Through the glass windows of the bedroom, you can see that the sky outside is gray. There was no wind, and the treetops did not move, but soon it swayed slightly, and the air currents that came from nowhere swept through the turquoise foliage, driving them to sway. Immediately afterward, a thin line of rain fell from the air, connecting the distance, forming a gray fog realm. Lin Yansheng sat on the bed, staring blankly at the rain scene in front of him, holding the two thermos cups tightly in his arms, his eyes were dull and his expression was empty. She seemed to be thinking about something, but she wasn't thinking about anything, letting her thoughts fly out of the glass window and soar through the vast world. Suddenly, something sounded in her head, breaking the distraction that seemed to have been produced by inertia, and her heart tingled, and her thoughts were pulled back from the window. She couldn't help but shrink her body, revealing a mournful expression, as if she was begging for forgiveness from something in front of her.

But there was nothing in front of her, only the white wall and glass windows. The rain outside tended to get heavier, and a cold wind blew in, making her shiver. Lin Yansheng stood up, slowly walked to the window, and closed the window. In a trance, she remembered a scene, when they were just teenagers, Mu Yi often came to her house to eat, and one rainy day, she stood by the window like this, and Mu Yi sat at the desk behind her to do her homework. Those math problems were like books in the sky to him, and he couldn't understand them, so he asked himself for help, but she thought he was stupid and too lazy to talk about the problems, so he had to ask Lin Yanhuan for help. What a simple person he looks, his mind is all on the surface, even if he doesn't say it explicitly, she sees it all in her eyes and laughs in her heart. At that time, she had no guilt, and innocence was like this rain between heaven and earth, and her short time with him and intimate contact could make her a sweet night. But I don't know when her heart changed, and she began to have edges and frames. While constructing these frameworks, she discarded her mother's words of education for herself, and picked out the elements that she identified with and felt right from those words, so as to construct her own character. Her character is strong, she refuses to admit defeat, and her self-esteem is too obvious, she gives herself the illusion that as long as her heart is there, everything outside her body can be discarded, and she is not afraid of such consequences. But such consequences still occurred, and she gave up Mu Yi for the sake of her poor self-esteem and high heart. I thought that everything was over like this, but she still walked with her delusion, feeling that there was no wrong step and no problems. But when she just heard the conversation between Mu Yi and Lin Yanhuan, there seemed to be a fork in the road, and the fork was full of thorns and spikes, and she couldn't help but walk towards the fork, letting those thorns and spikes scrape her whole body with blood. How uncomfortable. She thought to herself, she couldn't help but grab the clothes on her chest, why did she feel so uncomfortable when she heard that he was with other girls? She hadn't seen it with her own eyes, nor had she received any definite message that he had a new beloved, but at the slightest sign of it, she felt like she was about to suffocate. She sneered and sneered, scolding herself for how she could have such emotions, and suddenly, she remembered a sentence she remembered when she was young, love can turn a person's heart into a sweet piece of sugar, and it can also turn it into a hell burning with the fire of jealousy. She deeply felt that her heart was now a hell burning with jealousy, and she had to open her heart and force herself to admit that she was jealous of that girl. That's why she felt so uncomfortable, so painful.

Imagine, the person who loved you and loved you infinitely and tolerated you in the past, suddenly the object is replaced by another person who has nothing to do with it, who will feel comfortable?

After being uncomfortable for a long time, Lin Yansheng couldn't help but feel ridiculous. Obviously, she let go first, and she was the one who indirectly pushed Mu Yi away from herself. If Mu Yi really finds the next happiness that belongs to him, she should also bless him. She owes him so much in this relationship, and he hasn't done anything wrong.

Lin Yansheng returned to the bedside, sat down again, and raised his hand to wipe away the tears on his face. She hadn't shed tears for a long time, her heart had already become numb, and she didn't know who had taken away those smart thoughts and vitality. She was now in a state of corpse abandonment, looking as if she was waiting to die. How long has it been since she had been exposed to her favorite profession, painting, With the same fate, she had never stepped into her parents' bedroom. She didn't know why she did it, but she instinctively felt that as soon as she walked in, there would be some terrible scenes and images, and she didn't want to face those images, they made her feel terrified. So, her range of activities has always been in the living room and her bedroom, and occasionally helps Lin Yanhuan clean up his room. She lived like a walking corpse, and only showed a trace of vitality in front of Lin Yanhuan, which was to ask when his parents would come back. She felt that she would only come back to life if they came back.

