Perhaps, this is how people grow. Pen, fun, and www.biquge.info

To paraphrase the sentence "Look at the mountain is a mountain, look at the mountain is not a mountain, look at the mountain is still a mountain" to generate a sentence in my heart at this time, "Looking at home is home, watching home is not home, watching home is still home".

Home, in the eyes of some uncertain children, is a source of love and hate.

Love is because home gives you life and the warmth of being loved.

Hatred is because the hope in one's heart is not recognized and supported by the family, but has to issue a "hope hunt and kill order", coupled with various influences such as rebellious nature and a sense of disparity that seems to have lost love, the hatred like a volcanic eruption will break through the inner earth and blindly try to burn everything.

Me, just me.

Watching a home is home. Being born in a family where my parents love me very much and there are several sisters who care about me very much is the greatest happiness of my life! Without them, I would not have existed at all, let alone my so-called luck.

Heaven made me born in this family and be the youngest one, which is a blessing I received in my last life. The love of the family was given to me, the youngest. No matter how ignorant or unhealthy I am, my family never tires of holding me in the palm of their hands. At the age of six or seven, I feel like the happiest kid in the world!

Caretakers are not homes. The changes in life are unpredictable. Because life has changed, people can easily change. Until I was nine years old, I lived in a house with aunts and uncles, and I laughed, just laughed. I'm crying, then I'm crying, and there's no complicated thoughts about hate.

Since I returned to my hometown to study at the age of nine, my life has changed, and I don't have my aunts and uncles by my side, so if I want to see each other, I have to wait until the summer and winter vacations of the year. My heart, my happiness, my little sadness, I can't communicate with my uncle and aunt. At that time, I felt that the perfect world in my heart had begun to crumble. Parting is a very cruel and terrifying thing for a child who lives with his parents by his side for a few years.

My uncle and aunt were not around, my sister had to work and get married, and the partings one after another made me full of anxiety about the future when I was a child. It feels as if the world has deceived me and given me a good time, but it has to tear it apart. However, that is the idea of a child, who does not understand the reality of society, but is forced to accept such a reality. So, in the process of reading and growing up, children really, slowly, learned reality......

Seeing uncles and aunts twice a year, the sisters also have to see if they have time to see each other rarely, so the number of times a family reunion picture can appear is really pitiful. As I grew up and my family expressed the "brainwashing" words of my husband's blood without tears in my fragile heart when I was a child, I was finally able to stop my "heart" from being anxious. In a child's heart, every time he misses his family, every night when he falls asleep with tears because of his "anxiety", and every morning when he has to go to school with a sour nose because he dreams about his family but is woken up and finds that it is just a dream, these are called by his family as the fragility that a man's husband should be. Although my family couldn't see it clearly, I was really just a fragile child at that time, and in that fragility, there was a beautiful dream that I had loved for several years and believed that it would not be broken...... However, reality is still reality after all.

As I enter adolescence, my thoughts begin to become more and more complex. However, the only person I can communicate with is myself. Because the mind at that age began to become a little different, I found that even if I said something, I couldn't get the response I wanted. So, disappointed, silent, lonely, I got used to it......

As adolescence deepens, rebellious personalities begin to emerge. When there is a conflict with the views of the family, there will be a verbal conflict, although it is not the kind of terrible and intense, but the appearance of this conflict also proves that the beauty of the feeling of love when I was a child is gone. Perhaps, it is hidden in the depths of the heart, or perhaps, it is eaten away by the reality of society. So, when I laugh, it doesn't have to be a laugh. When I cry, it doesn't have to be crying. The normal emotion of laughing and crying has degenerated into a perverted emotion, and there is no distinction between crying and laughing.

After coming out to work in society, people have become much more indifferent, talking less to their families and smiling less. In addition to the reality of society and the "historical" factors that I felt in the process of growing up, there is also the fact that my ideas are not recognized by my family. My family always wanted to point me out the most realistic and reliable path in society, thinking that my thoughts were just a joke, just laugh and forget about it. Life is realistic.

When I was a child, I was very emotional, so true, so simple, so fragile, so I couldn't survive. And now I am very rational, and even rational is not terrible as a human being. So cold, so ruthless, so temper is in a state of an active volcano erupting at any time.

I know very well that my family guides me in the future out of a kind of love for me, if it was the "anxious" me when I was a child, he would definitely be happy to listen to his family, because he really loves his family, and he will do whatever his family tells him to do. However, his family doesn't like him, so what if he is obedient? What can a person who can shed tears and be afraid of bleeding do? Also, apart from loving his family, he doesn't know what he wants, he has no dreams, only his family. So, here I am.

