"Thangka. ”

My eyes were full of tears, and I hurriedly wiped a handful of tears when they were about to fall. Then he walked over and sat on the edge of the thangka's bed.

Thangka's voice seemed to grind sand, hoarse and unbearable.

"Jiayin ......"

I nodded, "I've come to see you." ”

Thangka smiled again, I really wanted to tell him, don't laugh, laughing is worse than crying.

Looking at the current thangka, I can't imagine that the sick man who is now lying in bed is the once high-spirited thangka.

I brought a glass of water to Thangka, and just as Thangka was about to reach out for it, his arm was raised sharply, and he shook off the glass in my hand. It fell to the ground with a thud and fell to pieces.

I took a step back: "How do you ......"

Thangka's whole body began to twitch, the eyeballs in his eyes jumped, and his breathing began to become rapid, these movements seemed to be unconscious, and he couldn't control his convulsions at all.

The door to the ward behind me opened, and several doctors and nurses rushed in and pushed me aside, then gave Thangka a tranquilizer and then a tranquilizer.

I watched from behind, and suddenly I felt as if my breath was blocked, and I hurriedly walked out to take a breath.

Zhang Yi followed behind me and closed the door of the ward.

He explained to me that the high-intensity heroin was injected directly from the arteries. In order to stop the spread of drugs in the blood, Thangka immediately cut off his arm......

My eyes widened in astonishment: "What did you say......?" Cut off your arm?!"

Zhang Yi's eyes dimmed, "The right arm is covered under the quilt...... If it weren't for Brother Tang cutting off his arm himself. I'm afraid my life will be in jeopardy. ”

“…… And now?"

Zhang Yi's eyes looked in from the window on the ward, "It's a day to delay it, the police force is already helping to prepare for the future." ”

"How is that possible?!" I screamed, "The medical conditions here are not good! I know the best doctor in City C, you wait, I'll call!"

"Don't be busy......"

I shook off Zhang Yi's hand, took out my mobile phone and walked to the safe passage to call Lu Jingzhong, not bothering to sit on the seat and look at Pei Sicheng and Pei Haoyu, father and son, my hands kept shaking. I rummaged through the address book for a long time, and after finding Lu Jingzhong's number, I couldn't press it until I reached out from behind and had a finger-bone hand.

Pei Sicheng pulled me up from the ground, sat on the blue public seat, then took my mobile phone and dialed it, waited until it was connected, and said, "Xiao Wu, I'm Pei Sicheng......"

I didn't hear Pei Sicheng's words clearly, my head was all buzzing, as if there were a thousand flies flying around in my head.

Pei Haoyu took out a bottle of water from his small schoolbag and handed it to me: "Aunt Du, you can drink some water." ”

I looked at Pei Haoyu's shining eyes, held him in my arms all of a sudden, and finally shed tears.

Crying for a while. I slowly regained my composure, let go of Pei Haoyu, who was not making a fuss at all at this time, and said, "Thank you." ”

Pei Haoyu picked up a tissue to help me wipe my tears: "Aunt Du, don't cry, it's not good to look good when you cry, my dad can't be my mother if he doesn't like you...... Hey, what are you doing?!Didn't you ask me to comfort Aunt Du?"

Pei Sicheng took Pei Haoyu's back collar, put him aside, and sat next to me.

"I told Lu Xiaowu, it is estimated that the medical team will arrive tomorrow. ”

I nodded.

Lu Xiaowu also said, let you take care of yourself, the wedding invitations have been sent. ”

I opened my eyes wide and looked at Pei Sicheng, obviously in disbelief.

Pei Sicheng said: "I also received an invitation, the 20th of next month, the auspicious day of the zodiac. ”

I said, "Thank you, thank you really." ”

………………

The next day, the medical team from City C arrived, although the most famous doctor came, but in this kind of hospital, it is still because the medical conditions are not good, and in China, this medical method is not advanced enough, in fact, going abroad is the best choice.

However, when I told Thangka the news, he shook his head.

"Jiayin, don't bother," Thangka's eyes couldn't help but tremble when he spoke, and the arm on the quilt couldn't help but tremble violently every once in a while, which was not something that nerves could control at all, "Look at my body, can I still withstand a plane to go abroad? I'm afraid I'm going to die on a plane." ”

I angrily interrupted Thangka's words: "What nonsense are you talking about, are you willing to die like this?"

"Unwilling, unwilling, what's the ......" Thangka said, "Jiayin, can I ask you for something, while I am still conscious......"

