People have confidence in what they can control, and for those who can't, they are afraid and restless, or irritable, or hateful......

The future is the most difficult to control. Because you never know if something will happen in the next second that catches you off guard.

Nowadays, what I don't like the most is when people ask me, how long do you have to take medicine?

I know that the people who ask me this question are out of concern for me. But, I really don't know......

Chronic nephritis is a disease that is very recurrent, and completely eradicating it is equivalent to fighting a protracted battle. And when the war will end, doctors can't say for sure, only approximately.

What's more, I'm not a god, so how do I know when I'm going to be okay? If I could, I wanted it to be right away.

It's understandable to ask me once or twice, but if you continue to ask me again and again when I'm okay, I really don't know! I'm also helpless, but I really don't know......

Every time I hear someone ask me this question, I feel nervous breakdown and physically and mentally exhausted......

All I can do now is to take care of my body with my heart, and leave the rest to fate.

Well, do your best, look at the destiny of heaven.

Is this a test given to me by God? Or is God really forcing me to reinvent myself?

If I can really get rid of my bad habits, develop a lot of good habits, and the whole person seems to have transformed, then this is a "disease" specially created by God for my growth.

But who knows, until the end?

And, when will it last? When will it be the last? Who knows?

The only way I can comfort myself is to try to transform myself so that I can become the person I want to be.

However, maybe I love myself so much that that that love has turned into doting, and I am pampering myself.

So, the next thing I'm going to do is be myself. After all, being gentle for too long, I really thought of myself as HelloKitty, and forgot that there was a beast deep inside me.

Now, standing in my way are bad habits that have been ingrained in me for more than a decade, and that bad habits have fueled my laziness and decadence. If I want to succeed in reforming myself, I have to get rid of that bad habit. And the intensity of getting rid of that bad habit is no less than quitting drugs and smoking, because that bad habit is also a kind of "poison".

To break a bad habit, replace it with a good habit. One good habit is not enough, so cultivate a few more good habits to top. I don't believe that a wolf is no match for a lion, and I will kill it!

It's easy to say, but it's hardest to do.

And I'm just going to push myself to be hard!

If you don't go through the hardships that go through the heart and lungs, you can't polish your new self. If I really love myself and my family enough, then this time I have to be ruthless!

No matter how uncomfortable I am, I can't be soft-hearted with myself, this battle is about the fate of me for the rest of my life.

If I win, I will be a phoenix.

If I lose, this disease is the pain I deserve.

I give myself 14 days, and within 14 days, that bad habit does not appear, and I have to spend energy to develop other good habits so that I can complete the tasks that I should complete.

People can't control the future, but they can control the present.

And the future comes from the present.

Dear self, I'm about to unleash the beast within......

May you return with the beast you are riding.