I pushed the door and just wanted to go in, Zhang Xiaoya grabbed me from behind, and dragged me back, she seemed to be determined to say, she said: "Charlai, whether you want to break off your friendship with me or not, I always have to say, Lin Rongshen is going back abroad, just leave today, do you know? You obviously like to care about each other, but why do you have to make a fuss like this, and you don't get along with each other?"

At this moment, I wanted to cover my ears with my hands to prevent those words from drilling into my ears, but I didn't just stand there with a numb face from beginning to end, watching Zhang Xiaoya's dry lips close one by one, and her words kept running back and forth in my ears.

After Zhang Xiaoya had all the words out, seeing that I had not reacted, she grabbed my shoulders and shook me vigorously and said, "Charlelai! Wake up! He has been pursuing your lifelong dream all his life, why do you have everything at your fingertips, but you don't understand how to give up? Do you not understand what you are doing?"

I know very well what I am doing, so I deal with this matter more rationally, Lin Rongshen and I are born to be impulsive, and there are so many things and grievances in between, not to mention the problems of Lin Rongshen and his grandfather, just my mother believes that even if she hangs herself, she will not let me be with Lin Rongshen.

It's a thing that knows the end at the beginning, why should I take such a big risk to try? I'm not young anymore, and now Charlais is not as brave and reckless as she used to be, and she can't afford to take such a big toss.

It's not so much that she's not brave now, but that she's cowardly, and she can't break her bones for a relationship anymore, because she's afraid of the consequences.

Zhang Xiaoya shook me for a long time, and when she saw that my face was like ashes, she said, "Are you really going to give up?"

I thought about it and nodded.

Zhang Xiaoya said again: "Can you forget him?"

I nodded again.

Zhang Xiaoya said: "This is your last chance, Zhang Ze said that if Lin Rongshen leaves this time, he may never come back." ”

I said, "I know." ”

Zhang Xiaoya said: "You won't regret it?"

I said, "No." ”

Zhang Xiaoya saw my hopeless look, so she could only nod and say, "Okay, anyway, everyone is an adult, you also have your own ideas, I won't force you anymore, what I want to say is finished, you can think about it again." ”

I snorted.

Zhang Xiaoya left with a look of hatred that iron could not become steel.

After she left, I stood at the door in a daze, and I didn't notice that the key in my hand had fallen to the ground, until an old woman of sixty or seventy years old came out of the house opposite and saw me standing there stupidly, and looked at me defensively.

After she left, I also went into the house, took an early bath, and went to bed, but that night, in fact, I didn't close my eyes at all, and when I went to work the next day, I felt that my legs were floating.

In those days, I was in a very bad state, when facing the camera, my eyes were not focused, and I couldn't talk alive or dead, so scared that Sister Tan thought that something big had happened in my family.

She felt that I was not suitable for work in this state, so she gave me a few days off, saying that it was for me to go out and have fun, and it didn't matter if I came back to work after I had had enough.

I also feel that I don't have the energy to go to work again, although I say it lightly, but I really want to remove Lin Rongshen from my heart, which is equivalent to peeling off a layer of skin.

I also agreed to rest, in fact, there is nothing to do to rest, just stay in my room every day to sleep, and when I wake up, I sit at the window in a daze, Zhang Xiaoya every time I see this state of death, I keep falling behind me and saying that I deserve it, obviously there is room for maneuver, but I just do it here.

She also said that the more I wanted to die, the more she started, the happier she became, so that I didn't listen to her before.

Actually, I don't regret my decision, but I don't deny that I'm sad, and being sad and not regretting it afterwards are two different things.

I thought, just give me a while, get used to finally not having him, get used to being alone, get used to forgetting him, don't like him, one day I will be cured.

It's not necessarily a good thing to keep suppressing yourself.

Zhang Xiaoya is a typical knife-mouthed tofu heart, although she scolds me for deserving it, she still pays attention to my emotions, and is afraid that I will do something impulsive, and she has to come to confirm my safety every day before going to bed.

Seeing her look like she was afraid of me committing suicide, I sometimes wanted to laugh inexplicably, thinking that she was more confused than me? But I was still very moved, fortunately, fortunately with her, so I would not be so helpless now.

After I got better, Zhang Xiaoya thought that I couldn't fall like this anymore, she thought that I needed to start a new relationship, so she suddenly went crazy and looked for some men who matched my conditions to go on a blind date with me.

Actually, I don't refuse much, after all, I really can't be alone like this all the time, and I also want someone to accompany me, so she arranged for me, I will basically go to meet one or two, and I will also get along with each other with my heart.

All the way down the blind date, there is a good one, the appearance conditions are not bad, the conversation and I are quite compatible, the two of them have also eaten a few meals together, but they have always maintained a contact that is not salty or light.

Zhang Xiaoya has been lobbying by my side, saying that let me be positive, although the other party has also been divorced, but he has no children and no daughters, his family background is innocent, and he is honest, he is the best choice to be a husband, and he also said that people have a very good impression of me, but because I have a cold attitude, I have not dared to make any moves.

Every time Zhang Xiaoya says these words, I usually ignore them, I am like this, I will not deliberately rush to develop something with him, but I think it is not bad to start with friends first, and I will not change anything, Zhang Xiaoya was anxious to death by the state between us.

On Saturday, the man suddenly asked me to go hiking with Zhang Xiaoya and Zhang Ze, I didn't want to go, but Zhang Xiaoya kept threatening me that if I didn't agree, she would break off her friendship with me.

There was no way, she had too much affection during this time, and she could only agree to climb the mountain under her threat.

But the sun was shining on the day I climbed the mountain, but I felt that the whole person had an indescribable discomfort, as for where I was uncomfortable, I didn't know, it seemed to be a little nauseous, and it seemed to be a little fever.