When he was chatting with Qiao Chen in the living room, he didn't know that I was awake, and when he opened the door and was about to come out to drink water, he heard Qin Zeyang say,

"Lin Cheng is looking for people all over the world, and I thought that Wanjing went back to Nanxian, but who knows, the people over there in Nanxian came to Nanjing to find Wanjing again, a man, named Zhao Wei, met me once, Qiao Chen, in fact, looking at them so anxious Wanjing, I really want to say that I know where Wanjing is, but I can't ignore Wanjing's feelings, she is a poor and stubborn girl, I can help her very little, she has asked others to help for so many years, I just want to do what she asks. But looking at her now, I hate myself again. As soon as I got home, my mom asked me how she was, why didn't I take her to the hospital, and to be honest, every time my mom asked me if she wasn't your friend, I felt embarrassed every time I asked me. ”

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Qiao Chen is very busy every day, basically sleeping during the day, busy until midnight or early morning back, not bothering to wash her face and brush her teeth, sometimes jumping into bed without taking off her clothes, in her words, she is simply tired like a dog. {Ranwen,Experience the latest and fastest reading.\\52ranen.\\net}Because I'm afraid that I'm alone at home,She said that she would find a nanny to take care of my daily life.,Originally, I could do a good job of housework or something.,But as my belly gets bigger day by day,My stomach hurts sometimes it's scary.,Qiao Chen found an aunt categorically.,People are very simple.,Very kind and gentle.,Always reminds me of my grandmother.。

Qin Zeyang didn't contact me for a long time, he often called Qiao Chen, but every time they talked, Qin Zeyang asked Qiao Chen if I was okay and how was the current situation, Qiao Chen's words were half true and half false, coaxing Qin Zeyang to reassure him.

Every time Qin Zeyang called, I wanted to rush over and snatch the phone in Qiao Chen's hand and ask how Lin Cheng was doing, that kind of self-conscious impulse made me look down on myself very much, and every time at that time, I felt like I was committing a demon.

The most difficult thing during this time is not my stomach pain, but the child's prenatal examination, I dare not go to the hospital blatantly, but I am worried about the condition of the child, I had to ask Qiao Chen to help me find a way, Qiao Chen has been a private detective for a few years, there are a lot of resources, she is also enthusiastic, saying that we can no longer do the examination in Nanjing, so I asked her partner to take me to Shanghai at night, and the next day in Shanghai for examination. Because it's not a fixed hospital, Qiao Chen helped me with the formalities and the like.

That night in Shanghai, we went to the Bund, stood by the Huangpu River, looked at the six mouths opposite, the wind was blowing violently, blowing, blowing until my fingers were cold, and my hair stood on end.

I'll admit, at that time, I really missed Lin Cheng.

Would like to.

Everything is fine for the child, but because of malnutrition, the childbearing is worse than the average child, and there is no deformity in the five months, which is the only thing that makes me feel at ease during this time.

After taking birth control pills and painkillers, it can still grow up so healthily, and it must be a very strong child when it is born in the future.

Qiao Chen took off her clothes and put them on me, she looked into my eyes and asked, "Wanjing, you say, why are you insisting so much?"

The street lamps on the Bund are very sea-like, and they look particularly good in the dim light. I was stabilized by Qiao Chen's words, stunned to the side, and didn't speak for a long time.

Qiao Chen smiled faintly, "If you don't want children, you can receive treatment, the current level of treatment for stomach cancer in China is still possible, or, go abroad, remove half of your stomach, do chemotherapy, as long as you want to live, it's not so difficult." But you resolutely chose the child, why? You are still so young, you will have a chance in the future. Speaking of which, you are so stupid, I finally know why Qin Zeyang has a sad expression every time he talks about you. You are a tough and determined girl. ”

"Qiao Chen, I never thought about this problem, or rather, when faced with a choice, I insisted on today's choice without half a moment's hesitation. "I looked at the river with amazement, a few yachts on the sparkling water, a few bank cocktail parties, and a palatial world inside. "Qiao Chen, when we have a desire in our hearts, we don't need to choose. ”

When I was five months old, I still vomited a lot, I vomited darkly, I vomited whatever I ate, and continued to eat after I vomited. According to the doctor's instructions, I started to take calcium tablets, and my aunt specially ate for nutritious meals, but no matter how hard I tried to eat, my weight was still declining day by day, and it was said that pregnant women would gain weight, but my weight was only lost but not gained.

