blank mind to absorb the spirituality of my chosen facsimile, and then pour it through the brush on a pure white curtain, and my person does not exist at that moment. And when I am with my beloved shuttlecock, I fill my mind with joy and joy, forgetting my worries and not the whole world, and I can truly feel my own sense of existence, which produces countless joys and satisfactions.

I need something to get rid of the mundane and pursue the realm of life, so I won't put down the brush, and I also need another thing to fight against the mundane and impact the sorrow of life, so I have this shuttlecock.

When I held the painting, Masako and I were the same, and it seemed that I was more engaged than I was, I was always surprisingly silent, quiet, and the only thing I didn't understand was why my eyes were not filled with a certain kind of fragile gaze that seemed to be on the verge of breaking out. I don't think it's necessary to have this kind of overflowing emotion in the world of art, but at the same time, because I can't see my own eyes when I mingle with art, I don't dare to say that there must be a difference between myself and me in this regard.

But one thing is clear, there is no shuttlecock like me in Masako's world, except for a person who sways with me on a swing in the garden, he stays alone in the room, I don't know what he does, probably painting! I have always been deeply surprised by my ability to bear loneliness, but I don't think so, I am still used to the world alone.

Masako, this girl really makes me wonder, I'm happy but I don't seem to understand it, I'm happy but I have a different smile, I'm surrounded by countless caring eyes, but I'm looking for a lonely place, I do my best to indulge in laughter, but I can't grasp it at all.

I gently hooked my toes, and the shuttlecock flew over my head as I wished, and I calmly stretched my right foot behind me, but I didn't feel the weight of the two thin pieces of iron on the shuttlecock at the scheduled time.

I was confused for a while, and when I listened carefully, I realized that the atmosphere was not right, and in an instant the group of imps who had just laughed very violently quieted down, and when I looked up, I found that they were all smiling. I lowered my right foot, which was in mid-air, and slowly turned around.

I looked at me with a flattering smile, then took out my shuttlecock from behind my back and held it in front of me with my right hand.

I put my hands together and gave me a helpless expression, looking at my posture, there must be some bad intentions.

The little ghosts around him scattered like birds and beasts, and burst into cheerful laughter.

"How can the eldest lady deign to care about it today? And it's a private visit!" We walked down a street with flower beds on both sides, and since it was just after noon, and there were not many pedestrians, Masako simply stood on the edge of the flowerbed that was only seven or eight centimeters high and less than five centimeters wide, raised her head, and put my shuttlecock on her forehead to "take risks", but only if I took my hand and led the way.

I straightened up and walked up to me, grabbed my right hand, solemnly placed the shuttlecock in my palm, and pulled my fingers one by one to hold it.

I looked at me with kind eyes, and then smiled and said, "I can't take away people's love, I can see that it has a special meaning for you, you can take it, don't easily give away what you like to strangers in the future." ”

I turned around and put away my painting tools, and I wanted to justify: I only want to share happiness with you! I suddenly remembered something, I looked up, I met my gaze, I paused what I was doing, and said, "Happiness is not transferable." Just like your shuttlecock, even if you give it to me, I won't find the same happiness as you in it, because I can't play at all. It would make your sacrifice meaningless, and would you still be happy?"

I continued with my unfinished business, and I was dumbfounded. How wonderful it is that such words came from a girl of my age? Like a philosopher, nay, or more like a poet, he expresses the story of a shuttlecock so aptly and movingly, and tells the mystery of life.

What kind of girl am I? I pondered until I stood in front of me with my picture clip on my back, "I still want to thank you, I have shared your happiness," I held out my hand, "My name is Masako Yanagi, and it is a pleasure to meet you." ”

I hurriedly stretched out my hand and shook it with me and said, "My name is Zhuang Qianqian." "He went back to the classroom with me.

Today we are walking side by side again, and I am reminded of the admonition of Masako Rushi when we first met - happiness cannot be transferred!

That abstract happiness, I unconsciously concretized it into An Shaoyang's face, he is my happiness at the moment, but I don't dare to have it, did I transfer my happiness again?

No, it's me who is amorous, the happiness that comes from An Shaoyang originally belonged to Masako, where did I get the qualifications to be a savior? Now I am the one who can't get happiness but longs for it.

I inadvertently remembered another sentence and blurted out: "Happiness can be shared, right?"

Actually, I was asking myself, but Masako jumped down from the flower bed, jumped in front of me and said, "Yes, as long as you are happy, I will be happy with you, you are my best friend." ”

I snapped back to my senses, and I smiled, with a shallow dimple.

