He put down his mobile phone, untied his schoolbag, stood up, walked in front of Jiang Nanchu, and before Jiang Nanchu could react, he knelt down, landed on his right knee, and held Nanchu's hand with both hands. For this boy, it was the last time he held the hand of the girl he had been in love with for thirteen years, and they would probably never see each other again, and he would never have the opportunity to shake her hand as unscrupulously as he did today.

"What are you doing, you get up. Nan Chu wanted this fool to stand up.

"You sit down, there are some words, some things, I didn't say last time, and I won't have the opportunity to say them in the future. Maybe when I see you again, you'll be the first to be. ”

"This is the proposal I had in mind three years ago before I confessed to you. Of course, the person who will stay with you for the rest of your life in the future will definitely not be me. ”

"I've thought about what I thought about when you proposed, what our wedding ceremony would look like, and what life we'd have since gotten married. I thought about the situation when we had children and we held them. What a picture that would be. ”

"I'm so happy and I don't regret having a girl I've loved for so long over the years. And, if I had been a freshman in high school, when I was at my hardest, I wouldn't have made it through if I hadn't thought we'd be together. You were the one who made me a better person, although, as I later found out, it was purely because I was thinking too much. ”

"Countless times I have dreamed in my dreams that when you stepped into the church, people scattered flowers and cheered for you, but I was not happy at all, because I was not the man who put the ring on you. But I didn't feel sad in my dream, I was just watching you kiss, and my heart was numb to death. It's just that I am outside the dream, and every time I wake up, my heart hurts terribly. ”

"There is no one who belongs to whom, and there is no one who is who. But how I really wished you were my wife. The man who put the ring on you is me, not anyone else. ”

"I love you. After a long time, Fu Zekai slowly said these words.

"These words are what I owe you three years ago, and I owe it to myself. Now, I owe myself this action, or this ritual, to myself. I don't want to, because I didn't do these things for you now, and when I get old, I will regret it for the rest of my life. ”

At this time, can you cooperate?!

Sure enough, if you don't exercise, you can't do it

Fu Zekai's right leg nerve began to twitch.

That's it, I've said everything I should have said, I've said everything I shouldn't have said, and I've done everything I shouldn't have done. For the rest, even if I am unwilling, I won't have too many regrets.

He stood up.

"I think I'm thinking too much. I signed a □□ to give you a thumbs up, and I liked it in the circle of friends, but I just clicked it casually, and I didn't think about anything myself, just a simple social activity. I don't know you'll think so much. The girl spoke.

"I was able to turn you down three years ago because I decided to repeat it, and I didn't want anything to interfere with me. But when you said that last Sunday, I really didn't know what to say. ”

"I hope that in the future, you will have a good relationship and stop using other girls as my replacement. ”

At that moment, the boy didn't look at her, almost all looked at her, and when the girl said these words, the boy's eyes also looked into the distance, and he looked at it for a long time, which was complicated and indescribable.

"Now that I've made my attitude clear, are we still friends?"

"I'll just get up, say goodbye, and get out of here. Never see you again. ”

"Kidding you. How could I be such a stingy person?"

How could it not. I've always been like a dead kid when I'm facing you, and if someone robs me, I'm going to fight with them.

I hate the way I am now, facing the girl I love is in trouble, but there is nothing I can do to help her out of the situation, I can only accompany her to do anxiously. If only I were the rich kid in those novels, or if there were rich kids among her admirers. With a wave of her hand, dozens of millions of dollars went into her account, and many excellent oncologists were on call, ready to prove that they were the most outstanding among their domestic counterparts. I really can't do it, so I sent a special plane to send my future father-in-law abroad to find the best oncologist in the world to treat him. If those experts lose their temper, then they have to put down their faces and beg them for the sake of their beloved girls, but it is really not good, and they have to be tied up.

But I'm not, I can only comfort her a few words, tell her that she only needs to do what she needs to do, and then accompany her to be silent, and then, what else can I do?

"I'm leaving. ”

"Then, I'll give you this bamboo flute back. Nan Chu handed over the gift box.

"You can keep it. ”

"But I really can't. I have no reason to accept your gift. ”

"Keep it. This is the gift I promised you. ”

"Let's go, goodbye. ”

"Be careful, then. ”

Fu Zekai didn't answer, and he didn't even look back. He knew very well that he would not look back at the girl he had loved for thirteen years. Perhaps, from now on, they will be in their own places, and there will be no contact with each other, whether they meet or chat.

