It's been more than half a year, and I went to the "March Wind" again, sitting in the position I used to sit in, looking at the night sky, as if I had never been out of the country......

"March Wind" is a place where people can relax and have fun like a square. Pen "Fun" Pavilion www.biquge.info

However, different is different.

Now I am not in Xidesheng, and what accompanies me is "little perfection", not "shining".

However, there is still one feeling that is the same, and that is to be lost in loneliness.

In the past, when I looked at the planes flying in the night sky in the "March wind", I would think to myself, what is it like to fly in an airplane?

Now, looking at the planes flying in the night sky in the "March Wind", I will smile faintly in my heart, and then I will think, when can I take a plane to see the world with a free and unrestrained heart?

As for the future, I am always guessing, and I can't see a clear direction, but I know that I have a sense of direction in my heart. I knew I was going there, but why didn't I believe I could go there?

I'm not confused because I'm confused, but because I have low self-esteem. I have low self-esteem, I feel like I'm worthless, I can't do anything well, and I give up halfway every time. And every time you start over after giving up halfway, it is a kind of questioning of your own ability.

It takes courage to start over, and that's a good saying.

Before I went abroad, I struggled. Should I continue to stay in Xidesheng, or go abroad and start again? Staying in Xidesheng, maybe I will be different in all aspects, but my vision will always stay in the same place. And going abroad to start over, although I can see a lot, but it may not be suitable for my development, and I may give up halfway.

Eventually, I chose to take the plunge and start over. Finally, I fell under the spell of giving up halfway.

Now I have to face the choice of starting over, and I feel really tired......

My motto is that nothing is in vain. Although I have given up many times, I have also grown. Giving up halfway is for my work, and growing is for my body and mind.

I really want to find a job that is very close to my dream, because then I will have 100% enthusiasm, however, sometimes the dream job in my heart is the same as love, and I can't get it until fate arrives.

Fate is not a negative waiting, it is a positive waiting. Actively improve yourself, you are excellent, it belongs to you, and it will naturally belong to you.

My low self-esteem comes from the fact that I am not positive enough, and my inner negative energy is a little full......

However, as an optimistic Sagittarius, they will not be defeated by negative energy. At most, it would be nice to vent once in a while......

I'm just complaining, I can actually support myself in any job, but the more I think about it, the more messy my mind becomes. The more messy the mind, the more complex its magnetic field will be. The more complex the magnetic field, the more likely it is that anything bad will be attracted to you.

So, sometimes, if the heart is simpler, you may be able to live a little happier. After all, some things are objective and cannot be controlled by human beings.

It's different, it's different.

I'm almost twenty-four years old this year......

Time goes on.

I should have slept, but my eyes were insomnia......

It was 1:47 a.m. Beijing time, which was relatively late. If I were still in Phnom Penh, it would only be 0:47, which is still early. Maybe it's because I'm used to the one-hour time difference for most of the year, or maybe the problem of staying up late hasn't gotten better.

Anyway, I was just tidying up in the middle of the night......

It was early in the morning, so I must have described the night before.

The night before, I felt a little lost, like a little "sadness" hanging in the cloudy night sky. There is no reason, it is inexplicable.

It's been a long time since I've tried to go to a convenience store at night to buy snacks, and the figure of a person complains about loneliness on an empty road, no one knows, only God knows, the earth knows, and the street lights know......

Walk into the convenience store that I still know and look for my favorite chocolate when I was a child. It was found that there were only two small packets left. Well, it's better than nothing.

When I passed the refrigerator, my eyes seemed to be attracted by a kind of blue, and when I turned my head, I saw the Blue Rose Whiskey Cocktail (pre-mixed) that I had once in 2015 when I was in a bad mood. The taste is good, there is almost no degree, but it is a little expensive. Thinking about it, I still took a bottle.

After paying the bill, after walking out of the convenience store, there was a lonely figure on the road again......

At that time, I began to wonder, why did I rent a room on the seventh floor? The last time I went upstairs, I had to use up my physical strength by eating five pieces of pork! I had only been taking a shower for an hour, and I was sweating again......

Don't be confused, because there is only the seventh floor left to rent.

Perhaps, it is really problematic for me to ask myself such a question.

When I got back to my new little world, I opened the bottle of wine, sat down in front of the computer, and took a selfie to express my feelings. It is a disease, but it does not require medication.

I took a sip and was worried. Take another sip and hurt. At that time, the wine, like the tears of an angel, fell into my heart......

Suddenly, I felt some discomfort in the back of my neck, and it was itchy.

I put down the wine in my hand and touched it with my hand, and it turned out to be a worm! It felt a bit like the shell of a seven-star ladybug, and it began to crawl down, which naturally made me nervously want to get it out.

But just as I was about to get it out in one go, my elbow accidentally hit the wine in front of me, and the wine was half poured out in an instant. This is not the point, the point is the direction in which the wine is poured.

Well, for the first time, for the first time since I bought my first laptop in my life!wine, poured on the computer keyboard......

My pupils dilated instantly! Oh my God! But I didn't forget to get the bug out! I found out that it was a bug! I slammed it to the ground! Then, I immediately pressed shut down! I took a paper towel to suck the wine off the surface of the computer.

Perhaps, it's still a little late. Because I saw that wine had seeped through the cracks of the keys......

My laptop was very important to me at the time! If it breaks, all the more than 60 dances I did and all the PPTs I did in college will be gone, and that's just the tip of the iceberg......

At that moment, my mood changed from a faint sadness to a thick anger!

I retrieved the bug on the ground, wrapped it in a tissue, gently placed it on the ground, and finally, jumped up and kicked it down!

The whole world was silent......

There is still the stench of bed bugs left on the clothes, and I am lazy, I still have to take another shower.

Is it deliberate? Is it deliberate?

Everything happens for a reason and a significance. So, this time, what's the point?

Is it that I'm too dependent on people and things? Too dependent on people, I can't adapt to loneliness. If I rely too much on things, I can't be wholehearted, and it's easy to lose sight of one or the other.

Some answers can only be found in memories.

But, be careful, too.

Well, it's like when I went to see "That Year and Today" in the space that day, I kept pulling down, and I kept pulling down, and after I got to a certain position, there was no content. One sentence stops there, though.

That sentence is, let's see it here today, there are too many memories, it's sad.

Whew, well, since the memories can't go back too deeply, and the future is still the future, then we can only accept this situation.

Perhaps, God just wanted me to understand something, and did not really want to destroy my spiritual world.

Sometimes, only by learning to accept can you see through.

It was 3:03 a.m. Beijing time, and even if I wanted to play insomnia, my eyes didn't want to......

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