Qiao Chen and Auntie often looked at me and said worriedly, Wanjing, you are really worrying like this, you girl, it is strange and distressing.

In fact, they only saw the side of me losing weight, and they didn't see that when my stomach hurt to death, every time I was in pain, I hid in the room, covered with a quilt, curled up in a ball, and put my hand on my stomach, and I could feel the lumps on my lower abdomen getting more and more day by day.

Sometimes it hurts so much that I really feel like I'm about to die, that feeling is terrible, I tugged on the quilt tightly, and told myself over and over again, Gu Wanjing, you have to come on, you have to come on, you have to endure, you have to give birth to a child safely, you must give birth to a child safely. [Ranwen 123/\/%^.\]

During that time, I really used all my life's strength to work hard and persevere, I never felt so strong, I just wanted to pull the ligaments, when I pressed it down, I wanted to roar and give up, but you told yourself over and over again in your heart, persevere, persevere, and hold on a little more, and then hold on, and then persevere.

And just like that, after effort, you succeed.

That's how I am.

However, people are not as good as heaven, and when fate comes, all you can do is obey fate.

When Qin Zeyang came to see me, it was when the child was seven months old, and he finally had the courage to come to see me, except that he was helping me find a lawyer for a divorce, Qin Zeyang didn't say a word about Lin Cheng, only once, when he was doing a prenatal checkup in Shanghai, he said, Wanjing, maybe you should let Lin Cheng face all this.

At that time, I didn't speak, thinking about the appearance of a child when I was doing the color, and my heart was sour.

Qin Zeyang may feel that he shouldn't have Lin Cheng in front of me, after all, I have a resolute attitude, but with the loss of time, especially when I have no relatives, I miss the past very much. He didn't tell me, but he couldn't help but tell Qiao Chen, some words couldn't be held back, and he had to find someone to confide in.

When he was chatting with Qiao Chen in the living room, he didn't know that I was awake, and when he opened the door and was about to come out to drink water, he heard Qin Zeyang say, " Lin Cheng was looking for people all over the world, and thought that Wanjing had gone back to Nanxian, but who knows, the people from Nanxian came to Nanjing to find Wanjing again, a man, named Zhao Wei, met me once, Qiao Chen, in fact, looking at them so anxious Wanjing, I really want to say that I know where Wanjing is, but I can't ignore Wanjing's feelings, she is a poor and stubborn girl, I can help her very little, she has asked for help from others for so many years, I just want to do what she asks. But looking at her now, I hate myself again. As soon as I got home, my mom asked me how she was, why didn't I take her to the hospital, and to be honest, every time my mom asked me if she wasn't your friend, I felt embarrassed every time I asked me. ”

Qin Zeyang said that Lin Cheng was going crazy, and the company couldn't see people all day long, Zhao Suyun was so angry that he went to the company in person, so as not to swallow the company.

He said that Lin Cheng had moved out of that house, and he had talked to me many times, all of which were to find Wanjing, and he said that he had done a lot of wrong things in his life, and he wanted Wanjing to give him a chance to make up for it. But Lin Cheng didn't know that it wasn't Wanjing who didn't give him a chance, but that Wanjing didn't give him a chance.

"Qiao Chen, she has despaired of this world, or rather, she has lost the confidence to live, neither you nor I can empathize with the pain that Wanjing has endured over the years, she is only twenty-four years old, what a beautiful age, it is the time when Jiaoyan life has come to an end. ”

"Qiao Chen, she is too herself, she doesn't give herself a chance at all. ”

Then, I heard Qin Zeyang's sobbing voice.

