Yuan Changwen was taken out by the doctor and walked towards his bedroom.

The location of the psychiatric hospital is somewhat remote, but it also makes the scenery appear in a pristine state, slightly cool and carrying a fresh breeze, blowing green leaves.

It's a pity that such a beautiful scenery only made Yuan Changwen refreshed, but his heart was still filled with this discomfort.

If you are a normal person, I am afraid that you will get rid of this negative emotion as soon as possible.

But Yuan Changwen is not a normal person, and since he took the first step, a line has been drawn between him and normal people.

The line is very thin, "what is real", but these five words divide the world like a moat.

Therefore, Yuan Changwen not only will not get rid of this negative emotion, but also welcome it and let it collide in his heart. But you can't make up a story with your emotions, this kind of pain and discomfort can only be understood by the person concerned.

I want to kill myself!

The "self" will always survive and want to survive. It needs to grasp certain meanings and make Yuan Changwen identify with these meanings, whether he is afraid or struggling hard, as long as there is a meaning.

Life is meaningless, that's a fact.

Because the only truth is "I exist", just that stupid background, then all the added meaning of life is just false.

Life is meaningless.

It's easy to say, and you can laugh as a talking point. But when one's career is shattered, and family, personality, kindness, morality, and so on dissipate, fear will strike.

The "self" demands life, and it uses fear to make Yuan Changwen grasp some meaning.

People have times of despair, and the former self is always looking for inspirational articles in despair, wanting to stand up and continue to struggle.

This is the education that Yuan Changwen has received since he was a child, but no one told him that this is just a means of survival for "self".

Why do you have to find some meaning for yourself?

Why can't you let yourself despair?

Of course, some people will find in despair that there is no point in working and struggling, and turn into the mountains and rivers. But it is still a meaning of life, and it is another means of "self".

It doesn't care what the point of being caught is, as long as it makes sense.

This is anti-human, no normal person would choose like this, Yuan Changwen is often trembling with fear.

At this time, as long as you grasp a certain meaning, as long as you continue to act and struggle, you can get rid of this emotion.

But Yuan Changwen knew that this method could only get rid of fear temporarily, only temporarily.

"If you go along with it, you will become an adult, and if you go against it, you will become an immortal! Haha, I see!"

Dr. Keiko: "What is this?"

Yuan Changwen said with a smile: "This is what the doctor in the Kuaifu told me before, I didn't understand it at the time, but now I have a little experience." ”

Keiko looked strange: "So, you also want to cultivate immortals?"

Yuan Changwen: "Cultivating immortals? No, it's completely different. Xian, this word, in our hearts, means chic, leisurely, unrestrained, but also benevolent.

And I, if I really want to describe it, maybe it's more appropriate to cultivate demons. There is no morality, there is no kindness, there is no responsibility, there is no right or wrong, what is this not a demon?"

But this is just a metaphor, because "demon" itself is also a definition, a sign that distinguishes oneself from others. It is essentially the same as the self-definition of diligence and bravery.

Once you agree to self-definition, you will never be able to do it!

Are you already so disgusted with your former life?

That's right, lies, it's all lies!

If the career really collapses, if the family really breaks down, if the savings are all swept away, if the ...... If there's anything that can drive you into despair, it's better to happen quickly.

Be quick and ruthless!

In despair, we will subconsciously look for some meaning to grasp, but we just don't allow any meaning to grasp. Because any meaning is a lie, it is one's own belief.

Is there any difference between believing that "hard work will be rewarded" and believing that "reciting Buddha will bless peace"?

It's all lies, it's all false!

I, Nima, have lived with these lies for more than twenty years?!

And he is reluctant to give up on these lies, and he will go crazy once he loses them?!

What is the difference between chasing these lies, these self-woven definitions, and a dog chasing its own tail in circles?

Behold, the tail is in front of him, how can it be false? Don't you have long eyes? Can't you see that the tail is right in front of you?

As long as you work hard, you can catch it!

Catch your sister!

Suddenly I remembered that everyone seemed to be saying, don't have negative emotions. But Yuan Changwen is very angry now.

Without anger at lies, without abhorrence of self-definition, how can you slash and kill?

(I just don't have negative emotions, I just like my life, I just like to pursue hard work.) ）

[Really?]

(Of course, look at the ups and downs, this is the magnificence of life, and with these dramatic elements, life seems so colorful.) ）

[Do you like it?]

(Hi-...... Like. ）

[Why are you gritting your teeth?]

(Damn!Lao Tzu hates honesty!)

Yuan Changwen suddenly laughed, because the discomfort dissipated. That's it, a mixture of uncomfortable fear and a moment of purity.

As long as you don't grasp the meaning, let fear collide and disagree, and in the end, fear will not be replenished with energy.

Nima is afraid of running out of power!

Ha ha!

I remembered that the doctor just asked how he could not care about the income from his work.

Yes, as a normal person, how can you not care!

It's a pity that I'm not a normal person, I'm crazy, so I can't care.

Work income is also a lie, and it is also the meaning that the "self" wants to grasp.

(But I won't have a job in the future?what should I do if I eat????)

[It's the future again, and I have the ability to speak at this moment.] 】

(Hmph! Idiots know that if you don't work, you don't have income, and if you don't work now, will money fall from the sky?)

[Who knows?, right, what do we know?]

(This is agnosticism!This is an excuse for laziness!This is garbage for inaction!)

[Yes, who cares?]

(Will you just sit in the yard and wait for the money to fall from the sky?)

Who knows what will happen? Maybe work, but never agree again. 】

(Haha, after all that, I still have to work!)

[Yes, it still works, maybe not.] It's still going to cost money, or it's going to pee and. After slashing self-definition, I will not ascend. 】

[Why are you so happy to hear that I still have to work?

(I...... Nope!)

[But why do you always have to worry about the future? I always can't help but think about the future, and this habit has to be changed. 】

(People, you have to think about the future, don't you?)

[Am I human?]

(Is it a pig?)

[Who knows?] Right, we are only aware that we are human beings, but that does not mean that we are human beings. Awareness that there is a wall does not mean that there is a wall, nor does it mean that the wall is real. 】

[I can't confirm the truth, I haven't said this word for a long time!I really don't know what I've been pursuing?Is there anything to pursue?]

(That pursuit of killing, it makes sense?)

[It's not about pursuing slashing, but having to kill it.] A fire burned and had to be evacuated. Who's going to go after it?]

Yuan Changwen shook his head lightly and looked at the surrounding scenery. Now that there is no uncomfortable and fearful emotion in the body, the natural relaxed mood is a good time to see the scenery.

It is also not known when the next wave of attacks will come.

There's a countdown, and that's it.

Dr. Keiko: "Okay, this is your bedroom, so I won't go in." Later, another doctor will come over and tell you a few more precautions. ”

Yuan Changwen: "You can't tell me?"

"Your roommate is afraid of women, so," said Dr. Keiko, shrugging his shoulders, "you go in first, and don't talk nonsense, lest you find no one later." ”

Fear of women?!

Yuan Changwen suddenly discovered that the mental hospital seemed to be completely different from what he imagined!