In the late November week, I was in the office on Monday when my son came in and stood at the door, and I looked at him and knew in my heart, "Oh! I walked up to him and said, "It's okay, it's inevitable that you'll be on your way." ”

The son's expression softened a lot, and he said guiltily: "Dad, I wrote my Chinese homework very poorly yesterday, and Teacher Liu called you." ”

When my child and I came to Mr. Liu's office, my lonely and sad expression suddenly flooded my son's body. He stood aside with his mouth closed. "Teacher Wang, Wang Xile's study has regressed too much this semester, and he dares to make a mistake in class, kicking other people's kicks and stepping on other people's heels. Once, a classmate crossed the dividing line on their desk and got into an argument. Wang Xile is a ghost and elf child, but he doesn't want to use his brain in learning. In the past few days, Wang Xile's homework problem is particularly serious. Yesterday's homework was only half written in several places. Now Wang Xile will never let go of the lazy place where he can do his homework. On two occasions he didn't keep a diary, and I asked him if he hadn't, and he insisted he had forgotten at home. I saw that I only wrote a little bit in the afternoon, and I suspect that it was made up at noon.

Teacher Wang, today's children are very unconscious, if you don't force it, you can't do it, parents should be responsible for their children and fulfill their responsibilities. Your king Xile is so playful, it seems that no one has ever cared about it, and if this continues, this child will be in danger. Teacher Liu was a little emotional and finished his words in one breath.

I looked up at Ms. Liu, and I thought to myself, "I may be the most difficult parent she has ever met since she started teaching. I looked at my son, and his head couldn't be lowered, "Joy, and put his head up." I said, "Did you do your best in an hour?"

The son grinned and wanted to say something, but before the voice came out, tears fell to the ground like pearls with broken threads.

"Teacher Wang, with these two homework, compared with Wang Xile, the situation is clear at a glance. ”

Teacher Liu handed over two homework books, which were so neat that people felt a terrible neatness. I pulled my son to him, pointed to his homework book and said, "How are the classmates' homework?" He didn't speak, and I continued, "Joy, Daddy believes that after a period of hard work, you will have as many red checks in your homework book as they do." ”

The son was a little encouraged, and the gloom on his face disappeared a lot. He raised his eyes and seemed to convey confidence to me.

"Teacher Wang, Wang Xile is not the only child with many problems," Teacher Liu said anxiously, "Since the third grade, it has been very difficult to work, but Wang Xile has changed from an excellent student to a poor student, which makes people wonder how to figure it out." He shouldn't be like this!"

"The child has changed so much," I said, "In the past, Wang Xile only cared about playing, but now he has begun to pay attention to people and things in society." ”

Before I finished my sentence, Teacher Liu said, "Wang Xile also raised this question in class. When children grow older, they will naturally understand that the most important thing now is to learn. I originally suggested that you enroll him in an intensive class, but you haven't reported, and if you want to get the learning going, adults must make a strict study plan for your child. ”

I have some differences with Mr. Liu's understanding of education. My son is now in the throttling years of growing up, and many things need a tolerant stability to get through. I said, "It seems that there is something wrong with my education style, so I'll go back and reflect on it." ”

Teacher Liu had a smile on his face.

From Mr. Liu, in the face of his rapidly developing son, it is unrealistic to want to regain the leading position in learning in the short term, and the best way at this time is to endure and work hard to promote learning on the basis of solving behavioral problems, which is more far-reaching for his long-term development. But in order to do this, it is necessary to win the support of his wife again, otherwise everything is a pipe dream.

Because only by winning the support of his wife, family education will have a center, and the family will become a treasure base, and the unfavorable factors in the growth of the son will be prevented from the family to the greatest extent, so that the family will operate in its own trajectory and will not rise and fall with the child's test scores. If the above situation is achieved and persistent, when the son has established a new attitude towards things, learning will inevitably progress along with psychological progress.

After thinking clearly, I came to my wife's office and said, "There was a problem with Wang Xile's homework, and in the first class in the morning, Teacher Liu asked Wang Xile to call me, and she calculated the new and old accounts together in front of me and Wang Xile." ”

"Well deserved! It would be better to calculate more," said his wife, "It seems that such a big regression in learning has nothing to do with him, and this is your high theory that 'everyone has an upward heart'!"

Since her son's midterm exam results fell, his wife has been in a bad mood. Now there are big and small things related to habits. I said, "I know how my son's studies have regressed, mainly because of the psychological changes. ”

"Psychology," said the wife, puzzled, "what is the psychology of the little doll?"

"It's a complicated question, and I won't be able to explain it for a while. The situation of first-year Wang Xile is much worse than it is now, and we have no reason to doubt his ability. The son needs time to adjust himself. ”

"To be honest, my son's grades directly affected my mood, and it was even more annoying for others to say, I didn't want to talk more, and I didn't know what to say. He studied so poorly in the first grade, and he didn't feel so bothered in his heart. ”

"This shows that my son's progress in the second grade has made you have higher hopes for him. ”

"Yes. ”

"It's dangerous to think that children have a long way to go to school, and to expect high scores to affirm their progress, because the path to success is complex, and it's not just about textbook learning. ”

"I don't approve of your education method from the bottom of my heart, and I don't think you have any way to let him play more and talk more, but I always feel that Wang Xile is indeed developing in a good direction in all aspects. The kids you've brought with you are always lively and weird. I'm also being urged by others. Now that I've said that, I don't have anything to say. ”

The wife's attitude is a powerful cornerstone of the child's progress.

When I got home at noon, my son said, "Dad, I asked Teacher Liu a question in the morning, why didn't she answer but let me sit down?"

"What questions are you asking?"

Teacher Liu criticized Guo Jiwei in class and said that he didn't study well, and the teacher always said that he regretted not studying well when he was a child! I saw that Guo Jiwei was criticized very pitifully, so I raised my hand and said, Teacher Liu, why didn't you know to study hard when you were a child, and now you ask us to study hard when we are young? Teacher Liu was stunned for a long time and didn't speak, and directly asked me to sit down, why is this?"

"Wang Xile, you asked a high-level question, and it is not easy to answer this question well. But the way you ask questions is too direct to the person, and it will hurt people's self-esteem. The teacher's endless criticism of children with poor learning is not right, although the classmates are all sitting in the same classroom, but it is impossible to grow at the same time, some grow faster and some grow slower, this is the way of heaven, as long as you persevere, no matter how small the chick will grow up. ”

My son grimaced at me, said "Understood", and turned to the back room. Looking at his back, I can't believe that the children who were called parents by the teacher in the first class this morning, and asked questions to the teacher in the second class, what kind of growth force is in their bodies, and how to guide this force to develop in the right direction is the top priority in the current family education.