It's a subtle feeling, as if everything in front of you has become a painting. There is no emotional investment, and he no longer thinks of himself as the character of Yuan Changwen.

When you're done, is it a complete jump?

I don't know, maybe it is, maybe not.

It's like standing outside the frame, admiring the painting all the time. The theater viewer mode seems to be like this. Assuming that time passes linearly, then the painting becomes a dynamic picture, isn't it just a play?

It's a bit like playing a first-person game, where no one thinks the hands and feet on the screen belong to them and they don't fear everything that happens in the game. Whether the character becomes a hero or a villain, or is bland to death, it is a good choice.

Of course, this metaphor seems to have a dance, that is, that awareness also has values. But in fact, that awareness has nothing but awareness. If that awareness has values, then how can such different values be allowed?

Indifference, it's my business, that's what it should be like to be aware. Not even these emotions, they just exist, they are only aware.

Am I trying to move forward by imitation?

Just like a well-fed person will have hiccups, am I trying to become a well-fed person by imitating hiccups?

So, I shouldn't have talked about the state after the kill, and then know the state after the kill and imitate it, which makes no sense. Even, my knowledge of what happened after the killing was just a guess.

What's even more crazy, no matter what, the characters can't touch the truth. Judging from the slashing after the killing, according to the fact that a real existence touches the real being, it doesn't matter what the character does. Because there is nothing to do with the character and the reality.

Then, after touching the reality, it no longer matters how the character behaves, whether it is good or evil. And for me as a slasher, moving forward is the key, not imitating the state after slashing.

What else hides in the shadows, and is not seen by me?

What else I don't think can happen?

It's not that the character of Yuan Changwen sees the world, but that I perceive that the character of Yuan Changwen is seeing the world. Even, there is no role of Yuan Changwen at all, it's just that part of the body always appears in the picture. About the name of the body, what the body did, and the thoughts and memories that followed.

The problem is that I can't accept the phrase "there isn't a me". Or rather, there is no one I think I am.

For example, "I think I'm a human being," without this me. "I think I'm sane to a certain extent", without me. "I think I'm in the depths of the lake", without this me. "I think I'm thinking about slashing", without this me.

I'm just aware of these things, I'm aware of the character's behavior and thinking, but it doesn't mean that the perceived content is me. Like, a movie screen doesn't think that the movie content is itself.

The point is, how does that thinking end? Yes, I just sense that the character is thinking, but it's not enough, not enough for the character to lose it.

Many chapters ago, it has been concluded that thinking also belongs to the role and is also false. After all, the existence of any "non-awareness" is false and does not exist. However, knowing theoretically doesn't help, and I never think it's not me.

Even if I now begin to learn to see the flow of life, to learn to gradually let go of the rudder in my hands, to learn not to believe in the distortions in my mind, and gradually to become less afraid of life. But this thinking is only theoretically false.

The character is thinking, and I perceive the character's thinking, and I pass on what I perceive to the character, so that the character can continue to think without interruption. Or, you can recall in hindsight what you thought about beforehand.

However, this speculation is based only on the linear passage of time. Once the time is removed, then I feel that the character is thinking at the moment, and then there is a whole bunch of so-called memories there.

I admit that this thinking belongs to the character, after all, it is the memory and cognitive foundation of the character that constructs this thinking.

No, the metaphor of a painting is misleading. It's as if there is a painting that can exist outside of that awareness, and there is a space for that painting and that awareness.

That awareness is everything, in other words, everything is that awareness. For example, tables and benches are actually that awareness. There are no real tables and benches, they are all that awareness, but I don't know why this effect is happening.

"Tables and benches don't exist", this is an affirmation that has always been true.

"The table and bench are false beings, and their essence is still that awareness, but it appears as a table and a bench. ”

Is there any difference between these two sentences?

Does "false existence" equal "non-existence"?

For Mario, those monsters are real, and they die at the touch of it. But for me, I can say that monsters don't exist, or that monsters are just false existences. So, what exactly does Mario have to do to realize that monsters just exist or don't exist?

There is no Mario and no monster, and whether the table and bench are "non-existent" or "false", it only means that "that awareness is everything." ”

So, this thinking is either "non-existent" or just "false existence", so what is there to argue about?

I'm a fake character, so naturally I can't lose this thinking. I am the character of Yuan Changwen, and I just deduce that my essence is that awareness, but I now belong to the content of awareness.

Therefore, it cannot be discarded...... Is it?

The question is not "how can this thinking not me", but "why is this thinking me", is it that I have always been aware of the existence of thinking, so I think that this thinking is me?

I'm not even sure if it's the same thinking. Right, it's common to think, "What did I think at the time?" or "How did I think that at the time?"

No one restrained me, and that awareness was always there. In other words, there is no need to kill at all, what can stop the existence of that awareness?

The character is nothing more than trying to believe that he is just a character, trying to think that there is a universe out there, trying to believe that objective things are real. In addition, by thinking that "everyone is like this" and wanting the character to stand at the top, it is perfect to avoid discussing the authenticity of the character.

The character may say that it doesn't take any effort at all to believe in the character's authenticity. Then I can only say that this is the success of the brainwashing program.

Damn it!

This thinking does not belong to me, it is false, but it can't be thrown away at all!