What the hell am I doing?

Have you taken the first step?

Yuan Changwen sat on the grass, watching the tourists around him laughing and playing, or the two arguing with each other, or a large group of friends calling friends.

Alas......

Honesty, such a simple word, I have never done it.

It's still dishonest after all!

Yuan Changwen is now very sure that he has not taken the first step at all.

So many chapters of slashing, all of them are bluffing themselves, all of them are spinning in circles in place to create the illusion of striding forward.

Character, how powerful are you that I am always in the illusion of reality?!

I was worried, but I never dared to admit it, "What if I kill this path, is it wrong? Will I not be able to finish this road at all? Even if I finish this road, will I get nothing?"

It's hilarious to think about, the character is worried about whether his efforts will be fruitless, and at the moment he has made "killing self-definition" another goal to strive for, like a money career or something.

That's why the same worries and anxieties arise.

Will I work hard for so long and still have no money? Will I struggle for so many years and my career is still at a low point?

Here's it, that is, I've killed so many chapters, will I still get nothing?

On the other hand, if the kill is successful, the result is that you will lose your character. At this time, there is no longer even a role, and who will cheer their success?

I've been pretending to be slashing, and I've been pretending to be very angry in order to achieve the anger that the teacher said, and I've been pretending to be against the character's self-definition.

And the character is also very cooperative with me, constantly learning one move at a time. Because the character is very laid-back, on the surface I am killing the character, but in fact I don't touch the core of the character at all.

Of course, the character is willing to cooperate with me in this play non-stop, so that it is not a real killing, the character will not die, and I am also very happy to show that I am superior to others and walk on the road of killing.

Woe!

I was actually toyed with like this!

The point is, after being honest, I found that I didn't have much anger. Even if you know that you are being played by the character, you still can't rise to anger.

Putting aside the time of pretending to kill, I will still fantasize about what kind of revenge victory, what kind of glorious return I have, what abrupt women appear to be convinced by me, and there are some inexplicable cool points.

I didn't resist!

It's like drug addiction, and I just found out today that that character exists like a drug addiction.

Even if you know that drug use is not good, you can't resist the cool point after drug use.

The character is a drug addiction, the biggest and strongest drug addiction in the world. Even though I knew that the character was fake, I still didn't have the determination to let go.

Hold on to self-definition in your hands, then pretend you don't grasp anything, and show that you seem to have no way out.

Profound and unfathomable.

Bah!

Even so, he still can't raise his anger towards the character.

It is clear that I am "selfless", and it is clear that all self-definition is false. And any view of things is a distortion of the world.

Whether it's positive, optimistic, uplifting, negative, pessimistic, or evil, these perceptions are all noise.

It is used to cover up the reality of "selflessness".

Once this is touched, the character will disguise it with strong emotions.

With a self-definition, "I'm a very hard worker", you can't say "you just look hard" and the other person will explode.

For "I am a very filial person," you can't say, "Your filial piety is just looking filial", and the other person will use a lot of emotions to make you feel as if you are standing in the ranks of anti-humanity.

If someone like me tells me that I'm not slashing, but I'm just playing a game with a character, I'll agree and resist that.

Because, this is the self-definition that the character grasps, and this "a person who firmly believes that he is on the path of killing" is part of the character. To be denied by others means that the character is deprived of a part, and of course the character will rise up and resist.

Now, when I see this, I know I'm not killing, I'm not moving forward.

All of this is nothing more than a fantasy for self-amusement.

It's a pity that I still haven't taken the first step and is not determined to get out of the role.

It's like a rich person who keeps saying that he doesn't care about money, but he doesn't throw it away.

It's ridiculous, I'm still pretending that I don't know how to move forward, and I'm still pretending that I've reached the position of "seeing the Buddha and killing the Buddha". In fact, I TM didn't start at all!

I'm dead? No, just pretending I'm dead.

Is there any difference between me now and me in the Empire?

No, there is no difference. What about just theoretically knowing yourself as just a character?

Hands grasp self-definition, grasp falsehood, and then casually: "These are all false, so what?"

If you don't hate falsehood, what reason do you have to throw it away?

If you can get rid of the role just by knowing the falsehood, then there are countless people in this world who have already got rid of the role.

Sure enough, no matter how much you overestimate the role, it's not an overestimate.

Is it possible to be "wanted" to get rid of the role?

The only thing that can think is the character, that is, the character himself wants to get rid of himself?

Haha, if there is no hatred for falsehood, why should the characters themselves get rid of themselves?

I don't know, and I'm not going to pretend to know.

Anyway, I haven't gotten out of the role now, I haven't taken the first step, and I don't have a hatred for falsehood.

Is this the end of it?

Let the characters manipulate my life? Let my self-definition distort my world? Let those people and things be arrogant in my head?

Alas, I would love to follow the example of the main character, who shouted angrily, "No!" and then the anger exploded, and the character was instantly shattered, so I got rid of the character and was free.

Unfortunately, I'm not angry, I'm just a little irritable.

It's so noisy in my head, it's all noise.

Those beautiful plans for the future, those cool fantasies, and those fears for the future, those so-called inspirational words, are all buzzing in my head.

What!

I can't even control my own brain, what success can I talk about?

I don't even know who I am, what are I still fighting for?

Can you stop, don't make a noise in my head!

Yuan Changwen closed his eyes, wanting to seize control of the brain, but found that there was no way at all. Even if you forcibly suppress your thinking, you just don't think so loudly.

It's noisy, it's really noisy.

Where did you get so many opinions and opinions? Why do you think about something cool, and then make up the plot by yourself?

Tired or not!

There's so much more to think about, what is there to think about?

What exactly does the character want to distort the world into before he is willing to give up?

I really don't understand, perpetual motion machine? Or do you rest when you go to bed every day, and come out when you wake up?

Stop making noise, be quiet.