Everyone has a fragile and soft heart under the strong appearance, if it is not forced by life or for the person who loves, who wants to smile desperately with tears? It turns out that the swallow is giggling all day long, seemingly lively, but has such a bitter childhood, Yuqiu's heart is tugging for the swallow, and the hatred in Rufeng's original heart is gradually disintegrated by the instinctive kindness with the swallow's pain.

Yanzi looked at the two men who had been silent in front of him, and suddenly threw out two laughs, as if he was self-deprecating and as if he was maintaining some self-esteem. For so many years, she has lived with a strong heart, and in the face of all kinds of people around her, pity only makes her feel pitiful and unbearable. What she didn't know, however, was that such a laugh sounded more heart-wrenching than crying.

"You don't have to pity me, after the rest of the story is told, maybe you will only be left with hatred and contempt. "Swallow completely let go, outspoken, this time the smile with a little sour and lonely, "In the eighties, divorce is a very shameful thing, every time I see me, the classmates and alumni in the school have all kinds of complicated expressions, the eyes are sympathetic, disdainful, ridiculed, in school is fine, once after school, walking on the way home, you can always hear all kinds of whispers, they whisper but deliberately let people hear the discussion, play with imagination to do all kinds of conjectures. Then, the news reached the ears of the parents of the classmates, and after the fermentation of the adults, all kinds of bold rumors began to come to the face. Every time a classmate walks by me, I feel like wheat is on my back, and I dare not look others in the eye. And Xiaolan didn't dislike me, nor was she afraid, she waited for me almost every day when she went to and from school, and deliberately held my hand tightly when she walked on the road, so that I could raise my head and walk well. She said that what others like to think is someone else's business, and I can't look down on myself, and I haven't done anything wrong.

Once, Xiaolan and I passed by a bridge near the school, and we saw many classmates talking about something from a distance. They saw us from afar and started laughing, and the laughter was harsh and unfriendly. Slowly approaching, only to find that it was a group of unfamiliar male classmates, who were a little taller than us, estimated to be in the fourth grade, smiling and glancing at each other, all of them waiting to see a good show. Walking to the bridge, I saw that on the rough stone surface, two lines of big chalk words crawled crookedly on it, the words were very bad, but they were particularly eye-catching and dazzling, and the words pierced the bone marrow: a wild swallow fell from the sky, I couldn't tell my mother, I couldn't tell my father, it turned out to be a big joke, hahahaha.

Anger burned over me, anger almost made me lose my mind, and I rushed at the boys desperately, to beat them, to make them apologize and wipe the disgusting handwriting. Xiaolan saw that I had completely exploded, and she didn't say a word, but also helped me together. Two girls, a group of boys, just like that, although these boys didn't do it because they were afraid that the adults would make a big deal and ran away quickly, but the result can be imagined, and in the end Xiaolan and I were left to sit back to back on the bridge, with blue and purple limbs. I was extremely aggrieved, and I cried loudly in front of Xiaolan for the first time with my hands on my shoulders. Xiaolan stayed with me silently until I turned to a quiet sob, and then pulled me to stand up. Then, she stretched out her arms and hugged me tightly, and whispered: It's good to vent, just cry if you want to, I will accompany you. Today, I will definitely help you get justice. At that moment, Xiaolan's weak figure suddenly became taller, and her gentle firmness became what I wanted to rely on, and a hazy feeling grew.

Later, when I was still immersed in deep inferiority complex and sadness, Xiaolan really found the boy who wrote big characters as she said, and went directly to his house, questioned him in front of his parents, and asked them to bring the boy to apologize to me. At the time, I couldn't believe she did it, but it was. I asked her how she did it, and she said, "I want to get justice for you, didn't the teacher teach us to succeed if we persevere?"

"Xiaolan is a persistent person. Rufeng sighed thoughtfully again, his tone revealing deep appreciation, "So, then what?"

"yes, I don't seem to have explained it yet, I'm just telling my past, you can't wait, right?"

"It's okay, every bit of her is precious to me. ”

"For me too," Swallow paused abruptly for a moment, then stood up again and walked to the window, her tone becoming deeper, "Rufeng, I'm actually jealous of you. ”

"What, you're jealous of me? why?"

"Yes, to tell you the truth, I'm already in the terminal stage of lung cancer. ”

"You, what are you talking about?!" Rufeng stared at Yanzi's back and cast an inquiring gaze at Yuqiu, stunned for a moment, no wonder his first instinct when he saw Yanzi felt that she was a little pitiful, but this fact was too cruel, even if he hated Yanzi.

