In the few days I have been talking to Ms. Liu, I have been thinking about how I can support my child psychologically. At this time, a passage in the book "Non-intellectual Factors and Their Cultivation" brought me thought: In the 20s of the last century, American psychologists conducted a decades-long follow-up study on 1,528 children with extraordinary intelligence (these people have an average IQ of 151, and the standard for prodigies is only 139). The analysis found that the biggest difference between them was in four aspects: perseverance in completing tasks, self-confidence and initiative, prudence, and competitiveness, and they believed that non-intellectual factors played a decisive role in creative activities. It made me realize that intelligence can only lead to excellence if it is based on good character. The four qualities of perseverance, self-confidence and enterprising, prudence, and competitiveness cannot be learned from books, and can only be obtained through repeated social practice, and children's social practice is mainly play. After in-depth analysis, I found that a good memory is the basic guarantee of everything. Under the guidance of this line of thinking, an educational curtain on cultivating Wang Xile's ability to play and improving memory was quietly opened in Wuwei.

In my opinion, if the learning content is used as memory training material, although it is helpful for classroom learning and scores, it is easy for children to feel that their parents are deliberately grasping learning, and it will naturally lead to rebellion after a long time. To do this, I have to rely on life and try to enhance my child's memory unconsciously. In general, I used the following three methods that are suitable for the actual situation of the child:

First, recall memory training

This method of memory training is to repeat the memorized material without modification.

I remember the first time I called my son over and said I wanted to test him. His timid look amused me. "What is the test?" the son asked in a worried whisper.

I'll give you 10 sets of numbers from 3 digits to 12 digits, and read them each time to see if you can repeat them, the more repeating numbers, the better. The numerical composition looks like this:

921

1458

79658

813546

3146725

28948175

354813617

9785927453

62587374135

357847543891

"Simple. "My son put on a shelf and tried it. This is the first time that my son has been so active in facing his parents' "exams" since he went to school. When the number was repeated to 6 digits, the son had a hard time. In the midst of laughter, the son asked again and again. This training is varied. I often swap numbers for words, geometric diagrams, or other symbols. In short, focusing on the most common things in life, often changing tricks to help children improve their ability to remember by talking and laughing.

Second, recognise memory training

This is a way to know whether or not you can recognize it after being recognized. The specific method of recognition memory training is as follows: when the child writes math homework, I usually arrange three recognition memory training for him in a playful way. Usually I ask him to look at the ten most common objects in his life for 20 seconds, such as: pencils, pens, books, small paper balls, etc. Or I will give him a slow reading of the name of the item, usually 2 seconds a piece. Then ask him to do some simple arithmetic homework and then name the said item. At first, the child found it very difficult, but showed a strong desire to be aggressive, and after a period of time, the situation improved.

Third, visual perception training

That is, we often say similar graphics to find differences.

According to the child's cognitive characteristics, the graphics are difficult to cross, and generally find up to two pictures in a training. It develops observation and allows the child to sit quietly for a while.

For the above three types of memory training, I usually play with my child for ten minutes when he is not nervous. He was happy, and I was also satisfied.

In fact, when I was doing these things, my true thought in my heart was: My son only did not score well in textbooks, not because he did not study well, and the content of learning was varied, and the path to becoming a talent was different. No matter what I think, but the reality is cruel, I have to let my son come out of the shadow of "bad birth", that kind of bad psychology, and it is difficult to let my children progress in the future. What can be done to make my son get the support of a strong mindset in his learning weakness?

My son is in elementary school and I am in middle school, so I don't see each other during school hours, and I think the only way out is to actively pay attention to what is going on in his life. For this reason, I have made it a rule for myself to ask my son two things from time to time. First, the happiest thing, and second, the most unhappy thing. Find a way to let children say what they want to say and what they dare not say, so that they can understand the most real life of their children, and secondly, they can reduce their anxiety about academic performance.

One day in early November. After school at noon, walking on the road, I saw that my son seemed to have something on his mind, so I asked him what was the happiest thing today. He said that the teacher checked his homework and didn't let him stand in the small square. "What little square?" I asked.

"A place where classmates who don't write well in their homework and don't do well in class often stand. The son said.

"Oh! Dad also used to go to the little square when he was a child. At that time, we called it a penalty station, and it didn't matter, it was normal for children to make mistakes often, and as long as they kept working hard, they would improve. I said unhurriedly.

When my son heard my words, his eyes lit up like a night walker in the wilderness seeing the light, and the sadness on his face was swept away.

"What about the unhappy?" I asked.

Chen Zhiguang let the teacher scold him again, I think he is quite pitiful. The son, who had always been rough and loud, became thinner.

