Simmons looked down at his hands, and couldn't help but start to twist his fingers slightly, as if he could feel the sticky and slippery blood on the fingertips, the warm fishy smell lingered under the wings of his nose, so real and so certain, strangling life can feel the stickiness of blood, but strangling the soul can not see any trace at all, it seems to be the case now, but he knows that this is an illusion, all are hallucinations, there is nothing between the fingers and the palm at all, no blood, no soul.

It felt amazing.

He seemed to feel a pulling and driving force, slowly guiding his emotions and actions little by little, as if he had slowly awakened the demon hidden in his heart, and the cruel and ferocious anger was slowly awakening, and a soul appeared that even he was not aware of, and pounced on his food with teeth and claws, and began to gnaw on it in large gulps.

The scariest thing is that he enjoys it.

He could even picture himself in his mind, the demon's black wings slowly spreading, obscuring all light, and the sharp fangs were flowing with fresh blood, so sweet and delicious, that he couldn't help it, stretched out his tongue and licked it, and the smile bloomed.

He knew what he was doing, he was trampling on a stubborn dignity, he was destroying a young dream, he was destroying a thin hope, and more importantly, he was tearing apart a young soul, so cruel and so cold and so rough, but he enjoyed it, and even produced a hint of pleasure/feeling.

Because if you want to become a real strongman, you must go through a lot of tempering.

He never worries that his actions may destroy a potential "Charlie Parker", because "Charlie Parker" will not sink here, "Charlie Parker" will fight back, will grow, will improve, will transform, and achieve greatness in blood and fire;

Simmons realizes that this is not true, this is not his philosophy, this is not his three views, it is all Fletcher's idea, but the most amazing thing is that he enjoys it immensely, and the boundary between himself and Fletcher is disappearing. As if the performance had awakened a demon hidden in the depths of his soul, the part that belonged to Fletcher was gradually raising its head, squeezing the space that belonged to Simmons himself.

In a trance, drama and reality merge and intertwine.

Fear and excitement, worry and excitement, confusion and excitement, nervousness and anticipation.

Simmons himself couldn't accurately describe the feeling, and lowered his head again, the remaining blood on his fingertips seemed to become real and concrete again, as if he had just strangled Andrew with his own hands. It's a really ...... Indescribable.

Andrew?

Simmons jerked his head up, followed the guidance of his heart, and looked at Lan Li who was sitting in his chair.

Lan Li still sat quietly in place, did not move, lowered his head deeply, his hands above his knees, rubbing the nails of his thumb with his index finger, as if looking for the flesh thorns around his fingers, he couldn't get along with himself, faintly revealing a trace of anxiety and annoyance.

That's Andrew, not Lan Li.

A scarred, lonely and helpless soul, after the baptism of the storm, was trying to regain his strength and find a way forward, but he was at a loss, his pupils vibrated rapidly and bewildered, and he quietly surveyed the surrounding scene, like a fox running on the ice, tiptoeing forward, its ears erected, and the slightest wind and grass would make it run away quickly, and then it would never be found again.

His gaze swept slightly, and then he caught the stunned, ridiculed, mocking, stunned, and puzzled gazes of the band members, like a storm, slowly, slowly waking him up, and the humiliation of self-esteem and the trampling of pride swept over him, far more than the pain and bitterness, and far more than the sadness and helplessness, and pierced his soul fiercely.

In an instant, he stood up suddenly, walked quickly out of the range of the drum kit, like a lost dog, left the practice room in a hurry, and walked away, every second he stayed here was a kind of torment, comparable to Ling Chi's execution. He just wanted to leave, he just wanted to run away, like a coward, but so what? At least he didn't have to suffer like a frying pan anymore.

"......" Simmons tried to call his departure footsteps, but the words were stuck in his throat, Lan Li? or Andrew? He didn't know which name he should call, and before he could make a decision, the figure had already disappeared behind the dangling door, and the pace of escape was getting faster and faster.

What's more, he didn't know what to say, "I'm sorry", and did an apology really work?

