Yuan Changwen was very uncomfortable, uncomfortable for unknown reasons. Nothing happened, just discomfort enveloped the whole body.

I want to die!

This discomfort is not strong, but it is tightly tugging on yourself. Why aren't the characters dead, why are they still alive, and what qualifications do those self-defined beings have to continue to rule all this?

Nothing is real, but everything is real, am I having a problem with my brain? Isn't it enough to figure out the distortion in my mind after so many chapters of slashing?

I wanted to tear myself apart like a newspaper and tear the character apart. Maybe not human, maybe someone else will think of me as a monster, but none of that matters. The so-called connections and social activities are not as good as a piece of shit in front of my eyes.

Necessary interpersonal relationships? This is nonsense in itself, as if there are certain conditions that must be met in order to be human. The necessary connections, the necessary salary, the necessary conversation, the necessary humor...... It's nothing more than a kid's trick.

Is there any essential difference between believing in Santa Claus and believing in the so-called "necessary" mentioned above?

Am I mentally retarded? Why are these things still in my head? This uncomfortable feeling is like the urging of death, why haven't I died yet? I want to die, I want to die!

Funnily enough, it's the part that "wants to die" that needs to be killed.

I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I'm going to do, maybe I'm just going to die.

Nothing bad, nothing good. It's not worth celebrating, and of course no one can criticize it.

Is this devouring the character? Is this feeling a sign that you are moving forward?

Intoxicated with sorrow, embracing uncomfortable, the whole person fell into a numb depression. The things that were once cared about, the responsibilities, the inviolable self-definitions, all become irrelevant.

I don't have the most fundamental moral concept, and I don't have the most basic concept of good and evil. It happens this way because it can only happen this way. The so-called morality, good and evil are nothing but man-made distortions.

Perhaps, the definition of "human" is different from mine. Maybe everyone just thinks that having those values is worthy of being called "human". Of course, for me, none of this matters, because the characters don't exist in the first place, everything is just a visual element that I perceive at the moment.

Including the body, including the mind.

I couldn't be sure that there were really people outside the lake that I was aware of, and there were really human beings. So, when a perceived character asks me how I feel about something, I'm at a loss.

It's like the NPCs in the game are discussing the situation of the empire, what the national business situation and so on, and they are completely at a loss. I don't understand why the other person is upset, and I know that I say certain things that will make the other person happy.

However, those are nothing more than lies.

"Tomorrow the sun will rise", this is a lie. How do I know that the sun will rise tomorrow? I don't know at all, it's just my own guess, a guess based on countless astrophysics. And I take this speculation as an affirmative sentence, what is it that is not a lie?

And when someone asks, "Will the sun rise tomorrow?", but I answer that I don't know, is it deliberately finding fault? Could it be that I deliberately don't want to chat?

I don't know, other people may or may not think so. However, judging from my current situation, no one will be around me in ancient books. Of course, this is just speculation.

There is no so-called "me" at all, I am just that awareness, watching the character of Yuan Changwen think, speak and do things there. I don't know why I'm limited by the character's vision, but maybe that's a core element of careful planning.

Of course, there may be something else in the universe where you can enjoy the vision and emotions of two people, such as the so-called out-of-body incarnation. Who knows? I can't rely on my own knowledge to claim that something is not reasonable, isn't that self-deception?

How dishonest does it take to be a promise for the future? All promises, whether they can be fulfilled or not, whether they are promised because they can't be done, have a premise that cannot be escaped.

The future must exist.

How do I know that the future will exist? As discussed earlier about planning and planning, all commitments must be based on their own survival. Any pledge, then, must be preceded by the phrase "I have figured out how to make sure that I am alive tomorrow and that I will live until the day I need to make a commitment." ”

In this way, in addition to the ghost, it is still ghost.

It seems as if the future is certain. But in fact, I can only be in the moment forever, and all the future and the past are only visual elements that I perceive at this moment. No matter how much I believe in the linear passage of time, there is simply no way to prove this.

On the contrary, you can only prove that you are in this moment. In other words, there is no way to find a time point in time for "Filipino at this moment".

said that the role of Yuan Changwen has nothing to do with him, but any of his actions seem to care about this role. Anything that hurts the character, I won't let it happen. Or rather, once it happens, I'm sad.

Instead of being sad looking at the characters like a theatergoer.

I know it doesn't make sense, it's contradictory and conflicting. The character's behavior is not important, the key is that the world is not real, then the character can be completely wanton. What does it matter? murder, drug use, suicide, good people? kindness?

It doesn't matter.

In this case, it doesn't matter whether you kill or not.

However, he has no way to do it, because he always thinks that the role of Yuan Changwen is himself. Well, if there are more characters, I'll try to get more.

But on the other hand, "it doesn't matter if you can do it or not", and it doesn't matter in itself, because any situation of the character is fake.

I see falsehood, but I still take it as true. Why, I don't know. I just feel that I am very pathetic, and if I have a little sense, I will get rid of the nonsense of the character.

So, I'm mentally retarded.

What are you doing? Is it possible that you won't be able to kill it in three or five years? Of course it's possible, this is fear, and every time you think about it, you suddenly feel a sense of tension in your heart.

It's not about not being afraid, it's not about not thinking about fear, it's about facing your fear and embracing your fear. Why don't you admit that you're fearing it?

Characters will always like to be the only one, but it's none of my business.

Don't the characters know that if the kill is complete, there will be no character at all?

Perhaps, maybe I will become a negative teaching material, and be used by others to teach the character that he needs to do the same thing with everyone. Most likely, of course, no one knew they were dead at all.

Why should I speculate about the future?

I was tormented by this uncomfortable pain, not intense, but it was like in the depths of my soul. ()

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