I immediately thought of what he wanted to say, and my eyes widened, "Is it Zhou Yusen again?" Let me tell you, this time I won't be soft-hearted, I won't take care of him, you have to take care of him, you have to take care of him! If you dare to die, tomorrow I will find him and throw him into the sea to feed the fish!"

"Don't take care of him," Thangka smiled, "as long as you can help me find him, I want to hear his voice before I die." ”

"He," I paused, "did he come to see you?"

Thangka nodded: "Yes, he came to see me, when I was conscious, Zhang Yi told me that he had been staying at the bedside for a week, basically sleepless, and then I quarreled with him fiercely, and he ran away." ”

I remembered that these two big men were arguing like children, and suddenly I couldn't help but hook the corners of my lips.

"After that, I haven't seen him again," Thangka said. ”

I remembered that I had called and texted Zhou Yusen before, and even left messages on QQ and MSN, but I hadn't received a reply until now, and I couldn't help but feel nervous, looking at Thangka's somewhat blurred eyes, and said, "You wait, I will definitely find Zhou Yusen." ”

But is it so easy to find someone?

It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

But with the thangka, I'd rather think for myself.

I thought about a few locations, the school, the hometown of Yangcheng, and the small town of Yunnan.

I called Zhang Xiaoran first, since she helped report on Li Zhengke's matter, my impression of her has changed, after all, she is from the same school as Zhou Yusen, so I asked her to help, go to Zhou Yusen's department to ask, if Zhou Yusen went back.

The answer is – no.

Then the first location is excluded, and there are two more locations, the hometown of Yangcheng and the small town of Yunnan.

I think it's more likely to be in this small town in Yunnan, because Zhou Yusen can't go far.

But there is a hunch that Zhou Yusen has actually returned to his hometown Yangcheng.

I had a photo of Zhou Yusen on my phone, and I sent the photo to Zhang Yi, who is a local and knows some of the local places better than me, so I asked him to pay more attention to this town. Then that night, I took the train back to Yangcheng, and Pei Si was entrusted by Lu Jingzhong, of course, to go back with me.

"I'm really bothering you, I can go back alone......" I still have a good impression of Pei Sicheng, and Pei Sicheng looks amazing at first glance, and naturally has no immunity to handsome guys, but subconsciously I will still compare him with my Lu Maomao, or I am not as handsome and handsome as my Lu Maomao.

Pei Sicheng waved his hand, and as soon as he said a word, Pei Haoyu leaned over and lowered his head: "Auntie, my dad has been hurt by love, and he needs to go around recently." ”

Pei Haoyu was playing a game with an iPad, I leaned over to take a look, the games were all in English, and I felt dizzy when I looked at a large number of English words, but I saw that Pei Haoyu still had a decent play, and he also took the tablet to explain to me: "Look at it, that's it, it's very simple." ”

I really couldn't play, so I simply turned my head and talked to Pei Sicheng for a few words, only to know that Pei Sicheng had been living in the United States with his son and only returned to China last year.

When I arrived in Yangcheng, it was already more than eleven o'clock in the evening.

Pei Haoyu was already sleeping on Pei Sicheng's shoulder, looking wilted.

I just slept in the hotel all night.

After four years, I came to Yangcheng again, this place where Lu Jingzhong and I met again, and I really liked him.

Early the next morning, before six o'clock, I woke up, and did not disturb Pei Sicheng, and said to the front desk: "If the man in room 512 asks me, please tell him that I will go out and come back before noon." ”

Yangcheng, after four years, I have to say, my heart is a little excited.

Compared with four years ago, there is not much change, but the roads are wider, there are more high-rise buildings, but after all, it is a county-level city, and in recent years, because of environmental pollution problems, steelmaking and ironmaking have closed many large factories.

I got on the bus and went to the bar called Midsummer Lightyear.

It was still exactly the same blue roller shutter, because there were not many people in the bar during the day, and the roller shutter was only half open, and I bent down from below to get in, and there was a strong smell of tobacco and alcohol, which choked me and coughed and covered my mouth.

Although I haven't been here for four years, I can still remember the location of the box at this bar clearly.

However, at the door, a young man with dyed colorful hair stopped me: "You stop!"

I smiled, pulled out two hundred-dollar bills from my wallet and handed them to him, "I'll go in and find someone." ”

Sometimes the relationship is certain, sometimes the money is certain.