If one day, I completely disappear from your world, will you weep bitterly and be sad and unable to help yourself?

If one day, I disappear from your world completely, will you go crazy looking for me wherever I may have been?

If one day, I completely disappear from your world, will you trace every back that resembles me, just to confirm that it is not me?

If one day, I completely disappear from your world, will you go to the place where we once briefly met and then hurriedly parted, and pick up the few memories we have?

I don't think you will, because I'm not the most important person in your life, and I'm not the indispensable person in your life that will be with you for the rest of your life.

But I want to tell you.

If one day you are gone, and you disappear from my world, I will weep bitterly and be sad and uncontrollable, I will go to places where you may have been and look for you like crazy, I will trace every back that resembles yours just to make sure that it is you, I will go to the places where we once briefly met and then hastily parted, and pick up the few memories we have.

Because, I love you.

But I really hope that's in the past. From then on, you have your life, I have my life, our life is like a short distance of parallel lines, you can see it, but there is no intersection point.

I just want to get myself drunk and forget everything.

"You're so hard to understand. Lin Ming said.

"yes, I think I'm hard to understand. Fu Zekai thought for a long time before replying to him.

"Tired?"

"Well, I just want to go back to my dorm room and get some sleep. Perhaps, when I wake up, I am the same person I was a week ago. ”

"You continue to be tormented by those nightmares?"

Fu Zekai did not reply to him.

"Master, are you okay?" Zhou Yu asked him.

"It's okay, I just really want to sleep. ”

"Master, I understand your feelings. But I'm really touched, thirteen years of secret love, from the beginning. ”

"Come on, sir, I'm sure you can really find the one who loves you. ”

"Do you want to say my dad or my mom?"

I want to sleep, but my heart is really messy and messy.

In my head, I still think of her appearance uncontrollably.

Big guy, can you stop thinking about her?

I know she's good, she's good, and I know it's all on me.

I'm useless, I'm a piece of waste.

But, please.

I just want to sleep, I don't give myself nostalgia for the past in bed.

The more I don't want to think of her, the more I think of her.

The more annoyed the heart is, the more annoyed the more I want to turn over, the more I turn over, the more my heart still can't calm down, the more annoyed I become, and the more annoyed I can't calm down and sleep. It's all about her.

Forget it, don't sleep.

It's better to come down and review risk management, and I'll have an exam the day after tomorrow. I don't want to hang up this subject, Chen Dashen is really terrible.

But.

Even if you pick up a book and want to review, what can you do?

My heart is still unkempt, so messy that I can't even read the review handouts.

She hasn't replied to me since I left her school.

I'll please, it's good for you to say a word to me, even a word.

But I really don't want you to talk to me, because I don't know how I should respond to your words, haha, I don't care anymore or haha, anyway, you just take care of yourself, don't worry about me.

Fu Zekai, you waste is really stupid!

Okay, let's give up and talk about it tomorrow.

Tonight, I just want to get myself drunk for one night. Drunk enough, it's fine.

"Help me go to the supermarket and buy a few cans of beer back. "Fu Zekai, please Yucheng.

"Is three cans enough?"

"Enough, not enough, enough. ”

Fu Zekai moved the chair out of the balcony and sat down.

There was no moonlight, the night was very dark, and there were not even a few stars to be found.

It's sad, myself.

I can't cry when I want to, and I don't know how to cry.

Believing in the morning is fruitless, why should I believe that there will be a possibility of being together.

It may be because I have been in the darkness of despair for a long time and have become numb. When she threw a glimmer of hope, she thought that there was really a possibility to go out, so she caught the light.

If I hadn't promised her at the time, wouldn't I have these things today, and now my heart is really sinking to the point that I don't know how to describe it.

Isn't it good to be friends, even if it's just a general acquaintance.

I don't want to be low, I don't want to be so negative, but seriously, there will be despair when there is hope. I didn't have hope when I said those words, so it will be easy to say it. Now, it seems that we are really going to separate, and it will not be possible to be together, or even see each other again.

Suddenly, I wanted to leave here, go far, far away, and then come back after years or even more than ten years.

Why don't you go to graduate school?

Anyway, if you succeed in the graduate school entrance examination, you will have to study for several years. Perhaps, by that time she will be married, and if she knows it from afar, her heart will die, and she will no longer have any hope.