This is the first time I have heard Qin Zeyang cry and cry for me.

Qiao Chen comforted him and said, "Qin Zeyang, after so many years, you still like her so much, but why don't you try hard? She needs a shoulder now, you are so good, Gu Wanjing is not a fool, she knows." ”

"You're wrong, she needs shoulders, but not mine, never. She has loved Lin Cheng from beginning to end, but you see, she doesn't need Lin Cheng, such a lonely girl, no matter how hard I try, it's useless, it's better for me to do a good job as a friend, so that she can see my existence. ”

I suddenly realized that in this world, the only person who can understand me and understand me best is Qin Zeyang.

If I go back in time, I will definitely choose Qin Zeyang, I will, I think.

Qin Zeyang is right, it's not that I don't give Lin Cheng a chance, I don't give myself a chance. I lost hope in the world, in myself. Although I love Limcheng, I don't have the strength to love anymore.

I chose the most decisive way to be liberated.

And this way, no one but myself can accept it. Well, I'd rather face choice alone, face death, face pain, face despair.

The rest of the people, let's live well.

Sister, I'm about to go to you. Don't blame me, who told me to be as stubborn as you.

When the child was eight months old, I had lost weight to only ninety-four pounds, and the whole person was described as withered, I didn't dare to look in the mirror, my face was as pictured, and my eyes had heavy dark circles because of lack of sleep. Recently, in the middle of the night, I always lost consciousness in pain, because my stomach was big, I couldn't roll, I could only hold on to the quilt tightly, sometimes biting the quilt hard, and finally losing strength a little bit, fainting in pain.

Sometimes I faint two or three times a day, and I can't sleep at night, and the whole person is in a feeling of emptiness, looking at the empty room, I have an inexplicable feeling, I always feel that something is approaching me.

What made me decide to have an early caesarean section was at noon that day, I fainted in the living room, because the pain was unbearable, my mouth was dry, I slowly leaned against the wall to the living room to find water to drink, at that time I had no strength in my body, I walked against the wall, I didn't even have the strength to hold the cup, I just drank a sip of water, my eyes were dark, and then the cup in my hand slipped to the ground, and then, the pain hit again, I fainted directly to the ground.

When my aunt came back from grocery shopping, she was half frightened when she saw me lying on the ground, and immediately called Qiao Chen, and then called 12o to take me to the hospital.

When I woke up, I had glucose in my hands, Qin Zeyang and his mother, as well as my previous obstetrician, as well as Qiao Chen and my aunt, were all standing in front of the hospital bed looking at me, waiting for me to wake up.

The first thing I said when I opened my eyes was if the child was okay.

Everyone had red eyes, my aunt came forward to hold my hand, and I felt a burst of warmth in my cold palm, "The child is fine, don't worry, Wanjing, rest good first." ”

I moved my dry mouth, Qin Zeyang sniffed, then helped me pour water, wet my lips with the wet in front of me, I saw the tears in his eyes, and then smiled vigorously, "Frightened, right?"

Qin Zeyang's brows furrowed, as if he was trying to hold back his tears, "It's okay." ”

Then Qin Zeyang's mother and obstetrician asked me, "Wanjing, you are still hospitalized in this condition, your fainting is definitely not a condition that only appears today, you know your condition very well, you are not King Kong, although the cancer cells have not metastasized, but the pain is unbearable for ordinary people, not to mention that you are still pregnant." In addition, you have temporary blindness. You weigh only 45 kilograms now, and your child is not very good. ”

I know all this from the doctor, but I can't do anything if I have to endure and wait?

I had no choice.

A room full of people were watching me, waiting for my answer.

I turned my head to look out the window, the pace of spring in Nanjing is coming quite quickly, and I can already smell the breath of spring.

"It's February, right?" I asked.

"Well, it's February. Qiao Chen said.

