It's rare to have him by your side, and this night is actually a good night.

I'm very smart not to ask Gongsun when he came yesterday, and how could he come here so coincidentally, now I'm only glad that I don't have the habit of talking in my sleep, I'm really scared, it's just that my face is not good, and I shiver when I sleep.

If I let him know that I am still thinking about Fu Ji again, it will be my own death.

People with careful eyes are the most taboo about stimulation, and I know it very well.

Seriously, I'm not very old, but I've already looked down on men and women-love-things, and I have lost my initial ambition and confidence, not to mention, it's difficult to live happily alone, and I might as well plan more for myself with this idle time, at least the glory and wealth are in front of the eyes, and the feelings are all fake, just go to the harem to catch a woman and ask, how much affection does I have for the emperor, can I have half of Fu Ji, the answer is definitely no.

I didn't go to bed until it was dark last night, and I had to get up just after dawn today, and I was really tired of eating imperial food in the last court.

I watched the maid and the maid change the clothes of Gongsun Di, and their hands were as light as anything, and there was no sound at all. The rules of the Hou Mansion seem to be very strict, a few little girls are the same age, it is difficult to say that there is no one who is not tempted to see the glory and wealth of the Hou Mansion, it may be that Shu Yao has a way to rule, and he who dares to recommend himself to the pillow may have just flown out, and he will be sold the next day.

I still fell on the bed and refused to get up, my eyes stared at the golden oyster tent on the head, that appearance was not very reassuring, but provoked Gongsun Di to come over and ask again, asking me if I was better, get up quickly when I was better, otherwise I would be dizzy after lying down for a long time, even if my appetite was not good, I would remember to get up for breakfast and so on later.

Look at him, his status is so high, and he is so careful.

The better he was to me, the more difficult it was for me to deal with it.

"It's much better" I smiled: "Thank you Lord Hou for your concern, it's just a nightmare, I can't believe the dream, I can really be scared?"

Gongsun Di didn't seem to like to listen to me talk to him so politely and respectfully, and he made a little noise, at least he looked like his own person, but the court couldn't delay, and he didn't care, and rubbed my cheek with the back of his hand to show his intimacy, and said gently: "You have a good rest." "Then it was passed on to the generation to enter the palace.

Almost the moment after Gongsun Di left, my smiling face was completely paralyzed after he left, I couldn't hang any expression, and I didn't feel sleepy, I just opened my eyes in a daze, not in a daze, I was thinking about my next plan.

Forcing the palace is a difficult job, and the time and place are the same, which can explain why Gongsun Di had to call himself sick to the outside world, and went out of the city overnight to find me, and it worked at any time to retreat as advance, that is, I was too innocent, and I became his pawn for no reason, and now Gongsun Jiaao must know that Gongsun Jia didn't even care about the appointment of the political secretary for me, and went out of Beijing with his relatives, just for a woman.

This weakness is also too obvious.

I think there must be a reason why Gongsun Di didn't let me go out of the Hou Mansion for a single step, maybe I was worried that I would be taken away when I went out, and then I was tortured, tortured, and finally I couldn't ask anything, my head fell to the ground, even if I asked something, I still had to be killed.

It's really miserable to get along with people like Gongsun Di.

I hated him at that time in Guanghan Palace, and even hated him, Gongsun Di's ambition and anti-backbone have been known to everyone, he thinks Gongsun Jiaao doesn't know, people just because of their brothers, give him opportunities again and again, and don't want to really kill him.

I know that Gongsun Jiaao and Empress Dowager Wu used to be a little unclear, maybe their childhood experience was a little worse than Fu Ji's, so he was feminine (it is okay to say that it was vicious), and often used knives to kill people, checks and balances left and right, and from the moment I met Gongsun Jiaao at night, I never doubted it again.

In fact, he has long known everything, but because he is his own brother, he is reluctant to start.

I sometimes complain to myself, how can I be so smart at every critical time, stupid and pitiful on weekdays, Gongsun Di may like me, just like I like him, but our purpose is not pure, I just take him as the shadow of Fu Ji, and unconsciously compare him with my first man, he is just taking advantage of it, liking me to be different from other women.

Time is really a very peculiar thing, I like Fu Sen, like his straightforward temper, to now I hate him, I hate him for stepping on our Lu family step by step to become famous, which is only a few short years, has changed as a person, and there are two more girls from the He family around me, and in the future, there may be more and more women like Gongsun Jiaao, it is not worth it to put the friendship of youth on people who have changed, Chang Yun must understand this truth better than me.

But she doesn't complain, she doesn't feel sad, she just does what she has to do.

To this day, I don't even dare to think about it.

A stain is a stain, even if most women can't help themselves, it's still a stain.

