Rufeng suddenly remembered what Donald Duck told him, although more than 80% of the suspicion of Gu poison had been removed, there was another layer of hidden worries. He had been looking for an opportunity to inquire carefully, but he didn't know what to say. Today, he happened to meet Sisi, which caused him to worry in his heart, and he was suddenly afraid that one day his beloved would disappear like this.

Without waiting for me to answer, he asked again: "Weilan, are you sure your body is okay? The last time I saw you, I saw you in such pain, did you go to the hospital for a specific examination later, and did this symptom recur? And Qiangzi, how is he treating you now? You two have reconciled as before, right?"

Although the care of the wind is full of sad emotions, it is like the spring breeze in March, with a refreshing warmth, blowing into my heart.

Reason told me that I must stay calm and not let him feel my touch, so I pretended to be casual and said very relaxed: "Thank you for your concern, how old am I? What can I do? It's just that I had occasional heartache and headache some time ago, and I haven't reappeared until now, don't worry, my body is fine." ”

It was just that the sudden mention of the hadron made my heart suddenly feel like I had entered a cold winter from spring, so I deliberately avoided this topic.

But Rufeng was very sensitive, and then asked, "Did you deliberately not mention him, did something happen between you?"

"No, nothing, what are you guessing. We've been married for so many years, what can we do? You better hurry up and solve your life's problems, otherwise I really feel ashamed of you. After saying that, I immediately burst out laughing, trying to hide my embarrassment.

However, even though I said this, I couldn't help but think back to the conversation between me and Hadron that night, and Hadron's crazy appearance. I seem to be getting less and less aware of him.

I've never been able to figure out what made him what he is. Since that day, he has suddenly disappeared and has not been home for days, without a phone call or any message.

I couldn't help but feel a little worried about him after many years of husband and wife, but when I remembered what he did that night and what he said, I forced myself not to let go of my dignity and principles at will.

In the days without him, I took my daughter with me, and suddenly felt relaxed. One day, I picked up my daughter to school on time, and then when I got home, I began to write my own novel, and received a lot of official account requests, an article, although the position is not particularly high, but the number adds up, it is enough for our mother and daughter to live every month.

I am now suddenly grateful for the major I chose in college, as well as my previous work experience, which gave me the opportunity to fully practice my writing ability, so that I can rely on my writing today to achieve career freedom and income security. Without the 9-to-5 work schedule, I have enough time to spend with my children.

What's more, I am no longer mentally constrained by any constraints, and I don't have the pressure of work responsibilities to force myself. Although writing is also a very nerve-wracking thing, she is also a process of emotional dredging for herself. When I'm happy, I write about things that are particularly pleasant, and when I'm not happy, I write about stories with twists and turns.

In this way, daily life seems to be completely different from before. And my views on various things have also changed in various stories, which has made my heart stronger and my horizons seem to be broader. And in order to be able to write better quality things, I also give myself a daily rule to read some favorite books.

Wandering in the ocean of knowledge is a relaxing and pleasant thing, from books, we not only learn the survival wisdom of others, but also learn how to use our own language to properly express our own ideas, and at the same time get a variety of beauty enjoyment. I've covered a wider and wider range of topics, not just the majors I studied in college.

Therefore, in life, no one can predict what will happen, whether a thing is good or bad, who can say clearly for a while?

But just like now, when all the words in my heart were spoken that day, especially after making such a decisive decision, I couldn't sleep for a long, long time that night. That feeling of heartache tormented me. If before, I was completely sure of my life and had a clear goal, then of course, although the moment I made the decision was very happy, I was confused afterwards. What kind of path will I face in the future, and how will my child feel, soon became the most immediate question.

Habit is a powerful existence, it is a fixed life pattern formed over time, and it is a magical force like a biological clock. When you are accustomed to being in your own nest and having a partner who is always there for you, once you are isolated, you will feel lonely and even at a loss. If you want a better life, you have to re-establish another habit. And the formation of habits is not a matter of one or two days, it is a long process.

And when I got into the habit of reading and writing, I began to slowly adapt to the loneliness of jumping out of another habit, which was undoubtedly a greater help for me to adapt to the departure of Hadron.