"The child is full-term, Auntie, you can help me dissect it, I'm afraid I won't be able to wait for that time." Now that I'm alive, I can still see her. ”

"But the child is not well-raised, Wanjing, you have to think about it. Or you listen to me, stay in the hospital, and then we will take care of you all the time, which will also help the child's upbringing and your condition. The doctor looked at me with pity on his face.

I shook my head and smiled bitterly, "I don't want to be hospitalized." ”

"Child, you have to think about the good, you have to believe in miracles, you see, there are too many miracles in you. Qin Zeyang's mother comforted.

"Yes, Wanjing, you are so resilient, I'm not afraid that you won't be able to survive!" When he said this, Qiao Chen, who had always been capable and strong, cried.

The aunt has already cried into tears, wiping her tears one after another.

"No, just help me dissect it, I know my own body very well, even if I wait until the due date, I don't have the strength to give birth, I'm afraid that I won't even have a chance to open my eyes and take a look." It's better to be born now, maybe I can stay with her for a while. I said in a choked voice.

Then, everyone fell silent.

After a while, Qin Zeyang and his mother went out to discuss with the obstetrician, Qiao Chen went to help me check the report, and my aunt went home to help me make soup, leaving Qin Zeyang alone to accompany me in the ward.

He took a pillow and put it behind my back, I slowly got up and lay down, touching my stomach, my name is Qin Zeyang, "Come here, listen to its voice." ”

Qin Zeyang followed as he said, gently put his head on my stomach, and then looked at me in surprise, "It's moving!"

"Hmm. I smiled and said, "Qin Zeyang, forget about the divorce, I guess I won't be able to wait for that time." People who don't see me, Lin Cheng won't agree, I'm destined to be entangled with him in this life, it's just that, I don't want to fight, anyway, I'm in the palm of his hand from beginning to end. Now I'll tell you a few things, and you must promise me, you must. ”

Qin Zeyang nodded, with a solemn expression on his face, "Say it." ”

"If I give birth to a child and fail to open my eyes, you contact Lin Cheng and give the child to him, but don't tell him where I am, if he embarrasses you, you will say that this is my last wish, and I don't want to see him again in my life. ”

"Wanjing, you are so stupid, do you think that Lin Cheng can forget about you and start anew?Do you think he is such a heartless person?" Qin Zeyang said in one sentence, and suddenly said what I really thought in my heart.

I denied it, forced a smile and said, "You think too much, I really don't want to see him again." Zeyang, I hate him, you tell him, just like he didn't have me in his life, I will ask Meng Po for a few more bowls of soup at Nai He Bridge, I will forget him, forget all of you, forget all of you, forget all the past. ”

Qin Zeyang looked at me sadly, he didn't know what to say, he seemed to have a thousand words, and he couldn't say a word in front of me.

"In addition, I have already thought of the name of the child, whether it is a boy or a girl, it is called worry-free, I hope it can grow up healthy and healthy, without a little sorrow. Zeyang, you are my best friend, I will ask you to help me take care of the child. ”

Qin Zeyang nodded heavily to show his promise.

"Finally, you contact Zhao Wei, don't tell him that I'm gone, just say that I went out to wander and will never come back, thank him for everything he has done for me, and also tell him that I have forgotten everything in the past, ask him to live well, and then, trouble him to go to my sister's grave every year, and go every year. ”

"Oh, by the way, as for myself," I smiled, thinking to myself that I was such a fool, I had forgotten it, "after I leave, don't have a funeral, don't have any ceremony, let me go quietly, and help me scatter the ashes into the Yangtze River." Well, that's all, I'm done, do you remember?"

Then, I only heard Qin Zeyang crying loudly.

I think that for Qin Zeyang and for anyone, I am too cruel.

As soon as I finished saying everything, Qin Zeyang, his mother and the obstetrician pushed the door open and came in, and they decided to do it.

"Wanjing, we have decided to give you surgery tomorrow afternoon, cesarean section. ”

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