Moreover, I didn't really decide to be a game designer until May of this semester anyway, and I started halfway, my foundation is very thin, and I don't want to rely only on my own experience in playing games to support myself, so I have to have enough professionalism. Since I've decided to be a game designer, I don't want to be the first in my peers, but I want everyone to know my name. Otherwise, all the effort is meaningless.

In this case, I will take the postgraduate examination, for myself, for the sake of not wanting to see her again, choose a place to study farther away.

Let's take the postgraduate examination of Communication University of China, and graduate students are recruited for the major of interactive art and technology.

"You also want to take the graduate school entrance examination?" Lin Ming asked.

"Hmm. I want to go to the middle school to take the postgraduate examination. If I hadn't been admitted, I would have scolded myself for being insane and wasting so much money when I think about it in the future. ”

"Have you figured it out, the graduate school entrance examination is not a child's play. You've really decided to take the test. ”

"I figured it out, I don't want to be a game designer based on my experience alone. ”

Sunday the 25th.

Maybe it was the effect of the alcohol left over from the night before, Fu Zekai's head was heavy all day, and he got out of bed and read the book on risk management for a while, but he still couldn't read it. The desire to sleep caused by grogginess overcame the need to revise at least on this day.

He chose to go to bed and continue to sleep, putting the revision time in the evening. Before going to bed, he deleted her from WeChat QQ, then covered the sheet and went to sleep.

No matter, so be it.

Number 26.

In the afternoon, risk management exam.

The heart twitched a few times faster for no reason, and the mind involuntarily thought of what she looked like.

What the hell a

e you doi

g？

Let me finish the exam, can you do it again, and then you can miss the whole Tuesday with you? I really don't want to hang on the subject of risk management, which is a subject that kills people.

If, my decision yesterday was wrong, then I will add back to her WeChat, QQ is rarely used, forget it.

Add to Contacts

Fu Zekai clicked to confirm.

That's it, don't you have to send a friend request?

"No, as long as the other party doesn't delete you, your friend application will be automatically approved, and the other party won't find out. Lin Ming explained.

"That means that as long as she doesn't talk to me, she won't know if I've deleted her. ”

"Yes, but you don't have to be so stingy. ”

"Right now, my mind is still very messy, and if I can calm down by doing this, I don't mind giving it a try. ”

"Alas, it's really sad with affection. ”

"I just want to know, when I left you and didn't look back at you that day, did you ever have even a trace of loss in your heart, knowing that I didn't want to see you again in this life?"

"I used to think that one day, I would get down on one knee, take your hand, and beg my heart to marry the most beautiful girl in the world to marry me. ”

"I have a story, and I just want to beg for a pot of wine to drink, and I can forget the story after drinking. ”

"It doesn't matter, anyway, I've just lived in a lie woven by myself for more than ten years. ”

"Let's just think I had a six-day dream last week, and when I woke up, I came back to reality. ”

Fu Zekai sent a few secrets in a row in the space, and set his space to be seen by everyone.

I just want to know if you really didn't like me at all.

I don't want you to lie, or you'll regret it later for not saying that you ever liked me.

Number 27.

Forget it, let's delete it. We won't be chatting again anyway.

Do you want to add it back? She wouldn't find out anyway.

It's better to delete it, I don't know how to face her in the future.

It's better to add it back, there is no need to be so stingy.

Delete it, I'm really annoyed now, and I really don't want to have the possibility of chatting with her.

However, there is no need to get along with her, maybe people don't want to think about their own situation at all now.

Why did she change her avatar?

Fu Zekai realized that her avatar had been replaced by a straight road, and the wheat fields on both sides were endless.

The back of WeChat's photo album has also been changed, with icebergs in the distance, flowers in the distance, and a road winding into the distance.

It looks like you want to travel to a distant place.

I told her that I wanted to travel to a distant place to give everyone a deeper chance to get to know each other.

Has she changed her mind?

Is there any hope for me?

But why didn't she say it?

It's still deleted, and my heart is really tired and heavy.

Block it.

To be honest, this Tuesday when I had nothing to do, I deleted and added it so much, and it was really good to make myself a psychopath.

Forget it, the next three exams are important, don't think about this problem for now. Be sad and think about it until I finish the exam.

29th, evening.

"I'd like to talk to you, as Jiang Nanchu's cousin, and as an idiot who likes to remember the past. Fu Zekai asked Zhou Yu.