Thinking like this, I actually forgot that I was talking to Rufeng on the phone, and my thoughts were far away and stood still, and a long time had passed in a trance without realizing it.

"Weilan, Weilan, are you listening to me on the phone? Hey, hey?"

My momentary silence overwhelmed Rufeng, and he called again and again on the other end of the phone, his voice becoming more anxious than the other. It wasn't until the last sound that I reacted and quickly apologized: "Oh, I'm sorry, I just thought of something else, so I was distracted for a while." ”

"Oh, I thought something was wrong with you, it's okay!" he breathed a sigh of relief, and then said, Did you remember what happened before when you mentioned Hadron?Or is it that the current strong man is still the same as before? If anything, you must tell me. And I'm always ready, and if he can't give you happiness, I'll let him know how serious the consequences will be. ”

"Like the wind, why do you bother? We, we can't do it anymore. "I also said that even if I am single again, I am no longer the former Shen Weilan. Because in addition to being Shen Weilan, I am also the mother of the child. Do you know what I mean? So I don't want you to spend too much energy on me, you should pursue your own happiness, there are many good girls in this world, I am already your past, the dead are like this, this is a fact that cannot be changed.

At this, I suddenly felt a desolation in my heart. Everyone on their own path in life cannot predict where the next intersection will lead. Every intersection is like a time node in life, a little hesitation to take a wrong step, and then return, the people who travel with you have gradually drifted away, and even the back can not be seen, and I don't know who will be met again.

Just like when I was at a fork in the road emotionally, I deviated from the original direction, and looking back, I no longer have the original appearance, let alone the capital to pursue again. It's the same with Swallow, because I was angry and couldn't understand what she was doing, and in the end I didn't even see her for the last time. She is really like a wild goose flying south, coming quietly and leaving quietly.

Rufeng heard me say this, and was silent for a while. I could see the look of loss on his face, and the wail of pain in his heart. I also felt uncomfortable looking at it, but reality is reality.

I wanted to end the conversation, say goodbye, and hang up. However, as soon as I opened my mouth and screamed like the wind, he immediately interrupted me.

Rufeng said that since you left, I have been looking for you for a long time, and in this time, I have also thought of giving up and starting a new life, and other girls have confessed to me. However, as soon as I think of the word love, I only have you in my mind, and everyone looks like you.

I know that my life is over, maybe this is what I owe you in my previous life, and I must use this life to pay it back, just like Lin Daiyu in "Dream of Red Mansions", she wants to use her tears to repay the grace of Shenying's waiter. It's just that our ways may be different, and what I can do is to always be by the side silently guarding you, watching you happy, and watching you smile happily. Only when you are happy, is my happiness.

I've thought about this matter thoroughly, this is my life, my life. And my life will always be connected to yours. I remember reading various biographies of the Qing Dynasty emperors before, and there were 3,000 beauties in the harem of Emperor Shunzhi, and I only loved Dong Xiaowan, who was older than him. Since Dong Xiaowan's death, Shunzhi has been overly sad, and he has seen through Hongchen and left his family in Wutai Mountain, and he doesn't even want such a noble identity as the emperor, and he has given up the thousands of miles of rivers and mountains of the motherland.

How many people in history have shed their blood for these positions of power, regardless of human lives, and did not hesitate to shed rivers of blood. It is not uncommon for a father to kill a son, a son to kill a father, and a brother to kill each other. So at that time, many people, Concubine Zhuang, the mother of the Empress Dowager Shunzhi last time, and ordinary people next time, couldn't understand Shunzhi. However, who can say clearly about feelings, and wisdom like an emperor can't escape, let alone me. Others look at Shunzhi, maybe they think that his infatuation is funny and pitiful, and he doesn't want good brocade clothes and jade food, but he went to Wutai Mountain to suffer from Qing Xiu, but he is not a fish, and he knows the joy of fish. Therefore, you are not me, and no one else is me, how do you know that I am looking at your happiness, that happy feeling.

The words like the wind made me speechless and burst into tears.