Yes, as long as you are happy, I will be happy. As long as Masako can live happily, I will be happy with me, and I hope An Shaoyang can really bring me happiness.

I pondered for a moment, and Masako tugged at my sleeve, "What's wrong, you?"

I smiled back and said, "Me too." Masako laughed again.

I looked up and looked around, it was a completely unfamiliar street, completely detached from the bustle of Masako's house, and there was a bit of a depression and dilapidation. The houses are low, and there are a few miscellaneous utensils on the street, and there is not even the quiet of my neighborhood.

I wondered, "Where are you going?"

Masako didn't answer, took my hand and walked forward: "You'll know when you get there." ”

We walked through this empty street, turned right into a small alley, walked two steps, Masako stopped, looked up at a door hole in front of us, there was no door, there was a stone screen in front of us, and I couldn't see the scene in the yard at all.

Masako sighed lightly, turned to me with a sense of accomplishment, and said, "This is it!"

"Here?" I don't remember what friends Masako would have in a place like this.

I was not allowed to explore, so I pulled me through the door. Passing around the screen is a cluttered compound: behind the screen there is a well, a wooden bucket is placed next to the well, and there is a pile of unwashed clothes in the large wooden basin. In the northeast corner of the courtyard grew a large banyan tree, with very luxuriant branches and leaves, and a hemp rope was pulled between the lowest branch of the banyan tree and the south wall, on which a few pieces of clothing were scattered and dried. There were two rooms on each side of the east and north sides, and the courtyard was filled with debris except for some gaps leading to these four rooms.

I was even more puzzled by what Masako was trying to do. At this time, the door of the house in the east and west corners opened, and out came an old lady with gray hair, I took a basin of water and splashed it at the foot of the wall, and was about to turn around and go back to the house but found us two "uninvited guests".

"Girl, who are you looking for?" the old lady looked at us for a long time.

Masako greeted him, but he couldn't walk a few steps, because he really had nowhere to put his feet, I said, "Grandma, may I ask An Shaoyang if he lives here?"

Oh my God!

This is his home, no wonder he once scanned my dilapidated attic with that envious gaze.

I seem to have forgotten that he was just a prodigal son, a lonely traveler, but this kind of living environment really hurts my heart.

I can imagine the hardships and hardships he has experienced, how can he be so perfect in my mind and still calmly go through so many hardships?

I even wondered why he didn't change to a better place to live in his current condition.

Oh, by the way, Masako, what is the purpose of my rash visit?

"Who? Who are you looking for?" the old lady seemed to be a little deaf.

"I-" Masako was about to shout out my words when another person barged in, and we all turned around, it was An Shaoyang, who was standing at the entrance as helplessly as me.

"Hey, Xiaoyangzi, you came back just in time, these two girls came to find someone, but they didn't intercede with anyone. The old lady shook her head and went into the house, and closed the door with her hand.

Oh my God, this old lady is too humorous, she is hard of hearing, but she relies on us to speak clearly.

But at that moment, I didn't bother to pay attention to it. I stared at An Shaoyang, fully understanding the anger in his heart at that moment. He must never have imagined that Masako would suddenly appear at the door of his "home" - and such a dilapidated "home". What does this make me think? Although he knew that although she was from a wealthy family, she didn't care about money and material scarcity, but he couldn't let go, and all her self-esteem seemed to be torn to pieces in an instant.

Although he can not hide his background in front of others, after all, listening and watching are two different things, especially when he is seen by his beloved girl, which a man with strong self-esteem can never bear, let alone her friends.

He was able to suppress his anger, but he showed a slightly embarrassed expression, but Masako seemed unimpressed, and I approached him and said, "Xiaoyoko, this old lady is so funny!" I couldn't help but chuckle.

An Shaoyang's face flashed a little uncomfortable red, but then calmed down: "People in their 80s, some ears, why are you here?"

He tried to convince himself not to lose his temper, to restrain the anger of a serious frustration in his pride, but he should rejoice, shouldn't he?

He tried to use this reason to make himself forget the annoyance of "being ugly", but at this moment he could not do it, he was extremely angry, almost to the point of losing his mind, he was angry with himself rather than angry at my rash visit, knowing that there would be a day when he should have changed his place of residence.

His eyes were full of hurt expressions, but he tried not to let it be exposed, and I felt a sense of pity and fear, for fear that he would explode, and that his despair would be too much for me to bear.