The creek was a few kilometres from our house, and I went out and walked down the newly built road to the river almost without a turn. Then I followed the previous memories and walked under the big willow tree that used to be.

The big willow tree didn't seem to have changed much, no matter what time it was, she stood quietly at the water's edge, looking down at the river under her feet and all the flowers and plants on the bank. If I had to find any changes, it would be that the trunk of the tree had become thicker, and the roots of the tree seemed to have grown a lot, intertwined with the old roots, and it was no longer obvious from the water how developed its root system was.

Every time I came back before, I was in a hurry, and nothing special happened, and I didn't feel too deeply, so I seemed to be used to all this, and I didn't think much about it, if it wasn't for the fact that the swallow had left, maybe for all this in front of me, although I would often think about it, but I wouldn't be as emotional as I am now.

The big willow tree is still at ease, swaying its thousands of silks in the wind leisurely, just like an old man who has looked down on the world, rolling red dust is just a passing cloud, joy, anger and sorrow are just an unrelated drama, and it only pays attention to the world in front of itself, all you have to do is to sit and watch the clouds rise, leisurely listen to the wind.

This reminds me of Tao Yuanming's poem "Picking chrysanthemums under the east fence, leisurely seeing Nanshan", which is the ideal and dream of many literati.

I said to Swallow in my heart: Swallow, I have returned to our favorite place to come when we were children, do you see it?

For a while, I suddenly burst into tears, and shouted loudly to the river, "I'm back! Swallow, are you coming back with me?" I'm Shen Weilan, tiny micro, orchid orchid. I was born and grew up in Sri Lanka, this is the source of my life, and this is the happiest home for me and you. I hope you are in another world, there are no worries, no sorrows, only joy and happiness. Although what you have done has hurt me deeply, I know that your friendship with me is genuine. Whenever I have the most difficult moments, you will always be there for me. You have become an inseparable part of my life, not a sister, but a sister. Do you hear me? I've forgiven you, I don't hate you anymore. If there is an afterlife, I will definitely be friends with you. Come back to this place again for our most memorable moments. ”

The more I shouted, the more excited I became, and my voice couldn't help but get louder and louder, until it finally turned into a scream of pain, shouting out all the words that had been suffocating in my heart for a long, long time.

Big willow tree, my closest companion, you come and tell me, what should I do? My best friend Swallow is gone, and since she is gone, I feel lonely and lonely like never before, and a corner of my soul seems to have been buried with her. Although I tried to make her appear in my novel, to be my new protagonist again, to give her a new life, to set her up a completely different happy life, but every time I think of the name Swallow, I can't help but feel heartache.

Big Willow, Big Willow, my closest friend, do you know? Sisi, my college classmate is only in his 30s, and just a few days ago, you had quietly left us in a plane crash. Once, because of the wind, I hated her, but she was so young, so beautiful, so talented, was it the jealousy of God?

It's terrible, in less than half a year, our two classmates who are almost the same age left us like this.

For the first time, I deeply realized that life is so fragile, life is so short, and many times, we may not even have the opportunity to say goodbye, and we have become guests in this world.

Big Willow, Big Willow, my former lover, he came back to me, and after so many things, I realized that everything was just a misunderstanding, and he didn't betray me. Moreover, since we graduated and I left, he did not stop looking for me, and after learning about me, he followed me to the city where I was. I found out that he had never found a girlfriend, let alone married, and was still alone, and he told me that he would always guard me until I was completely happy. For this reason, he did not hesitate to fight with Qiangzi on the street, and also threatened to snatch me back if Qiangzi was not good enough for me. I didn't realize until now that he had such deep feelings for me.

But we have missed a full life, I am no longer the same person, I am already someone else's wife, a mother of a child. So I can't do anything, I have no choice but to escape. But if he has been like this, how can I deal with myself?

Can you tell me how to convince him to find his own happiness? I don't want him to spend his time on me all the time, so that I feel very guilty for not being able to give it back.

Big willow tree, big willow tree, can you tell me the way forward, how should I go? I'm so confused. In the past, I felt that although Qiangzi was not the best person in the world, I felt grounded around him. And I have always thought that he is a very sincere and honest person, so I chose him back then, and resolutely left my hometown, left my parents who loved me, and came to Shenzhen with him, starting from scratch with my bare hands.

The years have passed very quickly, and for a long time, I have only one goal, that is, to work hard, be independent and self-reliant, and strive to create a better future for myself and the whole family, without dragging down the strong son. I have never doubted this goal, because I am full of hope for the future, so no matter how hard and tired I am, I feel happy.

However, some things that have happened in the past six months have made me slowly get to know him and discover his inner world that was unknown before.

It turned out that he, he cared so much about my past, and he didn't seem to really let go. In his heart, he had always regarded the wind as an object of comparison and an imaginary enemy, and the jealous anger had burned him up, and made him irritable and violent. The first time, he grabbed me by the neck and almost strangled me to death, and the second time he threw me to the ground. and threatened that as long as the wind appears, he will not let him go.

He scared me like this. Can you tell me what else is he hiding from me? I have a foreboding premonition that I dare not verify, and I am very afraid that my suspicion is true.

Big Willow, Big Willow, if I divorce Qiangzi, what kind of impact will it have on my daughter? I have been in a cold war with Qiangzi for a long time, and according to the current development trend, I already want to give up on him completely from the bottom of my heart. Is it just that she can understand her daughter? Xiaoyanzi just couldn't accept the fact that her parents divorced, so she fell into deep pain and inferiority, and it took a long time before she dared to walk among her classmates and really face it.

At that time, on the one hand, it was because of the prejudice of the overall ideology at that time, which made everyone feel that divorce was a very shameful thing, and the people around them were also pointing fingers, holding all kinds of suspicion and ridicule, on the other hand, this was Yanzi who felt that she was ruthlessly rejected by her father.

Although you are now quite open-minded and you don't make a fuss about divorce, does my daughter feel that she has been abandoned? If so, how am I going to explain this fact to her, and how am I going to make up for the trauma in her heart?

Can you tell me, O great willow, can you tell me, can you give me a clear guide and help?

I shouted and asked over and over at the big willow tree, but when my voice sank on the water, all that was left was the silence around me. Its posture is consistent.

But after my emotions were vented, I was like a trash can that had dumped all the garbage, and I suddenly felt a lot more open inside, and I was no longer as congested as before.

So I sat down cross-legged, leaning my back against the trunk of the big willow tree, my mind blank, and I was silent. Then before I knew it, I closed my eyes, had a dream, and entered another world.

It is a large lawn full of feverfew and yellow dandelion flowers, full of green grass. The lawn is huge, and it is not an exaggeration to describe it as boundless, and there is no boundary in sight, and there is no one in the empty space.

I wondered what the hell this place was, when a butterfly flapped its two yellow wings and suddenly flew in front of my eyes. It may feel a little strange at first, but it dodges away as soon as it sees me. I didn't pay much attention to it, I kept wondering what the hell this was and why I was here. Standing on such a large lawn, I had no direction and didn't know where to go.

Standing on the lawn, it was also the first time in my life, and I felt really small.

Just as I was hesitating, the little butterfly came back to me, and kept spinning in circles, and then flew away again.

After a while, I still didn't find the direction I wanted to go. At this time, the little butterfly flew back again, and still circled in front of my eyes in the same posture, like a dancing elf. I couldn't help but ask, "Little Butterfly, do you have anything to say to me?"

The little butterfly seemed to understand my words and spun in circles before my eyes.

I couldn't help but wonder, could the butterflies of the prairie understand human speech? Aren't they the magic elves of nature? So am I like Alice in a magical wonderland?