When he got home, Lin Yanhuan said to Lin Yansheng: "I'll put these two thermos cups away, don't hold them all the time, this wool is about to be finely grinded." Lin Yansheng glanced at the two cups in his arms, and handed them to him, before that, she must have lost her temper and refused to let go, but now that she thinks about it, she can't help but feel a little funny. She stood in the doorway, as if she had been here for the first time, and slowly looked around before stepping inside. As she sat on the couch, she remembered the days she had talked with her parents on the couch, the words she had said, and the jokes she had played. The faces of her parents came to life, and the fond memories played out one after another in her mind. After sitting for a while, she got up and walked towards her parents' bedroom, and when she stood in the doorway, she couldn't help but be a little afraid, but in the end, she overcame that fear and reached out and pushed the door open. My parents' bedroom was furnished as before, and even the book on the bedside that I hadn't had time to receive was the same. She walked in slowly, and saw that the clothes of her parents were neatly arranged in the closet, there was not a trace of dust on them, and the lamps and books on the bedside table, the mother's dresser, the combs on the dresser, and the sheets and bedding on the bed were all very neat, and they did not look like they had not lived in a few months. She knew that Lin Yanhuan had cleaned it up, and he got up every day to make breakfast for her and clean up the whole house before leaving for the company. It was just the little things that he had unintentionally put away, and he had never put them away, and it looked as if his father had been leaning against the bedside the night before reading the book, and his mother had been sitting at the dresser this morning with the comb to comb her hair. Looking at all this, Lin Yansheng smiled slightly, even if it was delusional, she was willing to believe that these delusions were true. She touched the old comb, which had been with her mother for decades, and eventually, it lost its owner.

Lin Yansheng exited the bedroom and closed the door, she didn't want to disturb her parents who lived in her imagination anymore. She turned and went into the study, which was also clean and neat, and there was a small desk next to her father's desk, which was placed there when she was a child to supervise her homework.

Lin Yanchang sighed, after a few months, she finally accepted all this, and finally walked into these two places that she didn't dare to approach. Now that I think about it, there is nothing to be afraid of, the world is impermanent, life and death are fate, isn't this what her father told her since she was a child? Her parents have always lived a thorough life, and they have the same views on life and death, and they have not been afraid of death because they want to live. Who in this world doesn't die? Who doesn't end up losing someone close to them? If you become negative and misanthropic because of what is doomed, then the real gain outweighs the loss. What's more, when her father said to her, he also hoped that her view of the world would become clear, and when they left this world in the future, she and her brother would not be so sad that they could not live. This is what her parents expected of her, and she has finally lived up to their expectations of her today.

She exited the study, closed the solid wooden door, and closed the entrance to her heart that was sinking into pain.

For the first time tonight, she dreamed of her parents. A few months apart, their faces did not change, but became younger, as when she was five or six years old, she watched them both sit by the window and read. Against the sun, they can only faintly see their silhouettes, but they are very beautiful. Lin Yansheng stood at the other end of the living room and stared at them blankly, the flowers on the balcony were in full bloom, and a butterfly was flying up and down between them. She stood like that until her mother put down her book and stood up and walked towards her, she saw her mother bent down and said to her with a smile, "Yan Sheng, do you want to go to the amusement park?"

Going to the amusement park is a luxury enjoyment, and Lin Yansheng happily agreed. So her father and mother took one of her hands and walked towards the amusement park. The people around gradually became more and more crowded, and it was almost difficult to walk. Lin Yansheng's little hands were squeezed out of their palms, and soon, his parents disappeared into the crowd. She felt flustered, frightened, and couldn't help but wipe her eyes and cry. Suddenly, the crowd became sparse, and through the figures of people in twos and threes, she saw her parents sitting at a bar, each holding an ice cream in their hands, and eating happily. Lin Yansheng couldn't help but feel angry, the child was lost, they were still in the mood to eat ice cream! She walked towards them angrily and scolded them loudly, but the parents laughed happily and didn't say anything. When she was angry, her mother bent down and handed her the ice cream in her hand, and said softly, "Be good, don't be angry, eat delicious." ”

She was about to reach out and take the ice cream, but suddenly the ice cream turned into a sugar gourd. She grabbed it in her hand and bit it happily. Next to her, her father grabbed her by the sleeve to keep her from running away, while her mother looked at the two people sitting on the stage, smiling and immersed in the soft muttering lyrics. The two, the man holding the three strings and the woman holding the lute, were singing: "...... Meet him in the garden quickly, and meet him in front of the church...... You miss him day and night, hate him all the time, don't meet and blame him...... You will never find him again...... A thousand hard work and a thousand joys, like a thousand miles of business has arrived home...... It is like a duckweed on the surface of the water that bears a melon, a thousand are anxious and a thousand are happy, like a kite with a broken string and a place to take it...... Just a stone's throw away is home...... I don't understand him without asking the roots...... When I finally listened, I understood him...... He...... He...... He ......"