But today, her heart ached, and she seemed to have broken free from the shackles of numbness. She looked at the pouring rain outside, and then at the two thermos cups in her arms, her brows furrowed, as if she was struggling desperately.

She felt uneasy and frightened, and hurriedly took her mobile phone from the dresser and wanted to call Lin Yanhuan. She wanted to see him whenever she was scared. As long as he saw his brother by his side, the fear was not so urgent. The screen of the mobile phone in her hand was still torn apart, she didn't have the energy to fix it, she dialed the phone, waited for a long time, and no one answered. She couldn't help but feel even more frightened, stood up, and circled the room over and over again.

About an hour later, Lin Yanhuan replied to her call, saying that he was busy, his phone was turned to silent, and he didn't hear her call. Lin Yansheng was almost tormented by that sense of fear and collapsed, she shouted into her mobile phone: "You are talking nonsense! You just don't want to answer my phone at all! You are tired of me, you are going to leave me, right? This home is no longer home! You still don't think I am your sister!"

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a while, and then Lin Yanhuan said in a deep voice: "Got it, I'll go back now." ”

Lin Yansheng looked at the rain curtain outside the window in a daze, listened to the beeping sound in his ears, and felt that for a moment the whole person seemed to float into the air. She felt that something was wrong, everything around her was wrong, but she didn't want to face it and think about what was wrong.

She waited until Lin Yanhuan came back. He was silent and did not speak, his eyes full of sadness. Regarding Lin Yansheng's vexatious remarks, he just accepted it silently, and then threw away the breakfast she hadn't eaten in the morning and remade lunch for her. He also had to rush to the company to deal with the work, and he couldn't stay with her for too long. But Lin Yansheng's emotions were very intense today, grabbing his arm and not letting him go.

"I'm going back to the office and there's a lot of work to be done. You eat first, then take a nap, and I'll be back when I wake up. Lin Yanhuan snapped her fingers, looking a little embarrassed.

"No, don't go, I'm afraid. Lin Yansheng looked at him with tears in her eyes, all her armor did not exist in front of her younger brother, and she would only show her vulnerable side in front of him.

"So, I asked Mu Yi to come over and accompany you?" Lin Yanhuan asked tentatively. When Lin Yansheng heard Mu Yi's name, he hurriedly shook his head and said, "Forget it, he already has his own life, how can I allow myself to disturb him." ”

Mu Yi wouldn't think so. Lin Yanhuan said, he finally broke her fingers, took out his mobile phone from his pocket, and prepared to call Mu Yi.

"Don't fight!" Lin Yansheng shouted, "Forget it, don't accompany me, you can go." ”

Lin Yanhuan frowned and looked at his sister who seemed to be a child, he sighed, put away his mobile phone, and asked, "Is it really okay for you to stay alone?"

Lin Yansheng shook his head, pursed his lips, and showed a stubborn expression on his face.

"Okay, remember to eat, take a nap after eating, I'll be back soon. Lin Yanhuan said, turned around and walked outside. Lin Yansheng looked out the window in a daze, and only then did he move his gaze back to the door when he heard the sound of the door closing.

Suddenly, she clenched her fists and had a pained look on her face. The voice shouted in her heart again, telling her everything about reality. She roared in her heart, scolding the voice, it was all false, it was all trying to fool her. The parents didn't have a car accident and didn't pass away, they were just too playful and haven't come back yet. I don't know how long I struggled, but the voice finally faded down, and Lin Yansheng collapsed on the bed exhausted, covered in a thin layer of sweat.

Her eyes were half-open, in a trance, and she felt like she was about to fall asleep. Suddenly, there was a slight sound of the door opening, and someone walked in, but she didn't seem to hear it, still looking at the ceiling, spreading her limbs, and it looked like she had really fallen asleep.

