When I used to be a teacher, I could also do some things I liked, such as being able to teach different students how to behave and how to grow, and watching the children make progress makes me happy.

But now, every day is a boring job, I am so bored, and every day is exactly the same, just go there and sit in front of the computer, work, check the materials. And all sorts of broken things.

When I'm busy, I take my camera and take pictures.

When I think about this, I thought, this can only be regarded as a lonely job, and I can't continue to do it here, because it is too hard.

The main reason is that the salary is also very low, and the current consumption level is so high, and my monthly salary is only more than 2,000 yuan, what is enough?

What kind of life is it like to work there for less than 100 yuan a day? And now every time I go to the supermarket with Xiaoxue, just buying something to eat for my children, 100 yuan can't stop it, and I haven't bought anything for nothing.

The standard of living is so high, the salary is so low, and I am still renting someone else's house with Xiaoxue, and I basically have nothing left except for rent and living expenses every month.

Once Xiaoxue saw a very beautiful dress and said to me, "Mom, that dress is so beautiful." "It's really very beautiful, it's the kind of white gauze skirt, like a little princess, Xiaoxue wears it, it's also very beautiful, the child likes this kind of skirt, she turns around in front of the mirror, the child is happy, and his face is red with a smile.

Then she told me that Xiaomei in their class had the same dress, and I was very happy for the child, but I was stunned when I saw the price, a small skirt cost more than 600, more than 600, what kind of concept is it? More than 600, which is equivalent to my rent for a month.

Finally, I thought about it and said to Xiaoxue, "Xiaoxue, my mother can't afford to buy this dress now, so can my mother buy it for you when she has the money in the future?" I comforted my daughter.

Xiaoxue cried when she heard it, "Mom, I want it," she said loudly.

"Xiaoxue is obedient and obedient. "Seeing her so arrogant and unreasonable, I really can't help it, children must be educated, otherwise they won't understand the reason when they grow up.

Xiaoxue said to me with tears in her eyes, "Mom, do you know, my tablemate Xiaomei has exactly the same dress, do you know, she shows off in front of me every day, saying that I wear dirt and torn, and she wears beautifully, like a flower and butterfly." "I'm really sad in my heart.

"But Xiaoxue, you have to understand our family situation, my mother just can't afford it, we could have paid the rent with this money, but now we can buy you clothes and there is nothing. Xiaoxue just ignored and said, "Mom, I want me", looking at her disobedient appearance, I was angry.

slapped her, just patted her on the back, but I didn't expect Xiaoxue to stop crying and make trouble, that is, her eyes were dumbfounded.

Seeing my daughter like this, I was very distressed.

"Xiaoxue's mother really doesn't have the ability to forgive her mother, mother, I'm sorry for you, in the future, my mother will earn money to buy you a lot of beautiful clothes, okay?" I said distressedly.

Xiaoxue's eyes were full of anger and resentment when she looked at me, and she couldn't listen to what I said.

I only blamed myself silently in my heart, no matter what, I shouldn't have hit the child!

Especially I didn't expect my child to be discriminated against in school, discriminated against by children, and bullied by teachers.

What kind of world is this, I really can't help it, I said to Xiaoxue, "Xiaoxue's mother tells you a truth, although we are very poor now, but we are not humble, we are not inferior, we are really not inferior to others, you have to understand this truth, okay?"

Xiaoxue just followed me silently, and when I returned home in the evening, I made a delicious pork rib soup for the child, her favorite pork rib soup.

I wanted Xiaoxue to be happy, but I didn't expect Xiaoxue to just take two sips and say to me, "Mom, I'm full, and then I went into my own house."

"Xiaoxue, let's drink a little, how can your body stand it if you don't drink it when you're growing your body now?" I said.

Xiaoxue, she just didn't say anything in the house, the house was quiet.

I can now quietly think that it is really not good for children for me to take care of children like this alone.

I didn't expect Xiaoxue to have a fever again the next day, now Xiaoxue is lying here quietly for infusion, I think of the child's favorite sugar fried chestnuts, I hurry up to buy some for the child, although I can't satisfy her with beautiful clothes, but I can still do it by buying some delicious food, after all, I love my child.

I went outside to buy some hairy chestnuts and Xiaoxue's favorite chocolate, hoping that the child would wake up and eat these good things and feel happy.

Xiaoxue finally woke up, and her liquid was lost.

Because I wasn't here today, I didn't see her when she got the injection.

I know Xiaoxue, she is a child who is particularly afraid of pain, and when she was a child, she had to cry when she was vaccinated, but today I am not by her side, I didn't expect her to be so brave.

These are all things that her teacher told me, and her teacher told me that Xiaoxue didn't cry at all when she was injected and took medicine, and the nurses thought that this child was very amazing.

"Xiaoxue, what do you see your mother bought you?" When Xiaoxue opened her eyes, I handed her the chocolate I bought for him.

Xiaoxue didn't look at it, her eyes were full of exhaustion.

"Xiaoxue, Xiaoxue, don't you like what your mother bought you?" I asked.

Xiaoxue shook her head and didn't speak, looking at the child like this, I was very worried.

