When I saw He Yulu's figure disappear into the dim corridor, I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, I opened my mouth wide, I wanted to cry, but I couldn't make any sound, and my grief had drowned everything.

I thought that since Yulu would come down to see me, she would care about me and explain to me.

Even if she has something to delay, she will definitely explain it to me, and I have a feeling that He Yulu will definitely care about me.

However, when she was far away from me through the glass, I realized that the gap between us was so far away, and He Yulu was so far away.

Nothing between us could be exchanged for a word of greeting and concern from her.

However, the reality is that He Yulu didn't even give me a chance to talk to each other.

Once again, my faith was ruthlessly torn apart, trampled on, and ravaged, and it was so incomplete, even if I hid in a corner.

This simple door is like an insurmountable chasm between us.

When meeting has become a luxury, then the rest, I'm afraid, is only a fantasy.

I softened and collapsed to the ground, and Lin Zhenhai's shadow flashed in front of me.

I hate myself very much in my heart, I hate myself, can't I even compare to someone like Lin Zhenhai?

There are countless people like Lin Zhenhai in the world, although he has never done anything illegal, but this kind of person is a person who makes everyone hate and hate, even if everyone sneers at him, but his life is so like a fish in water, more than ten times better than me.

I'm a little confused, is this life?

I fumbled in my pocket, and the cigarette was already gone.

I could only sit in a daze, I couldn't tell how long I had been sitting, only that the night was very quiet, and the silence was terrible.

I suddenly became confused about what I was pursuing for.

Dreams, love, family, friendship......

The dream is far away from me, that's what I once pursued, and that's just the past. How do I grasp love, I am now flocking to him, and the only constant may be family and friendship.

The wind blew through my bones, and I shivered.

Maybe what I can do is let go, there is a kind of love called letting go, maybe only I let go, how can a dying person have love? Maybe only let go, He Yulu can be happy.

Or He Yulu didn't care about me at all, just my YY.

I stood up, and suddenly it was very calm, the night was very deep, the wind stopped, and there was no sound around, and I stood up, and gradually walked away, out of the gate of the community.

I clenched my fists and kept silently saying not to look back, not to look back.

If you don't look back, maybe you can give it up, right?

As I walked out of the gate of the community with heavy steps, I panicked into the taxi on the side of the road.

It turned out that I wanted to escape so much, to escape myself, to escape from reality.

Sometimes, even if you want to escape, you can't help yourself!

I looked into the car and wondered what was wrong, but I found that there was no one in the car, and I smiled wryly, it turned out that there was no driver, but I was singing a one-man show alone.

After waiting for a while, I only got out of the car in frustration.

It seems that God has blacklisted me, and I am unlucky to do anything.

When I opened the car door, I couldn't help but look at the dark night sky.

The night was so deep, everyone had slept peacefully, and at this moment, only one window in the upper part was still lit, and He Yulu's family lived in that building.

It was so dazzling, I was attracted at first sight, I looked closely, there was a figure in the window, I couldn't see it really, but I could see that she had been lying there, motionless, looking down.

I thought to myself, is that person He Yulu?

I shook my head again, if He Yulu really cared about me so much, how could I be so upset with He Yulu between me and him?

I fantasized that the person lying on the windowsill was He Yulu, she was smiling at me, and I imagined silently.

"Hey, is it a taxi?" suddenly a man shouted as he walked up to the car.

I saw that it was an uncle in a yellow vest, who should be the driver, so I nodded quickly and got into the car.

I talked to the driver about H Central Hospital, where Brother Long was still waiting for me, and Ning Meixuan was already taken care of by Zhang Zhi, so there was no need to worry.

When the car started, I looked up at the window again, but it was pitch black in the sky, and I couldn't see anything, and it was very late at night.

My heart was lost for a while, even if I knew that person could not be He Yulu in my heart, but I still had a glimmer of hope in my heart, or comforted myself, so that I could have a little comfort, but when I couldn't deceive myself, the only thing left might be pain and loss.

The car travels, weaving through the endless darkness.

The driver handed me a cigarette, which I took but didn't smoke.

Outside the H City Hospital, when the driver left, I was plunged into endless darkness, although there were still dim street lights to guide me.

Such a noisy hospital is also deserted at the moment, except for the lights on, there is also a trace of warmth.

I grabbed the cigarette in my hand and snuffed it off, maybe it was time for me to quit.

If smoke can withstand loneliness and sorrow, I guess I won't be able to live without smoke for a second.

But I know it can't.

The reality is already like this, I'm already so lonely, since I can't deceive myself, why bother pinning all this on cigarettes?

Cigarettes only blind me and make me think that I am not lonely, but the more I smoke, the more lonely I become. Every time I smoke, I always have the most pain, and I think, maybe I really have to face all this, face this cowardly self, and overcome it!

I took a deep breath and walked towards the hospital.

The hallway was silent, except for the sound of my slow and heavy footsteps and the sound of my uneasy heartbeat.

Walking outside the ward, I paused, rubbed my face, and made myself a little more comfortable.

I smiled, kept that smile, and walked into the room.

