It's as if everything is taken for granted, friendship is thrown away as a matter of course, family is thrown away as a matter of course, and society as a whole is thrown away as a matter of course. Ideas that once seemed more important, such as how to live a better life, no longer seem to be able to control me perfectly.

I'm still going to be affected, but when the distortions in my head start to kick in, it's always accompanied by the spell "These aren't real". It's like background noise, or like a show commercial, it doesn't allow me to get completely into the twist in my head.

I really can't figure out why I want to hold on to my family and not let go. What is there to grasp, and what qualifications does the product of emotion have to stand in the position of truth and be arrogant?

And abandoning one's family also seems to leave a gap for false intrusion. For example, if I don't contact my family anymore, it is easy to develop into something like "I'm a person who abandons my family for the sake of killing, how can I not kill my family?" or "I've abandoned my family, look how good I am, I have to kill it" and so on.

There was one me there, but in fact, there wasn't one me at all. It's not me who touches the truth, it's not me who wakes up, I'm just a picture element, and I can only be in the picture element forever.

When the limit goes to the infinite, the limit is no longer the limit. And I can only exist in limitations, an infinite self? This statement is problematic, as if there is an "infinite self" and an "infinite space" to accommodate this "infinite self".

It doesn't matter what you should do, I have been immersed in the question of how to choose, as if I always have to find a suitable way to choose when I encounter a certain situation. However, this kind of rule is just a kind of nonsense, or rather, there are no rules.

The key point is the state of my heart. Whether or not it is pulled by the distortion in the brain is the key to destroying the problem. I don't care how to choose, as long as I don't pull, this problem naturally doesn't exist.

The reason why I ask these questions, and why I want to find a better choice in life, is that I am afraid that I will choose the wrong one, and I am afraid that I will go in the wrong direction in life. Valuing this and valuing that, or in other words, being pulled by the distortion of the mind and facing the so-called dilemma, it is natural to want to find the best way to choose.

But in fact, when you are not pulled by the distortion in your head, there will naturally be no dilemma. I don't need to worry about how to choose, those things are like waste paper in front of me, I don't need to worry and it doesn't matter.

I've been focusing on words and deeds, and I've been caring about the specifics of my choices, ignoring that the whole world is not real. It doesn't matter what you choose, how you choose, it's what makes you pull.

Everything about the characters is unreal, so what else is there to discuss. The twists that dragged me down, the things that wanted to control me anyway, getting rid of them and slashing them was the point.

I don't have to stand on the side of "I'm a friend killer" and then turn away all friendships, as if I had set a box and put it in and made it real.

There is also no need to stand on the side of "friendship must be maintained more or less", and then compromise and let the twist in my mind adopt a policy of softness to control me. Like, I should keep some friendship, I should maintain some interpersonal relationships.

None of them are right.

Since it's not a reservation, it's not a complete removal, it's not dragged by these things, and it has nothing to do with these things at all.

The key is whether the distortion in the brain is still arrogant, and the words and deeds that come out of it do not matter at all. As long as the distortion in my mind disappears, it doesn't matter if I'm chasing fame and fortune, maintaining relationships, or killing people and setting fires.

Maybe words and actions will have an impact on society, they will have an impact on others, and when the distortions in the mind disappear, these will no longer matter. Because the part that judges whether it is important or not, and whether it is moral or not, has been killed.

I focus on my words and deeds, which is equivalent to trying to kill through imitation, and ignore the many distortions in my heart. That emotion of holding on to something, that tension of thinking that it can't happen or can't be discarded, pulls at the ship of life like an anchor.

That's what I'm going to kill, that's my opponent. It's not fear, it's not worry, it's not bullshit like human weakness. I have only one opponent, and that is falsehood.

The word untrue is enough, and all that remains is to fight emotions with emotions and fear with madness and anger.

Of course, I know what happens when I abandon friendship and family love, my friends may throw me out of the circle, and my family will cry for me. If this judgment itself is a distortion, it may not be so, and this statement is only a reassurance.

It made me think that maybe things would get better, maybe things weren't as bad as I thought they were. But it could well be that bad, or even worse. I need to confront my fears directly and let them happen, not to appease the fearful mind.

It doesn't matter what the content of the fear is, even if it happens even worse. Because it's not real at all, these things are sad in themselves, these things make me sad, they are all unreal.

People seem to instinctively think about themselves, instinctively seek happiness and avoid pain. And I, on the other hand, is going in the opposite direction. No one will accept this, and the distortion in the mind is easy to accept the judgment of the world. But abandoning one's family just because it's not true is something that can only be shouted at by everyone.

These pains are not real, these discomforts are not real, the tears of family members are not real, the chats between friends are not real. Since it is not real, it must be killed, and there is no qualification to stay in my head.

Neither the policy of softness nor the toughness of fear will allow these distortions to continue to control me. Distortion is distortion, control is control, does it have anything to do with what method? High emotional intelligence management, so that others do not realize that they are being managed, so all this is not management?

Slaves don't realize that they're slaves, so it's not slavery? Maybe for slaves, if they don't realize they're enslaved, it's certainly not slavery.

I think that the planet is square, so for me there is no such thing as "the planet is round", so for me that the planet is square, that is, the truth is the truth. I only recognize that the planet is square, and there is no such thing as an objective thing to testify to.

Consciousness is everything, not content. Whatever the character believes is false, the whole character itself is false.