Mu Yi stood at the door, glanced at her, and was relieved to see that she was asleep. He gently closed the bedroom door and crept over to the dining table, frowning when he saw that the food on the table had not been touched. It was a problem for her to continue like this, but he was at a loss, and there was no good way to deal with it. She rejected him so much, she didn't want to see him, what could he do? Lin Yanhuan was so busy every day, and he had to take care of Lin Yansheng, Mu Yi knew that he was actually very tired in his heart, otherwise he wouldn't show that side to himself. Mu Yi sat down on the chair, his face sad, and he thought hard about what to do. He was in a trance, and he didn't notice that Lin Yansheng had already stood at the door, looking at his back in surprise. At that moment, her heart hurt again, but she immediately controlled her emotions, did not let the discomfort destroy her composure, and walked slowly towards him.

"Did Yan Huan call you?"

As soon as the words came out, Mu Yi jumped up from his chair in fright. He turned to look at her, a little at a loss, and forced a smile: "Yes." ”

Lin Yansheng sat down at the dining table, picked up the chopsticks and prepared to eat, the food was a little cold, she didn't care, and slowly sent the food to her mouth.

"Are you alright?" Mu Yi asked cautiously as he sat down. Her face was very bad, as if she had a serious illness, and this serious illness was still tormenting her, and she had not yet recovered.

"It's good. Lin Yansheng showed his usual indifferent look on his face, but at this time, it seemed a little bleak and embarrassed.

Mu Yi lowered his head, clasped the corner of the table with one hand, and he hesitated for a long time before he whispered: "I know that the death of Uncle Lin and Aunt Shen has dealt you a big blow - but you also have to cheer up, eat well, sleep well, and make yourself better, so that they will not feel uncomfortable watching you from the sky." He looked at her earnestly, "If you feel really uncomfortable, don't hold it alone, you can say it to me or to Yan Huan, as long as you say it, your heart will feel a lot better." ”

Lin Yansheng's movements froze in mid-air, she stared blankly at the rice bowl in front of her, and said nothing.

Mu Yi let out a long sigh and said, "Actually, who would have thought that this kind of thing would happen? Yan Sheng, you have always been strong, I know it, I believe that you can also be strong this time." You can be strong, can you? You don't go on to be decadent, you have to paint your pictures and live your life well. If you really don't want to see me, then I'll disappear from your life, as long as you're happy and peaceful. He looked at Lin Yansheng's face, and saw that Lin Yansheng didn't react, so he continued, "Yan Huan is also very tired during this time, and if something like this happens, you have to support each other." I talked to Yan Huan at noon, he didn't want to tell you, but I think you need to know. He looked at Uncle Lin and Aunt Shen—" Speaking of this, Mu Yi paused, "Actually, he has a lot of trauma in his heart about this, but you also know Yan Huan's character, holding it in his heart and not saying anything." If I hadn't forced him, he wouldn't have told me what was on his mind. He's gone to see a psychiatrist, you know? He's moderately depressed right now, he can't sleep every night, and if he goes on like this, he's going to have a breakdown. Mu Yi was a little anxious, and couldn't help but reach out and grab Lin Yansheng's arm, but Lin Yansheng just listened dumbly, without any reaction at all, "As a sister, you should cheer up, do you have to wait until you lose Yan Huan to wake up after losing Uncle Lin and Aunt Shen?"

This last sentence seemed to be a hammer slammed into Lin Yansheng's heart, her eyes widened, and she turned her head to look at Mu Yi. The voice rang in her heart again, and gradually, it became her own voice, until her whole mind was filled with the words that Mu Yi had just said to her. "Depression?, losing Yan Huan?" she muttered, watching Mu Yi nod to herself, lowering her gaze in a panic, reaching out and holding Mu Yi's hand tightly, as if trying to grab something to stabilize herself. Mu Yi's hand was clenched by her, but she gritted her teeth and endured it, and then said: "I know that you have always refused to accept the facts, but it has happened, and many months have passed, and you have to recover and return to reality." Uncle Lin and Aunt Shen don't want to see you like this, after they died, you haven't looked at them yet, if they knew, how sad they would be. He stared at her face and said in an accentuated tone, "Yan Sheng, they won't come back, they have gone to another world, Yan Huan has been lying to you all along, it's all because he is coaxing you, he resisted everything for you, but he can't hold it anymore." He needs you, Yan Sheng, your brother needs you as an older sister!"

