Sometimes, when the ideas that you believe in are challenged or denied, you will feel that there is an unacceptable feeling in your heart that is provoking your patience. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

Just like when I had my teeth extracted, I always thought my wisdom teeth had come out as a child. However, when I read the explanation of wisdom teeth, I found that wisdom teeth erupt between the ages of 16 and 25.

At that time, I still couldn't accept that this was the truth, and I always thought that I was different, and I should have had wisdom teeth when I was a child. Because, I don't like to overturn what I've confirmed.

However, once when I casually looked at what I wrote in 2014, I realized that I was really wrong. When I worked in Xidesheng in 2014, I really had a long wisdom tooth that was very painful and difficult to eat.

Although I don't want to admit that I was wrong, I was really wrong.

Why do I start to be so afraid that I'm wrong at this age? Actually, if it's wrong, then change it, it's not a big deal, why am I so scared?

During the five months of being unemployed, I always wanted to finish something I wanted to do, but I always didn't finish it because of my inner inferiority.

It's the biggest price I've made so far. I've always liked to win and I didn't like to lose. But, it looks like I'm still losing. Lost to my weak heart......

The deadline for myself was up, and I had to go out and look for a job. I always thought that as long as I did what I wanted to do, then the months of unemployment would be worth it for me. And no matter what job I look for, my heart can accept it. Because as long as I can do that, it can become a strong spiritual support for me. It's a pity that there was only a beginning, but not a follow......

On the morning of looking for a job, Xiaoshi and I chatted about buckles.

Because at 10 o'clock the night before that day, I sent her a button message, saying that I miss her, and she can talk to me whatever she wants, but because I was going to look for a job the next day, I said goodnight to her in advance.

After sending that message to her, I was actually very scared inside. I was afraid that she would no longer be enthusiastic about me, that she would be cold to me...... After all, she read what I wrote.

That morning, in the atmosphere of chatting, I felt that although she was not so enthusiastic about me, she still retained a trace of warmth.

That day was a special day - the birthday of my third sister.

However, I simply sent a happy birthday and a smiley face. Because, my head is short-circuited, and I can't think of how to bless it......

Simple pay, there will naturally be simple gains.

She also replied with a simple thank you, as well as a big exclamation mark.

Although I didn't like such a simple blessing or such a simple reply, I didn't like it at the time......

The mood was inexplicably clouded, and it seemed that I didn't want to just look for a job. I can't accept that I lost this bet, everything shouldn't be like this.

Come to think of it, the things that should be prepared are still prepared normally, and then the listless shell goes to find the habitat of the numb soul.

Ride the "Little Perfect" slowly on the main road, and simply compare the job postings of companies on both sides of the road.

I don't know exactly what kind of job I need to look for, a job with enough rest time but a lower pay, or a job with a better pay but inhumane rest time?

If I can't figure this out for a day, then I won't be able to decide on the direction of my job search.

When I stopped at the entrance of an industrial park near Xidesheng to look at the job posting, there happened to be a girl from the human resources department of a company next to me looking at me with an umbrella.

Then, she greeted me naturally: "Handsome man, what kind of job do you want to find?"

If I heard a girl call me "handsome" on a normal day, I would fly with joy. However, I felt like I was tied to a boulder, and I couldn't fly at all.

I looked at her, and then replied lightly: "I don't know, I want to see first." ”

She continued: "Think about what kind of job you're looking for. ”

I asked, "What company are you?"

She pointed to the job posting on the job board and said, "It's a combination." ”

Actually, the name of the company is not a combination, the voice I hear is a combination. I looked at the job board plastered with job postings, and I just looked at it, but I didn't seem to see what combination company she was talking about. Whew, forget it, I'm not taking it very seriously anyway.

She continued, "What kind of job are you looking for?"

I simply replied, "Is there a stamping one?"

She said yes.

Then I asked some questions about working hours, working conditions, and so on.

The answer she gave me was quite satisfying.

After that, she asked me if I was sure I wanted to go in and do it.

I said yes.

Then she took me into the industrial park.

Her company is located in the corner of the industrial park in the second building in the industrial park.

As she walked in, she smiled and asked me, "You should be older than me, right?"

I looked at her height under my armpits and her skinny figure, and smiled back, "I'm in my twenties." "It feels like she's only eighteen or nineteen years old.

She looked up and asked, "What did you graduate from?"

I replied quietly, "I went to junior college, but I didn't graduate." ”

She wondered, "Why didn't you graduate?"

I replied quietly, "I can't graduate because I failed math." ”

She thought, "Oh, so what are you studying?"

I replied quietly: "Eco-friendly." ”

She nodded.

It's always embarrassing for her to ask me.

I asked, "So what did you study?"

She replied with a smile: "I came out after I finished junior high school, and after I came out, I also regretted why I didn't read more books before." ”

I nodded.

Then, she continued: "In fact, if you just come out, don't have too many requirements for salary and environment, only after you learn things seriously, the company will give you the opportunity to improve." If it still can't satisfy you, you can choose to switch jobs to other companies with good treatment. When I first came out, my first salary was 2,000 yuan, and I didn't even think about it. Later, after I learned something there, I moved to another company with a salary of 3,000 yuan. ”

I smiled and nodded, "Yes, indeed." "However, the basic salary of my first job was 1,200 yuan, and if I didn't get a commission, I only had a basic salary, but I did the same back then.

When we arrived at the second building of her company, we talked and laughed all the way up to the second floor, and then she took the form and filled it out for me. What the hell is the watch, I didn't look. In the past, when I was looking for a job, I usually filled out an entry form, so I didn't think too much about it.

After filling it out, I handed her the form and planned to give her two one-inch photos by the way. However, she said that she would give her the photo when she went to work the next day, and that it would be good to give her her ID card first.