In the dream, she was too young to understand the lyrics, and could only smell the lingering "he-he-he" in her ears. She bit a sugar-coated hawthorn, turned her head and asked her father, "Dad, what is he?" As soon as the words fell, she saw that her father was about to answer her, but he was pulled away from this warm and ordinary world by a force. She watched her parents leave her, and she couldn't utter a word with the hawthorn in her mouth. Suddenly, she fell to the ground, feeling pain all over her body, and the pain seemed to fall apart, and she couldn't stand up. She turned her head to look at the scene around her, only to find herself in class, the teacher was standing in front of the podium to give a lecture, and her classmates were keeping their heads down and recording something in their books. Next to her, Mu Yi bit the tip of his pen and smiled happily at her, his eyes bent into a waning moon, which seemed to complement the hazy light in front of him. The teacher's lecture became louder and louder, as if countless people had rang countless bells, and her eardrums were shaken by the sound, and finally opened her eyes and woke up from her dream.

On the bedside table, her alarm clock was ringing.

Lin Yansheng half-propped herself up, staring at the quilt blankly, her mind was still echoing the melody of the commentary she heard in her dream, and she couldn't wake up at all for a while. The pillow behind her was soaked with tears, faintly revealing the original fabric texture of the pillow under the pillowcase.

The scenes she dreamed of were familiar, and she closed her eyes for a long time before she gradually remembered them. At that time, Lin Yanhuan was two years old, and her parents ignored her in order to take care of her younger brother, so they entrusted her younger brother to a neighbor and took her to the amusement park at the age of four and a half. She remembers that experience very well, there were a lot of people in the amusement park, and somehow, she was separated from her parents. When Lin Shengming and Shen Jingyou found her in the crowded crowd, the three of them were all in a panic and hurry. Lin Yansheng still clearly remembers the expressions on his parents' faces, what a anxious expression it was, it seems that when the sky falls, they will not be more afraid and afraid than this. When she saw her, her mother took herself into her arms, put her chin on her shoulder, and began to cry with a whimper. That was the first time Lin Yansheng saw his mother crying, and as soon as her mother cried, she cried with her, and almost instantly forgot the moment when she got lost with her parents, and she was still complaining that her parents didn't care about her. In fact, since her brother was born, she has begun to complain in her heart, it seems that the attention of her parents was immediately attracted by the little baby who couldn't speak, and was exhausted by his toss, even if she took the first place in the class in the exam, and won the first place in the class in running, they would not feel very happy to see it, and the next second, as soon as the baby cried, they immediately stood up to take care of the baby. At that time, Lin Yansheng often thought about why his parents had a younger brother, if the younger brother was not born, they would still love themselves as before, and would not turn a blind eye to themselves like now. Such thoughts accumulated in her little heart, and gradually became heavier and heavier, and she even began to hate why her parents gave birth to her, why they got married, and why they were together. Maybe if she hadn't given birth to herself, she wouldn't have suffered these grievances, watching her love that belonged to her be taken away by her brother, and it was just a helpless little baby. Before that amusement park incident, whenever she saw her parents and brother together, her parents together, even two people holding hands on the street, and other people's weddings, she felt so hated that she wanted to run up to them and say, "Don't hold hands! Don't have children! Children will be sad!" But all this melted away the moment the amusement park mother fell on her shoulder and wept, and her heart was as peaceful as a windless lake, as if those resentments had never appeared. Mom and Dad still loved her, they gave her their own tears, but never to her brother, she felt proud to have the love and tears of her parents, and this pride gradually washed away her disgust for her brother.

At that time, it was the first time she realized that she was so dependent on her parents, and her parents loved her so much, and this incident gave her an infinite sense of security and motivation for life, which fermented in her small body and gradually formed a mature thinking system. She thought to herself that she was not very willing to agree to Mu Yi's marriage proposal, and maybe this experience also played a role, because she was afraid that she would treat her children like her parents, after all, she understood how uncomfortable it was. She always lacked courage because she was not sure that she would love her children unreservedly like her parents.