Lin Yansheng fell on the table and whimpered and cried. She let go of Mu Yi's hand, and her whole person seemed to be drained of strength in an instant. Mu Yi couldn't bear it, but he could only do this, he couldn't watch his beloved sink in pain like this, and he didn't want to watch his brother who grew up together endure so much alone. When he said this, it was as if he had stripped off a piece of his skin, how could he not feel pain? It was when he took a knife and stabbed Lin Yansheng in the heart! But at this time, seeing her crying, he was relieved in his heart, it was always good to release his emotions, maybe she would feel a lot better if she cried.

I don't know how long she cried, her voice gradually became hoarse, and tears wet her two sleeves, damp. Mu Yi sat next to her, silent, he knew that now was not the time for him to speak, he had to wait until she figured it out in her own heart and cried all the negative emotions. Finally, Lin Yansheng gradually stopped crying, she was still lying on the table, her shoulders trembling. It took another ten minutes before she straightened up, covered her face with her two hands, and seemed to let out a long sigh of collapse. Mu Yi handed her the tissue in his hand and said softly, "Wipe your tears." ”

Lin Yansheng took the tissue and wiped his entire face. Her eyes were swollen like peaches, her nose was red, and she looked terribly embarrassed. She frowned and said in a hoarse voice, "Thank you." ”

Mu Yi shook his head and looked at her worriedly.

"I'll think about it. Lin Yansheng continued, she endured the pain, and tried to swallow the choking that surged to her throat again, "You go back first, I want to be alone for a while." ”

Mu Yi was relieved to leave, but he knew Lin Yansheng's temperament, and if he refused directly, it might make her collapse, so he had to stand up and say, "That's it, I'll stay in Yan Huan's room, if you don't call me, I won't come out." If you feel uncomfortable, you can come to me, so that I can rest assured, otherwise I won't be able to explain to Yan Huan later. ”

Lin Yansheng didn't say a word, he took it as her acquiescence, got up and entered Lin Yanhuan's room, and closed the door. He looked back at the small room, which was very little furnished, very simplely furnished, and looked so clean that it did not look like a boy's room, but rather the room of a hermit with a pure heart and few desires. Mu Yi remembered that his house was always a mess, his clothes and pants were thrown around, and even his toys were scattered in the east and west, if Aunt He hadn't helped him clean up once a day, he didn't know how messy it would be. He sighed and sat down in his chair, thinking back to the boy who had always been cold in his memory. In the place where Mu Yi couldn't see, Lin Yanhuan endured a lot alone, he was like his room, it looked simple on the surface, but it took a lot of effort to hide those messy and necessary daily necessities in a place where he couldn't see them.

Mu Yi listened to the movement in the living room outside, but couldn't hear anything. He didn't know what Lin Yansheng was doing, did he return to the room, or did he cry again? He couldn't help but be a little worried, but remembering the look she had just shown to him, he retreated timidly. He felt sick when her resentful gaze glanced at him, and she complained that he had told the truth and brought her awake from her illusions. Mu Yi couldn't sit still any longer, he stood up and walked around the room, and when he turned to the thirty-seventh circle, he heard footsteps outside, hurriedly opened the door, and looked out through the crack in the door.

I saw Lin Yanhuan pushing open the door and walking in.

"Yan Huan. Mu Yi walked out and saw that Lin Yansheng was missing from the living room, and said to Lin Yanhuan with a bitter face, "I seem to have done something wrong." ”

Lin Yanhuan squinted at him slightly and asked, "What's wrong?"

Mu Yi told Lin Yanhuan what he had said to Lin Yansheng before. Lin Yanhuan immediately frowned after hearing this, and his expression looked a little annoyed. Mu Yi was originally waiting for his reproach, but he didn't say anything, just waved his hand and sat down on the sofa.

