When I received a letter from my father, I remembered that it had been four or five months since I left the family. My father cared about my studies and my health, and asked me if I was abiding by the instructions of "Shen Du". My father's very standard letters in Chinese and the unique grass ink blots hooked a distant memory back to my heart. So familiar, yet so old.

A basketball game between classes was going on, and I continued to fulfill my duty as a clothes rack, my father's letter in my pocket, and the fierce competition on the court tugged at my nerves. Someone was pulling my arm, and when I turned around, it was Tian Fang. What's the matter, can't wait for the game to end? I can't just walk away from this critical juncture. But she pulled me by the sleeve and dragged me out of the human nest.

"Tell you something. She said, "The county propaganda department came to inform the school and let our "White-Haired Girl" opera go to the countryside to promote and perform. ”

"Really?" I asked.

"Really. Tian Fang said, "Teacher Wang just told me, let me call you to discuss it." ”

"When is the show?" I asked.

"During the winter holidays. Tian Fang said, "It's about to be a holiday." ”

Tian Fang and I found Mr. Wang's house and completely confirmed the matter. This is undoubtedly a glorious task, and Mr. Wang was also very happy and asked me what difficulties I had. I said that there was no difficulty, but I should go back home, and there would be no time after the holidays. Teacher Wang gave me two days off and told me to rush back to school before the exam, and the final exam will be held next week.

"If you go back this time, your dad may not recognize you. Teacher Wang smiled and said, "You can scare the old gentleman!"

Tian Fang looked at me and smiled. I laughed too.

Coming out of Mr. Wang's house, I walked towards the playground again, still thinking about the final victory or defeat of the crash second class. Tian Fang dragged me hard: "Then the fans! I still have something to tell you." ”

I had to stand still.

"You gave me the list of flowers you wrote down when you collected donations. She said.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"It worked. ”

"What's it for?"

"You don't care. ”

"If you don't make it clear, I won't give it to you. ”

She had no choice but to say, "I'm going to keep it." After I graduate, I will pay back every student who raises money when I have a salary!"

"Oh! so-" I said, "so...... Not good. ”

"Why is it bad?" Tian Fang said, "I really don't want to go, I'm very uneasy!"

"That's ...... At least for me, I'm sad!" I said.

"What are you hurt?" she asked.

"We raise donations out of a rebellion against feudal marriage. I said, "Some of those students from other classes have never even spoken a word to you, and you don't know them, so why do they donate money automatically?" Think ......about it?"

"I understand. "Even then, I should pay it back." I understand the students' intentions......"

"Of course, it's up to you to decide what to do with it. I said, "But don't give it to me...... What money to pay back!"

"That'...... "Well," she muttered, "you give me that list, and I'm going to keep it, it's more precious than anything else!"

"That's good!," I said, "I'll copy one for you, and I'll keep one." What will be the heart of many teenagers when they see this list......? That's a few hundred hearts!"

"How good you say!" Tian Fang's eyes flashed with moving tears, and his voice was low, trembling, "A heart that is more precious than gold!"

After breakfast from school, I left, and when I returned to my hometown Yangxu Village in the East Plains, the twilight clouds were closed. The winter days were short, and it was a walk, and it took a whole day to walk back after eighty or ninety miles. I'm in a good mood, I've been away from home for almost half a year, what will my home be like?

I stood at the door, the gatehouse stood in the cold twilight, and the inscription on the door plaque of "Reading and Cultivating the Heirloom", which the whole family was proud of, was a little lonely, and also a little indifferent to the outdated imperial calendar. I went into the yard.

A lot has changed in the yard. In the room where my daughter-in-law and I lived, there was a mixture of cow dung and cow urine, and as soon as I looked out, I saw a cow chewing grass and licking the material at the trough. Walking into the upper room, the house where my parents lived was separated and divided into two rooms. My father was sitting on the kang in the small south room, smoking a cigarette, and my mother was sitting on the other side of the kang. The weather was cold, and everyone was sitting on the kang.

In the dim glow of the kerosene lamp, my father stuck his head out and recognized me. I called him. He was surprised to get off the kang and sit on a chair, looking at me from head to toe. My mother also slipped off the kang and went out the door, leading my daughter-in-law in from outside the door.

"Sir, wipe your face. She put the wash in front of me.

She still called me sir, which is what she called me after I got married, and now I am not sir, I am a student at the normal school, and she still calls me that, which sounds like a lifetime away.