"You heard me right," continued Swallow without looking back, "I tell you not to ask you to pity me. If it weren't for this disease, maybe I would still not be able to face myself, and if I have lost, I have gained. ”

"Swallow, you are not allowed to say that. Yuqiu suddenly interrupted Yanzi's words with a solemn look.

"Yuqiu, so far, I have accepted my fate. But don't worry, I'll live actively, and I won't sit back and wait for death, I don't want you to be sad. ”

Rufeng wanted to say a few words of comfort, but he didn't know how to say them.

"Like the wind, don't say anything. Yanzi continued to turn her back to Rufengdao, "Actually, you really should hate me, because I have always been jealous of Xiaolan's love for you, and I have always hated myself for being a daughter." ”

"You mean......" Rufeng seemed to understand something, but he couldn't believe his ears.

Although Yuqiu was vaguely prepared, when this fact was confirmed, he still couldn't believe it.

"I'm sorry, this has always been my biggest knot. Since then, we have been almost inseparable, and she has become an indispensable and important person in my life, even more than my mother. When I went to middle school and went to university, I knew that she was working hard, and I never dared to relax, just hoping to be with her. With her, I feel safe and warm. Until one day, she happily came to tell me that she was in love, and that she was in love with a boy, and my heart ached at that moment. I realized that she was going to leave me, and I was going to lose her. I felt scared, frustrated, and felt like my little warm world was going to be destroyed by a man again, and I was jealous, I hated, so I ......"

"So, you choose to destroy, at the cost of hurting Weilan!" Rufeng suddenly stood up and said excitedly. He understood the somewhat twisted heart thoroughly.

"I don't want to hurt her, I just want to keep our world alive. Yanzi also turned around abruptly and defended herself loudly, "Do you know what it feels like to be pulled from more than ten years of affection? Do you know that the only trace of warmth is about to be deprived? I love her, and I can do a lot for her, no less than you." But just because I am a woman, I can only give way to you, I am unwilling, I am full of hatred. Why is everything I am proud of turning into a cloud of smoke!"

"I didn't want to take anything away from you, and Weilan is not your personal belonging!" Rufeng was really enraged this time.

"You men can't be relied on for anything! When my father said that we would leave us, love and responsibility were nothing to him! It was not a fleeting interest!"

"Your father can't represent all the men in the world! You beat you to death with a stick, because you yourself are too fragile and can't accept the reality all the time, and you want to use Weilan as a substitute for temporary escape, even if you leave aside the gender difference, are you love? How can you be worthy of Yuqiu's love like this, you are simply the most selfish and hateful woman who doesn't understand love but wants to grab love crazily!" Rufeng unceremoniously pointed straight to the depths of Yanzi's heart.

"You!cough——, my Duo Xiaolan's feelings have never been adulterated!" Yanzi was angry for a while, and coughed a little out of breath.

Seeing this, Yuqiu quickly stood up, helped Yanzi, and sent her back to her seat.

"At this point, there is nothing to fight about. Yuqiu looked at the two and said, "Friendship or love, it is not contradictory in itself, swallow, you are too insecure, so you regard friendship as a life-saving straw, a failure, does not mean that you will always fail, a painful experience, does not mean that you will always fall into the whirlpool of pain, whether it is a person or a thing, you should look at it rationally in order to understand it correctly." Your so-called love needs to be carefully examined by yourself. I don't think you've had a good time all these years. Like the wind, if you know the truth, it's normal that you can't accept it, and I'm not. In fact, I also grew up in a single-parent family, and I deeply understand the desire for warmth. I'm two years older than you, and I met Swallow because of a school fraternity. The first time I saw the swallow, I was attracted by her hearty laughter, the voice was so happy, enthusiastic, and infectious, and it has been making me miss for so many years, so I have been persistently sticking to it, and trying to hope that one day I will really integrate this voice into my life. Everyone can have their own beliefs, but those beliefs must be principled. Swallow, I thought, I'm going to go first. ”

As soon as the words fell, Yuqiu didn't stay for a moment, and walked out of the room directly.

"It turns out that Yuqiu is the same as me, but I have never heard him mention it, and this is the first time I have heard him talk about his life experience. Swallow muttered to herself. She knew that she had disappointed Yuqiu, a great disappointment.

"Yanzi, Yuqiu is a good man, if you miss it, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Yuqiu's words calmed down Rufeng, and now he knows the reason, but as Yuqiu said, the matter has come to this, and he is no longer qualified to pursue happiness. He suddenly became a little envious of Yuqiu, at least he could have a choice.

"I'm leaving, you're doing it yourself!" Rufeng didn't look at the swallow, dropped a sentence and a few hundred yuan in cash, and prepared to get up and leave.

"Wait, there's one more thing I think you should know. "Swallow decided to have no reservations.