"Where's she?" Lin Yanhuan asked again, looking a little tired.

"I don't know. Mu Yi said, "Yan Sheng annoyed me, so I entered your room and closed the door." She should be in her room now. ”

Lin Yanhuan looked at Mu Yi helplessly, but he was not angry, and said, "Let you look at my sister, not let you hide in my room." He stood up, glanced at Mu Yi, and said, "Okay, you go back first, I'll take care of it." ”

"I'd better stay. You two siblings, you have to be watched. ”

"When I was a child. Lin Yanhuan curled the corners of his mouth and smiled. During these days, he rarely smiled, and when he saw this smile, Mu Yi seemed to see the sun rising in the west. Although it was a bit hasty to break Lin Yansheng's illusion rashly, maybe it would cause her some harm, but Lin Yanhuan was finally relieved that he finally didn't have to act and lie in front of her.

He walked to the door of Lin Yansheng's room, raised his hand and knocked on the door, but when no one answered, he stretched out his hand and pushed the door open. I saw that the room was empty, and the bedding on the bed was spread out neatly, but there was no one in sight.

"Huh?" Lin Yanhuan showed a surprised expression, and he turned his head to look at Mu Yi inquiringly. Mu Yi leaned up and looked inside, looked at him in a panic with wide open eyes, and shook his head.

"What do you want!" Lin Yanhuan scolded him, and hurriedly took out his mobile phone to call Lin Yansheng. But soon, he heard a jingle from the room, and she didn't have her phone with her.

"Where did she go?" Mu Yi said incredulously, "I didn't hear anything, is it in the bathroom?"

Lin Yanhuan stood motionless at the door of the room, in a daze at the mobile phone in his hand. Suddenly, he looked up and said, "I know where she went." ”

"Where did you go?" Mu Yi hurriedly asked, he didn't have enough brains at once, and he couldn't calm down in a panic.

Lin Yanhuan didn't speak, turned around and walked outside, and Mu Yi hurriedly followed his footsteps. The two went downstairs, and Lin Yanhuan drove in the direction of the company.

"Where are you going?" Mu Yi asked anxiously while sitting in the passenger seat, wearing his seat belt.

"Either I went to my company to look for me, or I went to my parents' cemetery. Lin Yanhuan said, his face was expressionless, and he couldn't see what emotions were now.

"Okay. Mu Yi closed his mouth and looked at the road in front of him, which seemed to have no end, and couldn't help but feel guilty to himself. How could he be so stupid to just enter the room and close the door?

The car sped all the way and soon arrived downstairs of the company. Lin Yanhuan almost jumped out of the car and rushed towards the company. He walked around inside and asked the front desk twice if Lin Yansheng had ever been here. The receptionist looked at him suspiciously and shook his head. He turned and ran towards the elevator, went downstairs, jumped into the car, turned around, and drove in the direction of his parents' grave.

"Why, didn't you come here?" asked Mu Yi, looking at his side face. Fine beads of sweat oozed from Lin Yanhuan's head, which exposed his emotions, and Mu Yi knew that his heart was as anxious as burning now.

"Hmm. Lin Yanhuan just responded, he stepped on the accelerator to the end, and with the mentality of driving the car as an airplane, he arrived at the destination within ten minutes. He didn't even have time to lock the door, so he ran to the front.

Where had Mu Yi seen him in this formation, and he followed him while tugging at the sleeves of his clothes that had run away. At last, he could faintly see the two familiar tombstones, which he had been here almost every day for months. A figure stood motionless in front of the tombstone, seemingly holding something in his arms, and was looking at the picture on the tombstone infatuatedly.

Lin Yanhuan stopped a few steps away from her. He took a few breaths, grabbed Mu Yi, who had run over, and whispered, "Don't go over yet." ”

"What's wrong?" Mu Yi asked as he panted as he looked at him.