"What do you want to eat, sir?" she asked behind her.

"Just make something to eat. I said that I heard her asking her mother again what she was supposed to cook. My reply made her embarrassed. Mother finally ordered a recipe for clear soup and thin noodles, and she walked out of the house gently. I knew in my heart that her words and deeds were all cultivated in my house after she got married. Asking someone to wash your face is called "wiping your face", washing your hands is called "cleaning your hands", and eating is also called "eating", all of which are my father's family rules. These things that I used to be used to are now laughing.

My father craned his neck under the lamp and looked at my clothes, and then I remembered that when I walked out of the house, I was wearing a blue robe, a blue robe for change in my little bag, and a top hat on my head. My father was now the first time he saw the Lenin suit I was wearing and the octagonal hat on my head.

"You changed your blue robe?" asked my father.

"Changed. "I'm a little worried, will my father be angry?" I used a blue robe...... Changed this outfit. ”

"Well, well, well," said the father, smiling and nodding, "and now the gentleman is not interested in wearing robes." ”

My heart was happy, and my father was also changing with the changes in my life, so I sat on the edge of the kang and chatted with my father about family life.

In the six months since I left home, the family has disintegrated. My father was very sad and said that the people's hearts were no longer ancient, the people's customs were not simple, and even my two uncles were making trouble with him within the family. During the land reform, the three brothers gratefully hugged my grandfather's god box and cried and laughed, to see that there was no risk, ** to encourage the croppers to develop production, the two uncles forgot the will left by the grandfather when he died, to buy cattle, to buy land, to build more houses, no longer listen to my father's command, the grandfather established that my father's position in charge is not the same thing. Arguments occurred from time to time, contradictions were difficult to conceal, and finally divisions and disintegration.

"Rat-eyed!" my father simply recounted this change to me, and said disdainfully, "Your uncle and second uncle are all rat-eyed!"

I couldn't figure out who was right and wrong in the family for a while, it was not easy to mix, and I didn't think it was very interesting, since I couldn't get by, it wasn't a big deal for each family to live the sun and moon of each family.

"Anyway, you should go and greet the eldest and second uncle. The father said, "The family is divided into the family, and you are studying outside, and you should be together like that in the past, and you should go the way you should go, and you should do all the rituals you should do, and don't be like these people." ”

I nodded, and went to see my uncle.

Uncle lives in the back room of the landlord, is having dinner, puts down his chopsticks, and is busy letting me sit. I didn't say a word about family conflicts, but I just praised me for being a cadre.

"This new society is really good!" said the uncle, "As soon as the Kuomintang officials entered the village, they were so frightened that the people jumped over the wall, hid, ran, and did not dare to pick up their shoes even if they lost them...... My God, when I was gossiping on the mill that day, Comrade Lao Yang took the cigarette pouch from my mouth, stuffed it into my mouth, and smoked! Look at how close the public cadres are today......

I was also impressed. In the early days of liberation, the common people, who were accustomed to being oppressed by Kuomintang officials and bandits, were the most sensitive to the style of the Communist Party cadres and talked about them the most.

"Study hard and work hard in the future. Uncle said, "You can work outside, our Xu family is glorious!"

I said goodbye to my eldest uncle and walked into the door of my second uncle's house.

The second uncle was mixing grass for the livestock, threw down the straw stick, and led me to the wing room where he lived: "The room is narrow, there is no place to sit, you sit on the edge of the kang." ”

"When you left, we were one, and when you came back, it became three. The second uncle smiled. Such an unabashed statement of the reality of the separation makes me feel real. He smiled and said, "The water is flowing eastward, and it will be difficult for the brothers to come to an end." I think it's better to divide it, so as not to cause a lot of trouble. Whoever has what ability will become his own master!"

I was very close to the second uncle's idea, so I smiled and agreed with him.

"The second uncle will not turn around when he speaks all his life. The second uncle straightened his neck and said, "Your father used to be able to control the housekeeper, but now he can't control it." He wants to be the master of the house at home, and the public cadres of other people talk and sing about the equality of men and women! Therefore, in the past, when your father talked in the house, no one was dissatisfied, but now he is not convinced! This makes him angry...... I said it's okay!"

