The 14th of January is the day of the elementary school holiday. The son went home and said regretfully that he didn't have others with grades, and if he took the exam, he would definitely be able to get a high score, and he was honored to let the teacher praise the whole class.

"Do you get good grades in school just to get praise from your teacher, and if you don't praise your teacher, you won't study?" I was stunned for a moment and said, "Learning is the key to mastering the treasure trove of success, and if you can flexibly apply knowledge in practice, you will learn to create, and you will have the ability to survive." For example, if you start learning Chinese from literacy, to now be able to express your ideas concisely in essays is to create and prepare for future survival, which is the purpose of learning, not to get anyone's praise. ”

"But a teacher's praise is very proud. ”

"That pride is what I often tell you about vanity. You remember – too much simple praise and people lose the ability to help themselves, self-love, and self-affirmation. I said, "You've made a lot of progress this semester, so let's plan how to write your winter vacation homework first." Dad has only one request: you are not allowed to finish all your homework in a few days in a hurry, and you must divide your homework evenly among each day. ”

"Dad, during the winter vacation, I still insisted on studying for one hour and reciting for ten minutes every day, but the study time should not be too strict. The son said right away, as if he had already thought it through.

"Why?"

"I must have played a lot of things this holiday, and there are a lot of sleeping times in other people's houses, and the rules are too strict, and I am afraid that I will not be able to do it. ”

"What do you think?"

"If I sleep at my own house at night and I finish my study tasks the next morning, if I sleep at someone else's house, I finish my study tasks at other times that day, and I don't know if my father agrees or not?"

"It requires a lot of self-control. Can you control yourself?"

"I think it's possible. The son replied very resolutely.

"Since you feel you can manage yourself, do what you want. ”

"Dad, I have one more request. ”

"What do you want?"

"It's a holiday, there is more time, and there should be more time to play games, right?"

"Joy, no matter how simple things are, if you can persevere, it is not simple, and if you persist, people's self-control will increase. If the children of the whole country have self-control, the 'unexpected brutality' of the Japanese massacre of China will not be repeated. ”

"Well, play three more times a week. "This time, I changed my habit of bargaining.

For children who can enjoy freedom, the school is like a bird spreading its wings to soar in the blue sky, and it is also a full manifestation of the original life principle. On the first day of the holiday, my son went to his brother and sister's house in Jiyan Community to play, and I didn't see him back for two days, and on the evening of the third day, I called him to ask if he could write his homework, and he said that his study plan started from the fourth day. By noon on the fourth day, my son ran back to do his homework, and the one-hour study plan was implemented, but it didn't work after a week. That afternoon, I called my son back from my brother's house, and I asked, "I haven't done my homework in a few days?"

"Two days. ”

"You've let your self-control beat you again. Read 'Unexpected Brutality' again. I said angrily.

As soon as my son finished reading, he quickly wrote his homework. In less than ten o'clock, the delayed task was completed. "Joy, you have a strong sense of action, why don't you insist on it. I kissed my son on the forehead and said.

"Dad, I'll talk to you," said the son, "and I want to go to my brother's house to sleep." ”

"Why?"

"I'm playing fun stuff with my brother. ”

"You don't affect the rest of the aunt?"

"No, we played in my brother's bedroom. When I came, my brother said let me write quickly. He waited for me. ”

"A man is to keep his promises. There you go. ”

At that time, I didn't want my son to go out at all, but reading the diary he had just written made me suddenly change my mind, and I felt that every child is born with the potential to educate themselves, but they need practice to grow up. As soon as my son left, my wife "scolded" me. I picked up my son's notebook and read, "Today, I haven't memorized ancient texts for two days. I flipped it open and looked, oh my God, so many.

I don't know why, what I used to be able to memorize after reading a few times, now I can't read it a dozen times. I feel that my mind is different from the original, and my brain seems to have changed, which affects the learning effect. I can't make excuses to delay my study tasks in the future. Today's work must be done today. ”

My son's diary alleviated my wife's blame for me.

But what happened to my son's diary about memorizing ancient texts? Here's the thing: There is an old Chinese saying: "If you can memorize 300 Tang poems, you can also chant if you can't compose poems." "I saw that my son could memorize almost 300 poems, but an incident in early January 2003 completely changed my cognition. On that day, a few junior high school students were reciting ancient poems in front of the middle school building, and I said that I still memorized such poems in the third year of junior high school, and my son was already familiar with them in the second grade of primary school. The students quarreled together:

"Alas, Mr. Wang won't tell you that when you go to elementary school, who can't memorize two or three hundred poems, and now forget all of them. ”

At that time, my thoughts flew up: I had forgotten all the things I had memorized, and I was leading the children to run on their path of failure. "I can memorize 300 Tang poems, and I can't compose poems and chant them. "Probably true for adults. But for his son, what about the shadow of poetry? Maybe the son is young, but what about the group of middle school students in front of him? It seems that "he can memorize 300 Tang poems, and he can't compose poems and chant them." This sentence is not true for the child, because the child cannot have a trace of understanding of the extremely deep emotions in the poem.