As for the dream of eating sugar gourd and listening to the commentary, Lin Yansheng couldn't help frowning, and suddenly felt very sad in his heart. When she was six or seven years old, she and her younger brother were often taken by their parents to listen to the commentary, she liked those soft tunes, even if she couldn't understand them, but as long as she sat on a small chair, sat next to her parents, and watched them smile at each other, the little key made a soft background sound, she felt very warm and comfortable in her heart. It seemed that the warm sunlight filled the entire space, even illuminating every dark corner. Now that she thinks about it, she still remembers the scene from her childhood, as if all she saw was a patch of sunlight without a dark corner. This is the best and calmest memory she remembers, and when she was a teenager, she didn't feel that way when she followed her parents to listen to it. Thinking of this, Lin Yansheng grabbed the clothes on his chest, sighed, and tried to exhale the uncomfortable feeling of suffocation in his chest. She missed them so much, in this moment, very, very much.

Even after accepting the fact that her parents had died, she still regretted from time to time that if she hadn't let them travel, maybe all this would not have been the way it is now. These impulses of regret made her feel self-reproachful, and her heart was cut into a thousand holes, and she still did not let go.

Through the curtains, Lin Yansheng saw the hazy skylight slipping in through the window, like a naughty child, making a fuss to make her wake up quickly. She stared blankly at the window for a moment before getting out of bed, putting on her shoes, and going into the bathroom to wash. She heard a noise in her brother's room, and immediately, the door was opened, Lin Yanhuan stood at the door with a sleepy face, and was startled when he saw her suddenly.

"You got up so early?" Lin Yanhuan asked in surprise. These days, Lin Yansheng can't sleep at night, so he always squints for a while in the early hours of the morning and doesn't get up until eight or nine o'clock. He was used to her routine, and he was suddenly a little surprised to see it.

"Well, it's still early, why don't you sleep a little longer? I'll make breakfast when I'm done. Lin Yansheng arrived, she took a closer look at her brother's face, and found that he had been so haggard and thin these days. She couldn't help but feel guilty, she not only owed her parents, but now she also owed her younger brother, how much did she have to make up for the pain and discomfort that her nonsense brought to Lin Yanhuan.

"You rest, I'll just do it. Lin Yanhuan hurriedly said, still unaccustomed to her transformation, "Anyway, I'm already up." ”

Lin Yansheng hesitated, looked up at him, and said, "Yan Huan, you have worked hard these days. ”

Lin Yanhuan was stunned, looked at her, and didn't speak.

"Mu Yi said to me, I only care about my own feelings, but I didn't think about your feelings, I'm sorry. I was supposed to bear all this with you, but I hid like a coward and left you alone-"

"Sister. Lin Yanhuan suddenly interrupted her words, he was a little moved, and said slowly, "We are a family, don't say such kind words." Besides, I'm a man, and it's only right to protect you. ”

"Yan Huan. At some point, her eyes moistened, "I'll cheer myself up, I won't be like it was before." She took two steps forward, patted him on the shoulder, and said, "You also have to be strong, we will treat you when you are sick, or you can treat me as your 'garbage can', if there is something uncomfortable in your heart, feel uncomfortable, you can say to your sister, don't hold it in your heart alone." I'm just a relative to you now, and I don't want to lose anything. ”

Lin Yanhuan saw Lin Yansheng trying so hard to show his heart to himself, and an urge to cry suddenly surged in his heart, and he clenched his fists and endured it for a long time, but he still couldn't hold back, tears flowed down his cheeks, and the tears were like the scars engraved on his heart day by day. Lin Yansheng wiped the tears from his face with his hands, even though his throat was choked, he still said with a smile: "Cry if you want to, there is nothing you can't cry in front of me, my sister won't laugh at you." ”

Lin Yanhuan pursed his lips tightly, looked at her aggrievedly, and cried whimpering on her shoulder like a child.

The two siblings stood in the first rays of the morning sunlight that shone into the room, like the most beautiful silhouette in the distance. If you can still maintain your original intention and be full of hope for the world after suffering and suffering, no matter how embarrassing the situation is at this time, it will always be the most beautiful scenery in the world. Because they are the hope of this world, and their pure heart is the hope of a better life.