"Why did the teacher scold him?"

"Poor academic performance!" said the son, revealing pity.

In the past few days of conversation, my son will mention Chen Zhiguang every time. The meaning of his speech is nothing more than two points: one is that he is better at learning than him, and the other is that he receives more criticism than himself. This aroused my curiosity about Chen Zhiguang, so I asked my wife whose child it was. "You don't know, you're still old Mrs. Gillan!" said his wife, slightly mockingly.

"I really don't know. I said.

"It's the son of 'Ermaolou', so I know it this time. The wife seemed to be gritting her teeth to say this.

It turned out to be his son. I was really shocked. In fact, "Ermaolou" and I are in the same junior high school class, I am in class A, and he is in class D. When several of their brothers and sisters were in school, they were famous for their honesty and poor academic performance, "Ermaolou" is a nickname, and I don't know his real name until now. Due to the poor academic performance of "Ermaolou", I am very clear about the things that people look down upon. Now Wang Xile only dares to compare with his son at school, which makes me shudder at my son's situation.

The second week of November is the day of my son's midterm exams. Before the exam, I told me to be careful, and he was full of answers. After the Chinese test in the morning, my son confidently said that he had finished the paper in less than one class. The math test in the afternoon is still the same old way, but the speed of answering the paper is faster than in the morning. It gives me a sense of foreboding.

By noon on Friday, my son said that he would have a parent-teacher conference in the afternoon. Since I had classes, his mom went.

"Shame on the dead, shame on the dead. "At 5 o'clock, my wife came back from attending the parent-teacher conference, and when I came to my office to scold me, "Dead old man, don't look for me about my son's studies in the future, look at other people's children, 98 points are still low, look at your baby son, that poor grade, ashamed!" I wanted to say something, but before I could calm down, my wife turned around and left.

The sense of foreboding was fulfilled. My son lost again in his midterm exams, and he lost badly.

At dinner, the family of three was silent. My mind was empty and depressed. I can't figure out why so many families are entangled and heartbroken when children go to school nowadays, and I can't figure out whether this is a problem with the school or something. I watched my son sweep over our faces from time to time with a scattered and uneasy look, and the look in his eyes grew more and more solemn as the amount of food in my bowl decreased.

"Rejoice, is there anything to be happy about today?" I broke the silence first. "Nope. The son's voice was so low that it was barely audible.

"What about the unhappy?"

Chen Zhiguang was beaten again. The son said in a low voice, for fear that the same fate would fall on him.

"Why?"

"Because of his poor midterm exam results, he was beaten by his father. What a beating!" the son said sadly.

"How do you know?"

"The adults held a parent-teacher conference in the classroom, and a few of our classmates who did not study well squatted on the table tennis table, and after the parent-teacher meeting, Chen Zhiguang's father came over and grabbed him by the collar and beat him hard. Terrible man!" said the son, looking flustered and gesturing with his hand.

"Didn't your mom beat you?"

"My mom came out late, and she came to me and just said, 'Look at your poor grades,' and left. The son said weakly.

"But when your mother went back to middle school, she scolded me for being a bloody squirt. ”

"Who scolded you. If you have to be in the mood to scold, that's good. I get angry at the mention of exams. I won't eat, you two will wash the pot after eating, I won't be too lazy to serve you. The wife left the table.

It was very quiet in the kitchen. I could hear my son's heart disappearing as something gnawed at him, and I could feel that he was watching himself move towards something ominous, and the moment that bad luck happened was the rice in my bowl, and when the meal was gone, it should have happened.

I put down my rice bowl and met my son's frightened gaze and said, "Joy, can you learn to wash the pot?"

"Yes, yes, yes. The son seemed to suddenly grab a life-saving grass and nodded vigorously.

This is my delaying tactic. My son failed in his first important paper-based exam, and he has positioned himself as one of those who are not good at studying, which is a terrible thing for someone who has just started to study books. How do I have this difficult conversation with him?

While washing the dishes, I asked him how much he scored. The son eagerly said that he was much stronger than Chen Zhiguang, and he only scored more than 60 points in the exam. It's Chen Zhiguang again. I thought to myself: everyone has an upward desire to surpass others, even the weakest opponents, can bring comfort to people, especially children. I said calmly:

"Dad will look at the paper in a moment. ”

It's eight o'clock when I'm done. Sitting at his desk, my son pulled out a roll from his bag and handed it to me. I opened it with a complicated feeling, and I scored 83 points in Chinese and 86 points in mathematics, which greatly exceeded my imagination.

"That's good!" I said involuntarily.

