I need a testimony, I need affirmation.

Because I can't see myself myself, I have to act through the words of others in order for me to be affirmed.

Whether this affirmation is positive or negative, it is an acknowledgment of the existence of the character. And I, unconsciously, also regarded myself as the role of Yuan Changwen.

It's really strange, why did the former self never find out about this?

Yuan Changwen recalled the past, and it seemed that his memory was a little vague, and the values at that time seemed to be unclear.

Or, at all, there was never one?

Yuan Changwen smiled, he didn't know what was going on, and he suddenly became relaxed.

Really, obviously I didn't take the first step, and I didn't kill the character yet, but I was so relaxed.

It's a pity, if it was before, I would definitely hold on to this ease, and once I lost it, I would try my best to find it back. Through meditation, through meditation, through abdominal breathing, and so on, the ease will be restored.

Now, hehe, that's all that's left.

I haven't gotten rid of the role, I'm still playing with the role, what's the point of this ease?

Unexpectedly, in the end, it was really empty. In addition to the understanding of these theories, I can't get rid of the role at all.

Perceptions, perceptions of the world, perceptions of events, just keep distorting me. Any opinion is self-defined, all to distinguish others from oneself, that is, not true at all.

Where did you get so many opinions, I appreciate your opinions, and you should also appreciate my opinions. Have we ever fooled each other like this, fed each other's characters like this?

I've never seen the world as it is, and every time I look at something, a series of words pop out of my head. Name, characteristic, color, usefulness, material, location...... Aside from that, that's what things should be.

The brain is so noisy that it can never stop making loud noises.

I don't want to have any view of the world anymore, and if I don't have an opinion, I just look at the world simply.

Think about the past, for the kind of people with good brains, I was particularly envious. What looks at the same thing, and then a lot of clues can be analyzed in an instant, comparable to a humanoid intelligent brain.

But now it seems that this is blasphemy against the world! What are we flaunting?

If it's going to make me mentally retarded, if it's going to make me have no emotional intelligence to speak of, then so be it, I don't want to have any deeper contact with the crowd.

Perhaps, it is enough to look at the appearance and admire the masterpiece of the Creator.

It's all noise, whether it's the beauty of the soul or the evil of the soul, it's noise. Who will distinguish between good and evil, who will obey this good and evil, and to cling to self-definition is to be bound by roles.

So, what is the difference between a character's attributes being good or evil?

Noise!

My mind has not been quiet. Friends, family, heads of state, etc., countless people are piled up in my head like acting in a ghost movie.

Everything has to be considered for them, and it seems that I am making decisions for myself, but in fact, I am making decisions for them at all. I don't need them to appear in front of me, I don't need them to point fingers at me, it's enough for them in my head.

They only exist in my head.

"If I do this, what will happen to my mother?"

"If I quit my job, will my parents be worried?"

"If I don't succeed, my colleagues will definitely laugh at me. ”

"Those who despise me will want you to look good in the future!"

"If I do this, will the boss be unhappy?

It's so noisy!

It's really noisy.

How did you get into my head? Why are you so deep in here?

Why do I always have to think about my parents? Is it because my parents have given me and nurtured my life?

If so, why do I have to return the favor?

In other words, why do I have to repay my kindness?

Did we make an agreement before the other party paid? If so, then it's a deal. If not, then it is a social convention.

Isn't it a kind of view to repay one's kindness and be filial to one's parents? Is it a kind of outlook on life and a means to show one's own virtues?

Alas, these are the things, these self-definitions, that make me see the world in a distorted way. It's all a trick of the character, and this trick seems to have a nice name, human nature.

If you don't have any opinions, then how do you choose, how do you drive your behavior?

I don't know, and I'm not going to pretend to know.

But it is clear to me that these perceptions and self-definitions are false and need to be killed.

Hehe, are you still thinking about killing? I didn't even take the first step, I was just pretending to kill.

However, these voices are really noisy in my head.

Not only is it influencing my choices, but I am always trying to convince them. Not in front of them, but in their heads. Imagine the scenario, and then how they will ask and how they will answer.

Isn't that crazy what is it?

How could I possibly allow this to continue to happen?

I used to be proud of it, and I was happy with it, and every time I designed a scene, I would seem to be particularly level and reasonable.

Haha, the truth?

Why don't I eat!

Now, it's time to clear these effects, it's time to empty your mind a little.

Reason itself is unreasonable, just like morality, morality itself is immoral. What is the truth worth pursuing, and what is the truth that is not someone's opinion?

Even if this truth is agreed by the whole world, it does not mean that it is true, and it will not affect me again. It is always a limitation, and truth means falsehood.

What's true about it being just a summary of the past and hoping to use it to guide your future life, or to drive your choices?

It's all noise.

Artificial distortion, artificial induction, artificial turning the infinite into finite, isn't this what is noise?

Spinning in my head every day, and not only that, but also loudly proclaiming that these noises will float through the whole society. It fits the character's intentions, makes himself closer to the character, and makes the character cover up the "selflessness" more thoroughly.

Is this the kind of society I live in?

What else is there to communicate, what else to teach, what else to talk about?

I can't think of any reason why I have to deal with other characters. Hehe, because he is the first person in the empire, under this name, almost everything he says is right.

It can be regarded as a God-given convenience.

As long as someone talks to him, which involves cultivation, he will inevitably quarrel with the other party's character.

Really, it seems that it is better for me to be alone in the future. You don't need to interact with each other's characters, you don't need to do things that you don't understand, and you don't need to think about the impact of the other person's role before you say or act.

Why should I please your character?

I'm so disgusted with my own character that I can't wait to kill yours, let alone yours. Where do I have time to please, where do I have time to indulge your influence in my head.

Forget it, let my mind be quiet for a moment. I know you're still there. Those people, I know you're still there. However, I have seen you, even if you don't take the first step, even if you can't kill me, you can't continue to influence me.

Very good.

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