Standing outside the door of He Yiyang's house after a long absence, my feelings are extremely complicated, a month ago I told myself that it was the last time I appeared here, but now standing here again I don't feel ridiculous at all, my heart is full of guilt.

I held my breath, nervous all over my body, raised my hand and knocked on the door that was all too familiar. It was a long time before I heard a faint movement inside the door.

I heard the door lock "click" and the door opened. As the door slowly opened, the face that had appeared in my dreams countless times slowly appeared in front of me.

I saw He Yiyang looking ahead with dull eyes, and his face was calm and he was listening to the sound outside the door with his ears sideways. And the moment I saw He Yiyang, my tears immediately broke the embankment, and I covered my mouth with one hand and couldn't say anything.

He Yiyang probably didn't hear anyone talking, so he cautiously stretched out his hand and leaned out with his ears sideways. I finally couldn't help but reach out and grab He Yiyang's hand that was about to reach out in front of me.

"Yiyang. I whispered the name again, crying.

After hearing my voice, He Yiyang's hand shook violently in an instant, and he quickly withdrew it, and then leaned back with his hands and quickly retreated against the wall.

"Yiyang. I followed him and closed the door and went in and stood in front of him.

He Yiyang was like a frightened child, leaning his neck against the wall, twisting his face and lowering his eyes slightly, as if trying to hide his eyes that he couldn't see.

Heartache and heartache, these two words are the best description of my mood at this moment.

I let the tears continue to pour down my face, and through the blurred curtain of tears, I couldn't help but raise my hand and slowly move closer to his cheek.

Just as my hand was about to touch his face, He Yiyang suddenly raised his hand and slammed my hand to the side, stood up and frowned slightly and said coldly to me, "What are you doing here?"

"Yiyang. "I was stunned by his sudden move.

Before He Yiyang could react, he had already started to sign again: "Don't call me like that again, I feel very uncomfortable to hear." We've broken up, and now you're you and I'm me, please don't appear in front of me again. I don't want to see you again or hear your voice again, so please get out of here now. ”

He Yiyang finished expressing these words almost in one go, and then without warning, he suddenly raised his hand and groped towards me.

I didn't know what he was trying to do for a while, thinking he was trying to get out of here but got lost, so I reached out to help him, but the moment he touched me, he pushed me unsuspectingly towards the door.

He was obviously not able to see it, but he was so prepared to find the location of the door, and quickly felt the doorknob to push it open and pushed me out.

"Yiyang, Yiyang. I shouted his name and stopped him from closing the door, but he still grabbed my arm to prevent me from approaching him, and finally pushed me out to close the door.

Locked out, I was left with nothing but anxiety.

I continued to knock on the door while crying to He Yiyang inside: "Yiyang, I'm sorry, Yingying and Lao Qi told me everything." I know I'm wrong, it's me who is bad. I shouldn't have asked you so easily to break up.

I really know it's wrong, don't do this, open the door and let's have a good talk, okay? You're like this, I'm really worried about you. Please, will you let me in?"

But no matter how much I pleaded, He Yiyang never opened the door again.

But I'm definitely not going to leave him easily this time, I'm going to guard him, and no matter what he thinks, I'm not going to give him another chance to push me away from him.

He Yiyang didn't open the door for me again this night, I sat outside the door by the door all night, even through the door panel, as long as I knew that others were inside, I was at ease.

Early the next morning, I went to buy him breakfast and put it at the door, afraid that he would not open the door and take it in, so I explained it to him loudly outside the door and left first.

After leaving, I didn't go home, but went directly to Yingying's house, and I was eager to know how He Yiyang had been doing for the past month.

Because although I only met He Yiyang in a hurry, I still found that He Yiyang's condition was not good, and he was so thin that he was almost skinny.

When I arrived at Yingying's house, it was only about eight o'clock in the morning, I thought that the two of them were still sleeping on the weekend, but I didn't expect that just after ringing the doorbell twice, Yingying opened the door for me in good spirits.

"Quietly, you're here. Ying Ying opened the door and didn't seem surprised to see me, as if she had expected me to come and had been waiting for me for a long time.

But I didn't have the heart to find out if they were really waiting for me, so I just grabbed Yingying and went into the house first.

Lao Qi was eating breakfast at the dining table, and when he saw me, he lazily said to me: "Yo, it's good." Then he continued to bow his head and eat again.

I knew that Lao Qi was still having trouble with me because of He Yiyang's affairs, so I didn't pay much attention to him and pulled Ying Ying directly to sit on the sofa.

"Yingying, I want to know what happened to He Yiyang's eyes, when did he become like this, why did he become like this, how did he spend this time, how did he eat, how did he go out, how did he take care of himself?"

There's so much I want to know, but that's all I can think of for the time being.

Ying Ying was about to talk to me, but Lao Qi on the side suddenly interjected again: "Yo, now that I think about it, why did I go earlier?"

