Chapter 163: Mist

I and the little expert after all, after all, is not happy, perhaps because everyone finally does not have to reluctantly get together, I talked, and finally became unwelcome, the little expert said that it is not bad, although some of the unobtrusive always show off their unlocking skills, but get along with each other every day, do not feel annoying, but some things, not get along well can be reluctant, everyone thinks about different things, no matter how to accommodate to run-in, always not all the way.

Turned his face and had a gap in his heart, there was nothing worth saying a few more words, everyone didn't talk much this night, TV became the most suitable tool to keep silent, everyone's eyes stared at the messy programs on TV, silently went to bed at more than ten o'clock and spent a night, the next morning at five o'clock, I really couldn't sleep I simply got up, but saw Zhang Deli sitting by the window looking at the slightly bright sky outside motionless, as if it was like watching all night.

"You say, will the sun rise today?" I was stunned for a long time, and suddenly heard Zhang Deli say such a sentence in a low voice.

"Doesn't the sun rise as usual every day?" I frowned, looked at Zhang Deli's back suspiciously, and felt that something was wrong with him, last night until he went to bed, he was silent, and occasionally met my eyes a few times, he also faintly avoided the past, I thought that this guy had made up his mind until the ticket was finished and he would not speak.

"Not every day the sun is called the sun. Zhang Deli sighed softly, turned around, looked into my eyes, in this dawn when there was not much light, in the thick darkness, his eyes flashed slightly, and then sank into the dark night like a meteor, only the voice drifted in the room, I heard him say: "When I see this sun in the future, I will be alone." ”

"Alone?" I smiled bitterly, and couldn't help but feel a little sad in my heart, although everyone turned their faces, but after all, there were still some past friendships, I read the past, and the little expert never forgot, but we all thought that Zhang Deli forgot, his silence made us have to face it silently, but at this time, I found out that in fact, he is not so cold-blooded, at least he remembers some things, at least at this time, he will remember those days together.

"It's not a sad day, it's all the same anyway. Zhang Deli lit a cigarette, and then the flicker of the cigarette butt, I saw a faint smile on his face, he smiled, there was a bit of self-deprecation in his tone, and he sighed softly and said: "Anyway, everyone will eventually become more or less people, in this circle, as long as they go on, sooner or later, they will be the same." ”

"Are you a man?" I can't help but be a little sarcastic, at my age, in fact, there are still some rebellions, even more than when I was fifteen or sixteen years old, I didn't have much knowledge at that time, but I intuitively felt that what those adults said was not very right, now I have just seen the society, I thought of many explanations that I never thought of, and I also have some expectations for my future self, naturally I will not agree with Zhang Deli What everyone will change the same, not to mention, he is no longer the man in my heart who has been walking all the way on the bright road, and now he shamelessly makes me look down on him, so a simple sentence will make the hard-won friendship of the past become fragmented, the rest is just disdain, I sneered and said: "Are you such a despicable person, who keeps saying that you want to bring light to everyone?"

"Bai Mu, did you ever think about what you are like now?" Zhang Deli smiled lightly, as if he didn't feel embarrassed by what I said, just raised his head, looked at my eyes and said lightly: "You back then, would you like you now?"

"Me back then?" I was stunned for a moment, I couldn't help but feel a burst of annoyance, I felt that he was messing around, and said angrily: "How can I be back then, when I was studying, who would think about the future, thank God after finishing my homework!"

"Your ideals, everybody has had ideals, no matter when, or simply, what you want, what kind of person you want to become, it's like, when you were a child, you said, you want to be a scientist. Zhang Deli smiled faintly: " When I was in elementary school, I might want to be a scientist, and when I was in middle school, I would envy those children in the upper grades who could be rampant, and then I was older, and when I got to high school, I saw my classmates who were in early love and maybe wanted someone to hold hands？”

"My family is in good condition. I frowned, shook my head and said: "I don't envy those classmates who have good family conditions, the most students spend is computers and mobile phones, and they will not be like those in society who want good cars, good watches and good clothes, at least in the freshman year, everyone will not think about these things." ”

"But you always think about something, right?" Zhang Deli asked with a faint smile: "Even if it is something else, your hobby, something you usually like but can't do well and can't get." ”