After the matter is completed, what will Fu Sen do with the people of our Lu family?

But although he said it strongly, I still heard a little sour.

As soon as the thought came to me, it scared me so much that I almost retched with soreness.

Delusion, this must be an illusion.

What does he like about me, it's just that he looked at each other at the Qianqiu banquet, and the glass hall was coquettish and stupid at Fu Ji at that time, and he just happened to let him see it.

In the final analysis, it is still people's inferior nature, no matter how good their own family is, it is not as good as others.

Pampering is true, and Mingyan is also true, but all the gorgeous brocade clothes, gold beads and hostas, all rely on countless invisible layers of gold and silver to weave, without these, the concubine is just an ordinary person, when she is down, she has to look at the eyes of others to live, maybe she has to worry about whether she can eat hot dishes and hot meals in Guanghan Palace.

This is the bloody reality.............

Obviously I don't want to live by others, but I always refuse to take a step, just one step, obviously I can leave, in fact, I can go after Bao, or go back to Beijing, and continue to stay by Changyun's side, it's not impossible, but it's a pity that I have been obedient to Fu Ji for so many years, and I have become inert, my gas is not big enough, and my temper is not good enough, but I know what men are thinking in their hearts, and I am willing to spend time to learn and study, and there are only these simple and vulgar things.

Now I'm just a sender, and I can't even call a distinguished guest, but I have brocade clothes and jade food, and I'm also a person who has 'deep friendship' with Chehou, but I don't come from the right way, and my reputation is not right, except for the brocade clothes and jade food that can be given to me, he can't give more else.

Including freedom.

Shu Yao is very attentive there, from time to time to send someone to ask me about the situation here, she is really hard, her yard is in the west, and mine is far away, in order to please her man, she has to soften her body to take care of her rival, I have never done such a thing, so Shu Yao is also this ability, you can temporarily reverse the water, in the Qianshou Palace Yin me, give me Qi Kaiji, but really arrived at the Hou Mansion, the wood has become a boat, she doesn't even have the courage to be ruthless, obviously in charge of the back house compound, it is easy to poison me, but she has dragged it until now, even the temptation is pretending to be a child to tempt, which is despised。

Think about it from another perspective, in fact, the back house is much more comfortable than the harem, there are fewer women, and the means are not very sufficient.

The only fly in the ointment is that Changyun is not doing well, but I am detained in the Hou Mansion and I can't reach out.

Also, the conflict between me and Gongsun Di has risen, and we quarreled at both ends for almost three days.

It's a real knife and a real gun, not just a mouthful.

I'm angry, angry that he locked me up in the Hou Mansion and didn't allow me to go out, and he didn't spare people, and he was going to mention Fu Ji to me at every turn, and he was naïve to death, if I was angry and couldn't argue with him, he snorted coldly, and asked me if I was still thinking about Hui Qiu You and a white bone companion, if I didn't turn my face and ignore him, he would be even more energetic, and he would have to remember the old things at the Qianqiu banquet, and repeat the old tune over and over again until I got angry.

I think all men in the world are neurotic.

Fu Ji is alive he wants to rob, Fu Ji is dead, he still refuses to let go, anyway, I don't really matter at all, what he enjoys is the process of competition, as well as the results of the final acceptance.

Jealousy? No, that must be an illusion.

It's all an illusion, it must be.

In fact, Gongsun Di's suspicions are right, what he said is right, I really don't want to stay in the Hou Mansion as a vassal in my heart, but because of his high-minded and arrogant tone, I almost couldn't help but quarrel with him.

Just now we began to argue again, and when I saw that I could not pry anything out of his mouth, my face immediately changed, and my flattering smile turned into disdain, which was really hateful.

Gongsun Di is very tight, what is the situation with Changyun, what is the direction of the wind in the palace, he didn't tell me anything.

It's good, cutting me off from the outside world just to prevent someone from ventilating the news, isn't it?

No matter how much I asked, Gongsun Di was just burying his head in what he was drawing on the bookcase, and he didn't raise his head to look at me at all.

I was angry for a long time, I was still unwilling to give in, and finally Gongsun Di finished painting, so he put down his pen and looked at me, his face was waveless and traceless, obviously more rational than me.

But seeing that he took a long breath, his tone softened three points first: "The stakes are very high, and you will understand in the future, it should be yours, and it will be yours after all." ”

He motioned for me to come over and admire the masterpiece he had painted for half an hour, and I wondered why this man was still so busy painting here when he was doing such a dangerous thing.

When I got closer, there was a little fox on the paper, with a slightly upturned tail, bared teeth, and eyes looking into the distance, looking like a great enemy, but with a neck and refused to bow its head.

It's the same as me.