"Let her be alone. Lin Yanhuan said thoughtfully, "She needs time to digest and accept all this." ”

Mu Yi followed his gaze towards Lin Yansheng, only to see her squinting slightly in the sun, looking at the two photos fixedly, but there was no emotion on her face. The three of them stood in such a position, and the surroundings were quiet, and the chirping of birds could be faintly heard from the trees in the distance.

I don't know how long it took, Mu Yi felt that his legs were numb. Finally, Lin Yan was vivid, she bent down and looked at the two photos closer, her eyes wandering between them. She reached out and touched their still smiling faces, a smile of relief on their faces, as if they were still standing alive in front of her.

"Is she okay?" Mu Yi asked Lin Yanhuan in a low voice, but he couldn't help but be surprised to see the tears in his eyes, reached out and poked his waist, and asked, "Are you okay?"

Lin Yanhuan let out a sigh, held back his tears, and said lightly: "It's okay." ”

Mu Yi looked at him silently, and then looked at Lin Yansheng, feeling a little trance. The weather is so beautiful today, it has rained in the morning, and the sun is shining in every corner, and the puddles on the ground reflect the shining light, like diamonds. The climate in early autumn is a little cool, but under the sunshine, the slightest bit of coldness disappears, and the whole world is warm and satisfying.

He couldn't help but recall that in high school, the three of them would always sneak out for a walk together. Most of the time, the weather is warm, and the sun wraps each of them in their bodies, constantly inputting their own energy into their hearts. It was good at that time, before I had time to see the real side of the world, even if I made a mistake, there was always someone to protect me, and I didn't have to bear any pressure on myself. Mu Yi looked at everything in front of him, felt everything in front of him, and couldn't help but smile, he forgot those bad memories for a while, and only immersed himself in good memories.

Lin Yanhuan walked towards Lin Yansheng, he stood next to her, looked at the photo on the tombstone, and whispered: "Mom and Dad must be very happy in that world, you can rest assured." ”

Lin Yansheng didn't look at him, but when she heard this, she showed a slight smile, the tears in her eyes made her vision a little blurred, and the two smiling faces she saw vaguely seemed to be really moving. She muttered, "You're right, Mom and Dad must have lived happily in that world." ”

Lin Yanhuan turned his head to look at her, took out a tissue from his pocket, and handed it to her. Lin Yansheng took it, wiped the tears on her face, she looked at him, and said, "Yan Huan, I'm sorry for letting you endure so much during this time." ”

"You are my sister, my only relative, let me bear as much as I want. Lin Yanhuan smiled, his smile was very warm, just like the sunshine that sprinkled the sky and the earth.

Lin Yansheng nodded, looking back at the photo of her parents, she felt that the dark fog that was hazy in her heart gradually dissipated, and the voice was no longer shouting sharply, but became gentle. She heard it say, "They love you so much, they love you very much, even if they never show anything, even if they go to another world." Now, if you are doing well, they will be at ease, they will rest assured, you should work hard to make yourself better, stronger, and if you meet underground in the future, you can also proudly say to them: Mom and Dad, I didn't come to this world in vain, I didn't let my mother suffer the pain of pregnancy and childbirth in October, and I didn't live up to their nurturing grace to me in vain. In this life, I have lived a very meaningful and happy life. ”

When half of the sun's face had set below the horizon, they slowly walked towards the exit. They were silent with each other, each with their own thoughts. Lin Yanhuan held her sister's arm, she walked a little staggeringly, all due to the excessive consumption of physical energy these days. Her expression was a little sluggish, and there was an element of relief, as if her heart was still aching, but she was not as passive and world-weary as before. Mu Yi walked next to Lin Yansheng, looking at her from time to time, with a worried look on his face.

"I'll send you back first. After getting into the car, Lin Yanhuan said to Mu Yi.

"It's okay, no, I'll go back by myself. Through the car window, Mu Yi said to Lin Yanhuan, he glanced at Lin Yansheng, who was sitting in the back seat with his head down, and lowered his voice, "Take good care of her." ”

"Don't worry. Lin Yanhuan said, started the engine, and galloped to the other side. Mu Yi looked at the car disappearing into the distance in a daze, a little stunned, sighed, and turned around to walk to the other side.