My son was overwhelmed by me, and his sad face had an indescribable expression, "Dad, Dad, are you telling the truth?"

"It's true. A score of 80 is excellent, and you've achieved it all. I said.

"Many of my classmates have 100 points, and I am only better than Chen Zhiguang!" the son whispered with a grudge.

"Joy, you remember that 80 points is excellent, don't get any score from your classmates, it doesn't matter to you, as long as you feel that you have done your best. I said, holding my son's hand.

The son suddenly became happy and nodded vigorously.

"Let's analyze the test paper and see what the problem is. You can do the math of this question...... "one careless, another careless." Re-analysis of linguistic ...... I blamed all the mistakes in the exam on carelessness, but I actually had good intentions.

"What's your homework today?" I said after analyzing the test papers.

"Correct the math mistakes and make a paper. Correct a mistake 10 times, and write the paper again. The son said happily.

"Now hurry up and do your homework. I said.

"Dad, can I make a suggestion?" the son had a look of hope in his eyes.

"What's the suggestion?"

"Tomorrow is off, homework is written tomorrow, let's play and see who remembers to go fast?"

The desire of the son, how can the parents have the courage to refuse. However, his words gave me a profound enlightenment: even the weakest people can see hope in failure.

"Okay. I said.

As soon as these words came out, a bright smile appeared on the corner of my son's mouth, "Competition, competition, happy competition begins!" That atmosphere made me feel indescribably happy.

We did three sets of number memory games. This game is the second time to play, my son can remember 9 digits, up 3 places from the first play, every time we succeed we will high-five congratulations, my son is very encouraged. "Dad, one more time, if I give it another chance, I can remember more. "This is the most common language used by my son in memory play.

Human education is a complex and ever-changing social system engineering. The same is true for memory training, but since ancient times, Chinese people have loved to go to extremes, lack the spirit of moderation, and always like to take "so-and-so as the key" to only care about the benefits of one time and one time, and do not know where the "middle" is, which is very unbalanced. This situation is even more prominent on the education front, so I train the child to memorize for about ten minutes every time, and flexibly adjust it with the child's emotions.

Now, my son is particularly excited that he has not been blamed by his family for his poor test scores. After the memory game is done, it is time to do the next. Looking at the glowing eyes on his red servant's face, I didn't have the strength to refuse, so I found two different paintings. The first painting is simple, and the battle is solved in five minutes. The second one stumped both of us, "It's ten o'clock, what are you doing?" The wife's voice came from the back room.

It's too fast. We quickly washed up and got ready for bed. I washed up and sat down beside my son's bed. After a while, my son came and got into his bed, but when I didn't move, I wondered, "Dad, what are you doing sitting here?"

"Miss you. I laughed.

"I have something to think about. ”

"I thought, can you tell Dad what you really think about today's parent-teacher conference?" I asked softly.

"Yes. ”

"First, Dad wants to know what you think after the parent-teacher conference?"

"I was terrified to see Chen Zhiguang being beaten. Mom came over, angry, I thought I had to beat me when I got home today. When I go home in the afternoon, every time you approach me, I get scared. Seeing that there is less and less rice in your bowl, every piece of meat on my bones trembles with fear. I was stunned when you put the bowl on the table, and my legs didn't seem to obey. "My son regarded me as a friend, and he told me what was in his heart.

"Good. Joy dared to speak the truth. I said, "Second, Dad wants to tell you that you are very smart, that your learning difficulties are temporary, and that one day you will be the best student." ”

"Can I do it?" asked the son, suspicious.

"Absolutely. I said slowly, "No matter how many points you score in the future, your parents will not beat you because of your studies, and I will help you analyze it every time you bring the paper back, as long as you do your best." ”

The son went to sleep with spiritual relief.

"Let you take care of the child, it's good for you, play with him, you won't be able to study well in the future, you won't find a good job, and you will be happy!" As soon as I entered the bedroom, my wife dumped me angrily.

"We analyze the test papers together, it's not that he won't be mainly careless, as long as he improves his temperament, his academic performance will definitely go up. Then again, his grades are very good, all of them are above 80 points. I said.

"Excellent, you can say it, look at the grades of other people's children, your son is the second-to-last! Don't leave me alone, anyway, look at the results in the final exam, don't say that I didn't give you time!"

At night, I couldn't sleep at all, thinking about the world's best Jews, who pay the most attention to education, but once a child's test score exceeds 72 - 74 points, there will be panic, fear that too much old knowledge will destroy the child's thinking power. But even if China achieves a high score, as long as the ranking is not good, it is difficult to grow healthily in school, and there are too many reasons why I can't figure it out, and this kind of doubt fills my brain more and more.