Then, she told me to wait a little longer.

Usually by this point, I already think this is going to be my sixth job.

Soon she sat across from me with the form I filled out and started asking me questions.

She: "Do you only have a mother, why do you only have one important contact?"

Me: "No, my parents live together, and both of them know about the phone." ”

She: "Why did you resign in Xidesheng?"

Me: "Isn't it written on it?"

She: "Why do you want to go abroad?"

I smiled, "The world is so big, I want to see it." ”

Her: "Then what are you doing abroad?"

Me: "Do the next job." ”

She: "yes, what are you doing abroad?"

Me: "There's writing there, do the next job there." ”

Her: "So what does the company you work for abroad?"

Me: "Copy." Oh, learn to merchandise. ”

Her: "Then why did you quit again?"

Me: "Because I didn't learn, I don't feel like it's for me." ”

Her: "And what are you going to do in the future?"

Me: "I want to do freelancing. ”

She: "There are many types of freelancing, what do you want to do?"

Me: "I want to write about it." ”

She: "Personally, I think it's good to make these hobbies, and I can spend more time learning technology. There is a specialty, which is always good. You can take time out of your weekends to study at the nearby library, which is a great place to study, and I often go there to study. ”

Me: "Okay. ”

She: "I'll talk about the treatment of the stamping position, maybe the salary will be a little lower in the first few months, and when it can be done, the treatment will be better." Moreover, our company can provide an opportunity for excellent people to learn, such as engineers. ”

Me: "That'......"

After a long conversation, she asked me to wait a little longer, and then went back into the office.

I feel that this is the first time that I have been asked so many questions by recruiters, and I believe that this is really a good company.

When she came out, I thought she was telling me to come to work the next day, but she said something like a slap in the face, "I'm sorry!"

She said that the hours of each job were not very long, and I felt very unstable. She was worried that I would not be able to do it soon after I joined the company, so it would be difficult for her company to recruit people in the future. So, ask me to find another company.

She put down the watch, then turned around and entered the office with a blank face.

I picked up the sheet and looked at it quietly, and it had the bold four words "resume" instead of the entry form.

Instantly, I was stunned......

In the more than an hour from entering the door to the end, so many topics were discussed, and it turned out to be a routine. Sentence by sentence, I set out my character, my weaknesses, and the reasons why I didn't deserve to be hired......

When I wrote that table, I thought that girl was my nobleman, because she took the initiative to call me. In general, I believe more in nature.

However, the phrase "I'm sorry" gave me the feeling of being slapped in the face. I thought I was going in to join the class, but I didn't expect it to be in class. She taught me a very realistic but also very real lesson.

In that class, I deeply realized how ridiculous I was. When I filled out that form, I felt a little complacent in my heart because I filled in the reasons of going abroad and returning to China, but the reality told me that going abroad is great? I don't learn without a skill, I don't have a self-motivation, I don't grasp the opportunity, I don't have a sense of loyalty, I change jobs casually...... With all these questions, I'm not going to hire you, what's the matter?

In this regard, I picked up the watch and slowly walked out of the company, and the loss in my heart once again hit my outlook on life.

yes, I'm not really sure how long I'll be able to stay with a company without jumping ship. Because, I aspire to freelancing.

To be honest, I felt so ashamed to face that little girl who graduated from junior high school. She doesn't read much, and she's a few years younger than me, but she knows a lot, she plans for the future, and she works hard. And I seem to have wasted a lot of time, but I can't get a confident smile to resist all kinds of doubts......

That company is also a good company, it is not a casual recruitment, it really intends to cultivate people. Unfortunately, I didn't come across this company when I was looking for a second job. Fate......

The more I think about it, the more ridiculous I feel......

In this state, I can't find a job at all......

After returning to the "heart world", I lay on the bed in confusion and thought painfully, what should I do......

At noon that day, Xiaoshi asked me how I was looking for a job, and I said that I changed jobs too often and others didn't want me.

She encouraged me, come on, maybe the next one will be more suitable for me.

I smile.

I slept all afternoon and even dreamed about what I was going to do. Eventually, I continued the gamble.

I decided to shut down my computer for a few days to allow myself to completely calm down and do what I wanted to do the most in months.

It was also the last concession I made to myself, and it was a bit of a broken rhythm.

That night, I said to Xiaoshi on the buckle that I would turn off the phone for a few days and disconnect the network for a few days.

She was puzzled and wanted to know why.

I didn't want to say it, but I felt like I should trust her because I didn't want her to misunderstand that I ignored her. And to trust her performance is to tell her what is on my mind without side effects.

When she found out, the first thing she thought of was to ask me if I had told my family first, otherwise it would worry them.

She knows how to care about my family's feelings better than I do, and she did it so naturally. Perhaps, she can really teach me how to love the people around me.

I said, okay.

Then I called my aunt and expressed the same idea that I would shut down the phone for a few days. In the chat, my aunt said that her hands would tremble if she didn't hear my voice for a few days. This shows that Xiao Shi is right to ask me to tell my family about my approach of turning off the phone for a few days without worrying them.

Auntie finally agreed with me to do this, all I wanted was understanding.

Xiaoshi said that if she told her family, they would understand. Like, you told me, I'll understand what you think.

A girl with such a particularly good attitude is very suitable to marry as a wife. Very good!

Before I was about to turn off the phone that night, she sent a message: "It's going to be unrequited love again." ”

I smiled and sent two roses over, this was the first time I sent roses to her.

She also said that when I get out, she hopes that I will remember her when I get out.

I said, yes.

Because, really.

That night, I dreamed that Xiao Shi appeared in the space where my hometown room and the small study of "Heart World" were combined, and that space belonged to the moonlit night, and I, with her, um......

I dreamed of her for the first time......

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