Nervousness and panic made me ignore the paper on the table until the police handed it to me. I chuckled in my heart before I realized that something had been lost.

I took the paper with trembling hands, and on it was a smiling handwriting, with a very short line of words, I'm leaving, don't look for it!

The policeman comforted me and turned away, but I lost all my mind and collapsed on the ground, at a loss.

The original resentment and panic have turned into self-blame, chagrin, and remorse that goes deep into the bone marrow.

I slapped myself in the face and lay on my back on the floor, slowly closing my eyes. I seemed to see Xiaoxiao return home with tears in her eyes, write this sentence on a piece of paper, and sit on the sofa for a while, looking ahead with a blank look. Suddenly, she stood up, glanced slowly at her home, and then turned to leave.

I lay on the floor until it was dark, and then I got up in despair.

I curled up in the corner of the room, burying my head between my legs.

I began to sink into deep self-blame, and I hated myself for why I was so cowardly last night, why I didn't comfort and smile. I hated myself for being jealous and Xiaoxiao for four years with her mentor, and I hated myself for not being so generous and less careful.

I hate myself for everything.

But this, but you can't exchange the smile back.

I reached for my phone and looked at the picture of me and Xiaoxiao on it.

Tears oozed from the corners of his eyes.

I turned off my phone and buried my head between my legs again.

I began to understand why Xiaoxiao left, and I began to gradually put myself in Xiaoxiao's perspective.

How bad I am to leave at that moment like last night. How bad I was to go for a hangover last night. How naïve am I to be jealous, angry, and scared when Xiaoxiao needs to care about the most. My mind was thinking about laughing and laughing all the time, thinking about everything we had been through between us. From the first meeting, to the calmness when she told me to be together, to the sweetness when I traveled to Hangzhou, to the gentle eyes when I took care of her. And yesterday, I was drunk like a dog on the street, and she said to me, come home with me!

If I had come back with her, I am afraid it wouldn't have turned out like this.

I felt like my mind was in a mess, and what Xiaoxiao had said to me was always in my mind. I jerked to my feet and pushed open the window to look at the lights in the distance.

The whole city is intertwined with neon, but my heart has nowhere to put it.

It wasn't until this moment that I realized that it was such a terrible thing to really fall in love with someone.

I took out my phone and started to look at the space of laughter, Weibo, and forums. Look at all her trace messages on the Internet, look at all the news she has posted, and look at every word she has posted. Even Baidu searched for her name, screen name, trying to find her on Baidu. But all this, I can't find where she is now, but it makes me know more about her past life.

I saw the first news she posted when she was just in college, and the photos in it were so young and thin. Seeing the photo she posted when she first came to the Forbidden City, she was not very good at taking pictures, standing in front of the camera, her movements were a little stiff, and her expression was a little shy. I saw everything about her past, but I also saw the news she used to secretly post on Valentine's Day, which didn't mention anyone, only posted a photo of herself, which said, I wish myself a happy Valentine's Day.

Someone left her a message below, only two words, happy!

She replied with a playful look.

I clicked into the person's space, only to find that his space was not open to strangers. But I saw his portrait, and it was the man I had seen that day, the smiling college tutor. His screen name is his real name, Chen Lihui.

I frowned and quickly searched for the name on Baidu.

I didn't expect that I actually saw his news on Baidu.

Baidu also told me that he resigned from his former university last month and transferred to my alma mater as an associate professor.

Seeing all this, I gritted my teeth. He actually went to my alma mater to be an associate professor? Damn, I punched the wall.

No wonder he came to Xiaoxiao last night, it turned out that he had transferred his work to the same city as Xiaoxiao.

My eyes were scarlet, I dropped my phone and looked up, and it turned out that the night had passed and the sun had come out.

I didn't sleep for two days and two nights, but I wasn't tired at all.

At this time, there is only one name in my mind, Chen Lihui!

I hurried out of the house just to do one thing. I'm going to take care of Xiaoxiao and get back the four years of youth that have passed.

……

When I arrived at school, it was exactly eight o'clock in the morning.

Today happens to be the day when the school welcomes first-year students to campus, and the school is full of lights and bustling. The parents of the students and the students who have just come out of the hell of the third year of high school have happy smiles on their faces, and for them who have already stepped into the gates of the university, this is where the dream begins.

I bypassed it all and made a beeline for the school office.

The security guard at the door asked me vigilantly, who to look for.

I smiled and said to the security guard, I am a parent of a student, looking for Professor Chen.

The security guard instantly let me in with an expression of understanding that I understood.

After searching for a long time, I finally found Chen Lihui's office.

I went up and knocked on the door, and there was a call from inside, please come in.

I pushed the door in, then closed the door and locked it!

The moment I closed the door, a sinister smile appeared on my face.

……

By the time I came out of this office, it was already two o'clock in the afternoon.

I don't want to say what happened in the office, but my face was also swollen.

Walking down the street in the hot sun, I felt like my consciousness was blurry. The whole person's eyes are blank, like walking corpses.

