476. Not God
Faceling says:
"Haven't I always been by your side? Miss Nelly, have you forgotten that I am you, and always have been, that I am your unwanted idea, that I was born of madness and derangement, that you and the world have shaped me. ”
Nelly asked:
"What are you looking for me for?"
The Faceling chuckled:
"What is the purpose of a person talking to himself? Do normal people need a reason to think? I am you, not that I found it, but that you want to see me, so we met.
"I'm not a monster, I'm you, Nelly, why do you fantasize me to be the prisoner who killed your father? ”
Nelly asked:
"Then why do you want to go to someone else and become a spreading disease. ”
He shook his head, then reached out and rubbed his face, revealing Nelly's own face:
"I spread the disease? I didn't do anything, I'm a part of you, I don't know more about that phenomenon than you do?
"I'm just imagining in your head, if someone has a problem, that person will only be yourself, and it's never me who gets sick, it's you.
"There's no special reason for you to see me, and there's no meaning, not everything in the world is meaningful, Nelly, you know. ”
Nelly asked:
"Then why are you using my father's appearance......"
The fake Nelly replied:
"I didn't put on your father's appearance, it was you who imagined me to be my father, and you twisted me into a shapeshifter, and I never escaped your palm from beginning to end.
"You're the one who is angry, you're the one who is crazy, and I want to get you on the right path, but I'm gradually discovering that I don't have what it takes to save you.
"The reason why you will see me is simply that you have fainted, your consciousness is sinking, you are approaching places that are not normally accessible, but have always existed, we are in the depths of your mind, in the palace of consciousness that you have built yourself. ”
Nelly muttered:
"I fainted?"
Shapeshifter says:
"You meet a green monster, and then, as usual, you rush up and get knocked out by a tail.
"If it weren't for luck, Hola saved you, you'd be dead.
"Heroes. ”
The Faceling sneered:
"Again and again, do you think that good fortune will always be on your side? kill without Motawi's axe, but without Motawi's axe, you wouldn't even be able to see me.
"Since you rely on it, it's good to admit to relying on it, what so-called rules can you follow, what can you help, if just because of your stubbornness, Hora dies and Enid goes crazy, how are you going to face Herwin, how are you going to face yourself?"
Nelly looked at her hallucinations with calm eyes.
The Faceling continued to ask:
"You know that, right? It's not just your business at all, your chips have never been just your life, so why stick to the bottom line, did that day destroy your sanity and make you a pathetic madman?"
Nelly remained silent.
The Faceling has almost completely transformed into Nelly's form:
"Your father is dead, and I know it's bad because that's my father too, but you have to come out or you're going to make the same mistake......"
Nelly gently persuaded:
"It's not a mistake, I just failed. ”
The hallucinatory expression is full of puzzlement:
"What did you say?"
nelly says:
"I'm not a god, so I'm always going to fail, no one in this world will always win and succeed, but even if we know that lowering the bottom line will make it easier for us to succeed, we need to always remember the line that we don't want to give up.
"Otherwise, we just need to lower the bottom line again and again, and we will never 'fail', right?
"What I know I abide by, maybe in the eyes of some people, is not that important, and even you, that is, myself, will ask myself from time to time, is it really worth it?"
The shapeshifter asked:
"Is it worth it?"
Nelly nodded:
"It's worth it. ”
Shapeshifter says:
"Don't you feel selfish, to put your own friends in more danger in order to make the damned die less badly. ”
nelly says:
"You know, it's not just for them, it's for the sake of the thing.
"I've never put my friends in a more dangerous situation, I'll fight for them until the end, I just didn't do my best, but no one ever did my best.
"It's never a sin to be the best you do, and no one needs to blame yourself for it. ”
The Faceling asked:
"What do you mean?"
nelly says:
"I've never given everything to save others, I only want to save people, and it doesn't matter to me whether they blame me for not giving enough, or even resenting me for not saving everyone.
"I'm not a god, I've never wanted to be a god, it doesn't matter if the world sees me as a god or not, even if they put me on the altar, I'm just human.
"I just need you to understand me. ”