"I have a classmate who has better equipment than me in online games, and I thought about it for a long time, but those things are too expensive and I can't afford them. I was a little impatient, and casually said something from my college days to deal with it, and after saying it, I regretted it a little, for fear that Zhang Deli would say something I envied that classmate behind the desire for some money, and hurriedly added: "Those things are not interesting to spend money to buy, it's not worth it, if I grit my teeth, I can buy it." ”

"Have you ever thought about this world, about darkness or light?" Zhang Deli finally laughed, seeing that I was stunned for a moment, the smile on his face became even stronger, shook his head, and said to himself: "I'm afraid I haven't even thought about it at all, right?"

"What do you want to do?" I jumped up from the bed angrily and said: "Who plans to be a bad person in the future, and go to work and live like everyone normally, isn't it a neuresis to say that he wants to save the world, save the country and save the people at that time?"

"So you never wanted to be a good person of value. The smile on Zhang Deli's face became deeper, and he said lightly: " What you want is to become like everyone, but those who always want to live their own life and other irresponsible lives, they have nothing to do with the light, occasionally they will help someone when they are in a good mood, and occasionally they will break the rules of the world because of what they want, they will go to cut in line, go back to take advantage of small advantages, they will secretly do some small bad things, they wander in the gray area between light and darkness, and then say, they are a good person, this is everyone, every hypocritical, irresponsible, worthless person in this world, so in the end, everyone is the same, everyone is thisYou are like that, and sometimes, I am too. ”

"If you are a person like everyone, I am afraid that the world will be too peaceful a long time ago!" This funny sentence made me can't help but sneer, and sneered: "Even if they have no value to the world, they will not make the world worse because of trivial things, and every step you take is making the world a little darker, you look at your partners indifferently, and want them to become the same as you, don't you feel ashamed to say this kind of thing?"

"Compared to those who push the world into dire straits, what are my things?" Zhang Deli laughed, shook his head and said: " I'm just letting hundreds of thousands of people live worse than death, but where can those executioners whose hands are stained with the blood of hundreds of thousands of people and millions of people look up to these things I do, compared to them, these things of mine are really not worth mentioning, we do all small things, so small that there is no difference at all, something big with a grain of rice, compared to a grape, is too small, but you take a watermelon out, these two, what are they, and what is the difference?"

"Then everyone won't do anything, so what's the use of these things you do?" I sneered and mocked: "Since it's all small and worthless things, if you do it, you won't change anything, if you don't do it, it's just that, so what are you doing? Don't you think it's ridiculous when you say this?"

"I have ideals, you don't. Zhang Deli restrained his smile, looked at me very seriously and said: " Bai Mu, you have never thought about what kind of person you want to be, until now, you are doing almost everyone, you don't care about the world, and even feel that all you do, do it or not, there is no difference, one day, you will become a person who is similar to everyone else, I used to think that there is nothing I have changed in this world, so I became everyone, until I met Mr., met them, I suddenly realized that I can do something to change the world, I can not be everyone, as long as there are ideals, as long as I move forward with ideals, one dayI can make the world more different because of me, but where are your ideals, what is the difference between you now and you in the past, even if you have learned something and can take care of something for yourself, but have these things made you different?"

"Even so. I sneered sarcastically: "I don't think you have an ideal will be better than everyone like me, your ideal is to use all the despicable means to use everyone you meet, let them become your pawns, even if we are leaving, don't forget to bury some futs and let us follow the path you planned, your ideals, is it really rare?"

"I found out so quickly. Zhang Deli was stunned for a moment, then quickly laughed, shook his head and said: " I do intend to make your future path closer to me, you are the person that Mr. fancies, if you want to get some status in the dark ink, it is not difficult, with you among us, I can always get some opportunities that I couldn't get originally, but even so, I still haven't thought about letting you be my pawn, this is a trick of Mr. and He Qi, not my style, what I want is a white wood with some ideals to move forward, not you like this now. ”

"What a joke. I couldn't help but laugh out loud and sneered: " If you want me to move forward, you will use means to deal with me, I used to worship you as a brother to follow, thinking that one day I can repay these days when you took care of me, but I categorically did not expect that from the beginning, what you thought about was completely different things, I thought that even if everyone thought about things differently, but there was also a warmth in it, but you, but until now, you have not given up to use me, say such things to me, don't you think it's ridiculous, Mr. forced Lao Saburo to be involuntary again and again, is it the same thing, is it the same thing, is it every time you use others, trample them under your feet, just because you want them to become better, you took a knife and robbed other people's things, but what did you say in order to let them learn to better protect their property in the future, Zhang Deli, if you put it in the Warring States, I am afraid that even Zhang Yi and Su Qin will be inferior to you!"