Inexplicably, Simmons could feel a sense of sadness, which he couldn't bear to bear, but at the same time, Fletcher's voice whispered: this is the test he needs to withstand, this is the only way for him to succeed, either persist or give up, the choice is simple, no one can force him.

That demonic whisper made people feel no resistance, and he actually ...... Faintly agreed!

So, what should he do now?

Turning his head, Simmons looked at Damien and tried to ask for help, but he was disappointed. Damien was unaware of these anomalies, and was discussing the filming of the next scene with the crew, his eyebrows fluttering with his expression revealing his excitement and joy.

Directors and actors are still different after all.

Inexplicably, Simmons was a little lost, looking at the direction Lan Li left, standing in place, at a loss.

……

Lan Li walked quickly out of the rehearsal room, his head still hanging deeply, unable to lift up, just trying to hide in a corner where no one could find him, silently licking his wounds, swallowing all those humiliations and embarrassments, as if as long as he was isolated from the world, everything that had just happened could be relaxed.

Actually, it's not that it's too deep into the play.

When Damien interrupted the rhythm of the shooting, Lan Li had already come back to his senses, and the boundary between drama and reality was becoming clear again, but Lan Li did not immediately get rid of the performance state, but was still immersed in the constraints and difficulties of this emotion. He did it on purpose.

After EGOT, on the surface, Lan Li seemed to be calm and unconcerned, but he himself clearly knew that the feelings of complacency and pride were spreading irrepressibly. When he dreamed back in the middle of the night, Lan Li also had a blank mood: now, what else can he do, or what should he do?

The New York Times' interview with Bradley Adams is very relevant.

Even though Lan Li is a human being, in the final analysis, he is still an ordinary person, experiencing a story that most people have never experienced in their lifetimes, standing at the crossroads of history, standing at the top of the pyramid, standing in the hurricane of magnesium lights and spotlights, intoxication and secret rooms are still inevitable, even if he tries to keep himself awake, it still has little effect.

It's like a marathon.

The start was full of enthusiasm and passion for willpower, but as I ran, I gradually forgot the starting point and the end, and forgot the others I had forgotten, and it seemed that everything became meaningless, just running mechanically, so I simply left everything behind and continued to run wildly, just sprinting, sprinting, and sprinting again.

But suddenly, at a certain moment, he crossed the finish line. He was the first.

The joy and happiness of the champion instantly filled his chest, but after that? Looking back, he couldn't see the other contestants, nor the goal in front of him, he was already standing at the top, so what should he do next? There was no guidance, no direction, that emptiness and loneliness, that kind of dazed and helpless, more turbulent and more cruel than the loneliness brought by the cold in the heights.

Lan Li forced himself to calm down, devoted himself wholeheartedly to the rehearsal of "Burst Drummer", returned to his identity as an actor wholeheartedly, and once again found his passion for acting, not for awards, not for the box office, but for his own expectations and persistence, and continued to perform.

It's called a dream.

Truly perform for yourself.

At such a moment and in such a situation, Lan Li was extremely glad that he met the work "Burst Drummer". Because Andrew Neiman's state of mind is precisely the best choice to reawaken his original heart and reawaken his dreams.

As a result, it is clear that reality and fantasy can be distinguished, but Lan Li forces himself to immerse himself in the emotions of the performance and the world of the characters, and in such a way to forget the aura of EGOT and start from scratch.

Invisibly, this fits perfectly with Andrew.

In the past, Chu Jiashu was inferior, he didn't think that he could realize his dreams, or rather, he had no way to realize his dreams, he could only depict the shape of a daydream in his mind, even if he was reborn as Lan Li, he still hesitated and hesitated, because of his own uncertainty, and because of the judgment from George and Elizabeth, all of which made him waver.

But he still chose to stick to his dream.

Not because of faith or because of faith, but because of faith. Having faced death once, he knew that he should not shrink back because of timidity, and only by taking positive and courageous steps could he not live his life in vain, so he began to run wildly.

EGOT's success made him self-confident and even complacent, he almost thought that he had the whole world, and gradually began to get carried away, and then, he slammed into a wall, just as Andrew met Fletcher, and Lan Li also let himself "meet" Fletcher.