The original intention of writing is simply to write, if too many external factors are mixed in, what is written will deteriorate, it will not be what the heart really wants to express, but will be reduced to an accessory to please external factors.

Therefore, if the original intention really just wants to express the inner world, and has nothing to do with interests and other people's eyes, then let the original intention remain the original intention a little chic.

My motto - nothing is in vain.

In order to cement the motto's place in my heart, I will constantly look for evidence to convince my heart.

The evidence comes from the books and TV series I've watched.

I may not be able to remember many details of the books I have read, but that doesn't mean that those books are in vain. Because when I read those books, I have thought that once I have thoughts, my worldview, outlook on life, and values may change subtly, thus changing my inside.

As subtle changes accumulate a lot, it's easy to distinguish how much you've changed. Like, I couldn't have thought like this ten years ago. All of this is slowly changed by thinking about it little by little.

In the same way, although I have not thought about all the TV series I have watched, all the TV series that I have watched and thought about can have a great impact on my psychology and thus penetrate into my spiritual world. For example, the love in idol dramas dominated my fantasies about love in my youth, and the hot-blooded anime or Superman that I liked to watch when I was a child dominated my understanding and yearning for world peace, light, and hope in the early days of my life.

So, I always have enough evidence to cement the place of the motto "Nothing is in vain!" in my heart.

Therefore, I have to follow my own path of writing, even if it is very dark and full of unpredictable variables.

As long as I like it, it's fine.

Write, write, stop.

Stop, write.

Write, write, stop.

Stop, write, write......

I don't know when I became like this...... Perhaps, I was originally like this, but I was just deceiving myself......

I said at the beginning that I could write as I wanted, but why couldn't I write as I wanted from the beginning? It's so weird, I actually slapped myself in the face for no reason......

I seem to have a disease, a disease that sometimes I can see myself clearly, and sometimes I can't see myself clearly.

I heard that this disease has a very beautiful name - blind.

Is it a problem with my eyes? Otherwise, how can I be blind? I have tested the function of my eyes in front of the mirror countless times, and I can see nothing but a narcissistic soul......

Perhaps, my eyes are already blinking to the verge of dying.

Then I don't use my eyes to see, I close my eyes, and I think the heart eye is the existence that I can be proud of.

Okay, I close my eyes that are about to be wasted and look at the world with my heart.

Oh, what is it?

Yo, what's that?

Oh, it's nothing, it's nothingness, a fantasy non-existence that seems to exist but doesn't exist......

It turned out that my heart was also blind......

I can't see it, what should I do?

In the past, I always heard other people's answer to "what to do" was "cold salad", well, okay, you can show me cold salad!

If you are blind, you will be blind.

It's nothing more than the sky, the unpredictable sky, the world, it's still the ever-changing world, it's just that you don't feel the same way about the world anymore.

Perhaps, only when I am blind, will I remember that I still have something unfinished, and there are many emotions, psychology, and feelings that have been suppressed in my heart and have nowhere to put them......

Obviously, I am an optimistic Sagittarius, but I live so sentimentally, why should I be so conflicted?

Who doesn't want to live happily? But, are you psychologically strong enough? Can you be strong enough to suppress the endless trials of real life? If not, open your heart to me.

People, why is it so strange?

Why did you suddenly break your trust in the things you had sworn to decide in the past? Is it nature or bad nature?

Perhaps, they all got lost suddenly......

Even if life deceives you, you still have to live, and life doesn't deceive you, after all, it doesn't know who you are at all.

What deceives you is the throbbing presence on your left chest.

People are also wonderful.

Walking and walking, derailed.

After some time, it is possible that it will suddenly get back on track.

Is it the underlying karma that is involved, or is it the power behind the unclear power?

I don't know, after all, this world that gave birth to humans is also wonderful in itself.

What am I trying to say?

I don't know, because I've been suppressed for too long, but I was suddenly released, and all kinds of emotions are competing to express myself, so as to make up for the lost piles of clips before.

Whew, collect your emotions and continue to belong to me.

At the beginning of June 2017, my psychology began to be tested by the psychological torture arranged by God......

From June 3rd to 5th, I had a conflict with Xiaoshi. The difference in personality and the dissimilarity in the three views all take time to run in. If you are not careful, the run-in is unpleasant, and there will be a spark.

However, even the way we deal with contradictions is inconsistent.

When there is a conflict, I never quarrel with her, I only keep silent, because I am afraid that once I quarrel, I will lose my mind and say hurtful things that should not be said. Words spoken are like water spilled, and they cannot be taken back. Although they will be reconciled in the future, those unpleasant words will always remain in their memories, until the next time the conflict arises, it will once again turn into a sharp weapon to hurt people, and the accumulation will seriously affect the relationship. So, I'd rather be silent than quarrel.

However, Xiaoshi didn't feel that way, she thought that my silence was snubbing her, ignoring her, and making her feel that she was just alone. She would rather I quarrel with her than if I was silent and ignore her. After all, she had heard that quarrels could also strengthen relationships.

In my heart, I never felt that quarreling could enhance feelings, it would only leave more holes in the other party's heart, and although we could still live together with a smile, the more we were hurt, and the more we argued, the deeper the hurt became. When suddenly one day the other party can no longer bear that kind of pain, then, a relationship may be declared over. Of course, too much silence can also easily become a murderer who kills a relationship.

When I'm feeling bad, I like to be alone, because being alone is what calms me down. In the "Heart World", the corner that satisfies my solitude is the bathroom. So, when we had a conflict, I would stay in the bathroom for a long time, because it was really sad......

And when she lies alone in bed, she will feel so scared, afraid of the helplessness of loneliness, which will cause emotional instability and begin to cry......

She sent me a button message and asked, "Are you going to ignore me like this?"

I replied simply, but with a heavy heart: "No." ”

After that, I got out of the bitter sea in the bathroom and walked to the bed to look at her face covered by her hair, and a lot of her hair was soaked with tears......

Looking at her like this, I feel very sorry in my heart...... Then I comforted her, brushed her hair and wiped her tears, saying that it was all my fault...... Even though I don't think it's all my fault, I'll admit it......

She's a strong Aries, and to be honest, I don't like to be strong, and the more she is on me, the more I reject it. Therefore, our contradictions will arise if we are not careful.

But when she took off her strong armor and wept weakly, I immediately surrendered. What can conquer me is never tough, but gentle. Gentleness does not refer to the so-called gentleness of Sven, but the gentleness of strength.

Contradiction is the source of the development of things.

Only when there are contradictions can our feelings be constantly tested and sublimated.

I'm always looking forward to the day when we can get along very harmoniously.

The psychological torture and test arranged by God is, perhaps, a special blessing.

So, enjoy it and grow it well.