I know what I want, even if I can't get it right away, but I need to give it a start. However, my family didn't believe me and thought I was on a path of no return. Well, too, anyway, in the eyes of my family, I am vulnerable, unreliable, and a child who will get lost without guidance. Perhaps, I really am......

When I grew up, my aunt often said to me, "I've always believed in you!"

However, last year, I had a rare trip with my aunt to a place with my childhood memories, and on the way back, I had to choose to take the bus. Bus stops are usually one on each side of the road, and the end is reversed. When I took my aunt to the bus stop where I could go back, she kept asking, "Is it really sitting back here? What if I take it in the opposite direction?"

I looked at the bus stop several times to confirm that it was really possible to go back, so I said to my aunt seriously: "Don't worry, I'm sitting here." I've seen it, and I'm not wrong. ”

She didn't say anything either.

When the bus stopped in front of us, I put my right hand on my aunt's shoulder and was about to get on the bus, but my aunt suddenly stopped, and then cautiously asked the bus driver at the door if the bus was going to the stop we were going to.

At that moment, my heart instantly went cold. Looking at her side face, my hand on her right shoulder trembled slightly......

Am I really that untrustworthy when I'm grown up? Even if it's just a bus ride......

After receiving an affirmative answer from the bus driver, she was relieved to get on the bus. I know that Auntie is just having a little more heart just in case.

The more than an hour on the return trip seemed to me more like a dark and long century.

After that, every time my aunt said believe me, I smiled slightly. Perhaps, it was the warm sunshine, and although I could feel it, I couldn't grasp it and put it in my heart to illuminate the darkness that I didn't want......

So when my rebellious personality hasn't faded completely, and I can't get the approval of my family when I don't have the same thoughts in my heart, I will become very cold. It's cold, like a white-eyed wolf. Feeling, how could such a loving family raise such a cold-blooded thing?

Rome was not built in a day.

Cold, not frozen out of a day.

In the cold blood, there are hidden pictures that used to be so warm, but, who has really cared for them with their hearts? I have always felt that it is warm and cute in my heart, but one day it was simply and easily cut by the "sharp knife" with the taste of ridicule......

What beauty, what love, seems to disappear in the face of a joke.

In the hearts of people who have warm love in their hearts, there are some jokes that can be brought lightly. But in the hearts of people whose hearts are already so cold that they are about to freeze, there are jokes that can destroy his heart and even change his personality.

At that time, cold people only had cold feelings. Home, not only can't give warmth, but also makes you even colder. So, looking at home is not home......

Watching home or home. Why do so many people choose the so-called struggle when they can be better with their families, and only later that some family members can no longer be by their side forever begin to cry and regret it? Because, after all, home is still home. This is a fact that will never change.

The growth of people needs to go through such a process, ignorance and innocence, sophistication and complexity, and clear vision.

When you are ignorant and innocent, what you see is the simplest understanding, without the slightest complexity.

When the world is sophisticated, all you see is a complex existence, even though it is really just a very simple thing. The reality and complexity of society are really easy to get lost and confuse people.

When I saw through the clear, the complex existence I saw changed back to the simple things I saw when I was ignorant and innocent, and it turned out that it was really so simple.

The vast majority of people who are working hard in society are in this stage of sophistication and complexity, so they are pursuing something that they do not have but want to have. Maybe you won't be able to have it for the rest of your life, maybe you will have it, but you regret it because you have lost something more important. It's like, after realizing the loss of the beginning.

So, I'm well aware that the cold I feel at home is only temporary (I've been turning off my phone for a few days and just want to be quiet), and if I let it go on and on, I'll definitely regret it for the rest of my life. It's just that I need a little time, after all, I'm so old that for the first time I really know what I want. Perhaps, in the hearts of my family, I am willful. However, I really hope that my family can give me this opportunity to be willful, as if I had trusted me to take care of myself when I went abroad last year.

I'm still going to be obedient, but I just want to think about whether I want to eat meat or bones when I go home......

Watching a home will still be a home, I believe. Although I am uncertain and think too much from time to time, I am really nothing if I don't have a home.

Sometimes think seriously about which is more important, dream or home.

The dream has not been realized, at least there is a family that accompanies and supports him.

But without a home, who will you show your dreams and share them with?

Therefore, the best state is when you work hard to chase your dreams and your family is always there to support you!

A dream without the support of family is like a flower without nutrition, even if it blooms, it will not have brilliant beauty and refreshing floral fragrance.

Dreams have to be chased, but home also has to be loved.

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