it!

This feeling is very uncomfortable, although Yuan Changwen has experienced it several times, he has never been able to get used to this discomfort.

The whole person is like being wrapped in honey, very sweet but very stuffy. It doesn't seem to be a big deal, you can eat all this honey by opening your mouth, and it tastes good.

But Yuan Changwen can't do this, because he has been doing this for more than 20 years, ignoring this fear and discomfort, always finding things to distract him, or denying this state, and using inspirational struggle to transfer.

Now, denying what you are denying is all fear and discomfort, not some youthful confusion, not human nature.

Who am I?

This question is not an inconsequential philosophical category, nor does it know what to think about when you are full of food and have nothing to do.

I don't even know who I am, what are I still living?

Pushed forward by society, parents, family, school, and hit by the tide of fear, I have to rush forward with the waves before I have time to think.

Think about the darkness behind the sheep, the flock of sheep that keeps running in the face of the fear behind them, who would think?

Yuan Changwen is the sheep that has fallen behind.

All the things that fear oneself do not exist. At the end of the day, I'm terrifying myself.

Isn't it? I make up that the future is terrible, I make up that reality is cruel, I make up that the world is hostile, I make up that if I don't work hard, I will die if I don't succeed, I make up that if I don't have a house or a car, I will die.

Even, it's better to die.

(Society is so cruel, so teenagers, you have to work hard, and you have to exchange the good years for the wonderful life.) ）

Everything is false, everything is self-defined. Things are things in themselves, it's just thinking about them that makes them good and bad. Moreover, this kind of thinking is not my thinking, it is someone else's thinking. 】

Is there anything crazier than this to demand from yourself with other people's thinking, other people's living standards?

I'm going to kill the "self"!

Why hasn't it worked yet?

Why can you still be easily influenced, as if your killing didn't start at all?

Depend on!

Can anyone point me in, am I doing the right thing, am I moving forward, or am I just spinning in the same place for so many chapters?

Yuan Changwen suddenly wanted to cry, a strong sense of sadness filled his heart, and the layer of honey wrapped outside seemed to be no longer sweet, just sticky.

Hum!

If you want to find a teacher, what is it?

It's just a means of survival for the "self"!

What is there to teach?

It is nothing more than the procrastination of the "self", nothing more than thinking that more knowledge can be learned, nothing more than escaping the current state.

It's always better to have a teacher.

Shit!

What's so good? What is the basis for this? Or is it a rigorous statistical calculation?

No, nothing, just a casual sentence that seems to make sense.

The "ego" wants to be distracted, it doesn't want me to keep going, it wants to use the previous means to get me back. Because it knows that if this path goes on, it will end.

Listen to your teacher?

Bah!

Listening means no action, no killing, just sitting there and listening.

Either it's being chopped or it's not being chopped!

That's it, all other explanations are whitewashing, all evasions.

What's there to hear?

Clear everything that is not true, and all that remains is true.

No tricks, no tricks, just get rid of the unreal. Any question you want to ask is an avoidance, a distraction, and a distraction.

The only truth, "I exist".

Nothing else is true, what's the problem? How could there be a problem?

All questions are not lacking in answers, they are merely means of "self" procrastination. When I went to find the answer, I had already fallen into the trap of the devil.

Then, thinking that you are moving forward, thinking that you are looking for answers, is actually spinning!

[So, what about me? What about my current situation?]

(Forget it, don't think too much, didn't you say you want to surrender?, look, now that the woman is extending an invitation, and it's so appropriate, all you need to do is nod your head.) Isn't this surrender?)

[I don't know...... Once I nodded, it meant a change of direction, and I couldn't continue to kill. I need to think about how to communicate with others, how to use metaphors to explain better. These are all to prevent the killing!]

(Ouch, don't be so rigid.) People have to learn to be flexible and not stick to one goal. We could have killed while getting paid, right, wouldn't it be perfect to kill two birds with one stone?)

[You can keep your job, you can keep your humanity, you can kill your "self" without affecting your family?

[Why do I think I have the ability to do something that even the Buddha can't do? This is just a means for the "self" to survive, and of course I am willing to do this kind of beautiful promise. Unfortunately, this is not possible. 】

[It's all "self", Yuan Changwen wants to control and get all the good things in the world. At the end of the day, it's still show-off and vanity, or fear of not having these things. 】

Look at the present, there is no good or bad morality, only the so-called true and unreal. Does it make sense?)

[It doesn't matter if it's meaningful or meaningless, once you choose with the values of society, you've already fallen into the devil's deception. 】

[Weighing is nothing more than calculating the benefits and losses. The point is that all the gains and losses are not real, and isn't it ridiculous to choose and act in the unreal?

[Clear the unreal, I don't see any meaning.] But this matter itself is not something that can be weighed at the level of social value, because social value itself has no value. 】

(No turning back?Even if you lose your family, even if your baby doesn't have a father in the future, even if you just beg on the side of the road in the future, or just get a salary of more than 2,000 a month?)

It's scary to think about it, I wasn't forced to take this path. used to be one, had a family, and a wife who hugged and slept together. Although the two often quarrel, they are also married after all.

There are also my own parents, who have worked hard to bring up themselves, although they have the idea of raising children to prevent old age, they still love me after all.

If he really leaves the mental hospital, it is estimated that he can really only find some basic jobs, and maybe the monthly salary is only more than 2,000.

So, scared?

Fear is the devil's best means, which of us decides not to choose between fear?

Maybe it's just a decision, and it doesn't involve fear.

Finally I understood the words: Come on, let the storm come harder!

It turns out that there will really be such a moment, expecting things to be more cruel, more irritable, and crazier.

Hehe, kind of interesting.

Yuan Changwen looked at his palm, it seemed that even the palm print had changed, so he pretended that his fate had also changed.

There's no such thing as fate at all, though.

Come on, come on, let all who should come come.