"Lao Qi, don't be so yin and yang, okay?" Lao Qi was like this, I finally couldn't help but want to say a few words to him.

"Quietly, ignore him. He's like that, and you don't know it. Ying Ying stopped the war of words between me and Lao Qi in time, but she didn't answer my question immediately, but first cared: "Jingjing, you haven't eaten in the morning, do you?

I don't have any intention to eat, but I think about whether Lao Qi is about to eat and Yingying hasn't finished eating yet, I won't disturb people to eat breakfast when I come in this hurry.

"I'm not hungry, Yingying, haven't you finished eating? "Although I was anxious, I still tried to suppress my anxiety.

"It's okay, I've eaten pretty much too. "Whether Ying Ying is polite or true, count me selfish, this is exactly what I want to hear.

"Then He Yiyang ....... "I reminded Yingying again in a hurry."

Ying Ying curled the corners of her mouth at me at this time and sighed, then took my hand and said, "The doctor said that He Yiyang's eyes were blinded by a blood clot formed by intracranial hemorrhage that compressed the optic nerve due to a car accident hitting his head. ”

"Did the doctor say he still had any hope of regaining his sight?" I asked.

I saw Ying Ying shaking her head sadly and said, "The doctor said that the location where the blood clot was pressed is too dangerous, and the risk of surgery is too great, which may make He Yiyang a vegetative person, so he can only resign himself to fate."

If he is lucky, the blood clot may also disappear or shift its location on its own, so that his optic nerve is not compressed and can be seen naturally. ”

"So it's possible that he'll never see anything again?"

"Jingjing, don't be so pessimistic, maybe there are two other possibilities. ”

I knew Ying Ying was comforting me, but this was what I was trying to comfort myself.

"So, when did he become like this? I remember, I remember that he could still see it when he came back that night. ”

"Jingjing, as far as I know, He Yiyang was called an ambulance and taken to the hospital the night he returned. According to the doctor, the person who sent him there said that when he passed by the gate of the cultural park at about 10 o'clock in the evening, he found that he had fainted at the cultural gate and quickly called 120. Ying Ying said to me as she thought about it.

Around ten o'clock in the evening of the day I returned, that is, he fainted shortly after I left, and I had not noticed his abnormality until then, and I had not noticed him fainting even after that.

Self-blame and regret kept hitting my heart, so that the pain instantly spread to every nerve end, and my whole body hurt with it.

"So, what about later?" I couldn't control my choking.

"Then we got a call from the hospital and rushed there. He Yiyang was in a coma in the hospital for two more days, and when he woke up, he couldn't see anything. ”

"Why didn't the hospital call me, I remember that the emergency contacts in his phone were my number. "What I'm struggling with is not whether He Yiyang's mobile phone has my phone number, but why I wasn't the first to know that he was hospitalized.

The nurse who called said that He Yiyang's mobile phone had long been out of battery, and they found that the phone had a screen lock after charging it, so there was no way to find the contact from the phone.

Fortunately, a nurse immediately recognized him as a well-known painter after seeing He Yiyang's ID card, and then found his information from the Internet, found Liuli Jingshi, and found Lao Qi's phone number. ”

"Then he, when he knows he can't see, isn't he very devastated?" I felt like I was about to collapse at the moment when I mentioned the collapse.

"Yes, in the first few days after he was discharged from the hospital, he locked himself in his room almost every day without eating or drinking. Lao Qi and I didn't open the door no matter how much we called, and we didn't listen to any persuasion.

Fortunately, after a few days or two, he probably accepted it himself, and then opened the door to let us in, and began to eat slowly.

It's just that I really didn't see his stubbornness before, and at first he accepted the food we ordered for him, but then he didn't let us send it, so he had to cook it himself.

We were worried that he wouldn't be able to eat, so we ordered another takeout for him, but we didn't expect the takeaway brother to be kicked out by him directly. We had no choice but to cling to him.

Later, when we went to see him, we found that he didn't know when and how he did it, so he bought two large boxes of instant noodles and put them there. Lao Qi and I thought he couldn't eat instant noodles all the time, so we sent him some fresh fruits and vegetables every once in a while.

However, he seems to eat very little of the fruits he was sent, let alone vegetables. We also know that he can't see how to cook, and it's understandable that the vegetables don't move, so we just bought him some vegetables that he can eat directly, such as tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, etc., which can also supplement a little bit of nutrition.

But when we went there yesterday, we saw that he still only eats instant noodles, and the vegetables and fruits still haven't touched much. Jingjing, we feel that he is pitiful not only because we see him eating instant noodles every day, but also, alas......" Yingying sighed again, "I don't know if you have noticed that his hands are either red or blistered." He's really ......... alone."

He Yiyang's inner monologue

Quietly, I don't want you to know what Yingying said......