What the hell am I doing?

I don't know, and I don't want to know.

Knowing what you're doing is nothing more than following a twist in your head and believing that your actions can lead to the intended goal. Isn't that? How do I know I'm going to get there?

If the twist in the mind is so correct, then why do you always fail? Why do you always fail to achieve your desired goals? Hasn't anyone ever doubted the question?

Why is the character of Yuan Changwen still alive, why hasn't he died yet, and how long is it going to haunt me? I know that it's stupid to touch the truth, and I know that cultivating to the truth will only ruin my life, but I am even more uncomfortable at the moment, even more uncomfortable because of the existence of the character.

The high wall of thinking made me unable to see anything else at all, and I had no interest in the role of Yuan Changwen. Whether he is powerful or flying, whether he succeeds or fails, I am not interested.

I want to see the truth, I want to know how this false world came about, and how it was carefully planned to fool all human beings.

What else to do?

I'm so uncomfortable, so sad, that tears are falling down my face, and I don't know why. However, the role of Yuan Changwen is not qualified to exist, let alone prevent me from seeing the world.

Why is it that such a well-planned dream is not enjoyable, but follows the tide without purpose? Why is it firmly bound by fear? Why does it look at the world from someone else's point of view? Why do I have to do it so because everyone is like this?

Why do I still envy others, and why do the characters' emotions still pull me wantonly?

Damn it!

No, I can't expect a character to have no emotion, because the character is fake, so it doesn't make a difference whether the character has emotion or doesn't have emotion.

Cultivated to the truth, it has nothing to do with the character.

Therefore, those good people and good deeds, those hard books, have nothing to do with cultivating to the truth. Touching the real is not something that characters can do in the first place, and that's what causes this confusion...... Is it?

What is important about the character, what is important about the story of the character, how important are those successes, those life necessities, those colleague connections, those work achievements?

Even, being alive is not an important thing.

Who knows what happens after death? If you don't know, why is there such a fear of death?

Hey, that's an interesting idea. The fear of having no money, the fear of living a miserable life, I can still find a realistic contrast. Maybe some people don't work hard, and in the end they can only live in a bungalow, with an income of only more than 2,000 a month, and then barely make ends meet.

But what about death -- who knows what will happen after death -- there is no comparison, it's a completely unfounded guess. How does the idea that death is a terrible thing permeate society?

Even the empire, which is so technologically advanced, still hasn't overcome death, and is still doing something to change its brain to continue its own survival.

Why fear death?

Just because I saw someone dead, that person didn't move and didn't speak. However, this does not prove that death is a terrible thing, nor does it mean that a dead person is a bad thing that the sky has fallen.

Moreover, if a family member dies and he doesn't cry or feel sad, it seems that he will be considered to have no conscience or something.

What could be funnier than that?

Ha!

It's true that the character has nothing to do with me, and the character is indeed false in any way. But I'm just that awareness, and I can only be aware of everything about the character. Through the position of the character's eyes, you can perceive the view of the landscape, the inner activities of the character, and the perception of the character's perception when you see things.

So, the distortion in the character's mind prevents me from seeing the world!

That's it, it's not indifferent at all, it's that the character has to be killed. Because I can only perceive everything about the character, and if the character is full of thoughts, then I can only perceive the distortions in the character's mind.

If the character isn't distorted, the whole person is just empty and nothing else fills the character. Then, I can see the whole world through the eyes of the character, and see the world itself.

When there is no distortion in the mind, the character's behavior can only follow the flow of life, then I am not only aware of the distorted choices and trade-offs in the character's mind, but can expand along the flow of life. And, when encountering anything, the character does not think through the distortion in his head, but just watches.

Just like me, just that awareness.

So, it must be killed!

Of course, it doesn't matter if you don't want to kill, you can continue to retain the various attributes of the character. But that wasn't my choice, or rather, at the moment I sensed that the character didn't want to keep going.

Do I really have a choice? It's just a hatred of the twist, and if I like it, what's the reason to kill the character?

Over the years, although I have not lived happily every day, I have never been like now, the whole person is always pulled by fear, like gunpowder exposed to the outside, whoever touches it explodes.

I'm damned, that's who I am. Those recreational facilities, even roller coasters, are only a temporary relief. But why should I alleviate it? Why should I resist it? Right, there's no evidence that negative emotions are a bad thing.

Having said that, the people who have been on the roller coaster have very sincere smiles, and they don't seem to see any distortion at that moment.

The character prevents me from seeing the world, and this "I" does not refer to that awareness, because that awareness is just awareness, and there is certainly no preference. Therefore, this "I" refers to part of the thinking of the character of Yuan Changwen, who wants to see the world.

Sure enough, he was committing suicide.

Please kill yourself quickly, okay? Please be fierce! Burst a little! Can you solve it all at once?

Crazy, crazy, why are you still lying so calmly in the lake?

Yuan Changwen, you should struggle to make the whole lake boil!

Without the role of Yuan Changwen, what the character cares about and what the character grasps are all nothingness. That awareness is everything, and all "non-awareness" is nothing but false and non-existent.

What else is there to say, and what is there to stop me?

I'll admit that at the moment, the role still has the upper hand and is still in control of my life. However, it didn't last long, and the consequence that made me so uncomfortable was that the character would be killed. Do you think I'm still the same Yuan Changwen I used to be, so I want to be happy and happy, so I avoid discussing these things?

You're dead!

Trust me, you won't live long, character. You're making me so uncomfortable, I'm still keeping you alive, do I have something wrong with my TM brain?

Don't even want to live!

Anyway, I'm that awareness, and I can't die at all. Even if it's just thinking about simulating that awareness right now, I still don't want you to live.

What's the point of being a character alive, and what can I do other than prevent me from seeing the world?