"Well, okay, I'll listen. ”

"I'm wondering, is the reason why I'm going to graduate school is to avoid your cousin?"

"Uh, where is the test?/Frightened/Frightened/Frightened"

"By then, maybe your cousin will get married, and then my heart will really die. Fu Zekai added.

Beijing, Communication University of China. ”

"Probably not, come on. Do it if you want to, there may really be dodging. However, do what you want to do. ”

"If it's just to never have the chance to see your cousin again, then going to graduate school is just a means. ”

"Time, really, I think time can really change many, many more, many. Zhou Yu said.

"yes, it took me three years to forget about your cousin, and then I found that I was sinking deeper. ”

"It's okay to die, for me, I thought Xian Baiqiang was with her during that time. That's why I had the courage to try to forget about her, and it wasn't until later that I didn't know there was. ”

"/swearing/swearing/swearing"

"You're insane"

"Fool"

"Why do you want to?"

"Not worth it"

"Why care about someone who doesn't care about themselves"

"You have your life, she has her wonderful!"

"All love with excuses is mixed with impurities, since it is no longer simple, it will not last long if it is owned!

Zhou Yu suddenly broke out and scolded him.

"All you thought you couldn't let go, but after a few years, you would really laugh at yourself, you were nervous at the beginning!" Zhou Yu added.

After a long silence, Fu Zekai replied.

"Ginger, after so long, I finally heard you tell the truth"

"You used to be comforting me"

"But I don't want to hear those words, they say too much"

"I just want someone to scold me for being cheap, and I've spent more than ten years caring about someone who can't care about me at all"

"I just wish that someone would come up and scold me, 'You're so stupid and shit,' that's all. ”

"After so long, you are the only one who can scold me like this."

"Jiang, after so many days, it can even be said that after so many years, I finally waited for someone to stand up and scold me for being stupid and scolding me for being cheap, why should I care about a person who doesn't care about me at all. Fu Zekai took a screenshot of Zhou Yu's words scolding him and posted it to Moments.

"She told me about what happened between you. "After a long time without contact, Eun Ping reappeared.

"She said, you're not her type. ”

"I know, she told me a long time ago. I was okay with that, but if there was no hope a week ago, I wouldn't have had so much despair before. ”

"Gorilla, since she doesn't like you, don't be too obsessed. ”

"You and she are friends I've known for more than ten years, and I really don't want to lose one of you. ”

"Please tell me, I feel that Jiang I have loved her for more than ten years, if I didn't have her, I wouldn't have been able to survive some difficult years, maybe I would have collapsed halfway, and I wouldn't be where I am now. If it weren't for the fact that I loved her, I wouldn't have been motivated to be a better person and want to give her happiness. But I seem to be wrong, these things are not good enough for me to do, and then it will make her feel it. ”

"Gorilla, I have seen the secret you sent in the space, and I also showed it to her, and she said that she felt guilty after reading it, knowing that you have done a lot for her, but she can't give you anything. So, gorilla, it's time for you to let go, it's time to really move on. ”

"Yes, I also wish I had the courage to leave her and be myself. However, there are a few more words, please tell me that I have thought about who to listen to when we have a child to name the child, or to give birth to a boy and a girl and let them play. Now, all of this is waiting for her M

. Right to finish, I hope she can find her own happiness. If that day comes, I will still bless her. ”

On the 30th, it was more than 4 o'clock in the morning.

Fu Zekai opened his eyes, he had been dreaming for a long time, but this time it was rare that he didn't dream.

The heart is finally not so bad, and it is much calmer.

But it's still a bit messy.

Fu Zekai thought about it, but decided to write a diary on the □□, "In the Blink of an Eye, Thirteen Years".

"Actually, since I came back from Foshan last Saturday, I haven't been emotionally stable, I've done a lot of things, and then quickly denied them.

As I said in my last post, I've been tired of caring about someone who doesn't care about me for too long.

To put it simply, it is to have a crush on a girl for thirteen years, and in the end they still haven't been able to get together. Because we are not people of the same world.

…………”

Eun Ping finally sent a message, which was a screenshot of chatting with her.

"I read his journal and I know what he did for me, but I'm really sorry I didn't give him the affection he wanted. To be honest, I feel guilty in my heart, I don't want to live up to him, I've been doing this for me. I really don't want to lose him as a friend. If he still sees me as a good friend, then I will treat him as a good friend too. ”

"I see. After a minute or two of silence, Fu Zekai replied.