I still don't dare to let my life fall apart completely, I really don't understand what I'm worried about. The unreal doesn't exist, these things are all false, why do I hold on to it and don't let go?

What should I not discard about those opinions, opinions, people and things in my head, those familiar patterns of life that I have?

I am like a bungee jumper, standing on the edge of a high platform, knowing that everything is fine, but I just don't dare to jump down. There I kept calculating what would happen after I jumped. I understand almost all the states that you will encounter when jumping, various angles, problems, wind speed, posture, etc.

But, I just didn't jump.

The broken crystal ball was in the palm of my hand, and I held it carefully. I just want to see how long the role of Yuan Changwen can be held?! That is something that is destined to be broken, and I have spent my whole life trying to stop it.

Devour me, let the endless darkness and fear consume me.

I no longer yearn for the light, nor do I pursue happiness and beauty, the dark night is my destination.

A man, quietly, died in that thick inky shadow.

Nothing, no family, no emotion, no inspirational blood.

Death is the most beautiful girl, I don't want to leave her arms, the little girl next door under the black hood, never leaves the slightest.

If there is love, then death is the representative of loyalty. It's a pity that there is no such thing as love at all, it's just a bunch of miscellaneous control and possession, composed of fancy words.

Farewell, my life, farewell, my love.

Those careers that have been struggling for many years, those knowledge gained by fighting at night, and those insights that seem to have insight into life, are all gone.

The dark night can't accommodate colorful fairy tales.

Every costume I ever owned, a colleague, a friend, a husband, the founder of the family, the first person in the empire, etc., would be burned. Heartache, panic, but definitely not stopping.

Stop wasting your life projecting a costume, stop trying to play a role. The crystal ball in your hand, wait for it to shatter and scatter, whether it is suspended in the air to form a gorgeous starry sky, or scattered on the ground and become dull.

Let all who should come come, and let all that should appear appear.

There is nothing for me to maintain, and nothing for me to maintain. The family is thriving, the pinnacle of life, and I'm living with this pile of shit, constantly thinking about how to maintain these distortions.

It seems that I am directly set as a person, "Well, I am a person who pursues the pinnacle of life", and then, like a mad dog, desperately moving forward towards this goal. Maybe it's too monotonous, and the characters are not too full, so I continue to add more settings, what life, entertainment, hobbies, etc.

Like the characters in the game, the characters with too strong a sense of purpose will be complained by readers that they are too monotonous, too one-sided, and too flat.

No one can set me, any one, not so qualified. If you dare to set me, you have to take the risk of being killed by me.

That's right, I haven't gotten rid of the character yet, and even this break away may be one of the attributes of the character.

However, after the killing, it is definitely a different existence. The only truth, "I exist".

That's the existence of no role, that's "no-self", that's "Tao", and that's where I will go.

I'm not done yet, so keep going.

Of course, the characters will struggle, of course, they will survive, but none of that matters. It's all over, the flowers are blooming, but I'm dying.

I don't know if the empire's small potted plants were destroyed by swords.

Come on, move slowly, nothing is impossible to move forward. If there is, it is just an illusion, an illusion that I have created for myself. No matter how powerful and difficult it is to fight, it cannot change the essence of this illusion.

It's like a wisp of veil that will break if you poke it lightly.

Of course, this poke will not be easy and will require a great deal of honesty to do. And the strong emotions that envelop me are not allowed to use honesty calmly, and those "indisputable" morals or other things are the defense of emotions.

What's the point?

There is no point, the killing is just a reluctance to continue to be deceived, an unwillingness to continue lying. It's hard to choose the path of slaughter, at least I don't know if it's a collision of fate or a choice.

Seeing yourself being manipulated by your characters, seeing that your behavior patterns are all from a false self-definition, it is difficult for people to continue to sleep. Those perceptions and opinions, those labelled things, are all artificially distorted, that is, lies.

Don't underestimate the role, fear that the means of the bewitching woman will never run out. Often I think I've given up my fears, but in fact the bewitching woman is performing, and I'm in the middle of it.

I can't go back, and I don't want to go back.

It seems that as long as you nod your head and stop thinking about the truth of the hell, it will all be restored to its original state. But in fact, it's only a temporary slowdown. More likely, this temporary slowdown will allow anger to accumulate, and then a small thing will make it burn, and instantly burn the whole life of life.

Surrender and let go, the character always thinks that he can control his life, and always believes in those unfounded affirmations as a navigation indicator in life. It's no wonder that cognitive upgrades become hot, and every time something new comes out, I agree like crazy, as if this is the truth.

The way a character controls his life is based on cognition. And I know very clearly in my heart that cognition is limited, not only limited but also a small point of humility. Although I won't admit it, I won't recognize my own humility, let alone say that what I have in my head is shit.

But my various behaviors all show this, "my cognition is not enough to control life, it is far behind", it is this fact that makes me constantly upgrade my cognition in order to better control my life. But this is a futility, and even more a distortion.

I've always known this, but I'm just dishonestly pretending not to see it.

Am I surrendering? Am I letting go? Have I surrendered the rudder of the ship of life?

I don't know, I wish I did.

All the thinking is just to let go of the rudder.

The land is very solid, those self-definitions are very strong, you just need to step on it and think about nothing. I think I'm controlling my life, I think this is how life works, and I think the character is me.

Well, the game is only fun if you put in it.

Let me, a heretic, leave alone, adrift in the sea, without companions and solid ground to tread, all in vain.

The next moment, is it a whirlpool, or an iceberg, a storm or a ghost?

It doesn't matter, I want to let go, I want to let the ship of life go on its own, I want to go with the flow and see what kind of life the terrain can bring.

Character, go die.