The purpose of letting children memorize things is to develop memory skills. If a child's understanding of life has not yet reached that level, is it suspected of satisfying the vanity of adults to blindly ask him to memorize poems with strong emotions? It seems that some things in memory training must be adjusted. When I went home that afternoon, I said that I didn't memorize ancient poems for memory training, and my son asked suspiciously, "Why don't you memorize ancient poems?"

"Recite ancient texts. Because many ancient texts are wonderful stories. "My voice was calm and kind.

"I heard that ancient texts are particularly difficult, so it's better to memorize ancient poems. I love to memorize ancient poems!" The son's voice was low, and his words were a little slurred, as if his confidence in carrying things had suddenly disappeared.

"Joy, ancient texts are similar to ancient poems, not as difficult as you say. ”

The son's eyes were still melancholy. This happens a lot in the learning process, but this time it is a little violent, which really reflects the innate resistance of every child to book learning, and I then said, "Joy, do you love meat?"

"Love to eat. ”

"If you are asked to eat meat every day, do you still like it?"

"No, it won't. It's too greasy to eat meat every day. ”

"Do you want to get tired of carrying things?"

"I don't want to. ”

"Carrying things is the same as eating meat, and repeatedly reciting a type of thing is not good for the memory nerves, and it will get greasy. ”

"That's right. ”

"Have you memorized ancient texts?"

"Nope. ”

"Then how do you know that ancient texts are difficult to memorize?"

"It's from other people. ”

"Just listen to others and say that you can grow your skills if you don't practice it? Think about what the story of 'Pony Crossing the River' says?"

"Small, horse, cross, river. The son muttered.

"Do you think we should try to memorize ancient texts?"

"Try it, try it. "Son, keep purring.

This is the ancient text. I found a junior high school language book from the bookshelf and said.

"'Wolves'. Dad, didn't you say that every ancient text is a wonderful story? Tell me the story of the wolf. ”

Boys have a natural penchant for things with violent implications. I'm trying to finish telling the story of the wolf.

"That's great! It looks like you have to learn how to use your brain to do everything. ”

"Since it sounds good, let's memorize it. ”

"It's so long!"

"How many words are there in ancient poems?"

"Forty-two to fifty-six words are the most poems. ”

"According to the passages of the ancient text, you can memorize forty words at a time and fifty words at a time. Memorize a paragraph every day and try to memorize it in the shortest possible time to improve your memory. ”

"Dad, a few words in a paragraph should also be counted as a paragraph, because it is also a paragraph. ”

It seems that children are born with a dislike of book learning. I said, "Of course. But you have to guarantee 40 words. ”

"Yay, that's great!" cried out his son.

I helped my son recognize all the words, and in ten minutes, he basically completed the memorization of 50 words.

"Look how well you memorize ancient texts. I said in an accentuated tone.

My son didn't react to my compliments. And he will be very proud when he is praised in the past. This reminds me of the last time the award-winning son took the initiative not to celebrate, it was by no means a whim, it shows that the child is having his own heart, and what he needs is greater affirmation, but where is this affirmation?

"Reciting ancient texts is similar to memorizing ancient poems, ancient poems are smooth, and ancient texts are not smooth. The son talked about his thoughts on carrying things.

"Joy, after that, ten minutes at noon every day will become a memorization of ancient texts?" I asked.

"Okay. The son said, "Dad, I have memorized the ancient poems at noon today, and the ancient poems I memorize now will be counted as tomorrow." If I carry it again tomorrow, I'll suffer!?"

My son's words made me silent all of a sudden, and the five meridians and six veins felt stagnant, but the brain thinking jumped to a new height, and there was only one sentence in my mind: children are born with hatred and disgust for book learning. I touched his head and said:

"Okay. Count tomorrow. ”

The son became excited, and this very divine excitement immediately spread throughout his body. He said, "I'm going to do my homework, and I don't have to carry anything at noon tomorrow to have a good time." ”

"It's all crazy and can't get enough of it. The wife said.

"How can a little doll have enough. Play is the power of the little doll. The son replied.

"Listen, listen," said the wife, leaning forward, twisting her son's ear, "don't be poor." Just like you. Write your homework quickly, and the test score is the most important thing. ”

At this point, a strong instinct struck me: the previous strategy of avoiding scores to strengthen children's memory skills was correct. Today, when he memorizes ancient texts so easily, it at least shows that he has a kind of ability, what is this implication? If we compare a child to an innate perfect learning machine. If something goes wrong with learning, it's like a machine has a problem. Is it to blame the machine for being bad or for the bad raw materials? Now that more and more children have given up learning in middle school, many parents blindly complain about the school, the teachers, and the society, and use transfer and pressure to get their children to love learning again. Obviously, this behavior is due to a problem with the machine and blindly blaming the raw materials. What is the turning point of the problem? This question is not clear, and no one dares to guarantee that their children will be able to overcome the difficulties and embark on the wrong path in the future.