"It's okay to divide it!" I echoed the second uncle, "My father's housekeeper rules will definitely not work, and the more they go on, the more they will not work." ”

"That's right, eldest nephew, you and the second uncle watched a chess move. The second uncle said, "For example, ** sent cadres to our village to propagate all day long that production should be developed! Your father still followed your grandfather's idea when he was alive, 'The house should be small, the land should be small, and the old cow should be raised slowly.'" I am not satisfied with the party's policy. No, as soon as the family was divided, I bought a good cow, and one calf a year was born, which is half of the family's belongings......"

The second uncle is an upright farmer, I have always liked him very much, and I feel very honest with him.

"I can't dream of peaceful years!" The second uncle said, "I don't pull soldiers, I don't collect taxes, I pay a little more public food a year, and the croppers don't dare to dream of a good world! The eldest nephew, the second uncle said the truth, and now whoever has a bad life will not only not get the sympathy of the neighbors, but will be ridiculed by others!

I was amused by his naivety, and my brother came over and called me to eat.

I went back to my father's upper room and sat down to eat, and a bowl of clear soup and fine noodles was very delicious. After dinner, I reported to my father about the study at the normal school. My father was not surprised, he was accustomed to many changes in the new society. Anyway, no matter whether it is the new school or the old school, in a word, it is still what Han Yu said, 'preaching and teaching to solve doubts!' When you are a student and seek knowledge, you still have to remember that 'industry is good at diligence and frolic, and success is in thinking and ruining'. The new school won't object to that, right?"

"In school, hard work is encouraged, and the teachers are very tight. I said, "We're still very nervous about studying." ”

"It's good to be nervous. My father said, "If you want to become a scholar, you can't do it without hard work." ”

I asked him if he was too busy to come over after the separation.

"I'm in charge of everything in the house, and so can your brother. The father said, "Concentrate on your books." Remember, be mindful and don't be arrogant!"

My heart shook. My father obviously didn't know about my life at school, and he was still giving me vaccinations.

"Some people in the village are so arrogant!" My father said disdainfully, "I can't read a big word, and I am running around the world for meetings! There are a few young women who are running around for meetings in the middle of the night, and they are so arrogant that they want to go to heaven! The day before yesterday, I heard that Yang Fakui had joined the party! The Communist Party actually took a fancy to that person ...... such a second-class person."

A cold air crept into my heart. My father couldn't get used to people and things he couldn't figure out, but I was even better at normal school. I was disgusted by his criticism of the men and women who were running all over the world to meetings, and I could not listen to his ridicule of them, so I persuaded him: "The peasants have just turned over and are happy...... Don't pour cold water on others, don't talk about it......"

"What do I say?" said my father disdainfully, "I just look at these people and say nothing!" You-" my father looked at me, "in school, be cautious in what you do! I saw the madness of these people in the village, and I reminded you...... Sensei!"

I bowed my head and drank water, avoiding my father's harsh gaze.

"Do you still remember the word 'Shen Du' I wrote for you?"

"Remember. ”

"Go and rest. Father said.

I walked to my house. The original wing house was turned into a cattle pen, and my house was moved to the north room of the upper west house, which was separated from my father's wall.

"Sir, you drink tea. My daughter-in-law said.

"I pour it myself. I said.

"Sir, wash your feet. ”

"I'll wash it myself later. ”

I sat down, still catching her poured tea. She sat on the edge of the kang and lifted the soles of her shoes, but she didn't look at me. I sat in my chair and didn't speak for a moment. I suddenly wanted to smoke a cigarette, and even though I had never tasted smoke, I wanted to smoke it now. I said to her, "Don't call me sir anymore." ”

"Then ......," she looked up, and lowered her head again, "what's it called?"

"Call me by name. I said.

"What does that look like?" she said, panicking.

"It's been a long time since I stopped calling him!" I said.

"I shouted in the house. She said.

I didn't insist anymore, and her excessive respect for me, even with deep-seated fear, made me very uncomfortable. She was ashamed of her ugly appearance and uneducated, and that kind of cowardly eyes made me uncomfortable. I suddenly thought of Tian Fang, the gesture of correcting my singing note by pressing the piano keys with her hand, and the moving scene of singing "Turning Song" in the auditorium of the Normal School...... A thought flashed like lightning in my head, and it vanished in a hurry, and I myself was shaken: what would happen to her if I filed for divorce from her? What would happen to my father?

The next day, I left, and I was so eager that I wanted to return to the warmth of the community at once.