Do you know what it's like to be slapped in the face?

How do you feel when you are sure that you are expecting it, but it becomes unexpected? It's like when you're with your lover, you believe that your future is full of happiness and joy, but when you come to the future, you find that you have almost forgotten what happiness and joy are like. At that time, would you have the pain of being slapped in the face?

And once something happens, it's hard to stop because it involves so much of the human heart. Unless, you don't care about anything. But if you don't care about anything, what's the difference between you and playing a game? There are some things that are never to be blasphemed by playing.

For example, do you know what love is?

When you always think that you know how to love, but one day you suddenly find that the love you understand seems to have no love connotation at all, just like saying to your lover 10,000 times I love you, and you don't know how to give your lover a loving care, you will be messy, you will doubt, and you will lose your heart.

Why am I so emotional? Because I have mixed emotions. When people have complex emotions, their thoughts will also become more complex, which may be extreme, negative, or excited. And I, on the other hand, is negative......

If I were to make a big decision under such emotions, I would think that I would be carried away by emotions, completely irrational, at the mercy of emotions, and willingly become slaves to them. Later, you will regret it! It's like when you are angry to the extreme, your IQ is zero.

So, when I have complex emotions but don't know how to vent them, words can allow me to place my lost heart in another world.

Words are magical!

Writing and writing, it is very likely that the mood will change from negative to normal, or even to positive.

At the beginning of writing, my negative emotions were very strong, but by this time, I felt so normal again, like an actor suddenly changing from a sad and frustrated performance state to a leisurely performance state.

The above is what I wrote a few months ago, and it represents my unpredictable mood......

During that time, moody.

Perhaps, there is not much joy, most of them are angry, and they are sulking in their hearts.

I like a lot, a lot, and I can hardly do it during the trough. Some are not allowed, some are not supported, and some have been diluted by life......

Therefore, my inferiority complex is not less than a ton.

Xiao Shi should have been sent by God to hone me, shatter all my beautiful fantasies, let me face the cruelty of reality, and improve my ability from it.

It's just that the process is very painful, and many times, I will be like a person with depression, full of pessimism about the world, unable to see my future at all, and not even the least expectation.

Perhaps, my soul has been polished too......

When Xiaoshi and I first met, I was under the impression that she was gentle and filial to her elders, and she always thought I was very good and supported me to do what I liked, as long as I was happy. At that time, she made me see that I was a little bit better, so I felt that she was the person I was looking forward to, and I had my current marriage.

It's just that when we enter marriage, the "world" changes......

Her gentleness reined little by little, but the strength began to seep in unexpectedly, completely reversing my first impression of her.

What she likes, I want to do it, if I don't do it, she gets angry, I like it, I want to do it, if she thinks it's not worth it, she will give her opinion, but if I don't accept her opinion, she is unhappy, she doesn't like it, I can't do it, if she does it, she gets angry, I don't like it, I don't want to do it, if she thinks it's worth doing, she will insist that I do it, if I don't do it, she will be unhappy......

In other words, my liking is subordinated to her liking.

For example, her requirements for cutting lean meat must not be cut along the grain, and it must not be too thick, nor too large slices, but smaller. Before she arrived, my family cut lean meat two fingers wide, but she felt that it was too big, and she had to cut it into about one and a half fingernails wide, and if I didn't cut it to her liking, then I would face another profound "education"......

In addition to cutting meat, there are also ways to cook vegetables, turn off the gas, etc., all of which must be subject to the way she approves, not only me, but my whole family has to let her. Because, she is the first granddaughter-in-law of my grandparents, and more importantly, she is my wife. My family loves me, and naturally they will let her go for me.

I can say with a clear conscience: "I gave all my tenderness for more than twenty years to Xiaoshi." ”

It's just that my tenderness, in her heart, may just be a cowardice......

Whenever I couldn't do what she wanted to see, she would treat me like a boss and a subordinate, and I wouldn't talk back. Because, I know, if I talk back, then the next picture will definitely be a quarrel. And quarrels will only make the situation worse. Therefore, I endured it, endured all those unhappiness and helplessness, and grievances in my heart, and turned them into silent tears.

She said she thought I was the kind of man who was very self-motivated...... Well, it turns out she misunderstood...... It's with me......

I also expressed what kind of person I am, I have already analyzed it very deeply in "The Girls I Like", she read what I wrote, doesn't she know what kind of character I am? Well, it seems that I also misunderstood...... I was with her......

Since they are already together, the misunderstanding is also a misunderstanding.

Life will not be interrupted because of misunderstandings, and what should go on will continue.

It's just that the process gets trickier.

The strength of the poem, the most direct recipient is the aunt.

Maybe it's fate, the relationship between Xiaoshi and Auntie, the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is really a war without gunpowder.

In Xiao Shi's heart, Auntie seems to be wrong no matter what she does, and what she does will cause her dissatisfaction, as if Auntie is her enemy. Auntie's lifestyle and style of doing things are completely opposite to Xiaoshi's lifestyle and style of doing things.

Well, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the biggest pain in my heart.

