The swallow did not meet the gaze of the wind, his head bowed, and the spoon in his hand kept turning in the bowl, and there was nothing in the bowl.

Without waiting for Rufeng to speak, Yuqiu lightly held Yanzi's hand, and while signaling the waiter to hurry up and serve the food, he said, "In this way, Rufeng and Yanzi, we will talk while eating." ”

Rufeng nodded slightly at Yuqiu, picked up the red wine on the table and poured the glass himself, and after drinking it all, he got straight to the point, "Yanzi, you mean what happened to Weilan back then, right? I was about to ask you, if my guess is correct, our breakup should have been caused by you, right?!"

The swallow froze, and in embarrassment and shame, her head was lowered almost next to the table. Although she had already expected this situation, but in the face of it, this feeling seemed to be overwhelming, and she was instantly out of breath. If she could, she would rather find a hole in the ground and go down.

"Rufeng, Yanzi is going to apologize for this today, she has always felt guilty for this, especially knowing that you are still single, she knows that she was wrong in judgment back then. Yuqiu hurriedly explained beside him.

"Judgment?apology?guilt?can make up for my pain over the years?It's you, a good friend, who ruined my happiness and Weilan's happiness with your own hands!" Rufeng's heart twitched, and a glass of wine was drunk again. He was angry and hateful, and every drop of blood flowed into his body with the alcohol.

"I'm sorry!" the swallow began to sob.

"Why are you crying?

"I'm really sorry, like the wind! I was really confused, I thought you couldn't give Xiaolan happiness, I thought you were just a vain son. ”

"I have nothing to show for me?!I am such a person in your heart?And why do you use your own opinions to influence Weilan's future?!Are you really Weilan's best friend?"Rufeng asked angrily.

"I'm Xiaolan's best friend! I love her no less than you!" Swallow raised her head suddenly, her tearful eyes full of determination.

"As a friend, destroy her happiness with your own hands, you really love her. Rufeng sarcastically said disdainfully.

"No matter what, I love her no less than you!" Swallow's gaze was even more determined this time.

Yuqiu was frightened by the swallow's eyes, he had never seen a swallow so excited. He carefully reflected on Yanzi's words, and a bad premonition crept in his heart.

"Swallows?"

Feeling Yuqiu's questions and emotions, Yanzi turned her head and suddenly laughed, "Yuqiu, your guess is right, this is also one of the most important reasons why I have avoided you all these years." ”

After that, the swallow slowly stood up from her seat, walked to the window, looked through the dense green leaves at the top of the tree, looked at the clear blue sky, and thought of her parents, recalling the happy times at school, remembering her own pain and the years she had been hiding from the rain and autumn, and her heart was filled with joy and sorrow. Over the years, she has been afraid to face her true self and cannot find her place. After being seriously ill, between life and death, she realized that her deepest desire was to be a real woman.

"I'm sorry for the wind and the rain. In the past, I was afraid to face my true self, and I found many reasons for myself to interfere and avoid, all because of my own distrust and dislike of men. The swallow sighed softly.

The swallow did not look back, always facing away from the wind and the rain, and the memories of the past came flooding back. Today, she finally dared to peel back the secrets and pains that had solidified.

"Once upon a time, there was a little girl whose parents divorced when she was 3 years old. For the sake of the little girl's growth, the parents decided to maintain a normal husband and wife on the surface, living together, but each of them was free to live without interfering with each other. The swallow closed her eyes, paused slightly, raised her head calmly, let the light through the window shine on her face, and then slowly opened them again, and the scene in front of her gradually faded, "The little girl has never known the truth, and has grown up carefree. Except for vaguely feeling that her parents are a little too polite and cold, she has always been very happy, and even feels that she is a little princess in a fairy tale, because as long as it is what she wants, her parents will be unconditionally satisfied with what she eats, wears, and plays. When she was 6 years old, a month before she enrolled in elementary school, her mother suddenly moved back to her grandmother's house with her, but her father did not follow. My grandmother's house is in the suburbs of a Z city, next to a primary school, and I started my school career there, so I met Xiaolan. ”

At this time, Yanzi slowly turned around, the corners of his mouth curled, and he seemed to be a little tired, so he walked to his seat and sat down, then drank a glass of water and continued, "There is only one class in each grade in the school, and I naturally became classmates at the same age as Xiaolan. Xiaolan and my grandmother are in the same village, although one is in the east of the village and the other is in the west of the village, but every time I go to school, I just pass by her door, so almost every day we go to school and leave school at the same time, plus we like to play about the same, and we unconsciously become inseparable good friends.

