The winter holidays of 2004 were unforgettable.

Although my son's studies have improved again, he is still at the bottom of the class. Anyone has wavered in their faith in themselves, and so have I. In the movement of learning education reformer Wei Shusheng, I imitated his "six-step method" to educate my son in the form of a fine "knowledge tree", and I wanted to bear great fruits, but the result was unexpected.

On the first day of the holiday, my son got up at 10 o'clock in the morning, packed up and said to me, "Dad, I'm going to play." ”

"How did you set your study plan for the holidays?"

"I play for two days and then plan things to study. ”

"No need to plan. In the early stage of our school, I learned the deeds of Wei Shusheng, an education reformer, and my father read more than ten books about Teacher Wei, and I formulated a winter vacation study plan based on your situation. My son came over, and I continued, "You don't want to do your homework these two days, so can you memorize this 'code of conduct' first?"

The son reads:

First, we must analyze ourselves dialectically and understand ourselves, see that we are a vast world, respect and be faithful to our own concept of truth and goodness, and be responsible for ourselves.

Second, we should respect others and be responsible for others, and seek the same rewards from respect, understanding, help, care, love, and understanding for others, so as to obtain happiness in life, and feel pride and happiness.

Third, be responsible for the collective and the state, always think that you are a member of the country and the collective, and are also the masters of the country and the collective, and must not be indifferent to the country and the collective.

Fourth, be confident that even if you fail a thousand times, you will succeed in your next effort.

Fifth, be strong-willed, have the psychological preparation to withstand failures, blows, setbacks, and adversity, and ensure that you do not flinch or give in when you really encounter failures, blows, setbacks, and adversities.

Sixth, be open-minded, do not fall into the calculation of pounds, and do not fall into the strange circle of fighting in the nest.

Seventh, in addition to paying attention to school life and the study of textbooks, we should cultivate a broad interest in society and the world, and be good at collecting teaching materials that are conducive to our all-round improvement from the vast ocean of information on politics, economy, education, culture, science and technology, and so on.

Eighth, we must have the spirit of hard work, always do a good job in front of us and in our hands, even if the things in our hands are not ideal, we must do it to the best degree of the same kind of things. ”

"Vernacular text, simple, two days to memorize, no problem. The son said.

"Joy, from the third day of the holiday, we will implement a fixed winter vacation study schedule, and the specific situation is as follows:

morning

Wake up at 8:00;

8:30--10:30 Study;

Afternoon

4:00--4:45 Go to middle school to play with the big brother of the sports team.

8:00--9:00 review.

"Will this plan work?" I said.

"It's okay, it's too time, it's not easy to get it. The son said.

"It's a test of your willpower. I said.

In the first week, the implementation of the plan went smoothly, and by the time the time came, my son participated in three training sessions. When he came home after his third training session, he said, "Mom, my dad is too bad, and it really hurts me to play games with those big brothers in high school. He who lives is said to be dead, and he who dies is said to be alive. I said Daddy was an old Rippy, guess what he said?"

"What did he say?" asked his wife.

He said that a teacher who can't cheat is not a good teacher. The son said angrily, "How can there be a cheating teacher in the world!"

"Ignore him. Your dad is famous, and he's famous," said his wife.

My wife's words changed my son's attitude towards me from anger to acquiescence, and he nodded yes. Seeing that my son's heart was about to be conquered by his wife, I said, "Joy, how many of the 10 free throws did you score today?"

"Not a single one went in. ”

"Did you shoot every ball seriously?"

"Nope. ”

"How many are you not serious about?"

"The third. ”

"Why?"

"The first two didn't enter, and I felt that the latter couldn't enter, so I was cold and boring, so I threw them randomly. ”

Another week passed, and by the third period, my son had emotions about my study plan, but he dared not speak out, and the training only went twice. Playing basketball began to appear in his diary, and sports began to have an effect on his psyche. After dinner that night, I said:

"Wang Xile, how many free throws did you score today?"

"Two. ”

"How many of them got in?"

"The seventh and ninth. ”

"If you can't score in the front, you can still go in the back, you weren't like this a few days ago?"

