Dr. Keiko, as a female doctor, wears a white coat, and although she doesn't think she is beautiful, at least she is not ugly.

Holding a doctor in your arms will always make you think about it.

Yuan Changwen couldn't help it, suddenly had a physiological reaction, and suddenly took a step back in embarrassment.

Keiko's face was slightly red, and she changed the subject: "Fortunately, 97% of patients with male physiological reactions will not have violent tendencies. ”

Yuan Changwen nodded, and his heart was filled with joy.

It's not the pleasure of being praised, but the pleasure that comes from the depths of my heart.

Not happy, not ecstasy.

It was the moment I had just glimpsed, the result of that trance just now.

There are no spontaneous bursts of pleasure due to the influence of any external objects.

Yuan Changwen felt that even if someone hit him at this time, it would not reduce this pleasure.

This kind of pleasure from within is not very strong, like the ethereal fragrance of faint flowers.

Strictly described, it should be calm mixed with a little pleasure.

Is that what that stupid background feels like?

Or is this the state that comes after the self-definition is slashed?

Yuan Changwen smiled and shook his head, no matter what, he had already seen it, and he would never forget the glimpse he saw just now.

Completely different from the ecstasy of the unity of heaven and man, this faint pleasure seems to tell itself that it should be so.

And that glimpse of trance, a feeling that is difficult to describe, a bit like an out-of-body soul.

Yuan Changwen had a hunch that this feeling would still appear, and when it became more and more frequent, it would be the moment when his own killing ended.

Now the abrupt glimpse can be regarded as God's reward for himself.

"Good!"

Yuan Changwen admired lightly, looking at the plants around him, there was not much difference, but his heart was much lighter.

As if a burden had been lifted, his whole body floated up.

That's life!

That's what human beings should be!

The pleasure in the body continued to bubble up, but it was clearly felt that the intensity was waning.

Yuan Changwen knew that it was impossible to grasp this pleasure, and the idea of "grabbing" it would destroy it.

Since there is a first, there is a second.

Yuan Changwen also didn't have the chagrin or the urge to show off, if this kind of pleasure can only exist for a short time, then it's bullshit!

Further!

It's this word again, telling Yuan Changwen that everything is not over yet.

(The killing is a joke, I said it myself.) ）

[That's right, it's impossible to kill all "egos" at all.] As long as Yuan Changwen lives, there will inevitably be some self-definition. 】

[Moreover, Yuan Changwen will always be Yuan Changwen, I am me, and the two will never coincide. What Yuan Changwen can do is to get as close as possible to the background of that fool. 】

[At present, the most important thing is not the existence of self-definition, but Yuan Changwen's identification with self-definition. Kill these identities, then you can get rid of the pull of emotions. 】

(Yuan Changwen is these recognitions!)

[So, it's a suicide mission.] 】

(So, how can Yuan Changwen's self-definition of "all self-definition disagree" be killed?)

[It is normal to have contradictions, because self-definition itself is false, and any situation can exist. 】

[That glimpse just now, and further afield, as well as the abhorrence of falsehood, together constitute the motivation to kill.] 】

[This step has been taken, and it is impossible to stop, let alone return to the previous state. 】

Yuan Changwen sighed, not only because of these thoughts, but also because the joy in his heart gradually disappeared.

…………

Another doctor finished pooping and then began a series of detailed tests.

Yuan Changwen was subjected to a basic physical examination, followed by a set of professional psychiatric assays.

Thanks to the information sent by the court, the two doctors had no objection in the general direction.

"But I just don't understand, how can you not care about work and income?"

Yuan Changwen talked to the two doctors for a long time, and it is said that this is how to confirm the type of mental illness.

After chatting for a long time, the atmosphere becomes a little delicate.

Yuan Changwen felt a little uncomfortable and uncomfortable for some reason.

In order to continue the conversation, the doctor occasionally joked, and Yuan Changwen also felt very happy and funny, but at the same time felt very fake.

For a while, Yuan Changwen was a little dumbfounded, unwilling to continue talking, and he didn't want to mention a lot of his feelings during this time.

forced a smile, as if to cope with the doctor, as if telling others that he was a normal person.

The two doctors would sometimes talk to each other, hoping to make Yuan Changwen feel that this was not a test.

But the content of the conversation between the two doctors, Yuan Changwen always felt a little uncomfortable for some reason.

Although it was just the content of the usual casual chat, Yuan Changwen just didn't feel well.

"It's the 'ego' trying to survive, it's trying to pull me back. ”

Doctor: "What?"

Why does the master always practice in the deep mountains and old forests?

By avoiding human interaction, we can avoid more of the "self" as a means of survival.

Look at each other's "self", how perfect and beautiful. They are like peacocks opening their screens, constantly showing their best side.

"I've been busy with hotels in Singapore lately, and I'm so tired!"

"When we were in school, we all had poor grades. ”

"I'm going to lay the foundation in three years, and I can be famous in five years. ”

"What are your plans for the future?"

This can cause your "self" to feel ashamed and a little irritable.

It's possible that it grieves itself and then blames itself for what it has done. It will also make yourself scrappy and then vow to work hard.

The most terrible thing is that it will say, "I have suffered so much, what are you but the shadow of the family." ”

And Yuan Changwen understands the means of "self", so he feels uncomfortable for a while.

Escape is the best way to get out of the house and find a quiet place to be alone.

Unfortunately, in the current situation, the doctor will not let him escape.

Well, surrender.

If it's uncomfortable, then it's uncomfortable.

If you don't follow this wave of emotions to make up stories and remove time, then the "self" will not be able to absorb energy, and it will not be able to strengthen.

All emotional pulls take time, whether it is regretting the past or fearing the future, anyway, just don't look at the moment.

Because once the attention is focused on the moment, those emotions will lose the power to pull, and they can only rush alone in the body.

The favorite thing about emotional pulling is to make up stories with emotions, which is also the way the "self" is replenished.

And the identification of self-definition is the cause of storytelling.

Yuan Changwen was so uncomfortable at the moment, and the uncomfortable feeling was like rat feces, scattered all parts of his body.

Try to be that goofy background, and imagine having an observer watching you act out your life.

It's not me, but it's so uncomfortable, and my whole body is uncomfortable.

Is it just because you're sitting here and talking to the doctor for a long time?

What if you were that stupid background?

Eating melon seeds and chicken feet, he said with a smile: "Look at Yuan Changwen, I'm uncomfortable!"

Forget it, pull it down, it's uncomfortable.

Love!

If you think too much, you will fall into the trap of the devil.

Anyway, these emotions can't stay in the body for a lifetime, and there will always be a day when they dissipate.

Let me see how long this discomfort can last!

What tricks can you play!

The two doctors looked at each other and said, "Okay, that's all for today." Take the medicine first, and then measure the data. ”

Yuan Changwen: "I don't eat it." ”

Doctor: "Medicine, must be taken." ”

Yuan Changwen: "I'm not crazy, why should I take medicine?"

The doctor smiled, "Everyone who came here said they weren't crazy. ”

Yuan Changwen: "......"