When it was time for dinner, I went to buy some porridge for Xiaoxue, she was sick at this time, so it was better to digest some porridge, but when I brought the warm porridge to Xiaoxue, she didn't eat a bite.

"Xiaoxue, mom added sugar to the porridge, aren't you drinking sweet porridge?"

God, she doesn't have any communication with me now. What the hell is wrong with the child? My mind was full of thoughts, but she wouldn't answer when I asked her anything.

"Xiaoxue, your teacher just said that you are very brave," I complimented her.

Xiaoxue didn't say anything, just looked at me.

"Xiaoxue, I didn't cry when I got the needle just now, I'm really strong, my mother is very happy to see you grow up" Usually as long as I step into Xiaoxue, she will be very happy and say, "Mom, you give me a thumbs up." ”

But today I was really worried about her expression.

Is there any kind of trauma to the child's heart?

"Xiaoxue, what's wrong with you?" I asked over and over again, but she still didn't say anything and didn't answer me. I'm in a hurry here, what should I do? Why don't I ask the teacher what's wrong with the child?

"Hello, I'm Xiaoxue's mother,"

"You're Xiaoxue's mother. How is Xiaoxue now?" asked Xiaoxue's homeroom teacher with concern.

"Xiaoxue is awake now, there is basically no problem with her body, and the only thing now is that the child gets up and doesn't talk to me. I said worriedly.

The head teacher said strangely, "How is it possible, Xiaoxue is usually a very lively child, but these days are a little abnormal, usually in class always actively answer questions, but in the past two days, every time I asked her to stand up, she always looked out the window and didn't say anything." Teacher Zhou said suspiciously.

"Yes, Xiaoxue has an abnormal reaction I also found out, she is a little different from the other day, I am also very worried, I don't know what happened to her, and I was trying to communicate with you, the child is sick again, to be honest, I have been busy with work recently, and I don't have time to care about the child. ”

When Teacher Zhou heard this, he said unhappily, "Is your child important or work, is it important to earn money or is important to your child, as a parent, you must distinguish clearly, you can't take care of one or the other, what are we working so hard for?

I think what she said is very right, yes, I just ignore the child's feelings These days I am busy with work today, checking the materials on the computer, and forgetting Xiaoxue's health.

Every time I come home, I feel very tired, Xiaoxue asks me to play with her, I don't have that time, I don't have that mood, I just scribbled Xiaoxue to let her rest early or watch TV, my child cares too little, Xiaoxue is now a relative of mine, if my love for her is decreasing, then what else can Xiaoxue feel?

Thinking of this, I am very ashamed, I really ignore the child's feelings, I am very sorry for the child, my mother is very incompetent.

The homeroom teacher continued, "Xiaoxue's mother, I hope you remember one thing, you must pay more attention to your children's mental health, especially their mental health at this stage, which is related to their future life, so you should care more about your children,"

"Thank you, teacher, I understand. With that, I hung up.

Yes, I should have talked to Xiaoxue properly, although she is only six years old, but I should be concerned about her psychological state.

It seems that the child doesn't want to talk to me today, so forget it, let her have a good rest.

I sat next to the community, Xiaoxue stared out the window blankly, ignored me, didn't talk to me, just sat there in a daze.

Finally I grabbed a book, which I just bought for Xiaoxue and handed it over to her favorite fairy tale book.

"Xiaoxue, don't you like the story of Snow White the most?"

I'm very happy that reading the storybook might be a distraction for her.

After a long time, Xiaoxue suddenly asked, "Mom, are you my stepmother?" Snow White has a terrible stepmother, but she has met the prince?"

"Xiaoxue, I am your stepmother, why do you say that I am your stepmother?"

It can be seen how little I usually care about my children.

Xiaoxue looked at me and said, " Mom, usually you are always busy with work, every time you go home and don't play with me, and I don't buy clothes for me, Mom, I see these now, I really think, people's children and sons say so happy, there is the love of parents, but I only have mother, and there is no money, I am really sad, usually people's children every time they go home are sent by car, and the car they drive is so luxurious, but Mom, every time you pick me up on the electric car, every time you use the electric car to pick me up, I feel very ashamed, because last time Xiaomei laughed at me, she said that I ride an electric car small electric donkey every day in the wind and rain。 It's special and unproductive. Xiao Xue said this and lowered her head.

It seems that the children of this kind of atmosphere are really bad now, and this kind of money worship in society has been extended to Xiaoxue, especially Xiaoxue's age.

Thinking of this, I said to the child, "Xiaoxue, mom has no money now, can't afford a big car, can't afford to buy beautiful clothes, but Xiaoxue, mom gave you love and gave you a quiet environment." Look at those African children on TV, what kind of life do they live, they can't eat, they can't wear clothes, don't they feel pain in their hearts? Xiaoxue, a good life can be had, but you need to create it yourself, you don't always expect your mother to accompany you just a way, what your mother can do now is for you to go to school well, you don't compare yourself with other classmates, because everyone has their own life, what your mother told you, do you understand?"

I just hope that she can really understand my good intentions, although I am trying to create a good environment for her, but after all, my ability is limited, especially a woman, a divorced woman.