"Where do you understand the cruelty of this world!" Zhang Deli was finally angry by my sarcasm, and a lunge rushed in front of me, looking closely into my eyes, his eyes flashed as cold as a cannibal waiting for a man, which made my heart tense at once, and then, his angry voice came from my ears:" If it weren't for me, how could you possibly understand that even the closest people can't be trusted, if it weren't for me, how would you put away your useless flood of compassion, if it weren't for me, one day, you would be eaten by the man you never forgot and not even have a bone left, he would make you die, he would watch you swallow your last breath in pain and remorse, and then laugh and throw you on the side of the road like a dog, you don't understand at all, who are you with, I'm just a lost dog, they, they are hungry wolves, the most terrifying hungry wolves in the world！”

"Why, how could it be like this..." Zhang Deli's anger and roar made me stunned speechless, I heard him talk about Mr., but those words, after Zhang Deli did that kind of thing, I don't believe it at all, maybe Mr. is indeed a little unbearable, indeed a little contradictory, indeed a little crazy, but I can't forget that when I was most helpless, only Mr. stretched out a hand to me in the dark, if there was no him, there would be no me now, this is a life-saving kindness, I will never forget, and now the man in Zhang Deli's mouth, besides Mr., who can be, he, how can he do that kind of thing？

"I know that He Qi has looked for you, and he told me about this. Zhang Deli was silent for a long time, and after a long sigh, he said slowly: " Among our people, only he is considered normal, you follow him, you can always live a little better, some things, in the end, no matter what you do, it is the same, fate cannot be changed, although that guy's brain is wrong, but there is a sentence I still like, he said that we can't change the ending of fate, but at least we can make the process of fate come different, but, don't think about any sir anymore, sir, in fact, I have always been there, it's just that I want to stay away from him. ”

"What the hell are you talking about?" I couldn't help but ask: "What did he do, you want me to stay away from him, after all, he saved my life, if he wants to take it back, I will give it to him, if it weren't for him, I would have been a pile of bones now." ”

"You don't understand, Shiraki, you don't understand. Zhang Deli's tone became miserable, and he lowered his head and muttered: "A life is nothing at all, death is death, the most painful thing is to live, but I'm still alive..."

"Only when you live can there be hope, isn't it?" This is the first time I have seen Zhang Deli's frustration and despair, which makes me feel a little sympathetic to him, I understand that behind his words there are many unknown and even never known stories, these stories, buried in Zhang Deli's heart, may be buried like this forever, but I don't want to see the most important person around me become like this, I can't bear to whisper like this.

"Hope is the scariest thing. Zhang Deli raised his head, smiled bitterly, and said self-deprecatingly: " I'm really dizzy to tell you this, how to go on the road, how I do it, I can't change it, it's all the same, it's all your own way, you follow the surname He, it's not bad to go as you like, these ideals of mine are all things that lie to people, you just listen to it, in our circle, you also understand that some things you say too much, you will even deceive yourself, talk about it, get used to saying it like this, today, after doing this game, you can go, you can go anywhere, you can do anything, live, just be happy, anyway, it's all the same。 ”

"What the hell are you talking about!" I finally couldn't help but yell, shouting: "Am I an idiot who looks like I'm going to live a few days, we'll always see each other, if you weren't self-righteous and say those words, wouldn't everyone be good!"

"It's too slow, it's too slow to follow me. Zhang Deli laughed miserably, shook his head and said: "If you want not to be cut down, you can only grow big and thick enough, but you, follow me, grow too slowly, where can the flowers in the greenhouse withstand the wind and rain." ”

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