Yuan Changwen was lying on the ground, and gradually felt the coldness of the concrete floor.

Push yourself up and move from lying on your side to sitting.

This is a good sign, indicating that the fear is slowly weakening, and where can I feel other things when the fear is in full swing just now.

All of them, all of them are surrounded by fear, and there is nothing but fear.

Yuan Changwen gasped slightly, the fear did not leave, and he could feel that he was still uncomfortable and uneasy in his heart.

Or else, suicide?

At least if you die, you won't be suffering this pain.

Yuan Changwen laughed at himself, he knew that he wouldn't do this, because he hadn't killed his self-definition yet, how could he admit defeat like this?

But then again, this fighting spirit itself needs to be killed, right?

Otherwise, with the self-woven definition, "I am a person who kills self-definition, I will not admit defeat, I will never give up", and I will not fall into the devil's lie again!

So, there is only surrender.

(Bullshit surrender!) It's just forcing yourself to focus only on the present, forcing yourself not to think about the future.) ）

[Yes, maybe other people feel this way.] But what does it have to do with me?]

[I've been wondering why things haven't changed at all, even though I've found the only truth? 】

[What is the use of knowing only with words? The mind is still imagining the future, still making choices in fear, and his actions are all showing, and he does not recognize the only truth at all. 】

[To surrender is to manifest this only truth in thought and deed.] Obviously, the career money is fake, why do you continue to identify with it, and the pain is still after the killing, and there is another wave of fear from time to time?]

[It's because I didn't surrender, I didn't give up my life, and I still want to control myself. But if you think about it carefully, who is in control? Yuan Changwen is in control, and the sum of more than 20 years of life experience and knowledge is in control. 】

(Yes, isn't the reason why people are human because of these experiences, experiences, information and knowledge?)

[But this is not true, the only truth is "I exist."] Moreover, those self-definitions can be replaced, I can be a white-collar worker or a homeless person. What's so important about this kind of thing that can be replaced?]

(At least I can be clear that if I work hard, I may not be rich, but I have lived up to the time, and at least I know what the future holds.) ）

I know that my future is to get married, have children, buy a house, pay off the mortgage, work, work again, take care of children, educate children, wait for children to go to college, I am still working, then retire, and finally die. 】

Not to mention whether there will be accidents in life, isn't it terrifying just that this kind of life is almost planned?]

(At least better than the unknown!)

[Living in quiet despair, facing the fear of the unknown, who knows whether the future is good or bad?]

Yuan Changwen sat by the wall, looking at the sky, and at this angle, through the window, he could only see the sky.

The sky wasn't blue, and the coolness of the morning hadn't completely passed, and there was a bit of gloom mixed in.

Is it good-looking?

It's not pretty.

Yuan Changwen discovered early on that he seemed to have lost his appreciation of nature.

When you go to a place with beautiful scenery, you can often feel the shock for the first few moments, and then you will never see it again.

The "so beautiful" in my mouth is just to deal with the people around me and keep myself from going against the tune.

But do you really think it's beautiful?

Except for the first few moments, the rest is a lie. There are also those beautiful landscape photos, more of which I hope someone will like it, and some people will sigh "Wow, you are so amazing, it is so beautiful there, I want to go too" and so on.

Whenever someone replies, he will smile and show off, "It's really beautiful, you must come if you have the opportunity, and your body and soul are on the way" and so on.

But sometimes, even in the face of praise from others, I don't feel any joy or how beautiful the scenery is.

Who do you talk to about this kind of thing? Will others think that they are pretending?

Ouch, I've been to a lot of places, so I can't see the beauty of a small place?

It seems that everyone talks about beauty, so I want to talk about beauty too. Once it is not coordinated, then it will be scolded for not knowing how to appreciate.

Nyima is funny!

That's how you come here, that's how you care about other people's eyes?

How many things did you do against your will in order to be gregarious?

But then again, if you do too many things against your will, you don't feel against your will, but it feels normal. If other young people do something different, they will be on the side of the old forces.

Cut!

Yuan Changwen looked at the gray sky, real, what an expensive word.

If it weren't for this truth, I might be playing mahjong with my colleagues or playing with my buddies. I will also laugh in the beautiful scenery, show off to others that this is my own journey, and I am a person who understands landscapes.

Bah!

Yuan Changwen, you are so disgusting!

It is undoubtedly foolish to use someone else's word to bind oneself. Is it good to use one's own way to bind others?

Yuan Changwen looked up at the gray dark clouds, and inexplicably thought of the dead Lao Zhang, maybe you have returned to the Xiuzhen world, right?

Really, I woke up, but I didn't tell me. Having said something meaningless, why do we all know the same thing, but are treated completely differently?

Ha!

Is this what surrender really means?

Because nothing is real, surrender to the only truth, "I exist."

Because time does not exist, surrender to the only time, the moment.

(But...... ）

[There is no but. 】

(Fart!What happens then?A wooden man without joy and sorrow?ruthless?)

[It doesn't matter, I'm just going to let go and surrender at the moment. All worries and troubles are thrown to the "Tao". It's controlling my ship of life anyway, and even if something bad happens, I don't want to correct it. 】

[Tired ......]

(What if I die? What if I beg for a mouth?)

Then let this happen. 】

(Not afraid?) I don't believe it.) ）

[Well, I'm a little scared. However, this just shows that he is not surrendered enough. 】

(Are you crazy??!Even if you are a monk, you have to eat fasting and recite Buddha, how can you completely surrender and do nothing!)

[If I wasn't crazy, how could I be in a mental hospital?]

Yuan Changwen was secretly amused, he had just begun to surrender, and he was looking forward to a different result, what kind of surrender is this?

Let go of all hope.

Perhaps, this is called surrender. If I surrender, God will have to give me something, isn't it a deal?

Don't be in a hurry.

Yuan Changwen suddenly remembered Lao Zhang's words, was he reminding himself not to be anxious? Or was it that the emotion of being anxious would destroy the awakening?

(How do you determine if it's awakening? What if all this is just your own delusion?)

[I don't know. 】

(That's a!)

[Awakening is just a title, no different from cultivation. Hah! I see! Title, yes, that's the title. It can also be said to be labels, boundaries, whatever you want to describe it. 】

[It is this thing that blocks my surrender and my integration with this moment. For example, the one I have my back to, we call it a wall. But what it is, no one can say. 】

（hat？！）

[It's the case with everything, tables, lights, windows, etc., everything is a label and a human name.] But what they are, no one knows. 】

[We always glance, oh, it's the window, and then it's gone. What is left after we take away the windows, take away any words that are trying to describe?]

[Obviously, windows don't become something else because we take away the word "window.] Nor will there be any change because of the change in the words we use. 】

[So, what is that that hasn't changed?]

(It's the window.) ）

[No, this is surrender.] Surrender to the way "things should have been", like the window, and when I've emptied all the written descriptions of it, what remains is what it "should have been". 】

"Haha!