I don't know where I'm going, and I don't know what I'm going to do.

I didn't sleep for two days and two nights, and I went through so many things and tosses, and the psychological blow completely crushed me.

My body was almost cold under the scorching sun.

My consciousness is getting more and more blurred, I can't see everything in front of me clearly, I just feel that the whole world is a ravioli, and I am a speck of dust in the whole world.

I think that's the end of my life.

……

When I woke up, the first thing that caught my nose was a seductive scent. Living with Xiaoxiao for so long, I can smell that this is emanating from a woman's body.

In my sleep, I seemed to suddenly realize something, hugged the woman in front of me suddenly, screamed and laughed excitedly, I hugged the woman tightly in my arms and said: "Xiaoxiao, don't leave me, I love you, I will always love you." ”

The woman I was holding pushed me away and scolded, "Fuck, I'm sick." ”

I opened my eyes and sat up sharply. Found me in a shabby damp rental house with nothing but a bed, and a rotten quilt. And the woman I had just mistaken for a smile was sitting there at the moment. She wore heavy makeup on her face, and although she was wearing only underwear, she was uninhibited in front of me. To be honest, the woman in front of me looks very delicate, but the heavy makeup on her face and the tattoo on her shoulder make me feel sick to her at first.

I think of holding her and even sharing a bed with her.

I instantly jumped out of bed and asked the woman, "Who are you?"

The woman yawned, got out of bed, picked up a piece of clothing, and said to herself, "Who am I? I won't eat you." ”

I sat on the bed again, some embankment of this woman.

The woman turned around, unbuttoned her bra with her back to me, and took out another one. Only then did he turn to look at me and say, "Xiaoya brought you back, she went to work, and she will be back in a while." ”

I looked at the woman with some timidity, and my intuition told me that she and I didn't live in the same circle.

The woman seemed interested in my reaction, came up to me, patted me on the cheek, laughed and said, "Don't worry, my sister is not a bad person." ”

I don't know why, but I was disgusted with the woman in front of me.

However, who is Xiaoya in her mouth?

Why did Xiaoya bring me here?

After a while, Xiaoya in the woman's mouth came back.

When I saw Xiaoya, I was shocked. Because Xiaoya is, Li! God! Hui!

"You!" When I saw Li Tianhui, I was speechless.

Li Tianhui glared at me, turned around and looked at the arrogant girl with a smile and said, "Sister Hong, this guy has been sleeping for two days, I'll take him out to eat something." ”

With that, Li Tianhui pulled me out of the room.

……

This neighborhood is an urban village, and Li Tianhui led me to a small restaurant, where the tables, chairs, and tableware were dirty and greasy. Li Tianhui ordered me a bowl of wontons, and when the wontons were served, Li Tianhui took out chopsticks and gave them to me, and said with a smile: "You just woke up after two days of sleep, eat something with soup first." ”

Picking up the chopsticks, I didn't rush to eat, but asked the doubt in my heart: "Why am I here?"

Li Tianhui told the reason, she happened to pass by near the school that day, and saw me lying on the ground, no matter how I screamed, and then she took me to the hospital for a check-up, the doctor said that I was too tired, I fell asleep, but I was a little dehydrated, so the doctor gave me a bottle of glucose, and Li Tianhui carried me home when I hung the bottle.

As a result, I slept for two days.

I ate the wontons slowly and listened to Li Tianhui talk about these things.

After Li Tianhui finished speaking, I only ate a few bites of my wontons.

Looking at Li Tianhui with a smile on her face, I hesitated for a moment and asked her, "What work did you do after graduation?"

Li Tianhui said: "I work as a salesperson in a nearby supermarket. ”

I was dumbfounded when I heard this. I don't mean to discriminate against supermarket salesmen, but I don't understand why Li Tianhui, who was so arrogant at the beginning, can now stoop to a small supermarket.

Li Tianhui saw through my thoughts, and said with some frustration: "No way, the university only cares about fun, the majors are wasted, I didn't take any certificates, I applied for a few companies, and people don't want me, so I can only go to be a salesperson first." ”

Listening to Li Tianhui talk about her, I didn't reply, and silently bowed my head and ate wontons.

Li Tianhui told everything about herself.

From beginning to end, Li Tianhui didn't ask me what I was doing now, nor did she ask me why I fainted on the street.

I didn't tell her either.

After eating a bowl of wontons, Li Tianhui paid, and the two of us went out of the small restaurant.

I looked at Li Tianhui, who was arrogant and arrogant when I was studying, and solemnly said to her: "Thank you." ”

Li Tianhui said to me with a smile: "It's okay if you're fine, I still have to go to work at night, you can go back by yourself, pay attention to your body in the future, don't suffer from heat stroke again." ”

I didn't explain, nodded, and mumbled.

Li Tianhui turned to leave, and I stopped and looked at her back for a long time.

What I didn't know was that after Li Tianhui turned a street, she hid in the corner and cried into tears.