This place is the first time I saw Thangka and Zhou Yusen, that is, in the back box, I remember clearly, Zhou Yusen was very timid and shy at that time, I sat next to Zhou Yusen, asked him if he wanted to eat, Zhou Yusen blushed as if he was about to drip blood, and he was so frightened that he rushed out all of a sudden, and Thangka threw away the microphone in his hand and rushed out.

I stood at the door of the box and felt the switch on the wall to turn on.

There is no difference between it and three years ago, the same furnishings, in the air, I seem to see four years ago, we are young with each other.

In this bar, there are not only me, but also Zhou Yusen, who is easy to blush, the high-spirited Thangka, Zheng Rao, who has a clear love and hate, Lin Xiaoxiao, who has a heart higher than the sky, and ...... Lu Jingzhong.

At that time, the broken wine bottle crossed the corner of Lu Jingzhong's eyes, and a red mark was scratched, the traces were distinct, he just tilted his head slightly, didn't say a word, and looked like he was dragged home.

When I think of this, I can't help but shake my head, and there is a smile on my lips.

Out of the bar, I took the bus to my former high school.

When I got off the bus, I could see a tube building at a glance, and because it was close to the school, I rented this house here.

However, since Lu Jingzhong left me behind, I have returned this house, because there will be memories when I look at it.

I don't know if the landlord has already rented the house to someone else, so I thought about it and walked towards the yard.

The dark corridor is still unlit.

After a few moments, my eyes adjusted to the darkness, and I walked inside, counting the house numbers, and the third, stopped.

Actually, before leaving, I secretly assigned a key and handed the original key to the landlord.

I took out the keys from my bag, and it was a little cold in my palm.

Why don't you try to open the door, maybe the landlord rented to the new tenant did not change the key, this is not considered a burglary, it is just a word.

I knocked on the door: "Anyone?!"

No one in the room answered, but it alarmed the residents next to it.

An old lady opened the door and poked her head out, "Little girl, looking for someone?"

I nodded.

"There is no one in this house, three years ago a person came to buy this house, and it has been renovated for a long time, but no one has lived in it, and this house is going to be demolished. ”

"Oh, thank you, Auntie. ”

It seems that someone really lives there, I sighed in my heart, forget it, I really can't do this kind of sneaky thing, squatted down and stuffed the key under the door, and turned to leave.

Today happens to be a Sunday, the only day off for high school students.

This high school is a provincial key, when you enter the door, the doorman has to ask clearly before you enter, I said for a long time, in the face of a middle-aged uncle, and showed that kind of sweeter smile, the uncle finally let me in, and at the end of the day and not at ease, asked me: "Are you really a student who graduated from this school?"

I nodded, "Yes, I also know that four years ago, something big happened here. ”

"What's the big deal?"

I said, "A girl committed suicide by jumping off a building. ”

Uncle Doorman's expression darkened, he has been a doorman here for no less than ten years, how can he not remember this jumping incident within ten years.

However, he definitely didn't know that this girl was my former tablemate.

"When did you graduate?"

I subconsciously hid the year I took a leave of absence and said, "Zero nine years." ”

The doorman said: "There has been a young man here for the past few days, who also graduated in 09, and comes every day." ”

My eyes lit up: "Is he here today?!"

The doorman said, "Here, go in the direction of the teacher's office building." ”

After listening to this, I felt like I was beaten with chicken blood, and I reflexively ran towards the campus.

The old campus, the things I thought I had forgotten, turned out to be in my mind, bit by bit.

Running under two rows of towering poplar trees, past the playground, past the fountain, past two begonia trees, the wind blowing in my ears.

The further I went, the stronger the feeling became.

I remember four years ago, in the area behind the teacher's office building, there was an abandoned table tennis table, which was the "secret base" of Zhou Yusen and Thangka. However, whenever I had dinner and wanted to take a walk, I would follow Thangka Zhou Yusen to this "secret base".

Turning the corner of a wall with deep roots of a tree, the inside suddenly opened up.

Sure enough, behind the rockery, I saw a figure.

I slowed down and walked slowly.

Sure enough, it was Zhou Yusen.

Zhou Yusen was wearing a black shirt and stood against a ping-pong table.

He glanced up at me, not surprised in his eyes, but smiled, "You're here." ”

I pursed my lips, walked over, supported my hands on both sides, and sat on the table tennis table, before I could speak, I heard Zhou Yusen say, "Have you gone to see Thangka?"

"Well, I came all the way from Yunnan to find you. ”

"How did you know I was here?"

"Feeling. I said, "I have a feeling that you're going to be here." ”

Zhou Yusen was silent, he sat on the ground against the table tennis table, and straightened his legs.