Both of them are women I love, and it is difficult for me to have a good result every time I try to coordinate this relationship, and it is usually my aunt who voluntarily admits that she is wrong and ends up.

I really didn't expect such a picture to appear in my marriage.

Since I was a child, I have felt that the wife I will marry in the future must be very happy, because my aunt is so kind and reasonable, and she must be very good to her.

However, the facts slapped me in the face.

I also deeply understood how sacred that sentence is: every family has a scripture that is difficult to read.

Whenever there is a problem in the relationship between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, almost all the people I persuade are Xiaoshi, because her temper comes from her. If I speak for my aunt, even if I am just very calm and reasonable, and I don't even take sides, she will still be very angry and say the words that I hate very much: "It's my fault, it's all my fault, you're all right, okay?!"

Whenever she says this, I don't know what to say, can I still talk about this?

I didn't mean it that way, but she just had to think like that. It's not what I'm most angry about, it's that she always says to me and my aunt, "You guys...... You ......"

Talking as if we weren't family, as if my aunt and I were abusing her......

Her "you" really chilled me......

Even though she was very emotional, I didn't say a word about her out loud. Perhaps, in my opinion, it is a sign of respect for her. But, in her mind, I may be like a dignified waste......

So, can my inferiority complex be no less than a ton?

I'm obviously a "talent" who can write, write songs, write poems, paint, and dance, but why do I always feel like I don't know anything?

Well, because I've never been recognized......

I've written songs for my family, but none of them have cared about the songs I wrote for them, and they didn't think I was writing songs......

As for the little poem, I wrote her to Dongdong, painted for her, wrote songs, and she also watched videos of me dancing, but there was nothing special. No appreciation, that's it. However, there was not even a word of encouragement.

When I was in my second year of junior high school, why did I like Di so much? Maybe it was because she could show me that I had my own light.

Sure enough, it's really hard to meet such a person......

Therefore, low self-esteem can only be defeated by oneself, after all, I have no choice.

If Xiaoshi's strength is too strong, my second sister will not be able to stand it, after all, who can accept that her mother is accused by her brother and daughter-in-law?

Therefore, I want to apologize to my second sister on WeChat, and say that the main reason for the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is generally me, and ask her to forgive Xiaoshi's temper. After all, she had asked for the number of life for Xiaoshi before, she was a high-profile person, and she didn't know that she was being strong, everything would only be taken for granted.

All the accusations that may come from my sisters, I also helped Xiaoshi block it, I just hope that her strength can be eased.

At my low point, I still can't avoid suffering all kinds of uncomfortable feelings.

Her strength has never gone away, at most she has been asleep for a few days. If you are not careful, it is another "war".

Slowly, I have to be careful when talking to her. Because if you accidentally say the wrong thing, you will light the "fuse".

Well, where is the feeling of happiness? I don't feel it......

At that time, the rhythm of life was that she used a computer to work, and I was responsible for studying and coaxing at the same time, and I would cook at the end of the hour.

Zuzi should be the most harmonious picture under the "war without gunpowder".

When Ziyu sleeps, he likes to raise his hands above his head, like surrendering, looking so cute!

Every month, I also take Ziyu to the community health center for vaccination.

So, there is another experience, which is the experience that a father should have.

Watching Ziyu slowly grow taller and become heavier, there will be a comfortable feeling of warmth in my heart.

Like, she's sleeping in bed and she's going to be surprised when she's standing in front of her, and she's laughing.

When Ziyu laughs because of me, I feel warm.

Renting a house in the vegetable field, because the rats are particularly rampant, they make trouble every night, and they can't be extinguished. So, we rented a one-bedroom apartment in the building of "Heart World".

After entering December 2018, I moved and rearranged my home.

I don't have a clue about the name of the new home, so let's call it "new home". It feels like it's a temporary stay, and I'll rent a house with better light and more space in the future.

moved to a new house, thinking that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be better.

However, what should happen will still happen after all.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is so serious that it is not okay for an aunt to hug her child. Because, Xiaoshi always uses the excuse that the aunt can shake the child's language, and does not give the aunt a hug. This kind of harsh reason for being harsh on my aunt will not appear in my parents.

Mom and Dad hug the child, you can hug it any way, she won't say anything nasty. But if it's an aunt, it's ......

Alas, sometimes I feel that it is really difficult to be a human being......

When I should blame Xiaoshi, I didn't accuse, because I have no confidence, the family is her raising, and the child's current food source is her, if I anger her, the child is the biggest victim.

So, I hate it so much!

I hate! Hate myself for being useless! Hate myself for being aggrieved! Hate myself for being helpless!

But no matter how much I hate, I still have to forget the hate, coax her back, and let life go on.

Although I am not happy many times, I have indeed changed a lot because of the high requirements of Xiao Shi.

Her existence is to make me transform in pain.

What the future holds, I don't know.

However, God arranged for her to be my wife, which naturally has a meaning.

Perhaps, the pain is only at the trough, and when the trough is over, everything will be fine!

Well, I'm still going to believe in my Sagittarius optimism!

Nothing is in vain!