I don't know why, I envy my former self, although it's not real, although I'm always wrapped in fear, but after all, I have a goal.

Money, more money, that's what I once had to aim for.

With money, buy a big house, have money, travel everywhere, have money, others will envy you, and with money, you can do what you want to do happily.

I didn't know that all this was untrue, I never thought about these questions, and I believed what the authority said.

It looks silly, but at least it won't be as uncomfortable as it is now, as well as dangling.

The sense of suspension is a sense of confusion experienced by Yuan Changwen. It seems that for the whole world, for the whole life, there is no longer such a feeling of being down-to-earth.

There is no longer a state of burning youthful passion and working hard for something.

The whole person seems to be suspended in the air, and he can't see the meaning of life, because life has no meaning in the first place. Nor can the so-called truth be seen, because the objective world falls within the realm of "inconclusive truth".

That's it, there is no more down-to-earth feeling.

Yuan Changwen can imagine his future days, maybe he just eats, sleeps, sleeps, eats, and then sits in a corner and enjoys a certain picture. There is no longer any motivation to do anything, everything is not real, what else to do?

Oh no, maybe there will be something to do, but there's no sense of accomplishment or anything like that. Because the sense of accomplishment belongs to the "self", it is an emotion that arises after doing something that you can't do.

What can't you do on your own?

Everything can be done because everything is in your own mind, there is no outside at all, everything is inside.

That awareness is everything.

(What the hell is going on?!Hasn't this suicide gone far enough?!)

[I don't know...... Can't go back...... I do not know. 】

(Life is ruined, emotions are ruined, everything as a human being will be lost.) Isn't it interesting? What did you embark on this path in the first place? A person who doesn't care about anything?)

(I don't care about my parents, I don't care about my family, I don't have a sense of responsibility, and all I do is surrender.) There is no fighting spirit, and there is no high fighting spirit, this is awakening?

[Yes......]

Yuan Changwen recalled that at the beginning, it seemed that after the illusion of the orb, he embarked on this road of no return. In fact, before leaving prison, there is still a chance to turn back.

Because at that time, I seemed to be thinking about the truth, but in fact I was still in the deception of the devil. That person turns around and becomes a smug person who says, "Hey, I know the only truth, you don't know."

Then, he still works to make money, saying that the world is unreal and everything is unreal, but deep down he doesn't believe it. Gradually deceived by the devil, and gradually pulled back by the trivial things of life.

In the end, this so-called truth becomes a talking point of oneself, another proud "self", a newly built building in the desert.

What should I do?

In addition to continuing, there is a way out?

In addition to further afield, there are options?

Suppose you nod your head and become an advisor to the Zhang family, can you really get rid of the shadow in your heart?

How many successful people will look at the lights alone at night and find that they don't know anything about life.

And how many losers will think carefully about what is wrong with the world.

Cruel, hellish, or do you think the world is unreasonable?

It is said that only the weak will pray for justice. But do the weak exist? Does fairness exist?

Aren't these things artificially added?

Yuan Changwen's whole person seemed to be stepping on the air, confused and at a loss, and it seemed that there was no place to step on it at all.

Except for knowing that "I exist", the rest knows nothing.

(And then, what then, is it hanging in the air, is it just like that, is it spending your whole life like this?)

Who could ask for more?]

(Why not!) Muster up the courage to work hard to fight for your own future!)

But I don't feel any meaning at all, but a meaning imposed by human beings themselves, and to be observed by all mankind. How come I didn't find this before?]

[Hang in the air, hang in the air, there is no meaning, there is no meaning. I can't even get up to kill now, what is there to kill? What I kill doesn't exist at all, what am I killing?]

[It was originally that stupid background, those false "selves" were active in the background, and I made them real.] But now, they're not real, and I don't know how to end them. 】

(Don't give up, we're going to work hard and fight.) Don't let go, as a human being, it's shameful to surrender. If everyone thinks like this, how can human civilization progress? Aren't we still in primitive caves?)

[Yes, our dissatisfaction pushes human civilization forward. But how do I confirm that primitive societies really existed? With some archaeological data, can I confirm the authenticity of primitive societies?

[Not to mention the primitive society, even what happened yesterday is just a memory in my mind at the moment. How do I know that yesterday's events were real?]

[Is it just that everything is in line with the memory of the present, in line with the passage of time from yesterday to today, what we have done and what has changed, and now we see these things as our memory, so we decide that yesterday is real?]

Yuan Changwen didn't know what to do, and although the word farther inspired him, he still didn't know how to continue.

Because in his opinion, there is no need to continue at all.

But in this state of being, he has not awakened. I still remember waking up in the morning and having several dreams in a row, each time I thought I had woken up from a dream, but it turned out to be still in a dream.

And when you really wake up, you can confirm that you really wake up.

Now, it's clear that I'm still trapped in a dream, if there is such a thing as a dream.

All of this is nothing but one's own belief, one's own belief that it is true, and then it becomes true. I believe that there is an objective substance, so that the objective substance really exists, and I never doubt this.

But in fact, there is no evidence at all, and all the evidence points to that awareness. There is no escaping all of this," and at this moment, I became aware of the existence of something. ”

What the hell are you doing?

In the past 20 years, there are still decades to go, how are you going to spend it?

None of this is real, do you really want to spend the rest of your life just to add so-called success to the background?

Oh no, there's no such thing as a rest of your life!

Anything for a better life, anything for becoming a better version of yourself, is not real.

Because there is no better self at all, the only truth is simply "I exist".

Yuan Changwen is a fake, his character is fake, and his experience is fake.

"Selflessness" is the most fundamental thing.

Since there is "no self", then becoming a better self is nonsense, what is the essential difference between becoming a worse self?

Do you have to say that cold is better than hot, and height is better than short?

Shit!