Brother Long fell asleep on that hospital bed.

I remembered how they looked when I woke up this morning, and how could I not see that Brother Long hadn't slept all night? If it hadn't been for the fact that he hadn't slept all night, how could Brother Long, who had always been bright, have no energy and his eyes are dull?

However, in the face of the best brothers, I can't say, maybe in my heart, we will feel better for each other.

Ning Meixuan already knew about my illness.

Maybe Brother Long and Zhang Zhi already know it, but they don't want to say it yet, and they can't bear to say it, Brother Long's face is full of twitching expression, how can I not know that it is heartache?

Who would want their best brother to have an accident?

Maybe God is fair, and what has left me is those unchanging brotherhood, but I have always made these brothers feel heartache.

I choked up, smiled, wiped my tears, and just took it one step at a time, otherwise I would only lose myself the more I thought about it.

I took a deep breath and patted Brother Long.

Brother Long rubbed his loose eyes, looked at me, and then habitually stretched out his fist to knock me, this is our brother's meeting gift, and Zhang Zhi and I are like this.

I kept a smile on my face, but when Brother Long raised his fist, he instantly paused and was stunned in mid-air.

Brother Long immediately stood up and withdrew his fist.

My smile froze instantly, and Brother Long looked at me with a deep apology.

At that time, I was still a little puzzled, why Brother Long was so outside, and then I understood that Brother Long was afraid of hurting this patient brother.

Thinking of a big grin, usually five big and three thick big man so careful and soft to me, my heart was torn apart.

I smiled, but told myself, don't cry!

I stretched out my fist, with a false smile, knocked on Brother Long's chest, and asked in a choked voice: "Why is Brother Long still working so hard so late, thinking about your brother?

I said half-jokingly.

Brother Long kept a straight face, grabbed my fist, stared at me expressionlessly, and said, "Do you know?"

I was suddenly startled and distraught, so I quickly withdrew my hand and asked, "What?

Brother Long looked at me for a long time and didn't speak.

Suddenly, Brother Long took out a bank card, patted me on the shoulder and said, "There are 100,000 yuan here, and my brother doesn't have much savings, but don't worry, my brother has been borrowing for the past few days, and he will definitely be able to borrow it!"

I understand that Brother Long is talking about my illness, and I can basically confirm the conjecture just now, Brother Long and Zhang Zhi already know about my illness.

However, I remembered that Brother Long is a family man, 100,000 yuan is all the savings for Brother Long, and Brother Long's family relies on Brother Long to support himself, there is no money left in a year, and the restaurant needs money to operate, and the 100,000 yuan is estimated to be borrowed by Brother Long.

I almost burst into tears, but I tried to choke on.

I pushed the bank card back and said, "Brother Long originally said that I was sick, and the doctor said that I was too weak, just rest for a few days and eat more good food, what are you doing?"

"Don't play tricks on me, take it, quickly!" Brother Long didn't say much with a straight face, just cheered me to put it away.

But I know that I can't ask for this, I've given up on myself, I can't let my best brother lose his happy family for my sake of that illusory hope.

"Brother, I have money, I don't have any money, how can I ask you to break the bank!" I said as I took out the bank card that Ning Meixuan handed over to me and shook it into the air.

"How much money is this?" Brother Long frowned and looked at the card in my hand.

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"The gold card is a card that can only be obtained by large enterprises or particularly wealthy people, and it can't be done without tens of millions of assets, it is a symbol of status, you kid!" Brother Long suddenly smiled, looking at this card with some relief.

"Really?" I scratched my head, even more confused, if it was really as Brother Long said, then this card was indeed very strange, according to Ning Meixuan's family situation, she couldn't get this card. Brother Long has a wide range of knowledge, and it doesn't seem like he is telling a lie, I can't figure it out.

"Your kid must have made a lot of money, no wonder? Okay, now your kid is saved. Brother Long was a little excited, grabbing my arm.

"Then Brother Long, hurry up and put the card away!" I didn't expect to deceive Brother Long by mistake.

"Okay, then I'll keep it first, and then I can use Brother Long's place to speak at any time. Brother Long patted me on the shoulder.

"It's so late, Brother Long hurry back, don't let your sister-in-law worry. I said.

"Then I'll come back to see you tomorrow. Take care of your illness and call me if you have anything. Brother Long said.

"Don't worry, I'm fine, when did I become such a mother-in-law, haha, let's go. "I pushed Brother Long out of the ward.

I was the only one left in the long silent night, and it was very late.

Suddenly there was so silence around me, I was suddenly very uncomfortable, Ning Meixuan used to accompany me, so I didn't seem so lonely, but when I was really alone and quiet, I was so flustered.

I put away my messy heart, took the time to hide myself under the covers, and slept with my head covered.

When I opened my eyes, it was already the next day, but it was not yet dawn, but I was no longer sleepy.

When I got out of bed, the shadow of He Yulu floated in my mind again, I was restless again, I thought no, I must go to see He Yulu, even if it was a glance in the corner.

I hurriedly walked out of the hospital, and the people on the street started a busy day again, and I took a car to He Yulu's house.