"Dad, a few days ago, as long as the first two balls couldn't be thrown, my head was big, and I started to throw nonsense, and I couldn't control myself at all. It's different now, even if the first nine balls don't go in, I'll throw the tenth ball seriously. ”

"Why?"

"I seem to have a lot of energy in my heart. ”

"Where does this energy come from?"

"I don't know. ”

"Your energy is what Daddy gave you. ”

"Why?"

"Start training, how do you feel when Dad plays tricks on you?"

"Very angry. ”

"And now?"

"Don't blame it, nothing to say, keep playing. ”

"What are you playing?"

"Fight for the next opportunity. It's something you often say in training. ”

"This shows that your mental quality has improved. Dad's reliance is a kind of responsibility, and it is also a kind of life education. Every time Dad is between reason and unreasonableness, messing around with those big brothers, he is actually refining your patience to win, and over-entanglement in what happened will make it difficult to move forward in the future. Although Dad is deliberately unreasonable many times, there are more things in life that do not go as you wish, like when you lose with your children, is it always smooth sailing?"

"No, no, no. They often quarrel, sometimes they quarrel very fiercely, and they fight. ”

"Yes. Everyone is not born to control their emotions, which means that it is normal for them to lose control of their emotions, so it is necessary to improve people's rare self-control ability through training. For example, some time ago, when you didn't score the first two balls and started to throw randomly, it was a sign of psychological uncontrollability, and now you think about whether Dad's actions are cheating?"

"It doesn't seem like it's a bit like that. But you're too bad!"

"Joy, how many people were on the sports team in the beginning?"

"More than forty people. ”

"And now?"

"Twelve. ”

"Why are those kids being eliminated?"

"Don't know?"

"Because those children have grown up under the overprotection of adults, they love to be angry, they can't stand grievances, such children will retreat when they encounter difficulties, and no matter how good their qualifications are, they will not win on the sports field, because the character of people in high school has been stereotyped. Sports are the most cutting-edge condensation of real life, it is useless to always complain or give in to unfair things, you have to find a way to change, or to adapt, so children who love to lose their temper, or are too well-behaved, will soon be eliminated by sports teams. ”

"Dad, you are a teacher, you have to try your best to train them, how can you eliminate them one by one!

My son's words opened my mouth wide. School sports teams generally serve the requirements of short-term competitions, and the psychological growth cycle is very long, and it is difficult to find a foothold in the overall situation of our exam-oriented education for such a long-term problem. But my son's question could not be answered, so I thought for a while and said:

"Joy, the poor students in your class, can they surpass you after a year of hard work?"

"No, you can't. ”

"Why?"

"He plays and I play. I have mastered a lot of play skills since preschool, and many of my classmates are learning with me, but they are not flexible and will not catch up with me in this life. ”

"Therefore, those children who have been eliminated, their poor psychological quality is also accumulated for a long time, how hard they work to surpass the accumulated classmates, the future will not be able to complete the mission given by the sports team, so elimination is necessary. Son, you have to remember: "It is an art to be a teacher, and a clever teacher can greatly improve your intelligence by 'messing around', and whoever can meet several different types of teachers in his life will definitely become a talent." ”

My son nodded, and seemed to agree with me a little. At the same time, reality once again manifests something that is too rigid, which is not good for the development of everything.

In the fourth week of winter vacation, just two days into it, my son's dissatisfaction with the fixed study plan exploded. That morning, due to special reasons, his study time was delayed, after lunch my son was playing outside the door, I called home to let him do his homework, he refused, I angrily said a few more words. He said angrily:

"Adults' business is a thing, but children's business is not! You delayed my study time in the morning, but now it's my time to play! Why do children have to follow the rules of adults? It's so unfair! Especially in the afternoon, the training has interrupted my play with others many times, and it is your job to train middle school students to participate in competitions, but I am a primary school student!"

