Lying on the bed, the ashtray was already full of cigarette butts.

There are a lot of things on my mind, and this time I think very clearly.

Am I blind? I can't see how good she is to me?

I'm not, so I see it.

However, before this kind of feeling began, Li Nian was on the humble side.

I deeply understand this feeling, when I was with Xu Jing, wasn't I also on the humble side.

So maybe this is the best result, let her hate it, and slowly she will be relieved.

I lay alone in bed all afternoon, and I was really not in the mood to go out, shut myself in my room, close the curtains, and enjoy my moments.

I took out my phone and glanced at the time, it was already more than five o'clock in the afternoon, and then I pushed out the door and walked out, and found that the whole house was quiet, and it was estimated that Jiang Yan was still sleeping at the moment.

Then I went to the kitchen and took out the beer that had been chilled, and I counted eight of them, and finally took them all out of the fridge.

After thinking about it for a long time, it was not good for Jiang Yan to see it, and then returned to his house with these beers.

I sat on the floor against the edge of the bed and pulled out my phone, then found the music and played my favorite music.

The music I like is a sad genre, and it really sets off my current inner state.

Then I started drinking alone with a bottle of beer, a bottle of wine and a song, and I drank quickly and listened very carefully.

The story in the song was heard.

At the time of the fourth song, there was a slight knock on the door outside my house.

You don't have to guess to know that Jiang Yan is knocking on the door.

I glanced at the door and finally said, 'Come in.'"

Jiang Yan pushed open the door and saw me sitting on the ground in a low voice, with several empty cans of beer scattered on the ground.

She crouched down and picked up the empty wine cans on the floor one by one, and then filled them with the plastic bag on my desk.

"Why did you drink so much wine and pull the curtains up. Her voice was soft, but she could still hear the concern in it.

"My heart is a little messy, and I don't know how to adjust myself, so I want to drink some wine to numb myself, as for why I close the curtains, maybe I like the dark. ”

After answering this sentence, I picked up a can of beer next to me and drank it into my mouth.

"Jiang Yan. ”

"Yes, I'm here. Jiang Yan replied softly to me, it was a gentle moment I had never seen.

"I have always believed that each of us has a lonely lighthouse in our hearts, others can't get in, but we can't get out, so we get more and more tired. ”

Jiang Yan listened to my words and began to think, as if I was right, she nodded at me.

"I'm tired. ”

"It's tiring, everything is terrible. ”

"Li Yu, Monsieur Maupassant once said a word. ”

"You understand that a person's life is neither as good nor as bad as people think. ”

"So treat it with a normal heart, don't be so depressed when you encounter a bad thing, and don't magnify it infinitely when you meet a happy one. ”

After Jiang Yan finished speaking, she picked up the empty wine can I had just drunk and put it in a plastic bag, and then walked out of my room after giving me a complicated look.

My mind kept thinking about what Jiang Yan said to me.

In the end, I smiled wryly, opened a can of beer at one time, and drank it all in one gulp.

This lonely lighthouse of mine is too big, and I'm afraid I'll never get out.

The room was quiet, it was getting dark, I felt that it was too stuffy inside, and I got up and walked out the door.

When I got downstairs, I took a deep breath, if only it was raining heavily.

Slowly, I walked down the road alone, then I thought of the places I frequented, found a store, bought a few cans of beer, and took a taxi to my destination.

Fifteen minutes finally came to this place.

It's been a long day, and it's still so quiet, and the dim light is still flickering from side to side.

It's like my heart, it's shaking, and I can't be at peace for a moment.

I took out my mobile phone and called Li Nian, but she still didn't answer, so I smiled bitterly.

Then after hanging up the phone, he found Zhang Meng's WeChat, and then sent her a WeChat.

: Zhang Meng, did you receive Li Nian?

After I drank a can of beer, I received a reply from Zhang Meng.

: Got it, she's by my side now, why don't you call her and ask for yourself?

If it was before, Li Nian would tell her good friend about everything in the past, but what happened today Li Nian didn't even tell Zhang Meng, which I never expected.

I sighed, I didn't know how to reply to Zhang Meng, and then I replied to her,

: It's good that she's here, you can catch up, I won't bother.

Sitting on the chair on the moon platform, I had already drunk all the beer I bought, and the wind blew me and my head began to get a little dizzy, and my eyelids began to fight.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, there was a sound on the steps of the moon platform, and I could accurately hear the sound of Jiang Yan's steps.

Every time I look embarrassed here, I can always let her see it, and I smiled self-deprecatingly.

Jiang Yan stood beside me, looking at me with a tired look on her face.

"Why are you here?" I asked Jiang Yan.

"I'm worried about you. ”

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine, you go back. I waved at Jiang Yan and closed my eyes.

Jiang Yan didn't leave after hearing my words, but stood quietly by my side.

"You're very weak these days, so you don't have to accompany me, you go back, I want to be alone for a while. ”

I said to her helplessly.

"You can be alone at home, so let's go back. ”

"Can you just leave me alone?" I suddenly sat up from my chair, and then shouted at Jiang Yan uncontrollably.

She was startled by my cold shout, and then turned to her usual indifferent gaze.

"Let's go home, there are too many mosquitoes here, it's not safe, I came by car. ”

"Why do you care so much about me? Who are you? We're in a shared house!"

Jiang Yan's body trembled after hearing my words, looked away, and finally said slowly:

"The reason why you are so low and irritable today I can feel it is all caused by me, so no matter what, no matter what happens, I have to do something, go home Li Yu, and let me feel a little better in my heart, or I will blame myself so much that I can't sleep." ”

"You're really annoying! Jiang Yan!" the wine came up, so that I didn't even think about it.

Jiang Yan smiled when she heard my words, and then looked at me with eyes that were still looking elsewhere just now.

I could feel that the way she looked at me became stranger, but she still stubbornly said to me:

"Go home, right now, if you don't go back, I'll stay here with you, which can be regarded as self-punishment for causing you trouble. ”

I'm dying of anger now, I can't make sense of this woman.

"Okay, I'm annoyed, let's go, can't I go back!"

Jiang Yan nodded expressionlessly at me, then silently turned around and walked down the steps, and after seeing her go down, I followed suit.

After walking for a while, I came to her car, and I was just about to sit in the co-pilot's seat, Jiang Yan looked at me and said:

"Sit in the back. ”

This sentence is said without emotion, and it is very resolute, and it cannot be refused.

I nodded at her, and then sat in the back, and Jiang Yan saw me get in the car and started the car and drove towards our accommodation.

We drove twenty minutes downstairs, and then we walked back to the house.

After I got home, my alcohol dissipated a little bit, and then I opened my mouth and said to Jiang Yan:

"Excuse me for picking me up so late, thank you. ”

Jiang Yan glanced at me, and I could see the disgust for me in her eyes.

Then she walked back into her room without saying a word.