Since I came to my grandmother's house, I have my grandmother to help me in my daily daily life, my mother went to the city to find a job, and my father came to see us once a month at the beginning, and gradually it became three months, half a year, or even a year, and then his appearance began to blur. I asked my mom where my dad went, and my mom always replied that my dad had gone to the northwest to support construction. Until the third grade, one day I went to the teacher's office to deliver the math homework handed in by my classmates that day, and just walked under the window, I heard a few teachers talking about me. I was so happy with the teacher's praise that I didn't say anything, and the teachers didn't notice me.

However, a sentence from the math teacher blew up my world like a thunderbolt from the blue. That means that I am such an excellent little girl, but I didn't expect that my parents divorced, and my mother had no choice but to take me from the city back to my grandmother's house in the countryside. I was completely stunned, overwhelmed, shocked, sad, and painful, draining all the strength in my body at once, and the homework book in my hand spilled all over the ground. ”

The swallow closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. She seemed to see her embarrassed self again, and the pain swept over her body again, even though she had long since become accustomed to and accepted this fact.

"Swallows. Yuqiu screamed distressedly, wanting to say something more, but didn't know how to say it.

"Yuqiu, I'm fine. Yanzi opened her eyes and smiled bitterly and comforted Yuqiu, "I haven't told you before, I just don't want to think about these things." ”

Yuqiu responded with a smile, then put her hand on Yanzi's shoulder and gently hugged her into her arms.

Rufeng didn't say anything on the surface, but he was really taken aback in his heart, and while drinking stuffy wine to himself, he listened quietly, he wanted to know more about other things.

Yuqiu's embrace gave the swallow warmth, and after staying for a moment, the swallow began to continue again.

So I didn't care that I hadn't gotten out of school yet, and ran all the way home crying. I wanted to prove that it was fake, and I couldn't believe it was true. As soon as I saw my grandmother, I threw myself into her arms and asked my mother about it. Grandma just hugged me tightly and didn't speak, and at that moment I already got the answer. But my mother didn't come back yet, and I didn't give up, so I sat on a small bench at the door, motionless, and waited until my mother came back, but all I waited for was my mother's constant tears and apologies.

I asked her why, she just shook her head and smiled bitterly and said that she was not worthy of my father, my father is a high-achieving student, his own family conditions are good, and he is the only son in the family, and the upper and lower generations are in the same line, and she is a girl from the countryside who has no family background to help, especially she failed to give birth to a son for him, and the divorce was also proposed by herself, and she can't make him feel sorry for his family.

I don't seem to understand these words, but there is one thing that I seem to understand, and one of the important reasons is because I'm a girl.

The princess's pride was shattered, and at that moment I vaguely knew that boys and girls were different. ”

"The feudal concept can actually destroy a family, pedantic, do you think that I am also such a person?!" Rufeng suddenly interrupted the swallow angrily, clenched his hands into fists, and slammed them on the table.

The swallow's gaze swept over the windy face, but she did not answer, and then said, "That night, I was tired from crying in my mother's arms, but I never slept all night. My mother's words were imprinted in my mind, and I couldn't erase them. The next day, I didn't go to school. On the third and fourth days, I didn't have the courage to step out of the room and into that familiar campus for a week, to meet my teachers and friends. Later, one evening after school, Xiaolan came, carrying my school bag, and helped me copy my notes for the next week, bringing two big red apples and two candies. She didn't say anything, put down her bag, took me by the hand and walked out along a field path to the small river at the head of the village. It was spring, and the willow trees around the river bank danced in the wind, and the shadows of the trees were reflected in the calm water, and the evening sun shone red. Xiaolan found a clearing under the reeds, pulled me to sit down, and we let the red light shine on our bodies and faces. This short warmth shines on my heart, and my mind is calm and happy. I grabbed Lan's hand and thanked her. Xiaolan only said: You're welcome, we are good friends, good friends forever and forever. Look at how beautiful our scenery is, how can you hide in the house every day. ”

The swallow's face showed a sweet smile in the memory, calm and relaxed.

"Weilan is such a person, she doesn't talk much, but she is very caring. Rufeng also said with deep feelings.

"Yes, she is such a person, she looks cold on the surface, but she is full of sincerity on the inside. Yanzi echoed, she agreed with Rufeng on this point, "We were 9 years old that year, and how much do we know about the understanding of friendship, but this matter is like a seed buried deep in my heart, and since then, we have become closer again." Every time I think of the scene of that day, my heart is full of warmth, and I feel less lonely. The next day, Xiaolan waited for me to find her, and we walked into the campus again holding hands. But the moment I followed Xiaolan to the classroom, I saw all kinds of complicated eyes from my classmates. I adjusted my heart, but I couldn't control the curiosity of others, because of the self-blame of the math teacher at that time, the news that my parents had divorced spread, and the gossip quickly spread throughout the school. What happened later, back then, at that time, if it wasn't for Xiaolan, I might not have had the courage to finish elementary school. ”

At this, the swallow's voice trembled slightly.