No matter how noisy my son was, I ignored him, and he had to make up his study plan and finish his homework before going to play. At this time, there were a few children outside the window from time to time, and the son's resentment became even greater, he said: "I hate that winter vacation schedule! How many times have I been happy to be interrupted by the regulations! How many times have I slept in the morning just when I was woken up by the regulations! If I study like this, I will be taught to death sooner or later!"

"Study, learn," I said, "Wang Xile, how much time do you put into studying? Compared to other children, you are so pitiful!"

In fact, my son's words shocked my heart. It shows that the child has used his actions to resist the existing way of learning, which is the most hurtful thing about learning. At the same time, my son dared to lose his temper with me, which shows that he has a new trust in the family's right to speak, and how to use compromise to guide this new rebellious force to the right path is the most important thing at the moment. I said, "Can you finish today's homework?"

"Yes. ”

"How much?"

"Evening. ”

"Good. You go playing."

The son is gone. I sat at my desk and couldn't stop asking myself, is this the result of studying Wei Shusheng? Wei Shusheng succeeded, and I basically studied all the books that introduced Wei Shusheng, and they were very detailed, so why did they fail?

One afternoon, my mind was full of Wei Shusheng's methods for educating students, and I asked myself: Did I use the methods of older children to solve the problems of young children? Did I use adult methods to solve children's problems?

My approach was concrete, and it failed miserably. This month is the month in which I have devoted the most effort to my son's education. In order for my son to improve in his studies, I disrupted the rhythm of my life and urged him to implement the plan. But from the third week onwards, some coercive things were no longer so effective, and by the fourth week the son actually protested against the study plan made by his father, which was never the case. If this situation is for three consecutive years, it is inevitable that the son and his parents will be unhappy and even estranged. It's not worth it to make the child antagonistic to the family for the sake of learning! In the face of a perfect study plan, the son doesn't want to study, what is the problem here?

In the cold air, I walked towards the artificial lake. All kinds of thoughts are violently hedged in the brain. Standing on the shore of the lake, the sun is setting, and the heavy night soon fills the land. A searchlight in the distance makes the way home clear in the dark.

The light made me feel intimate, and my brain suddenly lit up, "It's so stinky, it's really stinky", and I slapped my face. After thinking about Wei Shusheng for an afternoon, he thought about some trivial teaching skills, Wei Shusheng first had a beneficial exchange with the students, he used his ideas to infiltrate the students, and then produced an educational effect, which is the core of Wei Shusheng's education. This core is not laid out in the light like teaching techniques, but exists in an invisible.

When I think about this, I feel extremely happy. I realized that my son and I were enslaved by the learning techniques of Wei Shusheng's education movement. I realized why so many people failed to learn from Wei Shusheng. We also realize that Wei Shusheng's legend has disrupted my initiative to face the reality and analyze the problem, and I always want to directly solve the problems faced by children's growth through Wei Shusheng's methods, which is an evil for children's progress.

Man is an emotional animal. The cultivation of unconscious emotions is the theme song of education, because unconscious emotions can make people understand the connection between heaven and earth, and it is far more than what textbooks bring to the growth of children's souls. Once a child has this unconscious emotion, he will care about the heavens and the earth, and thus draw nourishment for his progress from every corner of life. This unconscious emotion is not something that books can give.

Alas, Wei Shusheng did just that, he liked martial arts, and their students ran long distances in the morning and afternoon every day, no matter how hot or cold it was.

At this time, it was dark, but my heart was bright.

At ten o'clock in the evening, my son came home. He quickly went to the desk to finish his homework, walked over with his homework book and said, "Dad, the homework is done." ”

"Joy, you are a child who keeps his promises, from today onwards, the winter vacation study plan made by Dad for you will not be implemented, and you will rearrange your study life according to your own situation. ”

"Dad, did today's incident make you angry?"

"Not really. The winter vacation study plan is made by Dad, and you are the one who learns. One hour a day of study was set by you in the first grade, and Dad was just urging rather than deciding. ”

"So I can be as flexible as I used to?"

"Yes. Hopefully, you will always have a purpose in mind. ”

"Definitely. I will try to complete all the study tasks in one hour. The son said excitedly.