After the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, my relatives and friends who visited knew that I had broken up and began to enthusiastically introduce my boyfriend. But it's always the matchmaker who is more than enthusiastic, and the other party reacts weakly. People in their hometowns talk about marriage on blind dates, which are often more practical, and several conditions such as houses, cars, and jobs are one grade worse. And I'm currently unemployed at home, and no one with a little bit of conditions will find a burden to go back. The introducers are all my relatives and friends, and they will not introduce me to those who are too bad. I myself am like an outsider and don't pay any attention to these things. However, my parents wanted to let me have a stable situation as soon as possible, and every time I talked about a boy, I was full of longing, but after a few rounds of information exchange, I could only sigh in disappointment.

One day in the first lunar month, a boy finally wanted to meet with me, and my parents said all the kind words, and I agreed. My parents took me to a cousin's house, and the boy went with his family. It's just a small talk for a long time.

That night, the cousin replied that the boy's family did not agree. I was really curious to ask the reason, and my cousin said that the boy's parents said that I was too beautiful, and I came back from Beijing, and I was afraid that there would be something bad in the past. Don't dare to take risks.

My whole body suddenly went from head to toe. That night, I sat on the bench at the window and spent the whole night, thinking a lot about the past and thinking about a lot of things. Some figured it out, most didn't. Do I have a past in the eyes of a boy? I sneered at myself in my heart, yes, it won't be too long, ten years ago, when I was a pure little white rabbit in high school, I must have felt that I was a slut who lost my virginity now, and I deserved to be spurned by thousands of people, and it was not too much to soak in the pig cage. But when I really experienced it myself, I didn't want to justify anything, but I really felt that everything that happened was unprepared, as if it was all imposed on me by fate, and I was powerless to struggle and resist. My heart has never changed. Ten years ago, when I was pure, I longed for true love, not mixed with the worldliness of money and social status, and now ten years later, I am still working hard for this goal, I don't have kitsch and worship money, I don't covet glory, I want to hold on to Ziqing tightly, but I just can't catch him. Whose fault was it, or was it a trick of fate? Rather than dying or not escaping the whirlpool of the quagmire, should I have laughed generously at everything in the first place? But I knew I couldn't do it.

I've died once, and it's said that a lot of things will be seen open, but I still can't see it, I don't resent anyone, I just don't understand what's wrong with life?

At dawn, I sent a text message to Ai Yun: I'm going to Beijing to look for a job, can I go to your place for a few days?

I received a call from her at noon, and she was very happy on the phone, "Baby, come on, you can stay as long as you want." ”

After a circle, I can only go back again. I haven't been in any city for long except Beijing and T, and I don't have any friends to help with. Strange city, somewhat timid. Besides, I really can't find a place to stay?

In March, the catkins began to drift, the sun was sunny outside the window, I walked out of the house, walked across the small bridge and flowing water in my hometown one by one, watched the sister-in-law next door washing clothes in front of the well, and watched the children playing games at the door. However, now I can't stop here to watch the flying flowers and willow smoke.

I packed my bags and went to Beijing again.