Cutscenes—the confusion and lies that exist in the girl's heart

I'm used to being alone to the first rays of the morning sun. It has been two years since I got my father's permission to move out of the house and live in this apartment alone, which is enough to make people become familiar with the unfamiliar environment, and their living habits have changed. It seems that a long time ago, I have become fond of being alone.

Whether it's too much interpersonal relationships, social connections, or family, if I can't respond, I try to avoid these things as much as possible, and respond when necessary, and never fit in specifically with or pander to other people — as it should be, and I've survived like that to this day.

I have never doubted my way of life, whether it is right or wrong, because it is a very stupid thing, everyone has a different way of living, and no one in this world can define an absolute, correct way of life for others. So, the only one who can change himself is himself - it should be like this.

But—

[Whew....]

Sitting on the bed, he sighed, shook his head, shook off the fleeting images in his head, opened the shutters, changed his pajamas into long-sleeved T-shirts and cropped pants, and sat down in front of the full-length mirror next to the bed to take care of his outfits. Since I didn't have to go to school today, I didn't need to put on makeup, so I just straightened my hair and walked out of the bedroom.

The date on the calendar hanging on the side wall of the living room was Sunday, and once again, it was the day when I didn't have to go to school.

It should have been the news that you could relax immediately - if you didn't have to go to school, you wouldn't have encountered those troubles, right?

But inadvertently, my hand was already gently on my chest, trying to block back the uneasiness that spread from the bottom of my heart.

Why... Will you be uneasy?

It's because the question of longing for answers has always been entrenched in my mind.

What is he doing? Judging by the time, he must still be sleeping... But what about when you get up? studying, going out, or spending time at home? or... With my sister, I was forced to do all kinds of things I didn't want to... And maybe with a look of extreme reluctance.

I wonder what he's doing - something like that... There is such an unacceptable idea.

[Hah... Stupid guys.. Myself]

After sighing to himself, he shook his head gently and sat down on the sofa, looking at the clock hanging on the wall without a word.

Although the minutes and seconds passed, it seemed to have no effect on my state of mind at this moment, as if it was still in that moment—but I should be the only one who was still.

Paying too much attention to something—or someone's stupid behavior, even if you know it clearly and keep reminding you of it...

[Hah... Why do I have to sigh early in the morning..]

He frowned, pressed his hand lightly against his temple, the exhaustion that was hovering in his head was not relieved in the slightest, and then glanced at the phone on the coffee table.

If there is a solution to all this immediately, it can only be to ask me directly. But..

Is it appropriate to call so early?And, for what reason? And what should I say?

A few more questions come to mind...

.....

After sitting on the couch for a while, I simply gave up all my thinking... No matter what you think, it's that guy's fault, right?!Suddenly dating my sister or something..

Why.. Does it have to be my sister? Other..

Thinking of this, the irritability suddenly skyrocketed, and then tried to get out of my body, and by the time I came back to my senses, the phone was already in my hand.

I simply dialed the phone directly, and then quietly waited for a response.

Just ask him what he's doing now... Just ask, and then it's over.. So I thought so in my heart.

After four or five "beeps" on the other end of the phone, there was a response.

[.... Hey..]

As expected, it was completely lifeless... A lazy voice came from the phone.

[Oh? Are you still alive?If it's because of my phone call that brought you back to life, allow me to apologize for that.]

No, no, what I wanted to say was, "Haven't you gotten up yet, and I'll apologize if I make a noise with you"... It was supposed to be like this, but why did the words come to the lips like this again?

[Ahh I'm sorry, I don't want to die yet... Anyway, you're calling at this time now... Is there something wrong?]

There was some noise coming from the microphone, probably the sound of turning over in bed or twisting the body, after all, it was only half past six, and on Sunday, most people should still be in bed at this time. It's normal to be asked this kind of question directly... After all, it's a bit strange to call at this time in time, if it's okay...

However, if my sister called, would it seem so strange?

was frightened by the sudden flash of the picture in his mind, and unconsciously spit out the sound of "hmm, hum", followed by a question on the phone

[Hmm?what?]

[No, no, nothing..]

After a brief silence, after regrouping his state, he asked with some hesitation

[You today.] Any reservations?]

[Scheduled to be..]

A slightly unexpected voice came from the other end, and then it was inexplicably infuriating

[Do you not understand what you need to do or have to do?, or do you understand and degrade to the point where you have to re-read from the first grade of elementary school?]

The tone unconsciously became a little harsh... I don't want to do it... Can't help it..

[I'm sorry, but I'm a liberal arts student in Chinese third, so I'm still confident in the literal sense of the word.] ]

At this point, he paused slightly, and then resumed after a few seconds

[I want to stay in bed all day... However, there is a reservation to go to the bookstore at noon.. Help Komachi buy a few reference materials. ]

[Ah, that's just together.]

[Eh, are you going to the bookstore too..]

[How? no?]

[No.. If you want to say that it is personal freedom not to go... Anyway, you haven't told me what the hell...]

[At one o'clock in the afternoon, meet at the entrance to the right side of the square, that's all.]

Without any hesitation, I cut off the phone directly.

Because.. I lied.

Because, I am afraid of the moment when this clumsy lie is exposed.

Because, I already know what to do next, and the answers I crave.

...

Need.. It's just a matter of getting dressed up again.

When I returned to my bedroom and saw myself in the mirror, I had this thought.

(Sorry for stopping for more than a month.) Went on a tour... ）