I really don't know what to say to Rufeng, for his confession, I feel too heavy to bear, for his deep affection, if I hadn't met Qiangzi so many years earlier, maybe I would have fought hard. But today, everything has changed.

I couldn't listen anymore and hung up the phone silently. I lay on the couch in my living room, my legs curled together, one hand over my forehead, my eyes moistened, tears dripping my cheeks like a drizzle. My heart was trembling, and my mind was chaotic, like a road after a rainstorm, with rain mixed with dust.

I remembered that starry night again, so peaceful and wonderful. At this moment, I really want to go back to the beautiful years full of youth, and then take it seriously again, wake up, and talk about a successful love. I said to Rufeng in my heart that if God gave me another chance, I would definitely not decide to leave casually as before.

Thinking about this, I suddenly felt very funny, if time could go back, maybe these would not be so precious, and who would cherish it anymore.

When I was immersed in my own melancholy, the phone rang again, still like the wind. I hesitated, I didn't know whether I should continue to answer the phone again, and I didn't know what he was going to say this time. So, let the telephone ring, like singing in the living room, over and over again in an infinite loop, after a long time, this singing does not seem to have any intention of interrupting.

I mustered up the courage to pick up my phone again, and eventually picked it up.

"Like the wind, I know that you have a deep affection for me, in the best of times, we have missed it, and to say more will only increase each other's sadness, and it will only make you fall into it and cannot extricate yourself, and it will not do you any good in your current life. ”

I have said so much in the hope that he will be completely sober and face such an unchangeable reality. But he didn't seem to listen at all, and took a completely ignorant attitude towards what I said.

"Weilan, don't say anything, Sisi is really uncomfortable when he leaves, I really want to find someone to talk to, I will go back to Shenzhen tomorrow, can you spare a little time for me?"

"What are you talking about? You want to come to Shenzhen?"

As soon as Rufeng heard my tone, he quickly explained that don't be nervous, I won't do anything to you, let alone stalk you, I still have the bottom line of being a man. I just want to find someone to talk to and someone I want to talk to. Seeing that Yanzi and Sisi are gone, I suddenly feel that time is not so long for us, and the days are constantly slipping away, who knows how much time we have to walk in the world, maybe it won't be long before we will be separated, right? In that case, why care about what happened before? You just treat me as an old classmate, an old friend who used to be okay.

His words seemed to have cut off all my excuses for refusal, and I was momentarily torn between how to answer.

Just when I was silent, he immediately said Okay, then it's decided, my ticket tomorrow morning, I'll call you when the time comes, if it's really inconvenient, it doesn't matter, I'll just revisit the place as it was, just take a break.

As soon as he finished speaking, without waiting for any response from me, he hung up the phone. Although his words were understated and deliberately pretended to be very relaxed, they made me very worried.

As I lay on the couch, I suddenly felt as if I was covered by something in my head, and the nerves connected to all parts of my head began to become a little numb. I pressed hard around my eye socket and it eased a little, but after a little stopping, the pain returned, and it seemed to get worse.

The anxiety in my heart made me feel uneasy, and I took out my notebook again, forcing myself to calm down and enter a different mode of thinking.

Swallow, what would you do if you were the current me? Rufeng told me that he had no way to forget me, and that he was always immersed in his past emotions and had no way to get out. I really don't want to see him continue like this, but I don't seem to have any way around it.

I want to go back to where we grew up and back to that carefree childhood. I know that there may be a lot of painful memories for you, but there are also a lot of happy moments. In particular, the beautiful river, although it does not have the grandeur of a big river, is a source of countless happiness for us.

Ever since you learned about the fact that your parents are divorced, you have liked to be alone for a long time, and you rarely have a smile on your face. Maybe you don't know, for a while, I quietly followed you, secretly watched you wipe away the tears on your face countless times, and then stubbornly held my head high. I know you're pretending to be strong and don't want others to see the pain in your heart.

You know what? I'm in a lot of pain right now. After so many years with Hadron, I suddenly realized that I didn't know anything about him as a person. Before, I thought he didn't like to talk, he had a simple personality, and he didn't care much about many things. The first time he almost strangled me to death, I hated him and was very disappointed in him, but then I kept convincing myself that maybe it was just his out-of-control behavior caused by his momentary emotions. Just when I had gone through a long period of self-adjustment and was ready to start a new life with him, I realized that I really knew too little about him.

He had always had a strong jealousy in his heart, and he didn't seem to really trust me. And you know what? I think he's hiding something from me. Twice I heard him secretly talking to someone on the phone, and it felt like he was doing something unknown. Just the other day, I heard him mention me to another person, and I had a bad feeling that the incident I had with Rufeng had something to do with him. Although you told me that you made up a lie to deceive me at that time, which led to our final separation, listening to his conversation with another person, it seems that there is something else hidden at the same time. And the hatred hidden in his heart is like a volcano with snow all year round, which may erupt at any time, which scares me.

And he lost his mind again and hurt me again. I've said the last two words I want to say, and it's gotten to the point where maybe my life is going to go back on a different trajectory. I am also very confused about whether my choice is right or wrong. Can you tell me if I should have done this? Or according to their own hearts, continue to endure and persist on the original path of life.

I think out of friends, you will support me either way.

Writing gave vent to my frustration, and when the last word came down, I suddenly realized that I already knew what to do.

I made a decision to take my daughter back to my hometown, while going home to see my parents, and at the same time going to the small river full of beautiful memories to see if the scenery of the past has changed, and to relive the warmth and happiness of the past, so that my heart can be completely relaxed.

When I thought of this, I suddenly felt much better, as if I had stood next to the familiar old willow tree, and saw the once clear river water, and those cute and silly little black things. I saw the flying white snowflakes in my mother's rolling pin, sprinkled on the thin noodles little by little, and then watched these noodles tumble happily in the boiling water and playfully expose their bellies, stirring my most primitive taste buds with the clear fragrance of wheat, and it was best to obediently sacrifice my stomach.

I told myself it was time to go home.

After clearing my thoughts and making a decision, I immediately pulled out a black trolley suitcase that was in the corner of the room. It had been left untouched for a long time, and it was already covered with dust and emitted a faint musty smell. I vaguely remember that the last time I used it was a year ago, when Hadron took us on a trip. Now that I think about it, it seems like it was a century ago, and we haven't been in such a quiet mood for a long time. Looking at it, I couldn't help but feel sad again. Then I cleaned up a little more, found a wet rag, and wiped the floating ash off it little by little.

After cleaning, I took out all the clothes in the closet, and then began to pick them one by one, and then folded them one by one and stuffed them into the box. I don't know if it's because I think about going home, my heart is happy, and I suddenly feel that I am doing things in my hands, and my brain is more relaxed.

After packing up my own, I rearranged my daughter's again. After doing these things, I quickly grabbed my phone and started searching for tickets.

Now the development of transportation has given us more choices for travel. The emergence of high-speed rail, although the cost of riding has increased, but it has provided us with more convenience and shortened the time on the road. The shortening of time has made it possible to increase the number of trains. Online booking is even more convenient, not only can you save time queuing at the train station, but you can also choose your own location. This is a huge benefit brought to us by social progress, and the whole process of booking tickets is simple and comfortable, and I quickly made the choice.

Looking at the final order, I once again couldn't help but sigh and rejoice that I lived in such an era, and at the same time, I couldn't help but think of the difficulty of booking tickets every time I went home on vacation when I just graduated. Every time I go home, I really go through a lot of hardships, like the long journey of Tang Seng and Sun Wukong's master and apprentice in Journey to the West.