For a while, neither of us spoke, but I could tell that Zhou Yusen had something to say to me.

It's just that this silence still has to be broken by me.

"Thangka said he wanted to hear your voice, even if he didn't see you in the end. ”

I clearly saw that Zhou Yusen's shoulders trembled violently.

"Jiayin, I don't know if you can see it, in fact, I have always had that kind of affection for Thangka," Zhou Yusen's voice was deliberately lowered, and even a little hoarse, " Because we grew up together, I was born, I never felt for women, when I knew my particularity, I hid outside alone for a night, I felt like a monster, a pervert, a monster that no one understood, but, after I told Thangka about it, he was only shocked at first, and couldn't move a step at all, but then he was relieved, and looked up a lot of information from the Internet to me, which made me relieved......"

I instantly understood why when I first met Zhou Yusen, it was Thangka who took him to the bar to find a woman, and at that time, I am afraid that Thangka wanted to pull Zhou Yusen up to normality.

Zhou Yusen lowered his head and continued: "However, I don't feel it, I really can't find a little feeling, I just followed the thangka to the video store to watch AV, I didn't feel the slightest feeling......"

I moved my lips and said with some difficulty: "What about the thangka?"

After a long time, Zhou Yusen said: "Thangka was not, but it may have been with me for a long time and influenced by me, that is." ”

I sat with my legs folded, looking at the clouds rolling in the sky, in fact, I had already guessed this kind of relationship between Thangka and Zhou Yusen, but I didn't dare to confirm it.

Although homosexuality is a normal phenomenon, it does go against the laws of nature.

However, I can see it.

"What about you...... Are you out of the closet?"

Zhou Yusen looked up at the front, it was a very tall and very old tree, and the huge crown cast a black shadow on the ground.

"I told my mom a few days ago that my mom had a heart attack and was hospitalized," Zhou Yusen said, "my dad said that I was a bad son, said that I should be cut off, and then said that it was not right, that was wrong! Yes, if I went back ten years, I would think that I was wrong, but in the past ten years, I have seen so many people and so many things, and I know that it is not wrong, it is just a phenomenon that is not accepted by people." ”

Yes, not accepted.

"He said let me change, but I'm different from those who can accept the same sex the day after tomorrow, I'm born with it, I can't change it at all, I've tried it before, and I've tried it under my dad's pressure. ”

Zhou Yusen was on the fifth day of running away from home, and all the money on him was used up, so when I passed by the supermarket, I went in with him to buy daily necessities and took him to the hotel to open a room.

"You take a hot bath, and then get some sleep, don't think about anything else," I saw a red mark on the back of Zhou Yusen's neck, it was estimated that his father beat him, fortunately he took a tube of trauma medicine in the pharmacy just now, "Don't think about blindly hiding, it was you who brought Thangka to this road, and now you leave him alone in the hospital and run back by yourself, what's the matter?" This kind of thing, if you want to explain it to your parents, then come with him." ”

Actually, I want to say that Zhou Yusen is stupid, this kind of thing, if you can hide it, even if it is delayed for a lifetime, how can you confess it.

For example, the parents of our generation are people in the late sixties and early seventies, how can there be two people of the same gender who like this kind of thing, in their eyes, this must be wrong, that is, it is not allowed by the world, it is a family ugliness, and it must be stopped.

Back in the hotel room, I called Zhang Yi and said, "You tell Thangka that I have found Zhou Yusen, and tomorrow's car is estimated to be the day after tomorrow." ”

Zhang Yi's voice also had joy that was difficult to hide, "That's good, it's finally not in vain." may have made Brother Tang happy for two days. ”

I asked, "How is the thangka now?"

Zhang Yi was silent.

I understand, now, I'm afraid I can only support the last time I see Zhou Yusen.

Putting down my phone, I walked up to the balcony, stood in front of the window, and looked at a small forest in front of me, all of which were dark silhouettes, and occasionally birds fluttered their wings and flew up, pecking a ripple in my quiet heart at this moment.

Suddenly, a whistle came from the balcony next door.

The next room is the room of Pei Sicheng and his son.

I turned my head and smiled at Pei Sicheng's gaze.

The whistle just now Pei Sicheng blows, Pei Haoyu may find it interesting, but now he is whistling desperately, his cheeks are bulging, and the spittle stars are flying around, but he can't blow the sound.

Peth didn't care about his own son, and asked me instead, "Go back tomorrow?"